The Agent

"Hello," he boomed. "I shall keep this meeting short and simple, but as you well know I usually don't do meetings like this. This means I have an important plan in play."

"You mean you need to get the funding," a man asked.

Alfonso put his briefcase on the table and started opening it. "Yes and it could make your lives a whole lot easier. Ever wondered how easy our lives would be if the police, NSA, CIA basically the whole government didn't know every crime families in the U.S. ever existed? How invisible you all could become without having any consequences of crimes ever committed? It's fucking heaven on earth."

"Oh, spit it out already," the middle-aged woman suddenly said. Alfonso ignored her and continued. "We're all business men and women and like any business tycoons we don't like our operations to be disturbed.This is why I'm in front of you tonight. My friends, I want you to see this," he held up a small silver USB in his hand for everyone to see," the Trojan Horse. Now, I know what're you're thinking. Alfonso has lost his mind, but this is a masterpiece."

"This, my friends, is our independence. The biggest supervirus this country has ever seen. What it does is it infects all branches' computer software of the Military. All information they ever received, soft copies of everything they stored there will all be erased beyond recognition with 0% guarantee of getting any of those information back. Nuclear codes, every criminal activities ever recorded for the last hundred years, everything they have ever stored digitally will be wiped gone...and will be on our hands."

"But this is just the beginning," Alfonso grinned as he put the object on the table. "This right here is just a prototype. The world today is a digital one and we're just a click away of stealing money from every American citizens' bank account. We could do so much with this, but all I ask of you is support."

Silence.

The men and women around the table looked nervously and greedily at one another. "I have to ask," one man said," how did you develop this?"

"Not me, sir," Alfonso laughed. "I'm just a mere businessman. Tell me, have you heard of a secret organisation called the Agency?"

Oh fuck, I thought to myself. The man shook his head.

"I didn't expect you to. You see, this 'Agency' is the most powerful branch in the military, even a lot more superior than the NSA and CIA. More importantly, it has the country's powerful surveillance program it has ever seen yet only a handful of people know it exist. It knows basically everything about anything, but we know nothing about it. Until I met someone who got us in."

"What is he talking about?" Carrie whispered in my ear.

"I have a mole in the Agency," Alfonso continued," and they along with other programmers across the country helped me create this masterpiece. Without this individual, the Trojan Horse project would have been an idea, but thanks to them it will be our reality."

- - - - - - - -

"Man, this is fucking big," Carrie exclaimed as she took a sip of her coffee. "If this is true, then our whole country is in big trouble." I turned my head towards her way while laying on my bed. It has been an hour and a half since I got back from Navy Pier. Getting in was easier than getting out due to multiple gang members belonging to different crime families being so close on site after the meeting. "At least you put a tracker on Alfonso."

"At least I put a tracker on Alfonso," I repeated. "He can't get away from us even if he tried. I should've killed him right there, Carrie. If I had my way, he would've been dead by now."

Carrie looked at me sharply. Still wearing her short shorts and oversized T-shirt, she walked over and sat at the edge of my bed with her back facing me. "Agent," she began to say, "I know you're not the personal type. Like I said before, I've read your profile by heart and I know each and every operation you've been involved in. But I also read the incident that happened two years ago with you and your partner-"

"No," I snapped. "Carrie-"

"Jason, right? Agent 33," she continued. "I've read the gruesome report and if I were to be in your shoes, I would take this personally. I know, agent. His death anniversary is today and your nightmares, you waking up in the middle of the night, it all make sense. You want your revenge, but we both know you can't do this alone. So, please, let me help you. Let me be your friend." She turned her body around and her worried green eyes met mine. 

At that moment, I felt a sense of peace. There was no Alfonso, Jason, nor the Agency. Just Carrie and I. I wanted to hug her badly, not only for comfort but for something else that I can't describe. Longing? Lust? Love? A storm of confusion rushed through my mind, but I knew at the eye of that storm I was falling for this beautiful woman.

