The Brown Blogger Rides Again Ep. 03

I knelt beside her, as she sat upright, lumps of poo falling from her face "Just one mouthful, my liebchen and you pass with full honours."

Heidi coughed up some of Steve's stool along with brown mucus and shook her head. "No."

"It's only a small lump of Professorial poo, a tiny little thin piece, wafer thin in fact."

"I couldn't Professor, " she belched again, then moaned as fetid mucus dribbled out of her nose. "I think I'm full."

"Just one more piece of poop, Frau Miller, just the one."

"I couldn't eat another thing, I'm absolutely stuffed, Professor."

"Oh, liebchen, one last tasty morsal?"

Heidi nodded, forgot her line and took the last of my poo from my hand and swallowed it.

"Excellent, Frau Miller, now if you will just lie down while we assume the last position the neun-en-sechstig! The sixty-nine, ja?"

I swung my leg over and straddled her pooey head, "Guten Appetit!" I cried, burrowing my face in her smelly snatch and breathing in that pungent aroma. At that moment I felt Steve's hot liquid splash over my arse as he pissed on Heidi's face while she ate my pussy.

Becky called 'cut' after another minute or so, which I ignored. To my surprise, so did Heidi, who was performing a gyno examination with her tongue. I wriggled in delight, having no idea how she got so far inside me!

"Leave them, Becks," hissed Keith. "We're getting some great material here!"

Oh, God, I felt as if Heidi's tongue was in my cervix, how did she do that freaky tongue shit? I spluttered over her pussy as I came hard and then tried to repay the favour.

Laughing, Heidi slapped my arse. "Enough, Judy, trust me that was fun."

Sheepishly, I rolled off her and grinned. "You have some serious oral skills, babe."

"Thanks, you're pretty good yourself. You get everything guys?" She asked wiping poo from her face and off her breasts. I think I cleaned up her pussy.

"Great," enthused Ken, "It's an honour working with you, it really is."

"I can see," replied Heidi looking pointedly at Ken's groin.

"Sorry about that, but that scene was fucking hot!" He stammered.

Tom and Steve voiced their agreement. Heidi looked at me, speculatively. "Yes it was," she smiled.

"Well, we can't stand around all day congratulating ourselves," said Becky briskly. "Let's get tidying up. All being well it's the final day of shooting tomorrow. Annie has agreed to help out, Heidi will also be on poop duty, and I understand Tom has agreed to 'contribute'."

A cheer went up as the young man blushed. I squelched over to Becky. "Hey, you want to hang this evening?"

"Can't I'm afraid, work to do, now get into the shower, you and Heidi can share, Steve in the other."

A little miffed at her rebuff, I said: "I'm okay sharing with Steve."

"This is a work environment, not a party, let's keep it professional." Becky swept off before I could respond.

"I'll grab the second bathroom, you and Heidi can have the other," said Steve, who wasn't inclined to make a fuss.

I shrugged, as did Heidi. "Guess we are together then," she said.

"Should be fun." Linking arms we trooped to the shower.

"Sorry Becky is in a bit of a mood, she's uptight over the filming," I apologised as I soaped Heidi's back.

"I understand. I was a bit uptight at the start."

"Always awkward working with new people, and I guess you were wondering what you had let yourself in for."

"True." She turned around and let me soap her breasts. Like me, she had big natural boobs, soft and squidgy. Taking the shower gel, Heidi returned the favour. "I was taken aback by you and I underestimated your talent and the script. You bring energy and fun. It's refreshing. You should come to Germany, I can get you a lot of work."

"A trip? Sure I'd like that. Becky as well? I know she's done a couple of trips."

Heidi was non-committal. "Becky is good, professional but she only really likes working with girls, which limits her."

"Oh, I hadn't really noticed." Thinking about it clips with guys usually involved Becky pooping on them.

"Yes, well she is gay so not that surprising."

"No, Becky is straight," I loved this woman's boobs. I could soap and play with them all day. Heidi was giving me the side-eye. "What?" I asked.

"Becky is a lesbian, who pretends to be bi," said Heidi firmly.

I stopped, puzzled. "No, she's straight. She told me."

"Ja, she tells everyone that, and how many guys has she dated or seen since you've known her? None, I bet."

"Well, no, mostly we've hung out, fooled around, until I hooked up with Steve again. Oh." It suddenly dawned on me why Becky had cooled on me. "Ooh!"

