The #1 MILF & the Mexican Surprise

Central's #1 MILF -- Second Summer

Fun Flock Big Cock Contest - El Cachalote

Reminders: The misadventures of the number one MILF and her friends reflect an over-the-top, comic-book style of erotic entertainment. No one advocates taking them too seriously. Please take the time to enjoy her origin stories and the first few parts of the contest. The whole thing hangs together better that way. Comments are most appreciated. Private messages, published comments, and constructive feedback are encouraged!

The Fun Flock Contest was initially written as one long story but is presented as a series of shorter ones so we can focus more on each contestant. If you can get there with me, the story builds to a very satisfying grand finale.

Also, any and all stereotyping is intentional and part of the fun. No offense meant to any groups -- particularly the women. We adore them.

Enjoy!

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Matt blindfolded Brayden in observance of the contest's planned safety precautions and drove the eighteen-year-old grocery boy, whose load was still sloshing around in Mrs. Burton's belly, back to 7-Eleven. The kid had been so disoriented and excited by his experience that he had still not bothered to put his huge erection away, so Matt had tossed him in the backseat so as not to be too close to him. His fervor for Mrs. Burton had left him in a similar state, but unlike his goofy passenger, Matt's hardon was much less impressive, and it also remained uncomfortably confined in his pants.

Matt found the kid's presence annoying for some reason, but he was grateful for the effect the kid's much larger wang had on the number one MILF. It had led to a terrific show. While he drove, Matt looked at the photos he had taken of Mrs. Burton sucking the lucky kid's dick back at the pool and found himself extraordinarily turned on and still quite jealous at the same time.

He had known Brayden in school. He was just a year younger. How did he get such a willing -- forget that -- enthusiastic blowjob from her? Don't answer that. He knew precisely how. Matt knew he'd do almost anything to have the number one MILF slopping all over his dick the way she had just sucked Brayden. Still, he also knew he lacked the dimensions necessary to activate her transformation from bitchy, standoffish control freak to horny, slutty, super-freak. After she was done, she even autographed his dick at the end, too. Jesus.

Matt parked his grandfather's minivan at the convenience store and couldn't get Brayden out of it fast enough, yanking him out of the vehicle and sending him stumbling off, trying to cover his exposed cock with his hands.

Alone again, he strolled in, still going through his phone as he wandered through the store to make himself a cola Slurpee. He'd gotten some truly amazing videos. He was particularly fond of the one where her eyes were bugging out as she was gagging on Brayden's dick, cumming in her mouth. The one where she was giggling and autographing his dick when she was done was fun too. Mrs. Burton amazed him.

His excited scrolling and frustrated ruminations were quickly broken by a text from the day's last finalist letting him know they had arrived outside the shop. Matt paid the Indian (or Middle Eastern?) convenience store clerk for his Slurpee and walked out into the heat. He saw two guys, one of whom must have been the next contestant, waiting in the parking lot next to their bicycles.

The two men were unmistakably migrant workers. It also seemed like a safe bet that they'd just completed a lot of grueling outdoor work. They were sweaty, dirty, and generally unkempt. Matt shook his head in disbelief at the sight of the disheveled pair. Had they really just rolled up on bikes and laid them down on the grass next to the store? He would need to check them out fast, figure out what was going on and get the info on his cue cards.

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Meanwhile, the ladies had been getting even tipsier down by the pool. They were gabbing away about jobs and bosses, shopping for shoes, and countless other things that annoyed them. Nicci felt more than a little tipsy. She was talking a mile a minute. "What's in these margaritas, Deena? I don't think I've had enough to eat today."

Brandi felt the same way, but she'd probably had twice as much to drink. She lit up a cigarette and took a puff. "Christ, Nicci," she said, "you should have seen how those two teenagers looked at you. It was like you were famous."

"She kind of is," Kaelan said matter-of-factly.

"I mean, like super famous. Like they were in awe."

Deena chimed in with a big grin, "Most women know her from building the Fun Flock from scratch. We all know how popular the group is. And men? The whole county is filled with fucking fanboys that look at her like that. All over the age of eighteen, of course."

Brandi went on, "And when he asked for your fucking autograph? And you walked over and signed his dick? You autographed his DICK!" She cackled madly, "Such a fucking boss move! You're my hero."

"Don't forget the smiley face!" Kaely giggled.

"I thought that was a fun touch," Nicci laughed.

Deena bellowed, "He won't take a shower for weeks!"