The thought of me falling for another person seemed impossible, not because she's a woman but because...well, I'm falling for another human being. I have never been in love nor sexually and physically attracted to another human being, and the thought that I am starting to scares me.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if I wanted to explore this or reject this fully, but I knew we wouldn't work one way or another. Not because of her, but mostly because of me. You would always choose the Agency above all else, I thought to myself. Duty above all else. Besides, I knew she was attracted to the guy next door. Either way, I didn't stand a chance.

"I'm turning in," I mumbled. "Get up and let me sleep." Carrie continued on staring at me as if trying to get inside my head. The edge of her mouth slightly turned downwards, but she regained her composure quickly. "Alrighty," she chirped. "I'll just be at my bed tracking some people down. Goodnight, agent."

Silently, I turned off the lampshade without replying.

- - - - - - - -

I woke and sat up an hour later gasping for air with my gun in hand. Of course, I was aiming the gun at nothing. My dream tonight was more intense than the previous ones I had. It was extremely lucid and bloody. My body shuddered as the droplets of sweat on my skin and tank top made contact with the room's lukewarm air. I wiped the sweat off my face with the back of my hand, but realised they were tears. Have I been crying in my sleep? That's the first time, I thought to myself.

A tear rolled down my cheek. Then another.

And another. I didn't lower the gun. It was still aiming at the television at the opposite side of my bed. Another year of Jason's death anniversary, I thought to myself. Another year where Alfonso is still alive. I should feel lucky knowing I lived when I could've died three years ago, but ever since that day, I've felt responsible for his death. You should've killed Alfonso when you had the chance, I thought to myself. Until then, closure won't come.

I felt my bed tremble and a delicate feminine hand slowly stroked the length of my arm. It glided down and stopped where my hand held my gun. It grabbed the gun and put it on the side table. At the corner of my eye, Carrie's eyes shimmered as the moonlight outlined her face. She scooted closer to me as slid between the covers. I turned my face towards hers and started to open my mouth.

"Don't talk, Pamela," Carrie whispered in the dark. "Just try to sleep." She commanded me to lay down on my back, which I did without hesitation. She wrapped her arm around my head and the other around my torso and pulled me close. "I know you're tired," she whispered. I am, I thought to myself. She pulled me even closer until my forehead made contact with her clavicle. I surrendered in her embrace and a sense of peace surge through my body again.

It wasn't necessarily sexual, but for me it was the best human contact I've ever had. The softness of her skin on mine, hearing her heartbeat and breathing slowly, her chest on mine, I felt like I was in heaven. I felt myself snuggling to her more as my arms desperately tried to pull her close. My eyelids got heavier and heavier.

I slept soundly and dreamlessly afterwards.

- - - - - - - - -

I felt a little awkward when Carrie and I ate brunch at the diner together. She was her usual self, but I felt a little off. All morning, I've been trying to ignore the fact that I snuggled with her, but the more I did the more tense and awkward I got.

Carrie was up to date with Alfonso's location and tracked his every movement for the past hours. There I was in front of her eating slowly while studying her face again. She was in deep thought, swiping her hand left and right on her iPad with her eyes glued on the screen. Her eyebrows narrowed together and her lips formed a small frown. She's tense, I thought to myself. She barely ate something off her plate.

"Any news?" I asked as Carrie jumped from the sound of my voice. "Your eyes look like they're gonna fall off any second now."

"Sorry," she said sheepishly. "Alfonso was moving a lot for the past couple of hours and I've been tailing him closely. He must be really serious about this Trojan Horse program. Anyway, I hacked in every cameras he's ever passed and pinpointed every place he stopped," she showed the iPad to me. "You see those red dots on the map? Those were the places he's been."

Damn, I thought to myself. I counted at least thirteen different landmarks. "He's recruiting more gang leaders," I concluded. "These landmarks are in shady neighborhoods."

"Yea, but there's one place he's been multiple times in-between trips," Carrie continued. " Lake Point Tower. It's a residential building and I'm pretty sure Alfonso has a condo there. I've hacked into their security system and let me tell you, Alfonso has his own army in there."