Heidi put a huge soap sud on my nose and did a good impression of us both. "I'll shower with Steve, Becky,' 'No, let's keep it professional!'" She smiled. "Becky is perhaps a little bit jealous of you and Steve? You do talk about him a lot. Oh, and she throws women only parties, no? Ladies all natural with each other, no men allowed?"

"Yeah, but that isn't..." I trailed off as Heidi began laughing.

"I'm sorry, Judy, but your face is a picture!"

"Why didn't she tell me? She even talks about fantasies involving guys."

"Not to make you uncomfortable I guess, also I think she is in denial about it. And it means she can have fun and if you are young and naive you may believe her tales about men."

I let Heidi shampoo my hair while I figured this out.

"She has a women only bash planned for later this month, have you been invited?" Heidi continued.

"No!" I knew nothing about it. I was angry now. Angry and hurt.

"I wondered if you had. Listen, you two make a good team, you bring energy and ideas, Becky brings calm and order. For it to continue you need to be honest with each other."

"I have been honest," I said indignantly.

She draped her arms around my neck and kissed me. "Good. Now you have to make her be honest with you." She poked out her tongue and waggled it. It was a long tongue. "Not attached properly. You like that up your pussy?"

"Loved it!"

"You want to get together this evening and have sex?"

God, yes. "I think I have to go and sort a friend out," I declined wistfully.

Her face showed her approval. "Yes, you do."

Becky's work involved a drink or two with Ken. I bullied him into revealing the venue, rather enjoying the look on Becky's face when I turned up. Ken did his best to look surprised but collapsed when Becky turned up the heat on him.

"I'll get the next round and grab some menus," he muttered and fled to the bar.

"So work, huh?" I said.

"Ken and I are discussing tomorrow's work schedule. Lost Steve have you?"

"No, but I did turn down sex with Heidi."

This threw her, but she recovered quickly. "I'm surprised, didn't think you and her were keen on each other."

"We weren't to begin with, she thought I was a mouthy idiot."

Becky gave a thin smile. "Well, you do take some getting used to."

"So my bestie keeps telling me. But then she tells me lots of things that aren't on the level." I was quietly steaming which I tried to keep in check.

"I really have no idea what you are talking about."

I switched tack. "I hear you are having one of your ladies only bashes soon."

She shifted uncomfortably. "Yes, I was going to ask you, but I assumed you would be with Steve."

"Fuck Steve."

"I understand you do. Often."

"Strictly fuck buddies, largely because we share similar tastes. Tastes that I share with my bestie, who I much prefer sharing time with."

"Except when you are fucking."

"I like fucking men. Do you?"

"That's none of your business. We work together, hang sometimes, my private life is my affair."

I lost it with the snotty cow. "You mean you're a lesbian, and lied to me about it," I replied heatedly as Ken returned.

"Okay, I'll leave the drinks and menus here, and I just remembered I promised the wife I would be home early." Ken couldn't leave the pub quickly enough.

"I didn't lie," Becky replied quietly when he had gone.

"You weren't straight with me. No pun intended."

She smiled. "You're a funny girl." She wiped her eyes. "Sorry."

All the heat went out of me. "Hey, I'm sorry too, I'm just upset, that's all."

"Yeah, I know, I should have told you after we got to know each other and then Steve shows up. I was silly I guess."

"Well, a little. I'm sorry I kept banging on about me and Steve, well, banging every five minutes, but it's the sort of thing you share with your bestie."

"Yes, it is, and I'm happy for you."

"Well, you could have fooled me," I smiled. "And talking of fooling, we can still fool around."

"Really? Oh well, that's great to hear. Thanks, Judes, I'm touched by your heartwarming generosity."

"Yeah, okay, no need for the sarcasm, Becky."

"No need you say? Tell me, Judy Bellingham, what exactly do you think this is all about? Do you know why I'm really upset? You want to have a guess?"

I was getting annoyed again. "Look, I'm the injured party here."

"Injured? Because I didn't tell a strange girl I had just met that I'm gay? And then didn't tell her later because we were having fun and I know she isn't gay so what's the point? Or that I didn't tell her when she was bragging about this hot guy, who, incidentally she couldn't stand the week before? And what exactly should I have said? That I am in love with this girl? Hearts and flowers and romance and wedding bells in love? That I miss her when she isn't around? That I miss her laugh and her crazy ideas and whacko personality? But apparently, it's okay because I can 'still fool around with her' when she isn't too busy. Well, thank you very much for your gracious consideration, your majesty." She stood, hoisting her handbag onto her shoulder. "Now if you would excuse me, I have a home to go to and a day's filming to plan."