Nicci leaned forward with a mischievous look. "He won't want to jerk off either. I mean, he'll want to, but he won't. He'll have blue balls the whole time looking at his dick with my writing on it and not wanting it to rub off."

"You're so mean," Kaely chuckled, "but so right, too!"

Brandi was silent for a second while she formed her next thought. "I still want to know if he could suck his own dick. He looked like he could have."

Deena responded immediately, "If he did that now, he'd suck the smiley face right off!"

"It might take him some effort," Nicci opined. "It was a permanent marker."

All four of them snorted and giggled at the whole idea.

Once the din had died down, Brandi asked, "Speaking of that dick, Nic, how the hell did you get that whole thing in your mouth? I can't even imagine that, honestly."

Nicci shrugged.

"Seriously," Brandi prodded.

"Sometimes I can do it, and sometimes I can't," Nicci sighed. "Mike's around that same size, I guess, and I started practicing on him in my early twenties. I made it a project. We had a lot of fun working on it," she giggled at the memories. "Anyway, I either have to focus, like, really intensely on not gagging, or I just have to get lucky and lose my mind and not even know I did it until it's done."

"What happened with Brayden?"

Nicci smiled a thousand-watt smile at Brandi in response. "The second one, you bitch!"

Brandi nodded and smiled, "It still seems physically impossible. That thing was almost ten inches long. It must have to go halfway down your throat." She finished by shaking her head, struggling to make sense of the concept. She picked a banana from the table and said, "Like there's no way I could put this whole thing in my mouth at once and not choke. And his dick was longer and a fair bit fatter than this."

"When you put it like that, I see what you mean. It doesn't exactly make sense, but I guess dicks and fruit are different somehow," Nicci ruminated playfully. She winked at Kaely, "I just can't quite put my finger on what it could be."

She took a long drag on her Logic e-cig, blew a voluminous cloud of vapor into the air, then grabbed a handful of popcorn to munch. "Do we have a minute? I really need to pee." Before any of her friends could respond, Nicolle stood up suddenly and began a fast strut up to her house for a bathroom break. She called back over her shoulder, "Do my legs look cellulity? Be honest!"

All three of her friends looked admiringly at her smooth, perfectly toned legs carrying the avid runner away without a hint of cellulite. She looked nothing like the rest of them. The succulent round ass cheeks that flexed, raised, dropped, bounced, and ricocheted into each other at the top of those slender legs while she walked were a different story, however, and Deena told her so.

"Oh, I'm not worried about my ass," she said, with a wicked grin back at them as she traveled quickly up the steps. A lifetime of adulation for that particularly curvy part of her body had left her well aware of its power and perfection just the way it was. A few well-placed dimples were part of the fun.

She hustled into her house and slowly peed a thimbleful of liquid into the toilet while scrolling through her phone. She checked her look in the bathroom mirror and still felt she looked great. Even the over-the-top tiara was fun. She was back down with her friends in a few minutes, talking a blue streak as they awaited the next idiot subjecting his manhood for their evaluation.

In no time, Matt was escorting two newcomers down the steps.

"Judges," he said, "Our last contestant today is named Hector, but he is better known to his friends around town as 'El Cachalote.' He is forty-eight years old. He is a day laborer and an illegal immigrant, and he asks that you please not call ICE on him because he does not want to be deported. He doesn't speak English, so he brought a friend with him to interpret."

The girls looked at each other with raised eyebrows and slight unease.

"Shit," Nicci commented to her friends, "I feel like I've seen these guys landscaping in the neighborhood at some point - coming out the backs of those trailers and riding around on their mowers. I might have even used them for weeding at some point. I can't even remember!"

"How were we supposed to know, Nicci? All we saw were the dick pics. There wasn't any, like, way to know who the dicks belonged to," Brandi opined drunkenly to a chorus of giggles.

While the four women continued to kibbitz regarding the odd nature of the day's final contestant and his interpreter, Hector removed his backpack and talked in Spanish to his friend. Unzipping his bag, he removed a scale and a towel. Then he stood there expectantly while he observed the four friends clustered around a table loaded with food and drinks. His stained t-shirt stretched tightly around his paunchy beer belly. He looked particularly carefully at Nicolle, in her expensive sunglasses and skimpy bathing suit, with her glimmering tiara in her hair.

"Ella es una estrella de cine?" he gruffly asked his friend, pointing at the MILF goddess.

Cachalote's friend cleared his throat before translating, "He wants to know if you are a movie star."

