The Convertible – Matron of Honor

I chuckled, “As it so happens, I’m crazy about this kid’s mother. I think I can cut him a little slack.”

Andrea entered her address into the little Garmin I carried in the TR2. Turns out, it was an address in Portola Valley. I swallowed nervously, because this happened to be the wealthiest town per capita in America, with median incomes of over $200,000. It also had the highest home prices in the nation. Shit, I was a consumer electronics sales rep who made $65k in a good year. What had I gotten myself into?

We pulled up to a driveway with a giant gate; Andrea called up an app and it slid open. The driveway itself was really long, winding about 50 yards through neatly-trimmed landscaping.

A little rattled now, I asked “Andrea, what exactly do you do for a living?”

“Oh, I’m a realtor in the Palo Alto area. I make good money, but don’t let all this fool you. It belonged to my ex-husband – I got it in the divorce.” My parent’s house in Santa Clara was nice, but it was a shotgun shack compared to his place. I felt like a street urchin.

We pulled up in front of her house; I quickly got out the Triumph and ran around to open her door for her. I was rewarded with a view of those long, beautiful legs as she swung them out of the car. As intimidated as I was, my spirits were lifted by memories of them wrapped around me during our night together.

I took her small suitcase out of the trunk and followed her, carrying it up to the front door. It swung open, and I was suddenly face-to-face with Andrea’s son.

Anthony was tall for his age, about 6’1”. I could see some of his mother’s good looks in his face, but certainly not her sunny disposition. “About time you got home, Mom.” He looked me up and down. “Who’s the dwarf? Is he your new chauffer or something?”

“Anthony, please don’t be rude. This is Daniel Parrish, he was the best man at the wedding and was kind enough to give me a drive home.”

I put my hand out, “Hello, Anthony, nice to meet you,” I blurted out nervously. He ignored me. I could understand why Andrea had asked me to be patient!

“Are you going out with him or something?” Hmm. I was interested to hear what Andrea would say myself on that one.

“Daniel and I share some interests, so he’ll probably be coming around, yes,” she replied. My heart did celebratory flips at this acknowledgement.

Anthony now spoke to me directly for the first time, in a low voice, “She’s out of your league, buddy,” he murmured, “Don’t get too comfortable, I’m betting she’ll dump you within two weeks.” Then Anthony looked out the door and spotted the TR2, and his eyes lit up.

“Oh, wow, is that your car? What kind is it?” Suddenly he was a lot less hostile. Charlotte Leopard once told me this car was a good luck charm, maybe she was right.

“Yes, she’s a restored British racing green 1955 Triumph TR2, like the two TR2s that raced in the Le Mans race of 1955. Nothing fancy about her, she’s pure sports car. If you want, I can take you for a drive. Can you drive a stick shift?”

His face fell. “No, I never learned.” I glanced at Andrea; her expression was neutral, as if waiting to see what transpired.

“If your mother doesn’t mind, I’d be willing to teach you.” I mean, why not? Everybody has to learn sometime, right?

“Seriously? You’d teach me to drive a stick in that car?”

I teased the kid, ““Well, if you don’t want to drive the TR2 I can probably go online and find a 1983 Ford Pinto instead. I’ll bet that would really impress the girls at your high school, huh?”

Anthony verbally back-pedaled, “No, it’s cool, I think the Triumph will be fine!”
Another glance, and the smile on Andrea’s face told me she approved.

Later, after Anthony went to hang out with some of his friends, Andrea and I were snuggled on her couch relaxing. She turned to me and said, “Daniel, we have to talk.”

“Oooh, sounds serious! OK, what’s on your mind?” I was making light of it, but over the years I’d learned a woman saying ‘We need to talk’ was seldom good news.

“We had a great time after the wedding, but we can’t keep going like that, especially given our living arrangements. We can’t sleep together at my house with Anthony living there, I don’t think he’d take it well at all. And since you’re currently living at your parent’s place, me staying overnight would be a bit awkward. What I’d like is for us to date like regular people for a while, and then maybe we could go to a hotel occasionally for some intimate time. Is that OK with you?”

“Andrea, whatever it takes is fine with me. Seriously, it sounds corny, but all that matters to me is that I’m with you.” Indeed, it WAS corny, but it also happened to be true. Sex could wait if it needed to. Hearing myself think that, I then thought to myself I must have lost my mind. I was having a hard time believing what I was agreeing to, but love will do that to a man.

