The Cruise, The Choice

He said, "You know, one day you're going to realize what you mean to them as a person versus what you mean to them as an employee. I wish I could be there on that day. I think the word I'm looking for is 'epiphany.' I suspect if that day ever comes, you're going to have some regrets regarding how much of your life you gave them. Have a fantastic day." He turned and walked out the door, gently pulling it behind him, when he wanted to slam it.

Monica's tears flowed after that. John just threw down the gauntlet on their marriage. If she didn't get Linda to find a way to give her some time, her marriage was probably over. This trip had started so well. Now what was she going to do? She couldn't blow off her client, but was she willing to blow off her husband?

She ordered a room service breakfast and poured herself into her work, hoping she could finish and get back to her vacation. She needed John in her life. She couldn't imagine her life without him, but how could she navigate the next few days? She had no idea.

_______________

Back in Belize, John went with the Suttons to see a Mayan temple about an hour west of Belize City. He tried to be pleasant, but they could tell that Monica's not joining them had him in a melancholy mood.

The group had a nice lunch near the shore and then toured an old rum factory, which was a hoot. The guide was really funny and knowledgeable, and of course, there were plenty of samples.

John and Andrea had a few too many samples, and as the tour went on, they began playfully teasing each other. By the time they left the tour, she was on his arm, and he wasn't pushing her away. Andrea's parents were glad they were having so much fun, but they weren't losing sight of John's being married.

The shopping on the way back to the ship was interesting. Jessie, Andrea's mom, wanted to look at one of the jewelry shops. Andrea had no interest in jewelry at that moment and dragged John into a clothing store. John would have rather gone into a cigar store across the street, but Andrea was persistent, and being a nice guy, he relented.

They were both a little inebriated and when she started asking him, "How do you think this would look on me," John's patented response was "Good, good." She was in no mood to be placated, so she found something a little more daring and asked, "What do you think about this?"

When John replied, "I'm sure you would look nice in that," it wasn't the response she was looking for.

Still a little intoxicated, she said, "I'll bet I could get your attention if I were trying on swimsuits."

Seeing an opportunity for some fun, he responded, "Prove it."

She pulled him by the hand towards the swimsuits and the changing rooms. He saw her grab a few items and enter a room. He sat down and tried not to fall asleep.

When Andrea came out a couple of minutes later wearing a fairly standard bikini, similar to the one she wore yesterday, he yawned, and she fumed. A few minutes later, the next one was from that classic song, "Itsy Bitsy Teeny-Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini," and it looked good on her. It was only slightly smaller than the one she wore yesterday, but since it was a string bikini, it tied together. He thought she should get it, but teasing her, he simply yawned again.

The third one was a white, unlined bikini about half the size of the previous one. The top triangles barely concealed the center of what looked like d-cup breasts and the bottoms would have just covered her pubic hair, if she had any because with the thin, unlined material it was fairly obvious she shaved everything but a landing strip. Yes, it was a little slutty looking, but she had a nice shape and she looked very fit.

John was intrigued by that one and snapped a quick picture with his phone.

Defiantly, she stood there with her hands on her hips, and John was about to say something when her mother came around the corner. "Andrea, I found you some earrings..." was all she got out before she saw her daughter in THAT swimsuit.

Andrea dashed back into the changing area, and her mother followed her. John stood up and walked out of the store, passing Mark along the way. "I'm sorry, Mark. I'm going back to the ship. Tell her to get the yellow one," was all he got out before he cleared the doors and hopped into a taxi. Confused, Mark continued into the store to look for his wife and daughter.

John hadn't done anything wrong. Had Monica been with the two of them, that would have been a lot of fun, and he probably could have gotten Monica to join in. But Monica wasn't with them. Alone, that scene probably wouldn't pass the "in front of the wife" test, and what was worse was that John was more than a little attracted to her in that bikini, which made him feel terribly guilty. It also pissed him off that he was in that situation because Monica couldn't say "No" to her company.

When he got back to the ship, he wasn't ready to return to his cabin. He went to the bar overlooking a pool. He'd had enough alcohol for the day, and ordered a soda while watching some children play. Watching them should have made him happy, but instead it made him sad. He wasn't sure if he was going to ever have children, because since he hadn't heard from his wife, he knew she was still working. Once again, she was choosing her job over their marriage and any future family.

Then there was the incident at the clothing store. They were pretty much just teasing each other, but he realized that he felt an interest in Andrea, not just a physical attraction. It was the first time since marrying Monica that had ever happened. That told him a lot about the state of their marriage. This cruise was having quite the opposite impact on his marriage from what they had been hoping. He made a decision and spent the next half hour browsing on his phone and making one purchase.

Much later, he could see guests, having dressed for dinner, working their way towards the various dining rooms. He checked his phone and he finally read the text she sent him twenty minutes earlier. "Where are you? Are we eating dinner together?"

He guessed that meant she could at least take a few minutes away from her laptop. "Hmmph," he thought derisively. "She'll probably keep working and order dinner in." Then he chastised himself for having such a negative thought.

He texted her back. "Running late. Go ahead without me, and I'll meet you at dinner, like last night."

