That's Just Silly

Author's Note: I hope you'll enjoy this short cheesy story. I have no idea why I wrote it. It's just plain silly. But if you smile, even once, I'll be happy. Even if it's in a groaning-at-a-dad-joke kind of way.

Happy reading and welcome to the inaugural installment of That's Just Silly: The Cheese Edition!

-Roo

"Babe? You home?" [opening front door] "Where are you?"

"I'm in the kitchen!" (That's what cheese said.) "Why are you home early. You didn't get fired, did you? Or was Mr. Limburger in a good mood for once?"

"That asshole? Ha! Limburger always stinks." (That's what cheese said.)

"Then why are you home? Something wrong?"

"No, whey!" (That's what cheese said.) "Everything's grate!" (That's what cheese said.)

"Oh, yeah? You get a raise? A promotion?"

"Okay, so maybe I shouldn't have said grate." (That's what cheese said, again.) "If I'm honest, I'm kinda having a rough day. I just feel like I'm in a mouse trap." (That's what cheese said.) "Stuck in a wheel." (That's what cheese said.) "I'm tired of being a grown up. I don't like being mature." (That's what cheese said.)

"I thought things were going well."

"Yeah, I thought so, too. But it just got to me today; I hate being in a cube all day." (That's what cheese said.)

"You've always done that. Why's it bothering you now?"

"I don't know. I guess it just a-curd to me." (That's what cheese said.)

"I'm sorry to hear that, hon. Aw, poor baby. I wish you'd called first, to let me know you were coming home"

"Why? You're not getting some extra sausage on the side, are you?" (That's what cheese said.)

"Har har. No, I just like to look good for my man. I would've dolled myself up, maybe."

"Oh, baby. You always look glorious."

"Me? Glorious?" (That's what cheese said.) "Have you been drinking? I mean, I do look better with wine." (That's what cheese said.)

"No, babe. I mean it! You're every bit as sexy now as the day I met you!"

"Well... Good to hear I'm aging well." (That's what cheese said.)

"I'm glad one of us is. I'm just getting gray hair." [moping]

"Aw, I love your salt and pepper, Jack!" (That's what cheese said.) "It's the right kind of hot."

"True, true." [smiling] "I guess you make a good point. I am quite the dish, aren't I?" (That's what cheese said.)

"Hahaha. There's my man! See, I really do make everything better." (That's what cheese said.) "Okay. So, seriously, why are you home early? You didn't quit, did you?"

"No. To tell you the truth, I just couldn't stop thinking about you. I've been semi-hard, all day." (That's what cheese said.) "I'm so freakin' horny, I couldn't wait to get home."

"Oh, ho ho! Is that right? You want a slice of this?" (That's what cheese said.)

"You know I do! I'm so freakin' hard." (That's what cheese said.)

"Ooh, baby. Stop nibbling on me." (That's what cheese said.) "You're getting me all hot, too. Oh... Oh gawd, you're making turn all gooey inside." (That's what cheese said.)

"Good. Then it's working! Mmm. I could eat you up right now."

"Well.. what's stopping you? Enough of the sampling already. Eat me proper!" (That's what cheese said.)

"Mm, yes! I thought you'd never ask!" [dishes fly off table]

"Whoa! Slow down, cowboy! Why don't we go upstairs? Or at least unwrap me, first!" (That's what cheese said.)

"Oh, babe, I won't make it! I've been saving myself for you. I'm so close already, I'm about to cream!" (That's what cheese said.)

"In that case, just throw me on a plate and spread me!" (That's what cheese said.) "Come on! Give it to me, you big hunk!" (That's what cheese said.) "I just want you inside me... now! I'll let you go down on me later."

"Oh, Brie!" (That's what cheese said.)

"Oh, Jack!" (That's what cheese said.)

"I'm gonna pound you so hard." (That's what cheese said?)

"Oh yeah? You are, baby?... Well, that sounds fon...due me!" (That's what cheese...said.) "Mmm... You gonna fill me up?... You gonna fill my holes?" (That's what (Swiss) cheese said.)

"You know it, babe! Oh gawd... Yeah... Keep doing that... Keep playing with my balls." (That's what cheese said.) "Oh... Oh... I'm so close! Oh! I'm about to..."

"Quick! Pull out!"

"What?! But I'm so close!"

"Come in my mouth!"

"Really?! You want me in your mouth?" (That's what cheese said.) "Okay!"

"Mmm... Delicious... And you're so hard..." (That's what cheese said, yet again.) "Oh, and Damn I taste good!" (That's what cheese said.)

"Ugh... Keep going... I love you so much! Yeah... like that... Thank you! Oh... OH!... I so don't deserve you! Oh... Ung... That's it! I'm coming!"

[slurp... gag... slurp...]

"AGH.. OH... AHH... YES!... FUUUUUUUUUCK!!"

[releases, then pops out of mouth]

"Mmmm... Wow! I've always wanted to do that for you. You taste good, too."

"Oh my god, babe. You look so sexy right now. You've got some of me on your chin." (That's what cheese said.) "And I can't believe you swallowed me!" (That's what cheese said.)

"I take it you liked it?"

"Are you for real?! That was the best head ever!" (That's what cheese said.)

"Glad you were satisfied. But, uh... How 'bout we take this to the bedroom, now?"

[climbs stairs and collapses on bed]

"Are you falling asleep? Seriously?"

"Sorry babe. I'm shredded." (That's what cheese said.)

"Excuse me?"

"I mean it, babe. I'm smoked." (That's what cheese said.)

"Huh uh. I'm not done with you yet. Not by a long shot. I'll have you munching on me 'til midnight." (That's what cheese said.)

"Midnight?! It's only four in the afternoon! How'd I get roped into this?" (That's what cheese said.)

"Oh, please. Like you don't love how I taste." (That's what cheese said.) "Look, I even trimmed down there the way you like it. A perfect wedge." (That's what cheese said.)

"Wait... were you planning this all along? You couldn't have known I'd play hookie."

"Well, I am pretty sharp." (That's what cheese said.)

"Extra sharp, I'd say."

"Good boy. Flattery will get you everywhere. But stop talking. It's my turn now."

"But babe..."

"No arguments! Besides, I see your balls... You're still a little bleu." (That's what cheese said.)

"'kay... so?" (That's what cheese said.)

"So?! That's it! I'm tired of you stringing me along" (That's what cheese said.)

"No! Don't sit on my face!"

"Stop complaining and start making me happy! Ooh, yeah... just like that... Mmm... We need to do this more often... I love being on top." (That's what cheese said.) "Oh... yeah... Eat me!" (That's what cheese said.) "Mmm... yeah... You're so goud-ah!" (That's what cheese said.) "Oh... Oh! OH! I'm close! Yes... yes!... YES!, I'm coming!! It's soooooo gooouuuuud-ahhhhhh!" (That's what cheeeeeese saaaaaaiiiiiid!)

[out of breath, panting.]

"Oh, my gawd, that was so good, Jack." [purring]

"Well, not to brag but... I am the goat."

(That's what cheese said.)