Deena guffawed. Brandi spit some wine out of her mouth in laughter. Nicci was relieved that these guys didn't seem to recognize her because that also probably meant they hadn't worked in the neighborhood or been hired by her to do some random manual labor. She smiled at her friends, pushed her knees together, cocked her shoulders, and batted her eyelashes playfully. It was clear to the Mexican from the ladies' reactions that his guess at Nicci's profession was incorrect.

"Que tal una estrella del porno?" the stubby Mexican asked next.

"How about a porn star then?" his friend translated.

Louder laughter ensued from Nicolle's friends, and she frowned at them this time. That wasn't the look she was going for. Hot mom, yes. Porn star, no.

"Still no, but that's a lot closer!" Deena bellowed.

Nicci looked at her friends for a moment with concern. "Not, like, a bad porn star, though, right? I mean, I'm not going for the porn star look."

Brandi said, "No, more like the porn star next door that doesn't look like a porn star, but that's exactly why she's so popular."

Kaely echoed, "Right, you certainly don't look cheap if that's what you mean."

"No, not cheap at all! Very fucking expensive," Deena laughed. "Seriously, no, you look amazing. Just very fuckable. Like a spectacularly sexy soccer mom that looks ten years younger than her age...."

"...just the kind that would make a viral porn star," Brandi finished to a round of laughter.

Nicci joined them, "Okay, guys, I get it. Whatever."

Kaely finished the thought, "Look, Megan Fox doesn't look like a porn star, but she totally looks like a porn star, you know what I mean?"

Nicci brightened visibly. "Oh, I kind of like that one! Let's stop right there."

The two Mexicans looked at the laughing ladies as they were drinking and chattering away with curiosity and confusion. After a few more moments of playful banter among the ladies, Kaelan finally returned their attention to them, "What's 'El Cachalote' or whatever mean, translator? And what's your name?"

The translator cleared his throat. He replied, "Lady judges, the word cachalote is Spanish for 'sperm whale.'"

The four friends burst out in laughter again. They were drunk and rowdy.

"And my name is Javi," he finished.

"Sperm whale?" Brandi asked incredulously to the other three over their continued uncontrolled giggling. "Because he's fat?"

Hector was unfazed. The stocky, stubby Mexican ignored the ladies' laughter and began unzipping his pants.

He moved next to the scale while reaching into his pants, fumbling around a bit before hauling a large, fleshy mound out from his dirty jeans and dropping it heavily on the scale.

Nicolle and her friends were silenced for a moment as they watched his movements and peered curiously at the doughy mass he had placed on the scale. Kaelan wrinkled her nose, looking a little disgusted. Nic lowered her sunglasses, trying to determine precisely what was on the scale.

"That scale is a good idea!" Deena said with interest. "Kaely, go see what it says. And measure him, too."

Kaelan got up dutifully and walked the few strides over to the two Mexicans. As she got closer, she said, "Oh my goodness!" with a hint of disgust. The cock and balls of Cachalote were draped over the scale like a lumpy, flesh bean bag.

"Where do I...measure...it?" Kaelan asked.

"How much does it weigh?" Deena called out. "Is he hard?"

"I'm fucking checking, Deena!" Kaelan replied while she carefully leaned in to check the scale's reading. "Oh, shit!" she exclaimed as she got close enough to the stout illegal to see the details of his package. "His cock is fat as fuck! Ewwwwww! It's like a mushy can of Coke!"

The ladies perked up and cackled in a mixture of morbid curiosity and excitement. Cachalote smiled proudly.

What does the scale say, Kaelan? Focus!" Deena laughed.

"Oh, yeah, it says five pounds."

"Five pounds?" Nicci looked at her girlfriend with raised eyebrows. "Like a whole fucking bag of sugar?" She and Brandi leaned back on the couch, giggling uncontrollably in their drunkenness. Brandi was snorting and spilling her drink, and Nic's big boobs bounced around wildly while she clapped her hands in laughter, and Deena watched them happily.

"Is he hard?" Deena asked Kaelan again amid the din. She then turned her attention to the interpreter. "Ask him if he's ready to get measured!"

Hector's friend asked him, and he shook his head vigorously in the negative. "Parece que soy dura?"

"He said, 'Does it look like I am hard'?"

Cachalote unbent his knees, stepped back from the scale and lifted his pile of flesh from it. It flopped heavily in front of him, and the vast thickness of his dick was made clear as it nestled in an extra-large sack of balls.

He pointed to Nicolle. "Necesito que la estrella porno venga aquí."

