The Awards Show Ch. 07

"Jet that was so nice. I can't remember the last time you put your phone away and just ate with me." She and Jane stood at her stoop and Jet just stared at the beautiful woman in front of her.

"I really enjoyed it too. I'm sorry I've been so distant and busy."

"I guess that's what I get for dating the next hot writer. You know you're hella impressive. You have so much talent and you're like really going somewhere." Jet smiled at the younger woman's words. Jane had such an L.A. way of talking. Jet didn't know if she would ever get used to it, or if Jane would grow out of it one day as she grew older.

"It doesn't mean anything if you can't share it with someone." She stroked her fingers along Jane's cheek and the younger woman leaned in giving her a soft kiss.

"You're too good to me Jettie. I can't stay tonight, though. I mean I have drum circle in the morning you know."

"I know. I wish you could, but I do have a suggestion."

"What's that my gorg girl?" Jane gave her another peck and Jet felt her heart leap. She was really falling for this woman. It hit her like a ton of bricks in that moment.

"I think that once a week you and I should have a date night. It'll be like tonight. We'll just be totally together, no phones, no work, and we'll enjoy each other."

"Jet that would be so good. You know, though, I was thinking that maybe there was a way for us to see each other more even though you're busy. So, maybe we could do both things."

"What are you suggesting Jane?'

"Well, like, what if we moved in together?"

"Really? I mean after the last few months, you'd want to live together?" Jet was a little taken aback. That was definitely not what she expected Jane to ever suggest. Half of her wondered if they were even about to split up after their last fight. Jane always was a little impetuous though, and she also wondered if the other woman had even thought the suggestion through before it came out of her mouth.

"Yea. I was just thinking that like we're not seeing each other so much because you know I always have to go home or you do. Then, I thought if we lived together we'd have so much more time to see each other. Plus, you know I love you Jet. You're my lady." Jane hadn't said she loved her before and Jet felt herself shiver a little. Those three little words hadn't been directed at her since Mitchell and he had perverted them in her mind.

"Let me think about it okay? You know I was hurt before and I'm complicated."

"That's why you should say yes Jettie. Let me uncomplicate you. We'll move in together, no pressure, and then you'll see that things can just be chill."

"I'll think about it, but we are going to do date night."

"Sounds great. Sleep well gorge." She smiled at Jet and leaned in for a goodnight kiss. Jet sighed as she watched her leave and walked into the house.

From there, she paced for a while, before she told herself that she just had to calm down. Jet couldn't though, the thoughts in her head were running at full speed and she couldn't do anything but try to reason it all out. She needed a friend, another voice to calm the thoughts. Jet forced herself to sit down and then she called Rhett. Her leg bounced as she tried to think of what Jane said. Could she really move in with her and it not be a big deal? Was it possible that it would bring them closer together or would it cause them to explode? After ten rings, Jet hung up. Rhett was clearly not answering, so now what was she going to do?

Without thinking about it too much, she dialed the next number, Link. He picked up on the second ring.

"Hey Jet, what's going on?" Link's soft voice came through and she sighed heavily.

"I'm so sorry to bother you Link, but I had to talk to someone. I....I'm kind of freaking out right now."

"No worries. I told you that you could call me anytime. What's going on?"

"Jane just left after our date, and it was awesome. I mean Rhett suggested a date night because we've been fighting and everything and it was great. Then, I suggest that we make it a regular thing, you know keep the good part going. But, Jane, she...she suggested we move in together and she said she loved me. Now, I'm tripping out and I need someone to talk to."

"Whoa, now hold on. You went from a date night to moving in together?"

"Yea, is that crazy?"

"It's not crazy I guess. I mean you've been dating for a while now right?"

"Yea, for almost a year now."

"Have you talked about moving in together before?"

"No. I honestly thought we were getting close to breaking up, but then I called Rhett and he talked to me and made this suggestion so I thought I would try. But, now she wants to move in together Link."

"Did she say why all of the sudden she was asking?"

"She said that way we would see each other even if I was busy."

