The Cabin

"I'm not sure how," he said with a perplexed look, which was the best response, all considered.

"Is there a way you can make it go down?" She felt her cheeks burn as Peggy's diary came to mind.

"I, um, have read online that if I flex my thighs, it'll go away. That's why I was fidgeting."

"Oh. I...guess it's not working?" Amy was sure it was the heat of the stove nearby causing her face to heat up.

"It worked last night, but not so much tonight. I'm not as tired, and we've been here for, like, over 24 hours." Chris mumbled the last bit.

It took Amy a long moment to understand the last few words, but eventually she got it. "I see. What about, you know, taking care of it?"

"I tried, when I was out walking. I couldn't relax enough, standing in the forest. I can't do it here..." he gestured.

"Yeah. Not exactly the awesome two bedroom cabin we expected. I'm sorry for barking, I didn't expect our awesome getaway to be like this, and I didn't anticipate you having your own issues."

They stood, not speaking for a bit before she said, "What if I give you some privacy? I'll hang out on the porch?"

"I guess."

She left, grabbing her hoodie on the way out. Almost right away she regretted her offer. It was pitch black out, not a star or moon to be seen behind the rain clouds and even the stove light didn't filter through the windows. It was so different, away from the lights of the city, and not being able to see at night.

Amy waited as long as she could, huddled up against the door jam, hopeful that Chris would be able to finish quickly. The diary came to mind, as she hugged her arms around her for warmth in the dark. Peggy's 'solution', while incredibly inappropriate, had gotten results. She briefly wondered if she could ever do something like it, if it was clearly necessary, and stopped the thought dead in its tracks. He was her son, and they weren't living in the 70s.

When she couldn't take it anymore, she knocked quietly on the door. "Sorry, but I'm cold. Are you almost done?"

"Come in," came his muffled answer.

Amy re-entered the cabin, immediately grateful for the return of warmth. "All good?" she asked, trying to make it sound routine. Her mouth dropped open when she saw Chris facing the wall, under the quilt. "What are you doing? We can't fit when you lie like that...did you finish?"

He shook his head. "I can't, with you out there," he said to the wall.

She sighed and sat down on the small bed. "Look, we need to be warm. What if you just ignore it? I'll ignore it, too, and if it comes up, oh well. It's natural, right? Just let it do its thing, and we can get some sleep."

Without saying more, she lay down, pulling at his arm behind her to roll over. With a deep sigh, he did, and they were soon warm once more. Amy's heart was thumping pretty good at this point, waiting to feel him behind her, and soon she did. What she'd thought was his 'hip' the night before was actually his erect penis. She took a deep breath, and tried to ignore it.

Before long, without Chris fidgeting, she drifted off to sleep in the cradle of his arms.

It didn't last long, or at least, it didn't feel very long. Amy woke gradually to the feel of Chris' legs moving again. "Still bugging you?" she whispered.

"Sorry."

Amy rolled the options through her head. They could take turns on the bed, with the other one shivering and cramped on the chair. They could try and make a bed and blanket on the floor with extra clothes. How did Josh and Peggy manage sleeping in this bed? It didn't take long for the answer to that question to pop in her head. She thought of Peggy's mom's advice in the diary, about it being a mother's duty to care for her children.

Was it any different than anything else she'd done in her life, raising him? Who would know?

Before she could think about it any more, Amy reached behind her and found the waistband of her son's PJs, snaking under the elastic. Immediately, she found her palm filled with hot, hard flesh, and Chris groaned. She 'shhhh'ed, while forming a ring with her fingers and thumb. "Push, Chris."

Keeping the ring firm around him, she waited until a tentative thrust sent his length through it. "That's it, keep going."

Another thrust into her circled fingers, and soon he picked up the rhythm, pumping into her simulated vagina, his arms firm around her middle. His movements got faster and longer until she felt his entire length, from head to base, passing through her hand. Soon, she felt him stop pushing, his body freezing in place, and then he was coming with a long groan in her ear.

Long moments of silence passed, with nothing but Chris' heavy breathing filling the cabin. Amy pulled her hand from his bottoms, reaching for a shirt to wipe it with and handing it to her son. "Wipe up, let's get some sleep."

