That Damned Blessing Ch. 01

It must have been the energy of the crowd, the fervency of religious belief, that was making Ryan's and Jess' skin prickle. They found that their eyes were riveted onto Adouwe's face, and they rocked back and forth on their stools in time with the chanting. Whatever the words were, they had a preacher's force and diction, and the pair found themselves holding their breath for each new phrase that was called and responded to. It all seemed so very portentious.

It was around then that they saw the old woman lurking malevolently at the back of the crowd, not taking part in the chanting and fixing the McCullen's with a baleful stare. I won't be sad to get away from her, Jessica thought. She's scary and she hates me for some reason.

Adouwe took no notice of the woman. He called out and Aneri stepped forward carrying a long, twisted taper of dried reeds that was almost as long as he was; the end was smoldering and giving off thin gray smoke. Adouwe turned and held the bowl down for the boy and Aneri touched the flame to the contents of the bowl. In a few moments the bowl was emitting smoke too. The old man turned and held the bowl down in front of Ryan. With a smile, he said, "Breathe deep, Ryan McCullen."

Ryan looked rather dubiously at the contents of the bowl. It seemed to be mostly dried tinder with small bundles of herbs and sprinkled with pieces of two flowers, one bright blue and one a rather sickly orange-yellow. Trying not to think of the many, many movies where this kind of thing went horribly wrong, Ryan breathed in the smoke, and...it wasn't awful. He'd certainly smelled incense that was worse. This was similar to a campfire but a little peppery, with something reminiscent of cinnamon. Suddenly there was a swirl in his head, a rush of sensations that were not quite images, not quite ideas, and Ryan had the distinct sense of his mind being momentarily rearranged, kind of like when he took a hit of really good weed -- and then it was gone and he was himself again.

He was just glad he didn't embarrass himself by coughing.

Adouwe beamed and turned. "Breathe deep, Jessica McCullen."

Jess didn't hesitate. She inhaled for a long time, an enormous smile on her face. The same swirl took her, held her, and the sensation lingered for longer than it had with her son -- she felt it flow through her body like a mild electrical current, setting her to tingle all the way down her arms to her fingertips, all the way down her legs to her toes, deep in the pit of her stomach, setting a warm glow in her womb. It was heady, dizzying, a bit frightening -- and then it disappeared and she felt as she had before.

Adouwe looked positively triumphant. He held the bowl up as high as he could reach, said a few more words, and then crouched and turned the bowl over, grinding the contents into the mud until the smoke was extinguished. The crowd sent up a cry of delight -- all except the old woman.

Adouwe handed the bowl to one of his daughters and turned back to Ryan and Jess. "The blessing is finished. Congratulations."

"Oh, it was lovely!" Jessica said, clapping her hands together in glee. "I never thought I would experience anything like that!"

"Yeah, it was cool," Ryan said -- and it had been, surprisingly, one of the few actual spiritual experiences of his life. "So now that it's over, can I ask what it was all about?"

Adouwe beamed. "Why, it was a fertility blessing. You, Ryan and Jessica, shall grow together as no other man and woman could. Your love shall deepen and never fade, your lust for each other shall burn like the sun, your children shall be many and strong --"

Ryan tried to keep a straight face and failed disastrously. He barked a laugh and said, "She's not my wife, she's my mom."

Adouwe said, "As the years pass, you shall be part of each other, your family shall be unshakable in the face of -- sorry, what?"

"Ryan is my son," Jessica said, keeping her composure rather more successfully. "We're not a couple."

A gasp rose from several throats in the crowd, the English-speaking ones.

Adouwe blinked, paused, blinked again, and then said, "Are...um...oh. Are...are you sure?"

Now Jess did smile. "Oh yes, I remember it very clearly."

Adouwe's brow furrowed and he threw a look over his shoulder at the old woman hovering like a vulture nearby. "You...are...mother and son. Um..."

"But it was a lovely thought, and a beautiful ceremony!" Jessica hastened to add..

"Oh...yeah...no. Yeah. It's great you liked it. Great." The old man looked like he might faint. "No, that's...wonderful. You're positive you're not married, then? Or, you know, boyfriend and girlfriend who just happen to have the same surname? Anything like that?"

"I'm pretty sure, yeah," Ryan said, beginning to feel acutely uncomfortable in the way one always gets when a decent person makes an utter ass of himself. "I mean, I probably would have remembered that."

