tagHumor & SatireThe Blind Man's Buff

The Blind Man's Buff

byPMDlite©

Happy April Fools Day! Here's a variation on an old joke. Hope it gets a chuckle (and a vote!)

*

Jerry and his wife were still on the edge of being newlyweds. Having been married just over a year, they were still infatuated with each other and enjoyed exploring their passions. So it wasn't surprising one spring evening when he arrived home and Gloria met him at the door wearing her usual casual outfit of shorts and a tshirt but holding a blindfold .

With an impish smile she placed the blindfold on him and adjusted it tightly so he couldn't see a thing. "Now, I want you to keep this on, I have a surprise for you. Do you promise not to peek?" With that, she led him into the dining room and guided him to a chair. "Sit right here and we will get to the surprise in just a moment."

This wasn't the first time she had surprised him at the door. Once she had greeted him wearing nothing but a smile. It was a very good thing the neighbor wasn't looking in the doorway that night. He had shut the door and they did it right in the entryway. Maybe this was a nice variation on that theme. Jerry decided to try for some clue as to what was up. "So any hints? You know I'm not good with surprises"

Just then her phone went off. "Oh. I have to take this, I hope it is just a moment. Be a dear and be patient?". And off she went to another room. From the sound of her voice, this was going to be a few minutes. So Jerry decided to arrange a little surprise of his own.

He kept the mask in place, but quickly stripped down to his shoes and shorts, leaving a pile of clothes somewhere at his feet. The conversation continued, so he bent down and removed his shoes and then his socks. From what he could hear, Gloria was still on the phone and would be for a few more minutes. So he decided to remove even the shorts. There he sat, wearing nothing but a smile.

He had gone to lunch with a couple of coworkers and the place had served a side vegetable. It had to be broccoli, of course. He felt a tinge of gas. Gloria was still engaged on the phone, so he lifted his leg and let loose with a rather squeeky fart that resonated on the wooden seat of the dining room chair. "Whew, good to get that one out of there without Gloria around." He chuckled at the old joke he always recited when he farted like that. "As they say, 'Any one who farts in church sits in their own pew'."

As he sat, he began to think of what the surprise might be. He remembered the time she had worn the blindfold and asked him to surprise her with where he touched her. Now that had been a fun evening. Gloria was a frisky one. He remembered several other episodes of their adventuresome lovemaking. Perhaps she was planning to go down on him when she returned. But he did love watching her take him in her mouth as she sucked. No, it was probably something more with this blindfold. He felt his cock start to stir as he considered the many options. Soon he had a full erection as he patiently waited.

As his manhood grew even harder, Gloria was still talking to whomever had so rudely interrupted the surprise. Jerry decided that it was a shame to waste a perfectly good erection and since he often came quickly the first time they played, he began to stroke himself. He decided that it would take the edge off what was to follow. He continued to stroke, slowly at first, but then more vigorously. Finally letting his mind run wild with the many possible surprises he leaned back and let his cock spew forth a large release of hot white cum. It must have spewed everywhere on the floor. He would clean it later. There was a drop on his hand and he raised his hand to his mouth and gave it a lick. Hmm. Salty.

He sat back in the chair, content with having relieved himself and waited patiently for his wife to rejoin him. Maybe she had something in the kitchen she was waiting for and the phone call was just a clever stalling tactic.

He heard Gloria say "Goodbye" and her footsteps as she returned. She came to the room and gasped, seeing him naked on the chair. "Oh, what have you done!"

Jerry rose and removed the blindfold. As he did the dozen friends, neighbors and coworkers scattered around the room that Gloria had invited over for the surprise party yelled out "April Fool!"

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by Anonymous

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by Anonymous03/08/17

Stupid is as stupid does.

The assumption that NONE of his friends would say something when he began to strip was ludicrous. To say nothing about him jacking off. Not funny. Beyond stupid.

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by Anonymous03/05/17

I have read a few very close versions of this, over the years. Always funny.

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