The shirt was soon thrown on the floor, and they fell into a relaxed sleep. Amy felt a wave of gratitude to Peggy's mom.

***

The morning dawned the same way the first had, with low light slowly filling the small room. Amy woke first, opening her eyes and felt a rush of shame and guilt. She'd jerked off her son. Well, technically he'd masturbated into her hand, but the result was the same. Despite how necessary it felt last night, it didn't change the fact they'd committed incest.

She struggled with that thought, lying in bed next to Chris. What did they do now? What would she do if it happened again? She couldn't keep jerking him to sleep every night. Could she? Whatever the future held, they couldn't change the past. Better if she just left it there, and hopefully Chris could do the same.

Despite having to pee, she didn't want to get up and expose herself to the cold air, so she just lay there and enjoyed the warmth, letting her mind roam. It was still raining, so outside activities were probably going to be short and quick until it stopped. They had the cards, and she had her books...and the diary.

She might...yes. Her bag was just within reach of the bed without leaning too far, and Amy was able to fish the diary from it. Turning to where she'd left off, she resumed reading the account of Peggy Grant.

June 8, 1970

Yesterday I told you about seeking advice from the female members of my family, and then taking it. At the time I thought that this would be enough to relieve Josh's pain permanently.

Not quite.

Josh returned to a kind of normal, however I noticed that he was quiet and looked sad a lot of the time. I didn't pry at first, but after two days of him moping around the house, I had to ask. He confessed that he was unable to keep the other day from his mind. He knew that I'd only helped him out of sympathy, and not any real desire to make him feel good, but it still refused to leave his mind.

I asked him how I could help him get back the quirky smile I loved so much. He told me that he wasn't in pain anymore, so if I were to take him to his room, it would show that I was doing it for his happiness.

I did want him to be happy again, and the last time hadn't been so bad. Aunt Mary's words about duty came back to me. If it brought back his smile, I could do it again. As soon as the door was closed, he disrobed, presenting his erection to me. I took him in hand once more, tugging as I had done the day before.

To my astonishment, Josh stopped me.

Amy closed the diary briefly as Chris stirred behind her, afraid he would waken, but he quietened so she went back to reading.

I asked Josh to just let me do it and make him feel better. He agreed, but only if I let him kiss me first! I promptly presented my cheek to him, just wanting to move on with my day.

Mystery reader, I will forever remember in crystal detail what he did next. Instead of the normal kiss on the cheek I was used to, he stepped close, taking me in his arms, and put his lips right on mine, kissing me firmly. Having only had one person do this ever in my life, I was not prepared for how it felt for a different set of lips to touch mine.

They were warm and mobile, soft and inquisitive, unlike George's brutish kisses. I found myself allowing the kiss to go on for much longer than I should have, all the while feeling Josh's erection pressing into my belly. Blood started to pound in my ears, my face was hot and I felt a flutter in my chest. I didn't know what was going on. I thought I might be going to faint, but I didn't. I let the kiss continue, wanting to feel more of it.

If you want to discourage a man, don't let him kiss you. I knew that, and yet forgot it entirely as my son pressed himself to me. In the end, it wasn't me who ended the kiss. Josh did, stepping back far enough so he could pull my hand to his penis. This time we worked together, me tugging and him thrusting, until he was once again going in my hand.

I left his room feeling more than a little flustered, wondering so many things. Why had I never been kissed like that? Where did he learn it? Why was I so full of energy, as if ready to pop? To my shame and astonishment, I went to the washroom and found that my panties were sticky, matching the warm tingling in my womanhood. I had never felt like this before. Ever.

Amy stealthily put down the diary, feeling a similar warm tingling to that Peggy described. The diary was affecting her, making her feel guilty for lying in Chris' arms while reading it. Bad enough she'd helped him 'feel better' the night before without adding to it.

As if summoned by her thoughts, Amy felt a presence growing behind her. A pressure against her soft cheeks, getting bigger by the second. Her son's morning erection insistently pressed into her while the rest of him remained still. She'd experienced something similar with her husband, but never imagined it would happen with her son.

It grew to the point of disturbing her comfort, so she shifted, causing him to move to the crack of her ass, as if drawn by a magnet. Amy stifled a squeak of surprise as Chris' erection seemed to bore into the space between her fleshy cheeks, brushing up against her anus. She reflexively twitched away, causing Chris to stir.