Alfonso has his way of luring people in. Bribery, threats, you name it. If he wanted someone killed, all he needed to do is snap his fingers and someone will do the killing for him. "From what I found out, Alfonso left Chicago around 7 A.M. and will attempt to make contact with different gangs across the country. Don't panic, in this stage all he can do is recruit. Trying to make a program like Trojan Horse will take weeks, maybe even months to make. He will come back in one month. Plus, during that time I can maybe narrow down the list of the possible moles."

"I have to go in there," I told her as I gave the iPad back. "Snoop around his condo and maybe I can find clues on who this mole is. I'm pretty sure he has the prototype on him at all times, but if we find this mole first, at least his connection is cut off from the Agency and have our own hackers cut off the other programmers. First priority, we need the find the mole."

And if I just decided to kill him on the spot, the programmers and the mole will find another way to hack in again, I thought to myself. But finding the mole would be like trying to find a small leak in a huge boat. Carrie nodded in agreement, "We have to wait until Alfonso comes back to do that. Surprisingly, the place has a lot more security when he's away compared to when he's actually there. Also, judging from what's posted online, vast majority of the residents there will be going away next month just in time for Thanksgiving. I think it's best to infiltrate his condo till then just in case."

I had to agree. Less security and, if something goes south, possible less civilian casualties. So we'll wait it out, I thought to myself. But what are we going to do till then? I felt dizzy at the thought of being near her for a whole month. I looked at her again. She was back at looking at her iPad screen.

I couldn't help but smile.

- - - - - - -

As weeks passed by, Carrie and I developed a routine: wake up, roam the city, eat breakfast, lunch and dinner together in different restaurants and somehow comfortable enough to share the same bed. One evening I asked why she slept in the same bed with me and if she's okay doing it.

"Honest," she replied," I don't mind doing it. It feels nice and I don't mean that in a pervy way. Plus, I know the snuggling is helping you cope up with your dreams. You've been sleeping peacefully ever since."

She was right. The nightmares I had before were gone and replaced by dreamless heavenly sleep. However, I couldn't help but wonder if I'm taking advantage to the bed situation. There were times where the snuggling was purely innocent and therapeutic, but there were other times where I thought of ripping her clothes off. If she's not complaining, I thought to myself, why should I? We got closer at each passing day and got more personal with our conversation.

We were at the McCormick Tribune Ice Skating Rink in Millennium Park, sipping our hot cocoa while bench watching people ice skate. The weather got colder as Thanksgiving Day was nearing. The sky was grey even if it was lunch time and little flurries of snow flowed down. I was wearing my black trench coat and winter hat, driving gloves and boots. Carrie dressed similarly as me except her coat was grey. It felt nice being a civilian once in a while, but it felt a lot nicer being with someone doing normal civilian stuff.

"What scares you?" Carrie suddenly asked. "Obviously, you've faced and dodged death multiple times, but what does the great agent seventy-six fear?" She was really easy to talk to and I've gotten comfortable enough to open up some information about myself.

"That's a tough one," I replied as I pursed my lips," but I think it's betrayal. Betrayal and deception. I've known enemies that betrayed their own country and family, and that little betrayal can kill hundreds of innocent people. It's little things like that can lead to a butterfly effect turning something greater, something more chaotic. What about you?"

"I'm not fond with sharks," she giggled. "There's just no way you can beat them unless you have a gun. You don't fear death?"

"I think I've encountered death many times to the point of accepting it," I replied. "In every mission, I always think I'll die tomorrow or within the next hour. It is what it is."

"That sounds a little melodramatic for me," she said. "But then again, I'm not used to facing death like you. Now, come with me." She stood up and offered a hand. A mischievous smile slithered across her lips as my hand hesitated to take hers. My heart skipped a beat once the palm of our hands became one. "What's this about?"

"Well," she said as she pulled me towards the ice skating rink," since you don't fear death, I want to show you how to be alive." She pulled me through a crowd of people and went to a nearby rental booth. A teenage boy behind the booth grabbed two pairs of ice skates after she asked and paid for them. I could feel my face burning whenever she smirked my way.

As we quietly put our skates on, my eyes stayed on her. Everything at that point was lucid for me as my eyes scanned every details of her face, clothes, smile, everything. I lied about fearing betrayal and deception, both of them tied second, but the number one thing I currently fear about was her.