The crowd was whispering now, and suddenly the old woman burst through the group and pointed her cane at Adouwe. Neither Ryan nor Jessica knew what she was saying, but she was obviously not pleased.

Adouwe ignored her. "It was just with the last names being the same, and the way you look together, you know, kissing, holding hands, I thought...well. Hrrm."

The old woman got more strident. Adouwe ignored her some more.

"Don't worry," Jess assured him, rising to put a hand on his arm. "It was really a huge honor to be part of this ceremony. I know how much it means to your people."

Ryan's brief feeling of spiritual connectedness had been replaced by the thought, And this is why I'm not religious. Still, who cared? The only harm done was to Adouwe's pride. "It's alright, man. Really."

"And honestly I'm flattered that you thought I was young enough to be Ryan's wife!" Jessica laughed. "That's the nicest compliment I've had in months."

"Yeah, no, yeah, no, that's...great," Adouwe nodded, looking more and more unsteady with each passing moment. "That's great. Really. It's just...it's great. Great!"

The old woman jabbed him between the shoulder blades with her cane and he finally turned to face her. She immediately launched into a tirade that the McCullen's didn't catch a word of, but which had the obvious air of I fucking told you so.

There were a few moments of milling about, with everyone seemingly whispering to everyone else. Ryan exchanged a look with his mother and they both broke into uncomfortable giggles, which they rapidly suppressed. This was obviously a very big deal to these nice people, so it wouldn't do to laugh at their discomfort.

The people were now looking acutely uncomfortable. Their earlier smiles had now vanished and they seemed reluctant to meet the eyes of the McCullens. As the old people's arguments escalated, the villagers began easing away and sidling toward their homes. After about a minute though, a young man stepped forward and said in excellent Australian English, "Sorry about this, mates. Just a bit of a...cock-up."

"Oh, it's no problem," Jessica assured the man. "Really, it was a thrilling thing to be a part of. Thank you."

"Oh, yeah, you know, we wanted to thank you," the man said, smiling uneasily. "You know, for everything you did. You know. Saving a child's life and all. Bloody good on you."

"It was...um...." Ryan stammered, distracted now by the spittle-laced invective the old woman was pouring onto Adouwe "I mean, I had to. Anybody would have. I was just in the right place at the right time."

"Well, still, we owed you, but...well, I think the feast is off," the man said. "Ahhh...sorry it didn't work out. You know, any of it. At all."

Adouwe and the old woman were shouting at each other now, a standoff only cut short when she clobbered him over the head with her cane with sound like a baseball bat hitting a honeydew. Adouwe squawked and covered his head so that the second blow landed on his hands. With that he yelped in dismay and turned tail, the old woman pursuing with an agility that suggested that she might not need the cane after all.

"Oh dear," Jessica murmured.

"They're just, you know...sorting some things out," the man said, watching as Adouwe vanished around the corner of a building under a rain of blows from the old woman. "No worries, mates."

By this point the last of the villagers were vanishing into their houses.

"Yeah. Maybe...we ought to go?" Ryan suggested.

"Ummmm...yeah, that might be best," the man nodded sadly. "Sorry about, you know..."

"That's alright. We really should have explained that we were mother and son at the beginning," Jessica assured him, though there was no reason for them to have done anything like that.

The man was looking at them like they'd both just received a terminal prognosis. "Yeah, well, you know, mother and son bond. Strongest in the world. I'm sure it'll see you through. I'm sure. No worries. At all."

Ryan thought about offering his hand to shake, but the way the man was looking at them it might just make him turn tail and run; the part of him that wanted a release from the sudden awkward tension would have been tickled to do just that, but he couldn't help feeling bad for the whole village. Especially Adouwe "Ok, well...I guess we'll...roll on out. Back to the hotel."

The man walked them to their jeep, and as they climbed in, he said, "You know, I wouldn't worry about anything. It was just a superstitious ceremony. Nothing to it, mates. Nothing will come of it."

"We're not religious," Ryan told him, "so it's alright. It was a really nice thought."

"And it was still an honor," Jessica assured him again.

"And I'm glad we could help Aneri," Ryan added.

"We will always be grateful," the man assured him solemnly, but by now his eyes were pleading with them to leave and put an end to this agony. The three exchanged goodbyes, and as the jeep drove down the mountain, the man shook hie head sadly and whispered, "You poor fucking bastards."