Amy lay still, many emotions warring within her. Despite helping him the night before, she wasn't sure how he would feel waking up with his hardon pressed into her. If she got out of bed, it would start the day rolling and avoid the potential embarrassment, but disturb the peace she was feeling. Reasoning Chris' hardon would have to go down at some point, she just lay still, eyes closed and breathing softly.

Unfortunately for Amy, If there was one thing sure to get her going, it was the feel of a hard penis tapping at her back entrance. Chris couldn't have aimed it better if he tried. The thin cloth of her panties and PJ bottoms did nothing to block the feel of him there, poking and prodding in time with the subtle movements of mother and son. When he breathed out, she shifted away, and then back again, causing the smallest of bumps each time. Bumps that just happened to be on a sensitive spot.

Amy called it quits when she realized her pussy was getting moist in her panties. Warm and cozy or not, that was going over the line. She rolled off the bed, letting the blanket fall away as she stood up. Grabbing her hoodie and slipping on shoes, she ran through the rain to go pee at the outhouse. The cloth squares, while soft, were rough enough to send wild signals to her brain when she wiped.

When she got back to the cabin, she found Chris awake and dressed. Not wanting the night before to get between them, she forced some cheer into her voice. "Good morning! Sleep well? I think I did, better than last night."

"Yeah, I did. Thanks, uh, for helping me...get settled," he said awkwardly. He looked worried, so she walked the two steps separating them and hugged him tightly.

"Of course, it was no trouble," she lied. Better that he be at ease than worry about it.

Over the course of making and eating breakfast, she did her best to keep up a stream of happy chatter, but couldn't help but see that Chris looked out of sorts. Amy realized she was overcompensating, and tried to tone her cheerfulness down. When they were done, she suggested a walk when the rain eased, which he seemed happy to agree to.

Mother and son hung out in the chairs and on the bed for a few hours, waiting for the rain to stop. Amy did her best to distract herself from thinking too hard, but failed in every way. First she thought of Peggy's diary, then she thought of Chris and his dour expression, then she shied away from the reason they were out here in this neck of the woods in the first place. It was exhausting.

When the rain finally let up enough, they emerged into the fresh bright air, happy to stretch their legs and lungs. "Are there any trails you haven't explored yet?" she asked.

Chris pointed wordlessly towards the direction of the outhouse. "The trail back there keeps going. Could be worth checking."

"Right, let's get to it."

Everything was wet. The grass, the tree branches, the shrubs and ferns, anything they touched left a wet smear behind. Amy did her best to steer the worst of them away from her, but ended up getting wet all over nonetheless. A half hour into their walk, she stopped under a tall pine tree to rest. Chris stood nearby, still quiet.

"What's wrong, hon?" she asked. "And before you say 'nothin', I'm not accepting it."

Chris shrugged a shoulder, looking down at the ground. "Just bored."

"Yeah?" She steeled her nerves. It had to be talked about. "Nothing to do with last night?"

Another shrug.

"I'm sorry, I should have asked first. I just didn't know what else to do...and it seemed to help."

"It's not that, I just...it was my first, you know."

"Oh." Amy was genuinely shocked. Chris had had girlfriends before, one of them quite serious, and she'd assumed he had at least a little experience. "Sorry."

He looked up, alarmed, "Stop apologizing!" He smiled to take the sting from his words. "I'm not mad at you, or sad you did it. It felt great! It just feels like I'm going to be waiting my whole life to feel it again because I'm not experienced enough to get past the awkwardness."

It was a shocking thing, to hear her son admitting an insecurity so openly. He did his best to put on a good face for her, to make it seem like everything was fine. To find out it wasn't the case was upsetting. "I know it seems like a big deal to you now, but I assure you, in time you'll realize it's not."

"Sure seems like it. That's all I can think about. Who knew having someone else touch me would feel so incredible? In a way, I wish you didn't need to do what you did, so I could just keep on going in ignorance. Now I know what I'm missing!"

