The Barry Principle

This is a little throwback piece for me. It was an assignment by my creative writing professor to write our own paper modeled after 'The Peter Principle.' I wrote it in 1971 while riding the subway to the college. I never considered myself much of a writer (still don't, really) but this teacher's encouragement changed my perspective. Up to this point, I was a music major with no interest in writing and this professor managed to spark my interest.

My teacher was really into women's lib, but I knew she also had a great sense of humor. I must admit that I also had quite a crush on her. I handed the paper in with fear and trepidation. Several days later, she handed my paper back to me. Not only did she give me an A+, but she wrote a 10-page rebuttal that was full of humor. I wish I still had a copy of that.

I hope you enjoy what was a milestone in my academic life. I've not given it to any editors or beta readers so it could remain as it was originally. I accept full responsibility for any errors.

So... here it is.

©BarryJames1952 April 2020

The Barry Principle

Our world continues to advance in technology and complexity at a rapid pace, which ultimately leads to a large increase of responsibility heaped upon us all. Since we are human, and since it is human to err, we will most likely make mistakes.

Since it is also human to protect ourselves (this includes protecting our body as well as our 'face' as Asian cultures use the term), we often choose to blame others for our mistakes. I am no different. I also place the blame on others whenever possible.

I, however, have taken this common trait of blame-shifting to a higher degree. By analyzing and researching the past, I found the only possible place to put the blame for the mess the world is in today. Let me take you through each step that I followed in determining this core principle that properly directs the blame for the world's problems.

Let's start by using the Bible since it one of the oldest historical documents known to man. In Genesis 2:7 we find that God created a man and called him Adam. Adam had a beautiful setup, but he felt something was missing. He was lonely, so he asked God for a companion. Since God needed some material to work with, He made Adam's companion from one of Adam's ribs and called the creation a woman. Now Adam and his companion, Eve, were happy.

One day when Adam was out, a serpent tempted Eve to eat fruit from a tree forbidden by God by telling her it would make her powerful. She ate some and, using the influence she had over Adam, managed to persuade him to eat some too. God wasn't happy when He found they had disobeyed Him. As a result, He kicked them out of their home, made them walk on thorns in their bare feet, and made the earth produce very little for them to eat unless they worked for it. This was all a result of Eve's giving in to the common weakness of all woman, which is the desire for power.

Let's look at that event in mathematical terms. I've formulated this equation to explain the events:

m - r = w + 10t

Converting to words, this states that man (m) minus a rib (r) equals a woman (w) plus ten times the trouble (10t) he would have had otherwise.

Using the Bible again we find the story of Sampson and Delilah (Judges 14:16). Samson was a man blest by God with great strength, but God gave it to him with the condition that Samson would not cut his own hair.

Samson, being like most men, wanted a woman. Because he was betrayed by the woman he preferred, he had to settle for his second choice. That was Delilah. Samson had been busy killing a lot of Philistines (a pagan group of people that looked down on Samson's group), so they were anxious to find his weakness so they could destroy him. They knew that Sampson grew to love Delilah, so they decided to tempt her with a large amount of silver to get her to reveal the secrets behind Samson's strength.

After several attempts, Delilah learned that if Samson's hair was cut, he would be weak. She revealed this to the Philistines, then she cut his hair in his sleep. That allowed them to take him into custody. They blinded and tortured him as revenge on what he had done to their people. By the mercy of God, he was able to destroy their temple killing most of his enemy along with himself.

Like our previous example, let's examine the mathematical equation that explains what happened here.

m + (w+T) = 10t + h

This equation states that a man (m) plus a woman (w) who was tempted with money (T) results in a lot of trouble (10t) plus a bad haircut (h).

Today, women are fighting for more power and riches (women's liberation desiring equality in power and wages). In the Bible we find passages in the New Testament that show that God forbids this liberation. The Bible states that man is woman's superior (1 Corinthians 11:3) because woman was made from man (1 Corinthians 11:8). If history repeats itself as historians are prone to claim, then the world can expect a lot of trouble if woman win their battle for equality.

Now that I have explained my principle that proves women are the cause of most evil, permit me to offer the final equation. Taking the two previous formulas as solid fact, the following is the result:

Since: m - r = w + 10t

And: m + (w+T) = 10t + h

Then: m + (w+T) + 10t

Where (r) and (h) cancel each other out

Now that I have proven that women are the reason the world is in such terrible shape, we must conclude that the only way to clean up the world is to control the female of the species. The only remaining dilemma is, would you rather clean up the world's problems or live a life of happiness with a content female companion?

I'm afraid I am a victim of my own principle.

*****

Final Comments

As I noted earlier, the teacher loved it and took it in the light-hearted spirit with which it was intended. I had handwritten this before spelling and grammar check were available, so I would change a lot if writing it today. I ran into her in the 1980's, almost 20 years after I wrote this, and she remembered me and my paper. She mentioned that she typed my paper out, mimeographed it (remember that), and handed it out to every class over her career as an example of the assignment.

I hope the reader understands, as my teacher did, that I am not anti-woman and that I stretched the meanings from my research to fit the assignment. In reality, I hope someday that men can be as awesome as women, but it will never happen.