The #1 MILF & the Retired Porn Star

Central's #1 MILF - Second Summer

Fun Flock Big Cock Contest - Jacky Wadd

Text messages flew back and forth among the four Fun Flock leaders over the weekend. More than a thousand women loved the Flock, bought merchandise with the rooster logo, and lived the brand of raucous female empowerment, but Nicci, Deena, Kaelan, and Brandi were the ones who ran the whole thing. They had been friends for years, mainly through the Facebook group.

The messages flew so quickly that it was hard to tell who was saying what.

'Girls, that was so crazy.'

'Brandi, did you even wake up yet? R U Hung over?'

'Not until almost noon! Haven't been fucked like that in twenty years. I gave Pete the best 2 minutes of his life six months ago, and we might not do it again until his birthday!'

'Can we be done with this stupid contest yet, you guys?'

'No way! This is too much fun!'

'We need to finish! Two more idiots are dying to have us judge their dicks! LOL'

'Maybe we'll get lucky again!'

'That's all you then; I'm out.'

'Yeah, right, Nicci, you're never out.'

'I feel bad, tho. What about Mike?'

'You love him to death!'

'I know, but....'

'These guys are total nobodies. Think of it as a Fun Flock thing.'

'I guess,'

'Did anyone get Dre's number? LOL' Eggplant emojis.

'Matt has them all, but the rules are no contact after the contest.'

'That's good.'

'We have an NDA too. It goes both ways.'

'Safer that way.'

'Totally'

'So, what are you guys gonna wear next week?'

'Sweats'

'Yeah, right!'

'Bullshit!'

Grinning emoji. Crying laughing emoji. Angel emoji. Devil emoji

Nicci felt ready to be done with this whole zany enterprise. Round two last Friday had been beyond insane, but she knew her friends were having the time of their lives. She decided not to let them down but again promised herself not to participate.

The weekend turned into Monday, the work week came around, and the mood of the MILF began to shift. Her life was consumed with work calls, Zoom meetings, making dinner, and doing laundry. She knew it was terrible, but she began to look forward to another unpredictable day with her crazy friends. What could it hurt?

__________

At the other end of the neighborhood, Matt fretted in his room. Between his multiple daily masturbation sessions, he busied himself turning all the photos and videos he'd taken of Nicci's interactions with the different contestants into better videos and full-size posters. The amazing MILF and her ridiculous, real-life sex appeal dominated his imagination and fantasies. He kicked himself continually for not being more aggressive when that goofy Indian had her knees pinned back and was fucking her face. She was wide open and helpless, and all he had thought to do was eat her out a little? And she hadn't even noticed? He should have seized the moment and pounded the shit out of her—what a wasted opportunity.

Then he'd look at one of the new posters on his wall of her licking that football player's balls or sucking that kid from ShopRite's dick, and he'd happily jerk off despite his pangs of jealousy and calm down for a few hours.

But, as the week went on and Friday got closer, he felt increasingly depressed. The remaining contestants sounded like a disaster - a dwarf and some ancient porn star from the '70s. From the looks of things, and the measurements of all the morons that had appeared in this freak show to date, there was basically no chance the contest would meet its goal. "Find me a dick as big as Dork's, and we'll talk," had been the phrase that sparked Matt's creativity and launched this whole crazy contest. When he'd gotten in touch with her nutty Fun Flock friends, Deena seemed to interpret that as a mission statement, and she told Matt that he would have another shot at whatever he wanted with Nicci if he could make it happen.

He sighed. He had given it everything he had, but he knew full well that Dork was unique. On Sunday night, in desperation, he had Snapped his friend, hoping he could fly back and visit to help him with this mess. No luck. Without Dork or a deformity like the one his friend had between his legs; he knew Mrs. Burton was going to blow him off for the last time - not in a good way. 'Oh well,' he thought. At least Friday would be another good photo opportunity and one last hurrah. The #1 MILF might not want to play along, but whenever she was involved, something crazy happened, and it was better to watch than just be sitting in his room fantasizing.

Nicci was continually amazed at how busy and exhausting most days were for her. She was early to bed, early to rise. She could spend a considerable chunk of the day just cleaning and puttering and running around; by the time she knew it, it was time to go to bed. Kaely had said she wanted to join her for coffee Sunday. Maybe she could talk her into joining her for grocery shopping, and at least she'd get some help with that for a change. Couldn't anyone else in the house ever do these things? Why did it always fall on her?