"Okay, so do you think Jane thinks of this as a step forward in your relationship or is it just convenience? Because, you both need to be on the same page."

"I guess for me it's a big deal because of my last boyfriend."

"You lived with him?"

"Yea, and it was a huge mistake."

"I think it can be sometimes if you're not ready. Like, when Christy and I first got married adjusting to living together was nuts. Of course, you know I'm a bit neurotic."

"A bit? Link, you're wound up tighter than anyone I've ever met."

"Okay, ha-ha. You called me for advice you know. I can go anytime."

"Don't please."

"Jet, I'm just messing with you, don't worry about it. All I'm saying is learning to live with someone can be hard. Is that what ended your last relationship just trying to live together?"

"Not as much as the fact that he was an abusive asshole."

"Oh Jet, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up a painful memory."

"It's okay. You know Mitchell was just a monster. I mean my last memory of him was hitting a wall, then me, and then the cops were there. I guess I'm just worried about heading down that same path."

"Wow, girl you should have told me that. No wonder you're freaked out. Well, listen, Jane doesn't strike me as the type to hit anything. I think you're safe, but I get why you'd be worried to move forward. You can't let that stop you from ever being with someone again though."

"I don't want it to, but I guess part of me feels like once someone moves in they have rights over you, like property."

"How long was Mitchell abusive?"

"Psychologically, our whole relationship, but physically only at the end. The last night, though, I thought he broke my face. I mean to watch someone hit a wall and then turn on you....it was pretty insane and you know Jane's the first serious relationship I've had since then."

"What about Rhett? Was that harder because he was a guy?" Link asked her the question and Jet had to stop and reconcile her feelings. This was Rhett's friend too, his best friend. Of course he was going to ask if Rhett caused those feelings. Link was just curious though, he wasn't fishing for information. That just wasn't his way.

"I don't know. We were never really serious you know? He and I messed around some but we are just friends."

"I'm sorry, here you are asking me about Jane and I brought him up. It's just Rhett made it sound like you guys were sort of together after the awards show and then it all sort of changed. I guess I was trying to figure out if that was because of this butthole Mitchell or not."

"I'm not sure Link. I hope not, but I'm not sure. Rhett and I have moved on though. We're just friends now, and he was totally awesome with me the last time we talked. He helped me with Jane."

"He's a good guy Jet. Once he's your friend, he'll be your friend forever. But, that's not why you called. It sounds to me like maybe you aren't worried about Jane moving in. I think you're worried about how you feel about her. Do you love her?"

"I'm not sure. I think those words are screwed up in my mind now, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to say them again. I care about her and I don't want things to end between us."

"Well, then you have to ask yourself if moving in is a way to keep things good between you. I mean what if Jane wants to move forward? It's not fair to lead her on. If you want things to keep going, maybe moving in is the right thing. Either way, I think you have to talk to her about it. Does she know about Mitchell?"

"She knows a little. Jane's not always the easiest to talk to, and she doesn't like talking about guys I've been with. Jane's a lesbian, so she doesn't really get it."

"Huh? I mean I'm straight, but I can talk to my gay friends about their boyfriends."

"Jane's just hard that way. She's young and she gets really jealous, especially when she feels like she can't compete."

"Listen, Jet, I have to get to bed, but it just sounds to me like you need to have a real conversation with Jane about how you feel. Then, you can both decide if moving in together is right for you. As for saying I love you, well she should understand if you aren't ready. Nothing like that should be forced in a relationship. I mean I said it before Christy, way before, and we're married with three kids. Words don't mean everything. It's more about working together. Talk to her, and let me know how it goes."

"Thanks Link. Say hi to Christy and the kids for me. We'll talk soon."

Jet got off the phone and sighed. Link was easy to talk to, and she loved that she now had two close male friends. There was just something refreshing about getting a male perspective in some situations. Plus, Link and she had become close over the last few months and having him understand her situation made her feel not so crazy somehow.

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The next day, Jet woke up to text messages from Rhett and Jane. She yawned and clicked on Rhett's first.