Amy hoped he would smile, or laugh, to show he was kidding, but he didn't. Seeing his despair reminded her of Peggy's story, and the advice given to her by her aunt. A mother's duty to make sure her children are happy? How could she help Chris out of his funk? "I guess I opened Pandora's box, didn't I?" she sympathized.

Chris nodded.

It was like Peggy's aunt was beckoning her to do her duty from beyond a diary written 50 years ago. The guilt from that morning had subsided, and she was faced with her son in distress. "I mean, I guess...it wasn't so bad, what I did last night." Her cheeks warmed, and her throat started to close up on the words. "If you want, I could do it again..." She immediately regretted the words and opened her mouth to take them back. "I mean..."

"Okay."

"Well, but tonight, I guess. To help, like before. Let's keep going on our walk." Amy wished a hole would open up and swallow her whole. What had she been thinking? That stupid diary put thoughts in her head, and now here she'd just offered to 'tug' her son again, as Peggy put it.

In silence, they resumed their walk. Within another 10 minutes the trail petered out, and so they reversed course to return to the cabin. The entire trip back was done in silence, because Amy didn't know what to say, and Chris was in front, making it hard to talk, not that he seemed inclined. She did notice that his mood seemed to have lifted, though, so that was a plus.

Back at the cabin, they had lunch, trying to use up the perishables. Most of it was gone by now, leaving them canned and dry food for the last two days. When they were done, Chris washed up and Amy went to her reading chair to occupy her afternoon. He left on another walk, while there was light and the rain held off.

June 9, 1970

To my unknown reader, I left off yesterday with an account of how I felt after Josh kissed me. I smile to think of it now, as I sit here writing while he is outside trying to cut into the ground for a garden. Despite being a mother and a wife, I was innocent of many things. George was a good provider but a terrible partner. At no point in our marriage had he ever made me feel as Josh had made me feel with just one kiss. It is a miracle to me now that I ever conceived him with George, but I guess Mother Nature has her ways.

After the kiss, I tried to distance myself, of course, but in each quiet moment of the day, my thoughts would return to the feel of Josh's lips on mine. I wanted more than anything to feel it again, but reasoned with myself that it was surely a fluke of circumstance, not to be repeated.

Josh seemed much happier after our kiss and tug. I think he would have pressed his affections, however George came home for dinner and didn't go out again until the next day. I performed my wifely duties when we were in bed, laying still as my husband took his pleasure. I was astonished to discover how little pleasure I took in the act. Before Josh kissed me, I would have sworn that my husband's attentions were welcome. Now? I couldn't wait for him to be done. What a change one kiss could make!

I had my second kiss the next day. I felt compelled to test if the feeling could be repeated, sure that it couldn't. Josh often came home for lunch from his job, and I would have it ready for him. When he came through the door, I was standing by his seat, waiting for him. My heart was going mad!

I stopped Josh from sitting, telling him there was a payment required for his meal, and lifted my face, eyes closed tightly. It seemed to take him forever! When I felt those lips on mine, I almost swooned. It was exactly as I remembered it. My son took me in his arms, holding me firmly but gently as he expressed his passion for his mother. My body lit afire.

Josh didn't have much time to eat on his break, so I pushed him to his chair and went to my room. I was confused and needed to be alone.

Amy squirmed, feeling the effects of the story, while also sad that the woman had been living in a passionless marriage for so long. She deliberately turned her mind from the reason she herself was in the cabin far from home and read on.

June 10, 1970

It took me three days to reconcile what I was feeling. Three days of avoiding being alone with Josh, so as to not tempt myself any further. Three days of enduring the nightly thrusts of my husband in our marriage bed, all the while wishing it was over.

When I could look at myself in the mirror again, assuring myself I was not a monster, I took myself back to my mother for more advice. I avoided mentioning Josh when describing my newfound feelings, but she saw right through me. After my last visit, I guess it wasn't a hard mystery to solve. I told her of the advice Nanna gave, of teaching Josh of love, and explained it was him doing the teaching instead.

I've never seen a look of sorrow such as I saw on my mother's face that day. I don't think she realized the state of my marriage, which was fine, as I hadn't either. She told me that it was a crime to go through life without passion. She never went a day without it when she wanted it, thanks to my dad, and it would be the saddest thing she knew if I went another day in a marriage without the fire of love.