Terrible Company Ch. 14

" 'ang on," the Dwarf said, as she came to a stop. "Even if we spli' up, it'd take days t'look through 'ere."

"Mr. of the Mountain?" Ivy said timidly. "Is there any reason something might not go back down the mountainside, even if it's being recalled and everything is working perfectly?"

The Wizard turned back around to them, and for just a moment his eyes flickered. "Oh," he said, eyes opening wider. "Right. This way."

***

"Here we are," the Wizard said, as they rounded a corner. "I suspect we have found our 'boy'."

Val held out her arm, barring the others from reacting as the Wizard came to a stop in front of them. There, at the end of what seemed to all of them like the hundredth identical row of piles and piles of stuff, was a young boy sitting frustratedly on a stool in an area delineated with yellow and black striped tape. On the wall behind him, in great big letters, read 'Time Out'.

"What am I even looking at?" Katsa whined.

"Young Ashton here didn't think the rules applied to him."

"Ohhh," Ivy said, nodding slowly. "Yeah. Bard Rule number 1."

"See?" the Wizard said. "She gets it."

The Bard brought her arms up over her breasts and folded them in disapproval. The boy finally noticed them, but did nothing as he sat glumly.

"What did 'e do?"

"He broke the rules," the Wizard said simply.

"Yeah, bu' which one?"

"Does it matter?" Ivy asked loudly.

"Ah..." Mathilda blinked in consternation. "Ah guess no'?"

The redhead frowned, muttering under her breath about the audacity of youth.

The Arcanist cleared her throat, knowing even as she spoke up that she would likely regret it. "Are these rules posted somewhere?"

The Wizard pointed, without looking, to his right where a large sign hung from the ceiling. It was a sign Katsa had seen duplicated elsewhere in the building but not really paid attention to. She squinted, trying to discern the tiny lettering from a distance, and then looked over at the boy whose age she guessed was no more than five. "Can he even read?"

When no one answered after a few seconds, the Wizard looked around. "Were you asking me?"

"Yes."

"I have no idea. He's not my child."

"Well don't you think it's a little harsh to punish a kid for rules he can't understand?"

"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that," Ivy said, straightening and turning slightly, "for the sake of our friendship."

"None of that matters now," Val said, stepping in. "We're going to take him back down to his mother, alright?"

The Wizard's eyes flashed with an unearthly glow. "His punishment is to continue for another four hours, nineteen minutes, and thirty seven seconds."

"Come on. His mother is losing her—"

Val took a half-step forward as she talked, conversationally, and the Wizard struck so quickly and so casually that Katsa barely registered it happening in front of her. It seemed like all the old man did was wave his arm in dismissal of Val's continued-but-muted belligerence, but there was a flare along the length of his arm and suddenly the big Orc was tumbling backwards through the air.

Ayen immediately tried throwing one of his knives, but it flew well wide of its intended target. He swallowed hard as the Wizard turned to him, but before the old man could respond in kind, Mathilda launched herself forward. Swinging her big hammer like it weighed nothing. The heavy iron head struck a solid, invisible barrier around the Wizard, ringing like a gong, and before the Dwarf could bring it around for another strike the Wizard lashed out. He sent the Healer tumbling, and she in turn knocked out Ayen with her panicked flailing.

Katsa looked back over her shoulder. Val was crumpled in front of a support beam, unconscious. Ayen was moving, but the Dwarf was on top of him and unresponsive. Katsa raised her arm, rune-embroidered gloves at the ready as always, and shrieked when the Wizard grabbed her by the wrist and lifted her off the ground.

"Is this what they're teaching at the Guild these days?" the Wizard asked, peering at her elbow-length glove. "Parlor tricks and shortcuts? This is what passes for an Arcanist anymore?"

Katsa grunted and twisted, the tips of her boots a full six inches off the ground. She knew Val could lift her like this, but Val was also a walking mountain of muscle. The Wizard was an old man, if not quite elderly. He should not have been so strong. He peered at her, and Katsa felt a terrible chill pass through her. A feeling of being judged.

"Put her down!" Ivy demanded, planting her feet firmly, "or you will live to regret it!"

"No," Katsa shouted, but she knew, as she soared through the air after being thrown, that nothing she did or said, and nothing she could have done or said, would have had any impact. She landed hard on her left shoulder and cried out as she slid. Her arm badly sprained if it wasn't broken, to say nothing of the bruises.

Ivy stood as the Wizard of the Mountain rose above her, features transfixed in defiance. She reached into the pile of someone else's stuff and pulled out a ukulele. The bearded old man scowled at her, but the turn of his lips did nothing to stop her from playing a low C in rapid triplets. Whatever the Wizard had been expecting her to do, it wasn't that. Katsa tried to lift herself up, but the pain shooting down her side made her cry out.

Chord.

Chord, chord, chord.

Chord, chord, chord.

Chord, chord, chord.

The Wizard rolled his eyes and sighed, but then flinched. Katsa groaned as she moved, trying to follow his eyes, and gasped when she saw Mathilda floating into the air. Her body was still limp, limbs and head slumped as if only suspended by her torso.

"Rising Uuuuuup! Baaack on the street!"