'Hey, sorry I missed your call last night. I crashed out early. Link told me you chatted though. Let me know if you need to talk anymore. I'm here for you Jet.'

His words made her smile. Jet felt comforted just getting a text from Rhett. She typed a quick response

'Thanks. Link was great, and I think I know what I need to do. I'll talk to you soon.'

She sighed and clicked on Jane's text next.

'Morning gorg babe. Drum circle was awesome. I was talking to some of my friends and I really think that moving in together would be cool. Can we talk about it tonight?'

Jane's message was simple and Jet thought it was the best she was going to get from the younger woman. So, she messaged her to set up a time to talk.

That night, Jet and Jane had dinner together again, and without drum circle, Jane could come inside to chat. Jet poured them both a beer and they sat down at the table.

"So, what do you think Jet? Wanna do it?" Jane gave her a big grin, making what she had to say all the more difficult.

"Jane, listen, I just don't think I'm ready to live together yet. I want to be together and I want to have a date night every week, but living together is too much for me right now."

"What? Jet, come on, it's not that big of a deal. We'd just be roommates and then we have us. Plus, it would save us a lot of money."

"Jane, you haven't lived with someone that you're dating before. I know it seems like it will just be fun for you, but it means more than just that. To me, it's a big step and after Mitchell, well, it's huge."

"Come on Jet; you know I hate talking about the guys you've dated."

"I know, but we should. Mitchell and I were toxic and it really fucked up my head to be with him, so I'm going to need some time. He's the last person I lived with, and it just became him controlling me."

"I don't want to control you Jet. I just want to be here, and be with you as much as I can."

"Jane, you've already been a little controlling with the Rhett thing, and I just can't go back to something so serious yet."

"It doesn't have to be serious. It'll just be fun. Plus, I mean I love you and that's what people in love do. They move forward." Jane was sort of right, although, Jet didn't think she really understood what she was saying.

"Jane, it is serious to me, and I know that you said you love me, but that's such a loaded word. The last person that said that to me was Mitchell, but his love came with anger and violence and it was so perverted."

"But mine's not like that. Can't you just let Mitchell go? Or is it that he had a cock and I don't?" Jane was clearly upset and Jet wanted to run away. She hated confrontation since Mitchell, but this time she swore she wouldn't. Jane deserved better from her, and she was going to do better than their last big fight.

"I have let him go in a lot of ways Jane, and this has nothing to do with what equipment either of you have. You know you shouldn't make this about gender. I hate it when you do that. I respect that you are a lesbian and you should respect that I'm bisexual. Body parts mean nothing to me. I care about the person I'm with regardless of their gender."

"Come on Jettie, don't get upset. I just haven't been with anyone bi before, you know that."

"I do, and I understand that there is a lot that you haven't done in relationships yet. I wish I was still like you in a lot of ways, but I'm not. I have baggage. I've been hurt more than you understand and I hope you never get hurt like that Jane. Here's the thing, though, when you love someone you have to understand their baggage and you have to work with them to get past it together. You can barely talk to me about my past let alone work with me to get over it. I mean I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell you that I love you. Is that something you can live with?"

"Do you? Do you love me?"

"I can't answer that Jane, not with those words. I can tell you that I care about you and I want you in my life."

"Then, do one or the other."

"What?"

"Either tell me you love me or move in with me. You owe me that much. We've been dating for a year. You should know if you love me and you should know if you want a future with me. I'm tired of waiting Jet." Jane was right, and Jet's breath caught as tears fell down her face.

"I can't do either Jane. I'm not ready and that's all I can say. I just want to be with you and care about you and show you that I care about you. Can we do that?"

"I just don't get how you can hold on to Mitchell so hard, unless this is about Rhett."

"Are you kidding right now? You're going to bring up Rhett."

"Well, which one is stopping you from being more serious with me?"

"Jane, I think you should leave now. I'll call you tomorrow after I've had time to think."

"What? No. No Jet. If I leave right now, then I think we should take a real break."

"What does that mean Jane?"