On Tuesday, Nicci took a break from Zoom meetings and sales calls and went out at lunchtime for her bi-weekly manicure and pedicure. She was excited because it was something she did just for herself. She enjoyed the pampering and the relaxation. In the summertime, her preference was for bolder, brighter colors on her nails, so a metallic gold was going on her toenails, and a bright, glittery pink was going on her fingernails. She felt like the gold would be a great combination to her tanned legs and feet, and in her mind, nothing spelled 'fun and flirty' better than Barbie-pink glitter.

Having chosen her colors and completed the manicure, she sat in an oversized massage chair, admiring her new fingernail polish and scrolling through funny videos on her phone. The crowded salon was bustling with many other mostly privileged women receiving services from mostly much less privileged women. The dynamic made her vaguely uncomfortable, but not enough to forego these services. She was a proponent of female empowerment, uplifting women of all types and leaving big tips wherever possible. Even in casual clothes and in a setting like this, however, Nicolle stood out to most of the other women as the ideal of what they would prefer to look like if only they could.

Her favorite technicican, Mary, was massaging her feet, soaking them in the spa tub, and prepping them for the polish. Her already-perfect toes and feet were about to be made even more perfect, and she was quite pleased because prissy perfection was basically her thing.

Amid her self-indulgent relaxation, out of the corner of her eye, she saw a familiar face near the main desk in front. A bowling ball of an unkempt Mexican was talking to the hostess and delivering a bag of food to her. It was lunchtime, and it looked like the hostess and a few others were ready to eat. Nicci slid down in her chair, hoping he might leave quickly to make more deliveries and she could avoid his notice.

But he didn't. He stood there shooting the shit with the hostess for another few minutes in his stained t-shirt, seemingly unconcerned with his appearance. He appeared to be waving and pointing or something, but Nicci was determined not to make eye contact. He reached into the pocket of his work jeans, handed something to the hostess, and continued talking for a bit before finally leaving the salon.

Nicolle straightened back up with a sense of relief. Closing her eyes, she leaned back and daydreamed about a weekend cruise she and her husband had planned for their anniversary in a few months. Lost in her relaxing daydream, she didn't notice the hostess walk over to chat briefly with Mary.

The sensual massage of her calves and feet continued for a few more minutes, and when it was completed, Mary's comment interrupted the MILF's thoughts. "I'm surprised you know Cachalote," she said.

'Who?" Nicci asked, feigning ignorance as her eyelids fluttered open.

"That man who was just here. He just paid for all your services today. You must know him, no?"

"Oh, I don't know who you mean, Mary. What man? I hadn't noticed anyone," the MILF lied. "But, how very nice of him!"

Mary looked up at Nicci's stunning face, shook her head almost imperceptibly, then grabbed a towel and began drying her client's perfect feet, slender ankles, and shapely calves.

As Nicci leaned her head back and closed her eyes again, Mary said quietly, "Cachalote cums a fucking boatload, doesn't he?"

Nicci burst out laughing with her eyes still closed, and the two women knew they did not need to discuss it further.

Kaely hopped out of her car at Nicci's house on Sunday, wearing a long summer dress with spaghetti straps. She had arrived a little before nine to join her friend for coffee, just as they'd planned. The two sat outside on Nicci's elegantly decorated back deck and sipped together while they caught up. They had a great view of the pool from the elevated deck, and it all felt very charming.

After the usual nonsense, bullshitting, and complaining, Nicci said, "You look great today. Is that dress new? I love the print."

Kaely was flattered. "Thanks, Nic! I didn't want to look like a slob next to you. I even put some makeup on today," she smiled. "I got it at Target. I think it's great. I like flowing stuff like this. My legs aren't quite as spectacular as yours."

"Don't be ridiculous," Nicci said, "you look incredible. And super flattering up top."

Nicci asked, "Hey, want to come grocery shopping with me? I'd love the company. Gotta leave in around fifteen minutes, and I'm not done gossiping."

Kaely smiled at her girlfriend and said, "Why do you think I'm here? I don't think I've ever looked forward to grocery shopping this much!"

Nicci looked over at her friend with a questioning look.

"Really? Why?"

"Oh, shut up, Nicci. You know I've been dying to see whether that kid can do it!"

The addled mom replied, "See if what kid can do what?"

Kaelan laughed heartily. "I guess my mind isn't as clean as yours, lady. I want to see if that kid, Brayden, can suck his own dick! Can't stop thinking about it."

