The Bisexual Man's Gaze

"Things ought to be different," Charles Antoine said to himself as he walked out of the Best Cuts barber shop, located in the west end of Ottawa. There were five other people, all of them Africans, waiting for cuts when he got off the chair. There aren't that many black-owned barber shops in the west, especially in places like Nepean, Barrhaven or Kanata. For the most part, black businesses tend to flourish in the east end, in places like Vanier and Orleans.

Charles winced as a cold wind buffeted him upon exiting the barber shop. This was yet another inconvenience which the brother from the tropics had grown accustomed to. It was fall, and as expected, the City of Ottawa, Ontario, was sunny and cold. Kind of like the majority of its fake-smiling, passive aggressive residents, come to think of it. Charles wrapped his coat around himself and walked to the nearby shopping center.

When Charles moved to the City of Ottawa from his hometown of Quartier Morin, northern Haiti, he saw infinite possibilities. Of course, that was before he learned that in Canada, there is a pecking order, and there are institutions dedicated to keeping people of African descent down. The fact that Afro-Caribbean and continental African immigrants tend to bicker among themselves rather than uniting against their common foes was both funny and sad.

Charles Antoine, a proud son of Haiti, has met some white men and white women who disliked him due to his skin color, and he rightfully called them racists. What was Charles to make of Ugandan immigrants like his sister Marianne's boyfriend Mitchell Mukhwana who looked down on Haitians and other black folks from the New World. For reasons like these, Charles decided to look out for number one. Why risk himself for such close-minded fools?

Charles walked to the Bayshore Mall, and ran into a young white woman walking around with a dog. The dog, a German shepherd mix, yapped loudly and wagged its tail at Charles. Pausing briefly, Charles smiled at the dog and waved at it, and the animal sniffed his hand and wagged its tail affectionately. The dog's owner looked distinctly uncomfortable. After walking past Charles without a word or a smile, she quickened her pace, tugging on the dog's leash.

"White woman uncomfortable in the presence of black male pedestrian, another Karen moment," Charles said to himself as he kept on walking. As a six-foot-one, burly and dark-skinned male, Charles is considered a threat by insecure and bigoted folks everywhere. He walked to the bus station, and caught the first bus going to the mall. Once there, he did some window shopping. The multi level mall had dozens of stores, and housed a TD Bank, a hair salon, a private gym, and of course, a humongous food court. Of course, there was also a Walmart store in the upper level. That's where Charles was headed...

Charles took his time as he walked around the mall. There were plenty of pretty ladies, and they were still wearing tank tops and yoga pants, even though it was getting chilly. Charles smiled as he checked out a tall, curvy sister with a big ass. Hmm, this one could have given Tennis legend Serena Williams some competition in the booty department. Charles also checked out a pair of Hijab-wearing Arab ladies whose conservative dress couldn't hide their curves and big butts. Hot damn. The mall was an alright place that day...

Charles checked out the pretty ladies, and he liked what he saw. Of course, he discretely checked out certain fellas. He avoided the obvious ones, the effeminate males with the funny voices and expansive gestures. Thanks but no thanks. Charles also avoided men who only checked out men. The ones who caught Charles attention were masculine men walking around with beautiful women. Charles is a bisexual Haitian gentleman, and when he needs male companionship, he prefers other bisexual gentlemen.

"Nice couple," Charles said to himself, as he checked out a tall, handsome guy with dark hair, alabaster skin and blue eyes, who was holding hands with a short, curvy black woman. A lot of black women have a problem with black men dating white women, but they celebrate black female/white male relationships like it's the fourth of July. The black woman with the tall white dude smirked at Charles, mistakenly believing him to be another brother who disapproved of her relationship.

Charles smiled to himself, for after making eye contact with the tall fellow, he correctly guessed that this man liked both sexes. Charles made eye contact with the white dude, who looked like a younger, darker-haired version of the late, great Paul Walker, from those car racing movies. The dude was well-built, and the bulge at the front of his jeans indicated that he was alright in that area. The dude returned Charles smile, but did not say anything. What was there to say?

Charles kept on walking. He isn't like those creepy males who follow other men around and show zero regard for their relationship status or boundaries. It's usually males within the Kinsey Six spectrum who latch onto other men and cannot let go. Charles has lots to occupy his mind. He doesn't need or want to obsess over anyone. Charles is a busy man, ladies and gentlemen.

Charles took the stairs instead of the escalator as he made his way toward Walmart, which occupied the uppermost floor of the mall. As Charles took the steps, a vision of beauty stepped in front of him. A tall, curvy young Asian woman in a black tank top and neon-red booty shorts, plus black boots that were knee-high. She reminded him of Hollywood star Lucy Liu...only younger, and with a lot more ass.

"Excuse me, you dropped this," Charles said as he bent down to pick up a card which had slipped from the lady's purse. The young Asian woman turned around and faced him. For a brief moment, Charles saw suspicion in her golden brown eyes, and then she smiled, and held out her hand. Charles grinned and gently deposited the business card in the lady's hand, like the proper gentleman he often pretends to be...

"Oh thank you so much," the young Asian woman said, and she took the card, and nodded at Charles. Nodding gently, Charles wished the lady a good day and she continued to rush up the stairs, giving him a great visual to work with as he checked out her ass. When Charles was younger, Asian women with big butts were rare. Nowadays, they were becoming quite common. Perhaps Charles ought to date an Asian gal, one of these days, and find out the reason for the change. Mere anthropological curiosity mixed with lust, of course.

Upon reaching the upper floor, Charles looked for the Asian cutie with the booty, and was disappointed to see her walk into a clothing store, instead of Walmart. Shrugging, Charles walked into Walmart, and smiled at the kindly old white male greeter. He took a blue basket, and began to shop. He took his time, buying those food boxes he loved to pop into the microwave, and cans of juice, and of course, a random gray X-L shirt, just for the hell of it.

Charles took out his RBC debit card, and used it to pay for his purchases. With his arms loaded, Charles headed out of the Walmart, smiling at a pretty, curvy young Indian woman pushing a cart. Charles decided to take the escalator this time, shifting his purchases to his left arm as he held the railing with his right hand. He rode the escalator to the lower level, and then exited the mall. Thus, Charles made his way to the nearby bus station and caught an OC Transpo bus, beginning his long trek back to the east end of Ottawa.

Charles sat on the bus, thinking about his life. He'd just left his job for the past six months, a security gig with World Issues Canada. He walked out of that job like a boss, leaving his security uniform, his radio and his security badge on a chair, in plain view of everyone, as he left before the end of his shift. That's exactly what his racist bosses at that company deserved. Charles was humming the theme of Jerry Maguire to himself as he left his old job, feeling great...

Charles had a gig with another security company to fall back on, and so his bills would be paid. Still, he was looking for something better. After all, he had a bachelor's degree in computer science from Carleton University. Why bother getting a degree if those bozos in government offices and private sector businesses would only let him work as a security guard, rather than as a business contractor? That's life in Ottawa for you.

One day things will get better, Charles thought as he put on his headphones, plugged them into his cell phone and looked for something appropriate to the situation in his music files. With the epic song Madness by Ruelle playing in his ears, Charles finally nodded off. He had a lot on his mind and needed to relax, lest he implode. As a black man in Canada, and a switch-hitter at that, Charles needs to recoup and get his power back in order to face a hostile world. It's the only way to move forward.