++++++++++

I arrived Friday at 6:30pm, right on time for our scheduled date. I parked the TR2 in the driveway next to a Porsche 911 Carrera 4S. As I was walking up the front walk the door opened, and out stepped one of my boyhood heroes, former professional football wide receiver Dwight Wilson. I couldn’t believe my eyes!

As I walked closer, the football fanboy in me declared, “Wow, Dwight “Lightning” Wilson! Good old #88, 6’ 4”, 212 pound wide receiver 2nd round draft pick out of Clemson! You played 8 seasons from 1990 to 1998, and won the 1998 offensive player MVP award, then retired in 1999! Nice to meet you, I’m Daniel Parrish!” I held out my hand, thinking he’d be gracious and shake it. No such luck.

He called back over his shoulder, “Andrea, who’s this annoying kid? Is he some dweeb friend of Anthony’s?”

Andrea stepped out, closing the door behind her. “Hello, Daniel. I’m ready, let’s go.” Then she turned to Dwight, “If you must know, this man you’ve just been so rude to is my date this evening. We met when he was best man at Terri’s wedding, and he was kind enough to ask me out.”

The big man looked me up and down, turned to Andrea and snorted, “This fish is too small, throw him back.”

Looking quite vexed Andrea informed me, “Daniel, this incredibly rude lout is my ex-husband and Anthony’s father. Now you’ve seen what a great guy he ISN’T, let’s go.”

We got in the Triumph and headed for the movies, but Andrea was in such a foul mood we drove in silence; as an alternative, I suggested that maybe we just go out for drinks and talk instead. “OK, fine,” was her two-word response.

We got to the bar, and I ordered us both a vodka tonic; when I’d found out it was Andrea’s favorite adult beverage it became mine, too. As we sat in the booth, I moved over so I was sitting on the same side. Yes, OK, it was a high school move but that’s how this incredible woman made me feel. When we were together, I wanted to be as close to her as possible.

When the vodka tonics kicked in and she began to unwind, she opened up to me. “I’m sorry, Daniel, I'm in a terrible mood because of my fucking ex. When he comes over he knows how to push my buttons. He fought hard during the divorce process for equal custody, but he rarely sees Anthony. He makes big promises about things like going on vacations or going to ball games with him, but always breaks them. This is why Anthony has trust issues!

If that wasn’t bad enough, Dwight’s also a control freak. During our marriage he made all the rules in the relationship, but of course his rules only applied to me. After the divorce he lost his power over me, but that doesn’t stop him from constantly criticizing my life when he comes over.

Dwight being a former professional athlete only makes things worse, you know. Our divorce was very adversarial. He pulled out all the stops, fought me on every little thing, it was exhausting. He didn’t see our divorce as our marriage failing, he saw it as a competition, and he was determined to win.

He wasn’t above cheating, either; he even hired a guy to install a keystroke program on my computer and bug our home phone to see if he could get proof I was cheating, so he could use it in court against me! Hell, HE was the one doing the cheating! At that point, I was too busy taking care of a newborn to cheat on him!”

She stopped talking and quickly knocked back half her drink, then resumed, “Daniel I’m so sorry to burden you with this. I absolutely despise that man; if it weren’t for Anthony, I’d never see him again, he’s such an asshole.” I could see tears of frustration running down her cheeks. All I could do was take her hand and kiss it.

“Andrea, I am so sorry. I idolized Dwight for all those years, now I see who he really is, I’m flat-out disgusted. I swear to you, Andrea, even if you were to dump me tomorrow, I’d never say a word against you. I do love you, you know that, right?” I leaned over and kissed her, and it felt so right. Get a crayon and color me gone; I knew I’d never get enough of her.

++++++++++

Saturday morning I came by to pick up Anthony for his first stick-shift driving lesson. I’d located an abandoned shopping mall with a huge empty parking lot, so that’s where we headed. Once we got there, I swapped seats with Anthony and showed him the basics; finding the balance between accelerating and releasing the clutch, then remembering to push in the clutch before braking. After about an hour, he was getting pretty darn good at smoothly accelerating

The following Saturday, it was the same drill but then I showed him how to downshift, using the motor to slow the car down and saving wear on the brakes. I was a little jealous at how he was learning at much faster rate than I had.

By the end of the third Saturday, session, Anthony had truly mastered it. His shift and clutch actions were smooth and gentle, even on uphill slopes.

As I drove him home, I felt a little proud of both of us when I told him “Congratulations, Anthony, you’ve mastered a lost art!” We fist-bumped. “I’ll take you out again next week, so you can keep your skills sharp.”

Anthony was gushing, “This is great! I'll bet I can drive Dad’s car now. I wonder if he’ll let me?”