I looked at her, open mouthed, too stunned to say anything as Becky walked out, head high and proud as you like.

Sipping my drink, I tried to get my spinning head straight.

"You okay, dear?" I looked up. A woman at the next table was smiling kindly at me.

"Yeah, I think so," I replied, picking up the menu. "Are the burgers any good here?"

Brown Girl in the Ring

We finished filming, cleaned up, broke open a bottle of cheap bubbly and had a 'wrap party' as Tom called it.

"I've had a great time helping out and shooting this film," he said, trapping me in a corner. "And I've got my arse on camera, and I got to shit and piss on Heidi! Shame I can't tell anyone," he sighed.

I consoled him, said I had to mingle and wriggled free. Becky was chatting to Heidi and Anne, a friend of Becky's who like Tom didn't mind lending her arse on set and had pooped daintily over Becky.

I joined them. "There you are," said Becky brightly. "I was just telling Anne how you let it rip on set, very unladylike!"

"But very effective," smiled Heidi.

"I'm a girl of many talents," I laughed. Anne was a lovely girl, a slender brunette, the same age as Becky and a good sport. I asked how they met.

"Becky and I met at college. Hung together and ran with the same crowd, although I'm the only one who knows what Becky does, well and me as well I guess."

"It's an exclusive club, to the scat girls!" I lifted my glass in a toast. Becky gave a little smile, excused herself and went to talk to Ken. Since our chat in the pub Becky and I had been largely avoiding each other. I was unsure how to handle the situation between us. It had really unsettled me, and I didn't really know why.

A few days later, I was back in Danielle's studio and decided to confide in her, yes she was wildly indiscreet, but when it mattered, Danielle was there for us girls.

"So Becky is hot for you? It happens."

"Not just hot for me, I can handle hot, I get hot for girls too. No. She's in love with me."

"Love?"

"Yes, love, you know, flowers, gooey eyes, marry me, in love."

"Becky?"

"Yes, Becky."

"Well, she is a steaming lez, so that's probably why."

"Really? Well, thanks for that illuminating insight. I would never have guessed. And it's lesbian, or gay not 'steaming lez'. And am I the only one who didn't know she was a steaming lez, I mean gay?"

"Probably honey, and I don't care what you call it. I'm pretty much a steaming lez myself these days."

I was sceptical. "You're always dating men."

"No, dear. I entertain gentlemen for money. You are so naive, Judy, I worry about you."

"But you do like fucking men?"

"Yeah, it has its moments, but it's not about the fucking. Becky has probably fucked men, although she is such a steaming lez, probably not."

I looked blank. Danielle sighed and made a fresh pot of coffee.

"Look, it's not just about sex. A man sticking his cock in you, well it's all over in a few minutes. It's about the long bits before and after. Living with a man, the sharing, the cuddles, the hugs, emotional intimacy, that's the bit Becky can't do, and neither can I, although I'm like that with women as well, but I can handle it better with women than men. If you say to me, Danielle, you have to share your life, your home with someone who would it be, a man or a woman, what would you choose? I choose a woman. Every now and then I may want to fuck a guy, but that's just masturbating with a human dildo. Emotionally though? Living with a man? That would drive me crazy."

I absorbed all this.

"Now, you have never thought about this, you're an uncomplicated girl. See man, like man, fuck man. Same with girls. And on the whole, you prefer fucking guys to girls, right?"

I nod.

"But emotionally, you don't connect, right? It's sex, fun, a laugh, a good time."

"Yeah, I guess, but I have been in love," I pointed out.

Danielle pulled a face. "Maybe, maybe not. Sure you've had crushes, think you've been in love, but nothing has really touched you deep in here." She prodded my left tit.

I was feeling defensive. "You make me out to be heartless!"

"No, not at all, you are a warm, generous girl, but a girl who has never really been in love. You are young, 22, it is not a crime. Tell me how often has a man declared his love for you?"

"I dunno, lots of times."

"And your reaction is, back off, let them down gently?"

"Pretty much, I never seem to feel the same."

"Do you worry about it, or seek out someone to talk it over with?"

"God, no, it's not a big deal."

"Except now it is."

"What is?"

"With Becky, this time you need to talk about it. This time it bothers you upsets you. Why?"

"Well, because I like Becky a lot, I think she's great."

"She matters to you?"

"Yes, very much."

"You turned down hot lesbian poopy sex with a girl with a magic tongue just to go and talk to Becky."

"Yes, because, well she's my bestie."

"You care for her?"

"Yes."