"I think we should take a break from each other until you can either tell me you love me or decide that you want me to live with you."

"You want to take a break and give me an ultimatum?"

"Yes, because I'm tired of all your baggage and all this treating me like I don't get things. You're so busy and you think you're so important that I should just wait for you. I think that if you spend some time without me then you'll realize that you love me and you can't live without me. So, we should just not talk for a while."

"Is that what you want?"

"I think it is. You'll see how much you need me and then we can move past all this stuff. Jet, you're such an awesome person and I really love you, but I need you to feel the same way and I think you will if we just are apart for a while." Jane stood up and made her way to Jet's door. Jet didn't get up, just listening until the other woman left.

Tears flowed down her face that night, but she didn't reach out to anyone. She wanted to feel it, and she wanted to work it out on her own. Jet did too. By the next day, Jet almost felt a sense of relief. Jane had pushed her too hard and simply didn't understand what she needed. This time apart would be good. Jet needed to clear her head of everyone and figure out what she really wanted and what she was ready for on her own.

The next two months, Jet spent working hard, but she also found time to really enjoy herself. She made time to do the things she enjoyed when she wanted, and she didn't have to answer to anyone. It was a nice break from the seeming chaos she had brought on herself with Rhett and Jane. She did still text with Rhett, but she said nothing about Jane. There was no need. Jet was taking a break from romantic stuff and enjoying her freedom.

Soon enough, her messages with Rhett became only business. They discussed the movie and even started to talk about making a sequel. They would check in with each other, but it was only to ask how they were each doing. No mention was made of anything romantic or their relationships or lack thereof. Jet got used to the rhythm of having him as a friend, and she slowly stopped missing that feeling of having someone in her bed. It was almost nice.

When Link started to shoot her messages about really drafting a sequel, she easily slipped into discussing the project with both men. It would be nice to be working with them again. They made a good team. Before long, Jet had formed an outline of the sequel to their film and Rhett and Link both approved it. From there, she started writing furiously. It took a month before it came together, but when it did, Jet felt good.

One day when she already had some meetings scheduled near Burbank, she decided it was time to see the guys again in person. So, Jet made plans to drop by the studio and give them the script in person. It had been almost 4 months since she saw either Rhett or Link in person, and she was more than eager to see both their smiles again.

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It was about 5 when Jet opened the studio door. No one greeted her on the other side and it made her a little suspicious. Although, she figured they were all out filming or setting up so she would just drop off the script copies on Rhett's and Link's desks for a surprise when they returned. She had hoped to see them, but if it wasn't meant to be it wasn't.

"Hey stranger." Rhett's smile greeted her as she made her way into his shared office with Link. It seemed she was going to get to see them after all.

"Hey." Jet smiled and relaxed instantly seeing him, although she hadn't really been expecting to, it was a nice surprise.

"So, I put together a draft script and I thought I would drop it off for you guys. Plus, I kind of wanted to say hi in person. It's been a long time. What are you...?" Rhett had his hands buried in his hair and he had a pained look on his face. Jet just stood there puzzled.

"We were thinking of doing a sketch so the crew put these clip/rubber band things in my hair. I'm trying to get the damned things out." He seemed so frustrated, and his long arms were working blind as he struggled above his head. Of course, the grey long sleeve shirt that he wore was pulled tight, and he looked every bit as good as she remembered him. That was Jet's problem, though, and she forced herself to take a deep breath before she spoke again.

"Don't be so rough. Ugh....here let me help." Jet moved over in front of his chair, plopping the scripts on the side. Her back was to his desk as her hands went to his hair, picking a small section that was caught up in a rubber band to work at. He released his hands down and slid his sleeves up just a little revealing tan forearms. Jet tried not to follow his large hands as they adjusted the fabric, but it was hard.

"How bad is it?" He sounded a little less frustrated now that she was helping.

"It's not that bad. Just let me work at it and stay still." She scratched her nails through the back of his hair in an effort to comfort him. "You're rocking longer hair now huh?" His hair was soft as it brushed against her fingers and she freed the first rubber band.