Yikes! This just got serious. I pulled the car over and turned to him. “Anthony, I don’t want to burst your bubble, but this Triumph is worth about $40,000 at auction; it’s a sweet ride, but it’s also a forgiving ride. Your father’s car is a $140,000 Porsche 911 Carrera, and is anything BUT forgiving.

This little Triumph is a 2 liter 4-cylinder with a 4-speed manual transmission that produces 94 horsepower. His Porsche is a twin-turbo 6 cylinder 7-speed stick shift that produces well over 400 horsepower! The TR2 will go 0 – 60 in 13 seconds; his Porsche will do it in 4. Any way you look at it, compared to this TR2, your Dad’s Porsche is a damned missile with seats.

On top of all that power, there’s also the weight. Think about the physics. You are I are sitting in a car that weighs just a hair under 2,000 pounds, with a top speed of 104. Dwight’s car weighs over 3500 pounds, with a top speed of 188.

Remember all that stuff you studied in science class about Newton’s Laws, mass, speed, velocity, all that? Bottom line, even if I were fearless, driving your Dad’s car would still scare me. Go ahead and ask him, but don’t be disappointed if he turns you down, OK?”

“OK, Daniel, I get it.” Anthony clearly wasn’t happy with my response, but I could tell he understood what I was saying.

+++++++++++

WEDDING + 53 DAYS: An unexpected development.

I rang the doorbell, and a moment later the door opened. It was Anthony, immediately followed by Anthony’s fist. The kid clocked me pretty good right on the chin; I went down backwards on the lawn, falling flat on my back. Before I could say a word, he began screaming at me, “YOU PIECE OF SHIT SON OF A BITCH FUCKING RAT BASTARD!”

Groaning, I rolled over onto my side and began to stand up, asking. “Dude, what’s THAT for?”

“YOU KNOCKED MY MOM UP!” He swung at me again; I quickly reared back and ducked so he missed me, but I still ended up down on my knees. Good thing too, the kid punched like a heavyweight fighter.

“What? I swear, Anthony, I didn’t know, this is all news to me!”

Then I heard Andrea shriek, “ANTHONY! LEAVE HIM ALONE! GO TO YOUR ROOM! NOW!” Wow. I’d never heard her angry, this was… impressive.

She stood over me, tears running from her eyes, and extended a hand. I took it, and she pulled me to my feet. My vision was still a little blurry; shaking my head to get my head to clear, I planted my shaky legs to avoid falling over again. She led me, still unsteady, into the kitchen and got me an icepack for my chin, then we sat at the table.

“Andrea, what’s this about? Is it true? I thought you said you were on birth control!”

“I was, but remember how I was late to the wedding rehersal because of a dental appointment? I’d been taking an antibiotic all week for a tooth infection. I’d forgotten there are some antibiotics that can neutralize birth control pills. It was all my fault, not yours.”

“Just out of curiosity, how did Anthony find out?”

“It was pretty obvious I hadn’t been feeling well the last couple of weeks. I was tired almost constantly, taking a lot of naps. I was experiencing mild cramps, which I never do. I didn’t mention it to him, of course, but I suspected something was odd when my breasts became extra tender. I was also peeing a lot more.

It was easy enough to hide all that, but the last few mornings I’ve been experiencing morning sickness. Puking my guts out is something I couldn’t hide. He put two and two together and asked me if I was pregnant. He’s my son, I couldn’t lie to him. And because you’re the only guy I’ve been dating, he figured it out.”

I felt a thrill run down my back. “Andrea, I know this was accidental, but I think it’s great! Heck, I’ll marry you tomorrow, if that’s what you want!”

Turns out what she told me next was something I did NOT want, “Daniel, I’m not sure exactly what I want to do right now. I’m 44, after all. You’re a wonderful man, but you are 18 years younger than me. Marrying you makes no sense. Having a baby makes no sense. I’m so confused. I mean, I love being with you, but I think we need to take a break while I sort things out. I just need time to think!”

My mind was spinning. Take a break? Not what I wanted, that’s for damned sure, but I couldn’t fight with her. I mean, after all, I wasn’t a controlling asshole like her ex-husband Dwight. I wasn’t going to cave without trying to persuade her to change her mind, though.

“Andrea, you know I’ve been crazy about you since Zach and Terri’s wedding. If you want to take a break, we’ll do it because it’s what you want, but don’t go thinking it’s what I want because it’s not. Not at all.