Ryan and Jess didn't speak until they were two minutes outside the village, when they both exploded into gales of laughter at the same moment. "Oh my God!" Ryan laughed. "That got weird fast!"

"Oh, I felt so bad for Adouwe! He's a sweet man who just wanted to do something nice for us."

"That explains why the old woman didn't like you though. She knew you were my mom."

Jessica laughed. In spite of the awkwardness, being mistaken for an 18-year-old young man's wife was exactly the ego boost she needed after her dark thoughts of that morning. "Let that be a lesson to you, Ryan. Always listen to your wife when she tells you you're being an idiot!"

"I don't think that was his wife, she was too old," he said. "I think she was his mom. You just made the same mistake Adouwe did."

Jess giggled. "Well in that case, all the more reason to always listen to your mother! We know a thing or two."

Ryan grinned and shook his head. "They really took it seriously, didn't they?"

"Well sure," she nodded. "Imagine if they only held the Super Bowl once in a lifetime. It would be a huge event for our culture."

Football-loving Ryan winced. "Don't even say that! It's not funny."

She shot him a look out of the corner of her eye, weighed her words carefully, and then casually said, "We do make a pretty hot couple."

"What?"

"Seriously. I could do worse than hang off the arm of a hot young stud like you."

He sighed and frowned. "Oh don't even start."

"I could be your prom date for your senior year."

Ryan blushed red, put his hands over his face, and groaned. "I am never going to hear the end of this, am I?"

"Just wait until I tell your father he's being replaced by a trophy husband."

"Kill me. Just kill me and hide my body in the jungle. Tell everybody I fell in the volcano."

Jessica could hold it no longer and burst into a peal of laughter. Ever since he was a little boy, Ryan had always been adorable when he was embarrassed. His ears got so red! "Oh if you could see your face."

"Yeah yeah, you're hilarious. I'm of the opinion that nobody ever needs to hear about this."

"Oh honey, you saved a little boy! I'm going to tell everyone about my hero son!"

"But not the ceremony. Right?" No answer. "Right?"

Jess giggled again. "Oh no. Not that. I'm only telling your dad about that."

Ryan groaned like he'd been stabbed. "Do you really have to tell him?"

"Why not? He'll think it's hilarious. And he'll only tease you about it when Kim isn't around."

"Oh God, please tell me you won't tell Kim!"

"Of course not, kiddo. I want to embarrass you, not make you run away from home."

"Because I will. She would torment me 'til my dying day with this."

"Which is why everyone but your dad will be told you saved a child and received the thanks of a grateful village."

"We saved a child, remember? I'm not letting you downplay your part in it."

Jess paused, then said with a perfectly straight face, "Maybe Lexy will have some competition for my hero son, All the ladies will want a piece of you. Young old, married single, they'll be kicking down your hotel door."

"Why is this day just getting more and more awkward?"

She smirked. "Don't worry, I won't tell Lexy that people think I'm your perfect girlfriend."

"Ugh. Can we just not talk?"

Jess giggled for the next two miles. Ryan was always so much fun to tease.

"-- and then she made a perfect throw. I don't even know how she did it. The cable landed almost on top of me. All I had to do was hold onto the cable and the kid and let her pull us both out," Ryan said as he walked along the beach, hands in pockets at the sun set behind the hills.

Lexy walked next to him, her big brown eyes wide and shining with admiration. "You're a hero, Ryan!"

"No I'm not!" he laughed, though he liked to hear her tell him he was. "I just did what anyone would do, anyone who could swim I mean. I didn't even have time to think."

"That's always what heroes say," she said, slipping her arm around his waist as the incoming tide lapped their feet. "I'm very proud of you."

"Thank you, babe. But I really didn't do anything much."

"I am willing to bet his parents disagree with that."

"Well..." Don't mention the ceremony, don't mention the ceremony, don't mention the ceremony... "They seemed pretty happy, yeah."

"I believe you ought to get a reward for your brave, brave actions," she said firmly.

No more rewards, please. His tolerance level for absurdity had been reached and surpassed already. "When my mom told my dad, he said he was going to arrange like a beach party for me and mom tonight."

"There's a beach party every night," she scoffed. "And I was thinking of something with rather a more...personal...touch."

"Oh, that kind of reward! You know, I was pretty heroic after all..."