"You like her, you care for her, you put her interests above your own."

"Yes," it slowly dawned on me what Danielle was getting at. "Oh, I see. You think I should tell Becky all this?"

"Yes, you should. I'm not saying you are in love with her, only you know that, but you do care for her, very deeply care, otherwise we wouldn't be having this conversation."

I stood up and gave her a hug. "I know I complain and call you names, and you are a terrible agent, but every now and then I realise you are the wisest person I know."

"True," Danielle replied smugly.

****

Before Steve turned up and ruined everything with his apology and attractiveness, I was often at Becky's, usually just turning up unannounced and driving her mad, although in an affectionate way. I heard from Ken that Becky was prepping for the party, to which I still hadn't received an invite, so I popped round and found her hard at work laying down sticky plastic and getting irritable with it.

"Thought I could lend a hand!" I said cheerfully as she let me in.

"I've got it, thanks. Gwen is helping me." Gwen was Ken's wife.

Gwen kissed me on the cheek she was a plump, cuddly woman in her fifties, curly light fair hair and absolutely adorable. There was a slight smell of stale sweat about her this time, which I affected not to notice.

"It's a bit inconvenient, Judes," grumbled Becky. "You keep doing this, breezing in when it takes your fancy. How about the courtesy of letting me know in advance?"

"You would have told me not to come over because it's inconvenient," I replied sweetly.

Exasperated, Becky muttered under her breath while Gwen dashed for the kitchen, wittering something about putting the kettle on.

"Looks like a serial killer's den," I continued.

"Yes, well, sometimes it can get a bit messy."

"I wouldn't know, not having been to one of your bashes."

"Well, obviously you are invited."

"I am? I didn't realise." I was enjoying teasing her, which was bad of me.

"Well, you are."

"In that case, thanks and I would be happy to lend a hand."

Becky looked dubious. "By hand, do you mean pitching in for ten minutes then slacking off with cups of tea for the rest of the afternoon while everyone else does the actual work?"

"Probably. Sometimes I wonder why you put up with me."

I could see she was struggling not to smile. She covered it with a haughty sniff. I poked her in the tummy. "Besties?"

"I'll think about it," Becky replied. "No Steve?"

"No, I've parked him in storage."

She visibly perked up. "That will upset him."

"I doubt it, to him I'm a kinky fuck buddy, nothing more."

"I see, is that why you've parked him?"

"No, I parked him because of you."

She was silent, but I could see the delight in her face. "For me?" She eventually asked.

"Yes. You see having thought about it I realised that I like you, really like you, care for you very much in fact. So if there is anyone I want to be with, it's you. I miss your fussing, how you obsess over things, I miss you telling me I'm too loud, too full of myself, and I don't want to miss..."

Becky's lips crushed mine as she locked me in a fierce embrace.

"I hadn't finished," I said, breaking free.

"Shut up," she said, kissing me again.

Gwen came through, beaming and carrying a tea tray. "I've messaged Ken, and he is delighted you two have made up, he is very fond of you both. It's been a real worry for him."

"Were you eavesdropping?" I asked with mock disapproval.

"Of course I was, dear," replied Gwen, pouring out the cups of tea.

****

The morning of the party dawned bright and early. Becky and I made love it was tender and dreamy. Afterwards, we lay in each other's arms, sweaty, smelly and content.

"This promises to be one of the most memorable weekends of my life," Becky murmured happily.

"Really? What do you think has made all the difference?"

"Do I have to stroke your colossal ego all the time?"

"Absolutely, it's all part of the package." I rolled over and got out of bed.

"You up already? Normally it's an effort to get you to stir."

"Hey, there is a party to prepare for, nibbles to be baked." I leaned over and kissed her. "You sleep in for a bit, I'll keep an eye on things."

"I'm definitely getting up then," said Becky in genuine alarm.

"Cow, have some faith," I grumbled, swatting her in the face with a pair of dirty knickers.

The party was an all weekend affair, with six guests plus me and Becky. My first taste of what to expect was Gwen arriving with an overnight bag and in a little black number that was hardly age appropriate.

"Gwen embraces her inner slut, it's a safe environment and she relishes it," said Becky as Gwen disappeared to claim a bedroom, it was two to a room and two on futons in the dining room and two in the garage.

"You said this wasn't about sex?" I already had Gwen feel me up as she kissed me hello. She seemed to be a different person.

"Well, I may have undersold that," admitted Becky.

I refrained from commenting from the many, oh so many things she had undersold or misrepresented. "So, am I allowed to feel her up in return?"