Let me tell you about my family. On their first date, my Dad decided Mom was the one, and my parents have been married through ups and downs and two kids for over 27 years; oh by the way, Mom’s pregnant again with my baby brother, her third, and she’s 47!

My Uncle Shaun was a widower so crushed after his wife died he literally sold everything and ran away; we thought we’d never see him again. Six weeks later Shaun showed up with his much younger 2nd wife, Cherry. He told me after losing his first wife he had zero interest in getting married again, but Cherry changed his mind. They’re living with their new baby in Seattle now. He’s 44, by the way, same age as you!

Andrea, please understand; in the Parrish family we fall in love by our own rules; we don’t choose love; instead, love chooses us. I just spent several weeks in the company of the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. Do you honestly think I’m just going to let that go and simply walk away?

Believe me, I’m not giving up on you! This isn’t over unless YOU say it’s over; as far as I’m concerned, I bought myself a lifetime membership in Club Andrea, and I want to be the only member. Have I made my feelings clear?”

Quietly crying now, Andrea said nothing but nodded in agreement. My heart felt sick, stuck between heartbreak and anger. “I’m going to go upstairs and try to talk to Anthony, then I’ll leave. But I don’t like it, not one damned bit.”

I went up to the second floor and knocked on Anthony’s door. “Hey bud, you in there?”

“Fuck off, shithead,” was the response - I took that as a yes.

“Listen, no hard feelings for punching me, I understand you being upset, OK? I’m not gonna lie, though you clipped me good, buddy! I’ll be hearing bells for a week.”

“Good! I wish I would have hit you harder!” One thing I respected about Anthony, the kid never hid his feelings.

“Listen, I want you to know as far as I’m concerned, we’re still buds. You’re still important to me.”

“Eat shit!” OK, that stung.

I let a little of my own bitterness out now, “Yeah, well, your mother just told me she wanted to take a break from me, so you got your wish. Every day I’m away from her is the equivalent of taking a huge bite out of a shit sandwich.”

No response to that, so I continued, “Anthony, I swear, I really love your Mom. I’ll never turn my back on her. Or you, either. I’ll always be there for both of you, I promise.” This was hard, I was getting choked up.

“I mean that. I refuse to abandon either of you, OK bud? Like it or not, you…you’re both a part of me.” Tears began to fill my eyes, but I had to finish this, “Believe me, this is not what I want! I…”

And suddenly, no more words. I was too choked up; the speech centers of my brain were clogged by my emotions. I got the hell out of the house, hopped in the Triumph, and with no destination in mind, I just fucking drove for the next 3 hours.

++++++++++

WEDDING + 70 DAYS: a terrible mishap and a confrontation.

I did my research and read that the window for safely terminating pregnancy was around 13 weeks; the clock was ticking. It had been 10 weeks since the wedding. In the one and a half weeks since Andrea told me she wanted to take a break she hadn’t called me; it was tearing me up inside. I loved and needed her, and I wanted us to raise our baby together.

I quit my job at TV Or Not TV; not only did I want to avoid awkward Andrea conversations with Zach, but given the mental shape I was in, I couldn’t have sold cold water in the desert. I didn’t have it in me. Hell, without Andrea, I didn’t have anything in me. I was an empty shell, just staying in my room.

Mom stuck her head in one morning and remarked at the mess it had become, “You know, Daniel, you’re scaring me – you’re becoming more and more like your Uncle Shaun every day, back when he was a bachelor. This is not a good look for you.”

I just turned over and pulled the covers up over my head. I thought to myself that maybe Shaun had the right idea when he ran away, except of course when he pulled his Houdini act, he had a ton of resources. I had nowhere near his bankroll. I started thinking maybe I should call him and ask if Aunt Cherry had a sister, then I dozed off again.

An hour later, my phone buzzed. I looked to see if it was some spammer, but it was Anthony! I snatched the phone up. If Andrea wasn’t calling at least Anthony was! “Anthony! Buddy! Where are you?”

The voice on the other end was not Anthony’s. “Mr. Parrish, this is Officer Simoncini of the San Mateo Police Department calling from the Crystal Springs Medical Center. Your stepson asked us to call you. Anthony was in an accident earlier this morning.”

I showered and dressed in record time, then red-lined the TR2 all the way up Highway 280. Before I left I texted Andrea, hoping she hadn’t blocked my number.

++++++++++

Anthony looked up with his one unbandaged eye when I walked in the hospital room. “Daniel, you came!” Except for his right eye, nose, and chin, he looked mummified. His left arm and left leg were also in casts. I took his right hand and squeezed it.