Mathilda's hair wafted ephemerally, as if caught in a faint breeze, as she rotated in the air to be oriented as if standing. Her eyes shot open, each emitting a shaft of blazing yellow light that bathed the area around her in warmth. The brightness was such that Katsa had to shield her face. The Wizard made no such move to protect himself, and merely stared in detached curiosity over Ivy's head.

"Did my tiiiime! Took MY chaaaances!"

Mathilda's mouth opened, casting another beam of yellow forward. The voice, and the sound, that poured from her was as incomprehensible as it was deafening. A slithering roar, like all the waterfalls in Ephacia gathered together. Katsa could only lift one arm to cover her ear, and had to settle for mashing the left ear into her shoulder through great pain. Even then, the vibrations in her skull were so intense as to blur her vision. Still she forced herself to watch, as much as she was able to, and bore witness to one of the greatest sights she'd ever beheld.

The Wizard, seemingly aware that the power imbalance had shifted against him, took a step backwards, but no small distance at this point would remove him from the attention he had brought upon himself. He raised his arms, unleashing an assault on Mathilda that Katsa only recognized a small portion of as being Arcane in nature. The rest of it she could see but not understand, and in the end, none of it fazed Mathilda in the slightest.

The old man despaired at his impotence, but his hubris would not be so easily overcome. He planted his feet and summoned the full extent of his strength. The omnipresent light in the cave system blurred and tilted as he directed a torrent of pure energy at the radiant Dwarf but she redirected it into the surrounding stone with no more concern than if she were swatting an annoying bug. Her counterstroke was not so easily cast aside, and though it happened quickly, only just slightly more than the blink of an eye, Katsa knew she would remember it forever.

"... oooooof the TIIIIIIIIIGER!!!!!"

Mathilda crashed to the floor in a heap. Ivy stood there, chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath, looking exceedingly triumphant. Of the Wizard of the Mountain, there was no trace. Echoes of the raw power that had so recently surged through the massive room rang out through the cave, and Katsa's retinae burned purple and red. Shadows of a shadow.

"Did I do it?" Ivy gasped. "Did I win?"

Katsa groaned loudly as she pushed herself up onto her knees. Already her shoulder was healing, though she knew it would be much better and less painful if—

"Mathilda," Katsa croaked. For a few moments there, she'd been so awestruck by the unfolding of events that she'd almost forgotten that was her friend. "Is she..."

"She's breathing," Ivy said, leaning over the unconscious Dwarf.

"What the hell was that?" the Half-Elf squawked. He propped himself up on his elbows and looked around in near panic. "Can anybody explain any part of what the hell just happened?"

Katsa weakly got to her feet and trudged over to the Orc. It pained her to see the blood running from Val's nose and lip, and it had been a long time since she'd had enough emotion invested in anyone else to register. The Blonde human dropped to her knees again, almost on purpose, and wrenched a small baggie from a hidden seam in her shoulder and a vial from her left hip. She quickly mixed the two and fought to get as much of the contents of the vial into Val's mouth.

Val's eyes popped open, and she immediately turned and expectorated vigorously onto the concrete. "Fugh," she groaned. "Eugh. Whah the heww! Was thah thupposed to help?!"

Katsa tried to pass off her weak, failed smile as a smirk. "The most that was going to do was wake you up."

"Mithon accomplithed."

"Seriously," Ayen said haggardly. "What the hell just happened?"

"I did it," Ivy said brightly. "With song!"

The Arcanist groaned and slid across the floor toward the pile of Dwarf. "I don't know for sure, and I doubt Mathilda will know any better, but I think we just saw one God kill another one."

"Him?" Ayen asked, turning and pointing, and then losing a few seconds while he tried to figure out where the body was that he wanted to point at. "He wasn't... He was just a man."

"Gods get their power from worship. From prayer. From belief."

"That's not true," he balked, turning to Val. "Is it?"

The big Orc scoffed. "What the hell are you asking me for?"

"They are not immortal, omnipotent beings," Katsa said, distantly. "They have not existed for all eternity. I have seen the faces of the Gods, and there is no room at their table. This right here? This was a hit."

"Whyyyyyyy don't we circle back around to this creepiness later," Val groaned, as she slowly rose to her feet. "I have no clue what it was that guy was doing in this cave, and I don't really want to be here to see what happens when he's not around to do it anymore."

Ivy smiled brightly as she rejoined the group, with the boy perched on one of her arms. Katsa helped Ayen to his feet, and the two of them leaned on each other for support.

The big Orc sighed in resignation as they all stood around the sleeping Mathilda. "I'm gonna have to carry her, aren't I?"

***

"Ah'm fine," Mathilda roared, as she stumbled and slid down the last few feet of steeply inclined path, though even she had to admit that her balance was shaky at best.

"Let her go." The Arcanist shook her head and looked up. Already, much of the C word had dispersed. She could even see the mountain.

Ivy put the boy down and he ran crying to his mother, but a small crowd of angry townspeople stormed in their direction almost as quickly. Ayen immediately disappeared.

"What have you done?!" shrieked a heavy-set man in a stained apron. Others behind him yelled in agreement. A few were carrying makeshift weapons and torches. "The Cloud isn't responding!"