Nicci leaned in with a conspiratorial grin, "Oh, Jesus Christ, you're so crazy! You and Brandi are so funny with that!"

"I know, right? She said if he can do it, she wants a picture! And I said 'okay'!"

Nicci, sighed and said, "Kaely, I like to keep these guys at arm's length. Take it from me. Guys like this kid you want to see again so badly, you open the door to them, and it can be hard to get it closed again. Know what I mean?"

Kaely nodded knowingly, but she either didn't get what Nicci was saying at all, or she didn't care. Excitedly, she asked, "Ready to go?"

Nicolle shook her head in amusement at her friend's enthusiasm and took a quick inventory of herself. She was barefoot, wearing some sleep shorts and a loose tank top with no bra. Her breasts and nipples were so prominent that they were visible behind the thin cotton of her top. "Let me go get changed and get my shit together. You look so nice, and I look like I just rolled out of bed. We'll leave in like fifteen minutes."

Kaelan enjoyed the rest of her coffee and the morning air. It hadn't yet gotten oppressively hot as it would be in a few hours. The best time to be outside was right at that moment. Before she knew it, the sliding doors opened, and Nicci popped her head out. "Let's go buy some food," she said.

Kaely hopped up, leaving her mug on the coffee table outside, and followed her friend out of the house and into the driveway.

Nicci was wearing a pair of jean shorts that hugged her round butt firmly, with about an inch of her cheeks popping out the bottom, a camo green Adidas baseball cap, and a tight, white t-shirt with the words 'I heart Johnson' in blue letters with a big red heart across her ample chest. Her pretty feet had toenails painted metallic red, and she wore a new pair of Tory Burch flip-flops.

"Oh my God, Nicci, you look mouth-watering," Kaely said as she watched the bouncing ass show as she trailed behind her sexy friend. "And I can't get over your shirt! Where'd you get it?"

"Lucky Brand! It's a Johnson Motors shirt. Mike got it for me. Isn't it hysterical?"

"I mean, the double meaning is kind of spot on! He certainly knows you well," Kaely laughed, "And your chest looks huge in it, too. Like some UCLA cheerleader going to a beach bonfire. I'm not sure how you pull it off...."

Nicci said, "Thanks, doll! You look great too!" Given your plans, I thought this outfit might help. We'll take Mike's Suburban for this trip rather than my BMW," Nicci giggled. She was weaving her blonde hair into a French braid and pulling it down in front of her left shoulder while they walked. "It will give our little buddy someplace more private when you ask him to do your trick."

They climbed into the huge truck and drove to Nicci's new grocery store, Stop n' Shop. On the way there, the gossip continued. At one point, at the end of some banter they had exchanged about how much traffic there was in town these days, Kaely leaned over and touched Nicci on the leg.

"I'm so glad it's not, like, weird or anything after the other day," Kaely said to her hot friend.

Nicci glanced at her briefly before the light changed, and she resumed driving.

"Weird?" She asked with a smile. "What other day?"

"You know...with Dre."

"Dre? Who's...oh wait, that stupid football player? Why would it be weird?"

"Nicci, we kissed! We don't do that. We're not lesbians."

Nicci laughed and smiled as she drove to the store. "Kaely, you were riding his dick and I was sitting on his face! We were looking right at each other while you fucked him, and he ate me out. Our faces were, like, right there - a few inches apart. It would have been weird NOT to kiss!"

Nicci shook her head and rolled her eyes while Kaelan nodded in agreement with her girlfriend's slutty logic.

"Well, still," she concluded happily. "I'm glad it's not weird."

Then she laughed and turned up the music on the radio as they drove to the grocery store.

Shopping was the usual experience. It took longer than it should have. Why? Because two women stopped Nicci to gush about how much they loved her and how the Fun Flock was the one thing they looked forward to in their lives. Because one old man followed too closely down the aisle behind the two ladies, and Nicci gave him an earful. Because the manager stopped by to chat Nicci up and blather on about how appreciative the store was to have her business and to please let him know personally if there was anything she needed. Because the men at the deli counter fucked up her order repeatedly to give themselves a little more time to ogle her. And because she slow-walked down one aisle, bending, and reaching for items she pretended to need just to give a fortunate father and son duo, who she said looked 'sweet' but had obviously been stalking them lustfully, a show they'd remember for quite some time.