"Yes, you were," she giggled, pressing herself against him. Suddenly she grabbed his arm and began pulling him forward at a run. He followed behind eagerly, ready to go where she led. They ran fifty yards together to a broken rowboat that had been cast up on the beach by the storm and was partially buried in the sand. She pulled him down on the side of it facing the ocean and kissed him fiercely.

Oh, Lexy. Of all the things on this island, he was going to miss her the most when he left for home.

Her tongue plundered his mouth like her Visigothic ancestors plundered Barcelona. He'd seen her horny a lot -- a lot -- but never anything like this. Apparently saving kids got chicks randy! Her tongue twined itself around his, sucking, coaxing, cajoling, while down below she took his trunks in both hands and yanked them down over his hips.

And suddenly her head was down there too. She looked up at him, her hand around his raging erection and her smiling face next to it, and then she swallowed him to the root, her tongue doing to his cock what it had been doing to his mouth moments before. All Ryan could do was moan and enjoy a hero's proper reward. As Lexy's long, dexterous fingers began caressing his balls, he wondered idly if Captain America got head from gorgeous Spanish girls whenever he saved someone...

"Hey everybody, listen up!" Kim's voice rose above the din. "Hey! Everybody! I want to propose a toast."

About fifty people were gathered around the cabana bar that, through dint of serious effort by people who wanted to sell alcohol, had been reconstructed over the course of the day. The task had been made possible by the fact that there wasn't much to it -- it was basically half a room with some shelves, a cobbled-together bar, and a small storage room in back. Most importantly, additional stocks of alcohol had been secured; not everything had been replaced (there was no Cointreau, and no vermouth could be found on the island for love or money) but there was more than enough to get a crowd lubricated.

Now that she had everyone's attention, Kim went on. "So most of you know that earlier today, my mom, Jessica McCullen, saved a little boy who was about to be drowned." There was an appreciative cheer and a round of applause. Jessica blushed and waved. "So right now, tonight, there's a child who is going to get to grow up because my mom was there, and I think that's pretty amazing!"

There was a bigger cheer this time, punctuated by a shout of "Bloody good on ya!" and another of "Ona geroinya!" Jess accepted the applause with grace, and when it had died down she said, "Aren't you forgetting someone, honey?"

"Hmm?" Kim asked. "What you mean? You were the only one there, weren't you? Oh, right!" She turned to Ryan, who was standing next to her, and put her hand on his shoulder. "My little brother. My pain-in-the-ass little brother, who dived into a flood like a boss and swam out to rescue a little kid who needed help. Ryan, I will never again say this in front of people, so you'd better enjoy it: you're a fantastic guy and I couldn't be prouder to be your sister."

A big cheer this time. Everyone had heard the story now and Ryan wasn't going to have to buy a drink all night -- and for once he was actually drinking. Drinking age in Ranu Ratu was 18 so technically he could have been doing this every night, but he always felt weird about consuming alcohol in front of his parents. It wasn't that they'd told him he couldn't, exactly, but the look of vague disappointment in his father's eyes when he'd asked about it was enough to steer him off. Tonight though, he was gonna get wildly, hideously, massively shitfaced, and he was gonna do it with his parents' blessing. His dad had told him before the party started that he'd earned the chance to go a little crazy. How could he pass that up? He spoke up and asked, "Is somebody recording this? I want a video of my sister saying something nice about me in public."

"Gotcha covered, buddy," Paul called from behind his phone, to general laughter.

"So what I was trying to say before I got so rudely interrupted," Kim resumed, "is that my mom and my brother are both wonderful people, so let's drink to Jess and Ryan!"

"To Jess and Ryan!" came the reply.

Alcohol was consumed. Time passed.

"I thought 18-year-olds usually graduated from high school, but you say you have a year left," a crane operator said over the top of his fifth double Jack. "So, what, you're just stupid or something?"

Ryan shook his head as he sipped his beer. "No, I missed the cutoff by a few days. I just turned 18, so I'll just be a normal senior. Thanks for asking, though, it was nice."

Alcohol was consumed. Time passed.

"So listen, Jess, I was thinking." The speaker was Trish Hendricks, a member of Der Frauen-Trinkclub from Boston, with the accent to prove it. She was deep into her third Long Island Iced Tea. "Your son's 18. Would you mind if I took him back to my room and screwed his brains out?"