You're falling head over heels, I thought to myself, and you're falling deeper and faster every minute you're with her. It was scary. There were still unanswered questions involving her and I seldom get my emotions in my way, but a small powerful part of me wanted her. Clumsily, we attempted to skate on the frozen rink hand-in-hand. I've some experience in ice skating, but it was clear that Carrie was purely a beginner.

"Why did you suggest to go ice skating when you don't know how to skate?" I asked while laughing. She grabbed both my hands until we were trying to regain her balance face-to-face. Her face had that nervous look that made my stomach churn.

"I wanted you to have a good time," she replied shakingly. "Instead of laughing at me, why don't you teach me?" And so I did. For the past two hours, I slowly helped her regain her speed while facing face-to-face with each other. Her hands grabbed mine strongly whenever she lost her balance. "I think you're deliberately trying to keep me off balance," she laughed. I blushed knowing she was mostly right.

We attempted to do a small turn, but a child rudely passed us in a hurry. Carrie attempted to avoid crashing with the child, but turned too crudely to the point of losing her balance completely. To compensate, I tried pulling her closer to me, but lost my balance in the process. My back crashed hard onto the ice and felt Carrie's body on top of mine.

"Ow," I said painfully, "Are you okay?" I froze. Our faces were an inch apart, I can feel her breathing through her nose. Her hair fell and surrounded both our faces. God, she just felt so damn good laying on top of me. She giggled, "Yea I'm okay. At least I had something soft to land on." Kiss her, I thought to myself. Just kiss her, take your chance! I must be going crazy.

Fuck it.

I tilted my head upwards and kissed her softly on the lips. At first, we didn't use our tongues, but I started to open my mouth and let my tongue nudge for entrance. Hesitantly, she opened her mouth and let me in. The pace was slow, but it didn't matter. I felt like I was in heaven.

Then, she jerked up and stopped kissing. Our eyes opened and met. She rolled off me and clumsily scrambled on to her feet. My mind was too numb to realise that she was trying to get away from me. I sat up and looked at the people in front of us. "I, uh," I heard Carrie say beside me, "I have to get back to the hotel ASAP. I'll meet you there." I didn't reply. I didn't need to because she was already skating away from me.

My brain finally registered that she was actually skating away from me flawlessly. I looked after her and actually felt my heart breaking.

What just happened, I thought to myself.

- - - - - - - -

It took me a while to walk towards my car. I didn't want to go back to the hotel room just yet, it'd make things a lot more awkward. Once I finally sat on the driver's seat, I sighed loudly. I turned Emma on, but didn't start the engine right away. I just needed to gather my thoughts before I throw them out and erase them forever.

"I sense emotional distress," Emma said. "Would you like to consult with a psychiatrist?"

"No..."I said nonchalantly. "I just...I need to be alone for a while."

"Confirmed, agent," Emma replied. "A message was sent to your private terminal at approximately 3:30 P.M. Would you like to see it now?" I rubbed my temple and said yes. Emma's face vanished from the windshield and my private terminal popped up. One unread message from an unknown sender. I pointed my finger in the air to the small little mail icon in the screen and held it for two seconds.

The message wasn't much and it only contained one sentence, but it rang all the emergency centres in my body. It said: She's not who you think she is.

I sat in the driver's seat for a good ten minutes re-reading the message over and over again. What does that mean, I thought to myself. Was it talking about Carrie? "Emma," I finally said, "Trace the sender."

"Attempt failed," Emma's robotic voice rang. I grunted in frustration. Someone is trying to rattle my brains out, I thought to myself. Who would send this and why? Maybe it really was a warning. The thought of Carrie lying to me hurts even more. Then a thought popped up: what if this warning was a way of telling me that Carrie was the mole?

How can you think that, I thought bitterly to myself. But she'd be the perfect mole plus she has the brains for it. I couldn't shake off the many possibilities the message was about, but it made me more and more suspicious of Carrie. She lied about ice skating, I thought to myself. She did skate by herself after our little incident. I looked at my watch and didn't realise how late it was. I might as well go back to the hotel room, I thought to myself. But the thought of seeing Carrie was the last thing I had in mind.