Ivy stepped forward, donning her black velvet top hat and clearing her throat. "Despite great peril and grievous injury to our persons, we have valiantly rescued this boy child."

"Forget the boy," a woman shouted. "What about the festival?"

"Forget the festival," another one shouted. "All my stuff is up there!"

"How're we supposed to get it back?" asked a third. There was a groundswell of support for that question from the assembled mob.

"Those are all negatives," Ivy said calmly. "Focus on the positives."

"What positives?" the first man cried.

"We rescued the boy!"

"Rescued him from what?!" he roared.

"Time Out."

"What the hell does—"

"I said, Time Out." To further make her point, Ivy put the palm of one flattened hand over the fingertips of the other flattened hand and turned them to form a capital T. "Don't you know what Time Out means?"

Several of the townspeople stammered and stuttered.

"It means pause."

Ivy nodded once, firmly, as if the matter was settled, turned back to the rest of the group and whispered,"So we're going to run. On three."

***

Ayen met them a little down the road with their horses, and that made it much easier to escape their pursuers. Once they'd put a few more miles behind them, their flight lost much of its urgency, and by that evening things had almost returned to normal. Except for the quiet.

None of their trademark banter was present. Everyone was somber and composed, and the longer it went on, the more sure Mathilda was that it was her. The next morning, she volunteered to scout ahead so she could stop feeling like they were all trying to avoid staring at her.

The last thing she expected, especially given how weird it had gotten the previous afternoon, was for Ayen to ride up behind her in mid morning. She said nothing, barely noting his presence as he drew his horse beside hers, and scowled forward.

"Hey," he said.

Mathilda nodded grimly.

"How're you doing?" When Mathilda didn't immediately respond, he added, "You know, after yesterday."

"Fine."

"Really?"

"Ah said Ah was fine, didn' Ah?"

Ayen nodded, accepting, and was quiet for a few more moments. "Am I allowed to be impressed?"

"By wha'?"

"I mean, a God used you as his meat puppet, and you were up and walking around an hour later. That's fucking impressive."

" 'at's no' impressive. Ah didn' do anythin'."

Ayen laughed. "Look. We're not going to argue about this. I've seen enough healers in my time who'd get winded taking care of a deep cut. The stuff you do on a daily basis is difficult enough, but channelling power like that? For that long? That's insane."

Mathilda grumbled wordlessly. "Ah s'pose ye'd wan' me to keep on about Breta 'n me then?"

"Actually, " the Thief said, pausing briefly to clear his throat, "I thought maybe I'd tell you one this time."

The Healer blinked at him. "Ye'll do wha' now?"

"I think it's my turn. Don't you?"

"Ah... Are ye..." Mathilda frowned, and then narrowed her eyes even further.

"I mean, fair is fair, right?"

"...righ'..."

"Okay then. So, about fifteen years ago, I was in this box suite, watching a really dreary rendition of The Count of Molieri. The Duchess, whom I was a guest of, was a big fan of public sex of all kinds. Hand jobs. Blowjobs. Anything she thought she could get away with."

"Uh huh," Mathilda added, with a slow nod.

"She loved it so much that she could get off if she was going down on me where we might get caught."

"Uh huh."

"So there we are, in the balcony, and she's on her knees between my legs. She had very... I mean... She had good technique, don't get me wrong, but it was the added thrill of fear that made it fantastic."

"Sure."

"So I'm sitting there, and the performance is bad. On the stage, I mean. The soprano can barely hit the notes she's supposed to and the blocking is awful, so I start looking around and there, straight across the theater, in another balcony is this woman. And she's just watching us."

The Dwarf coughed, and used that as an excuse to adjust her seated position.

"She's got the binoculars and everything. Just sitting there, cool as can be, watching the very married Duchess of Innister go down on me. And the Duchess, she's just going to town. I mean... it was as good as she'd ever been, and right in the middle of it, as I'm really about to reach a panic that we'd actually been caught, this woman turns and taps the shoulder of another man I hadn't even seen yet. Like, he was blending in with a shadow."

"The Duchess' 'usband?"

"Better," Ayen said with a grin. "Her brother."

"No," Mathilda said softly.

"Spitting image of her too. Had to be twins. They had the exact same eyes."

"Twins?"

"Twins," Ayen repeated, nodding. "By the way, it is totally cool with me if you touch yourself. I would even go so far as to say you'd be paying me a compliment."

Mathilda scoffed and shook her head, but immediately found herself looking back over her shoulder to see how far back the rest of the group was. When she looked back Ayen was smirking, and she rolled her eyes. "So then wha'appened?"

Ayen's grin widened, and he leaned a little closer.

//Follow-up Note: Votes and comments are dearly appreciated. The final chapter of Terrible Company will be found in the Humor category. If you found the storytelling to be interesting or funny, I would encourage you to check out the rest!

This is a completed series. There are fifteen total chapters with a satisfying conclusions (I think) to the individual plot threads for each character. You don't have to worry about getting to the end and finding out I gave up or lost interest because it's totally done! Isn't that awesome of me to finish something I started?//