By the time they reached the checkout line, Brayden was hovering excitedly and made a beeline to the register the ladies had chosen. He wordlessly bagged Nic's groceries, stealing repeated glances at the number one MILF as he did so. Nicci slipped her card into the reader, paid the nearly $250, and raised her eyebrow at him snidely, saying, "Well, that was so easy. Not the least bit confusing."

Brayden's voice cracked, but he powered through and asked, "May I help to your car, ma'am?"

Nicci smiled, "Oh, I'm not sure we need that. I think we're probably fine. What do you think, Kaely?"

Kaely had an excited look on her face. Playing it cool was Nicci's gift, not hers. "Oh, let him. It's so nice to have good service nowadays!"

Nicci smirked at the two of them. To Brayden, she said, "Let me go first, so I can show you where I'm parked. You'll push the cart, yes?"

The boy nodded and swallowed hard.

"Follow me," Nicci sang pleasantly. Her shorts had ridden up about as far as possible by that point, and of course, she'd done nothing during the entire shopping trip to pull them down and try for more coverage of her plump, perfect cheeks. She walked in front of the poor boy the entire distance to the Suburban at the far end of the lot. She and Kaely had parked as far away from the store as possible. So, by the time the three of them got to the truck, walking had become quite a painful chore for Brayden. Watching Nicci's smooth legs and her juicy ass bouncing in those stupid, daisy dukes the whole trek had made him as hard as a rock.

Nicci unlocked the big truck, raised the liftgate with the push of a button, and walked past the cavernous storage space toward the front of the vehicle.

"He's all yours, Kaely," she giggled as she climbed into the driver's seat, shut the door, and rolled down the windows. She was proud that she hadn't looked at the kid's bulge once.

Kaely, on the other hand, was not nearly as judicious with her gaze. She smiled like the Cheshire Cat at the boy and his discomfort.

Nicci remembered an important part of their plan. "Brayden, I know I just opened the trunk, but put the groceries in the backseat today, please."

He looked confused but immediately began doing as she asked.

While he loaded the truck with their groceries, Kaelan said, "Hey, how have you been?"

"I've been doing good," he said, fidgeting in discomfort at how his huge boner was bent in his pants. "You were one of the judges, weren't you? I know I'm not supposed to talk about it. Sorry."

Kaely smirked at him. "It's okay. You can talk about it with us. Only us though. Now, just get that stupid thing out already. It's obviously uncomfortable. And, yes, I was one of the judges."

He put the last two reusable bags in the backseat and closed the door. "Get it...out in the parking lot here?" the boy looked thrilled and uncertain all at once. "I don't know..."

"Come on," Kaely cajoled, "Let it loose. I can see it's bothering you."

"Yeah, because of Mrs. Burton!"

Nicci rolled her eyes as she sat in the front seat of the big truck. Was it her fault he couldn't control his hormones? Her fault he could only think with his dick? The stupid monkeys always blamed her. Why wasn't it their problem?

Kaelan was happy to be empathetic. "I know, I know. It must be excruciating to be teased like that. I mean, those shorts don't fit her at all, do they? She's so bad with those cheeks sticking out! Plus, those legs? She's basically perfect. And did you see her shirt? It's bad enough that it was so tight across her big boobs, but that graphic? She loves 'Johnson'? Come on! It's almost like she wore it to tease you...know what I mean?

Brayden groaned at the thought and rubbed the prominent lump in his pants.

"If you get it out, you never know what might happen," Kaely suggested.

Nicci didn't like where this was going.

Kaely could see his continued reluctance. She leaned toward him, put her hand on his shoulder, and whispered in his ear. "I can probably talk her into giving you another blowjob. I mean, she's my best friend. You'd like another one of her blowjobs, wouldn't you?"

Brayden thought about it for a second. He figured the tattooed woman with the arm sleeve tattoo was right. He'd be one step closer to heaven with his dick out. He unzipped and fished into his pants with a grimace as he wrangled his gigantic erection toward the opening of his fly.

Suddenly it sprang out of his pants at full length like it was popping out of a jack-in-the-box.

"Yee-HAW!" Kaely giggled as her eyes got as big as saucers, and she stuck out her tongue zanily, displaying her tongue ring. "There we go," she clapped her hands gleefully.

The woman, who also had a shimmering nose ring, stared quite happily in her summer dress at the incongruity of the otherwise slight teenager and his gigantic penis.