The interpreter cleared his throat and nodded toward Nicci. "He said he needs the porn star to come over here."

"I'm not a porn star!" Nicolle yelled indignantly.

Deena and the others laughed. The interpreter relayed the message. Hector shrugged.

"Ella parece una Estrella del porno."

"What did he say?" Deena asked.

"He said she looks like a porn star."

"What...EVER!" Nicci yelled indignantly and stood up with her juicy ass and huge rack shaking due to her sudden movement.

"Oh!" she said abruptly to her friends. "Head rush!" and began giggling again as she placed one hand gently on her tiara to steady herself.

Cachalote elbowed his friend as they gazed lewdly at the impressive Nicci in her yellow one-piece. The legs were cut high, making the petite blonde's shapely legs look longer. The thong between her cheeks exposed her curvy ass all the way up to the small of her back. The deep V in front covered her heavy breasts so ineffectively that half her areolae were exposed. She tried to adjust the front of her suit for a moment but gave up quickly.

"Dios, mira lo caliente que se ve esta puta americana," Cachalote said to his friend.

"What did he say?" Nicci asked suspiciously.

Deciding it would be best not to tell her, Hector had asked him if he could believe how hot the American slut looked. Javi instead replied, "Um, he said you are very beautiful."

"Oh, thank you," she smiled. Nicci could see the Mexican's fat cock swelling as he stared at her.

"Kaely, you were right!" she said to her friend, who was still standing next to the migrant workers, "It's so fat!"

As the sexy Nicci stood in her outrageous bathing suit and shining tiara, sounding so stupid, Cachalote got excited. "Ven aquí, tonta puta."

"He asks that you please come closer," his friend again half-translated, deciding to leave out the 'dumb slut' part.

Nicolle looked at Deena and Brandi, who were both encouraging her. The MILF shrugged and strutted over to about two feet away from the stumpy Mexican. The goddess and the fat Mexican were around the same height. Hector could smell the combination of perfume, tanning oil, and alcohol on Nicolle, and his dick kept swelling while he watched her, and she watched it like it had a life of its own.

"Te gusta mi polla gorda, perra rica?"

Nicolle looked at the interpreter expectantly.

"He wants to know if you like his fat cock," the interpreter offered, unable to soften the language this time.

She giggled, "Well, I don't mind it...it's...so...chubby."

Hector understood her words without help and nodded smugly at her.

"Kaelan," Nicci said to her nearby friend. "Look at it! It's like one of those Jimmy Dean breakfast sausages you buy from the store."

Deena sighed, a little tired of the banter. "Is he hard yet?"

"Not yet," Javi stated quickly.

"Well, get him going, Nic!" Deena hollered. "Shit! What are we waiting for?"

Nicolle rolled her eyes at Deena's insistence. "Oh, I'm SO sorry, Deena. I mean, I've already given a handjob and a blowjob today, have I not? I swallowed the last guy's whole fucking load less than an hour ago! What have you done? Or anyone else? Why is it all on me?"

Nicci shook her sexy tiara-adorned head at her sloppy friend sitting there with a handful of Doritos in one hand and a Sam Adams in the other. She held a fast inner dialogue. Why was this on her? She knew the answer immediately. Who was she kidding? She knew she impacted men in ways the other Flockers just didn't -- especially Deena. She tried to remind herself it was all in fun. Hell, she had stopped looking at Deena halfway through her inner dialogue to eyeball Cachalote's stubby, fire hydrant wang anyway. She couldn't help herself.

"Deena," she said, still staring directly at the overweight Mexican's exceptionally thick, stubby dick, "why do you even care if they're totally hard for this stupid contest? Isn't that on them?"

The big lesbian replied, "How will we know which is the biggest if they aren't all hard when we measure 'em?"

Nicci was so bright and successful in both her life and her career. But, her inebriation, girlfriend vibes, and raging hormones from being around so much dick - including the lump of chunky, brown cock meat in front of her - left her unable to form any better response to her friend's nonsense logic than to shrug and say, "I guess you have a point."

Brandi chimed in drunkenly, "Plus, Nicci, come on! We're partying! What else are we here for? You know we all want to see 'em!"

Nicci looked back at the enthusiastic, sloshed Brandi, knowing she was at least kind of right and also like she didn't want to let her friends down. Keeping a few feet of distance between them, the reluctant but horny MILF sighed in resignation to the horny obsession she and her friends shared. She got down on her knees and looked up at the oddball Cachalote mischievously.