Monica had already started getting ready. When she saw the text, she thought he was being snarky. He didn't intend to be. They arrived separately last night, and they could this night also.

When he returned to the cabin, he quickly showered and changed.

He found them at their normal dining table and appeared to be about halfway through their meal. He ordered his dinner but mostly picked at it, which Monica noticed. He wasn't very hungry. Except for Mark, nobody was very talkative.

Monica excused herself to go to the restroom, and while she was gone, John asked to speak to Mark outside for a minute. Once outside, Mark gave him a perplexed look, and John said, "Mark, I want to apologize about earlier. We both had a little too much to drink, and I guess we were too worked up, or too playful or too something. Damn it, it shouldn't have happened, and I'm sorry."

Mark chuckled a little and replied, "Well, first, if you truly need to apologize to someone, I don't think I'm the right person. Also, I don't know that an apology is needed. Yes, that poor excuse for a swimsuit was a little small, but the two of you weren't even near each other and you were in a store in broad daylight, so it isn't like anything could have happened. I know why you are telling me this, but I doubt that would have gone anywhere.

"However, I can tell that Andrea likes you, and you are a married man. So please be careful with her. She would never intentionally hurt your marriage. I hope you would never intentionally, or unintentionally, hurt her heart."

It pained John that Mark could even ask him that question, but he understood his asking. "No. I wouldn't. As I'm sure you've noticed, Monica and I have our own challenges. I'm too wrapped up in them at the moment to be much good to anyone else."

"Don't beat yourself up too hard, John. Marriage can be hard. Jessie and I have had our share of struggles. Andrea's ex-husband certainly wasn't the best. He worked too much, also. So I think it's been good for her to be around you; to know that not all men are like he was. I hope you and Monica can get things worked out before you have children. They change everything."

John nodded his head, agreeing.

When they returned inside, Monica tried to lighten the mood and asked about the excursion. Jessie was happy to show Monica some pictures of the temple and from the rum factory. She had a good short video of Mark, Andrea, and John tossing back a shot of rum. In that video, Monica could see the brief interaction between her husband and Andrea. After they put down the shot glasses, she watched Andrea put her hand on John's forearm. It was probably perfectly innocent, but it was a touch that she should have been giving to her husband, not someone else.

A few more pictures showed the two of them close together. Andrea didn't think anything of it at the time, but seeing those pictures now, in Monica's presence, she saw what Monica was seeing and wasn't happy with herself.

The next few pictures were of diamonds and emeralds at the jewelry store Jessie and Mark visited.

Monica turned to her husband and asked, "Did you take any pictures?"

He smiled and said, "Of course." He slid his phone towards his wife, and she unlocked it like she always did since they didn't have any secrets from each other.

As she was navigating to his picture roll, John remembered the last picture he took, which would be the first picture she saw. It all happened in the blink of an eye.

Before John could get the words out of his mouth, she was already opening the app and the first picture that popped up was the picture of Andrea in that barely-there bikini.

Monica was stunned to see that picture on her husband's phone. "What the hell?" she thought. She turned to her husband and asked, "What exactly have you guys been doing the last two days."

Andrea blanched at seeing herself in that suit and at what Monica just said.

Jessie jumped in. "Oh, hell, Monica, I was there. Nothing happened. They had a little too much to drink at the rum factory and just acted stupid while in the store. After she tried that one on, I was going to get John to try on some of those tiny, cheeky swimsuits next, but he chickened out."

That probably saved the evening. Monica looked at this little old lady, probably in her early to mid-sixties, who had been very nice to Monica and John during the cruise, and then looked at John, imagining Jessie egging him into some kind of tiny, tight swimsuit, barely covering his ass with hair hanging out everywhere. Then she burst into laughter.

"Oh, damn, Jessie. You have no idea how much I would have paid you for a picture of that. You have no idea." She kept giggling, and after a few seconds everyone at the table erupted into laughter also. Crisis avoided.

They attended a different show that evening, which they all enjoyed. Mark invited them to have some late-night drinks, but Monica declined, wanting a little quality time with her husband. They did pick up a bottle of wine to take with them. Their cruise package included all-you-can-drink alcohol.

As they were all saying their goodbyes, the goodbye between John and Andrea seemed strained, and Monica picked up on that. Somehow, she didn't feel she was getting the whole story from earlier.

Once they entered their nice cabin, John wasn't going to wait to tell his wife the truth. He was glad for the pleasant evening, but he couldn't take another day like today.

He asked, "Monica, will you sit with me outside for a few minutes while we share our wine?"

"Sure, John." No baby, or Sweetie, or any other term of endearment.

Once seated outside, with the breeze from the ship's movement blowing he said, "You didn't get the entire truth from Jessie earlier. She was indeed at the store, but she wasn't there the entire time."

Tersely Monica said, "I see. So what did she miss?"

"Not much really. Andrea dragged me into the store, which carries all kinds of women's clothing. I was still feeling the rum and wasn't in the mood to shop. She asked me what I thought about a few dresses, and when I acted bored, she dragged me to the swimsuits. Jessie missed the first two swimsuits that Andrea tried on, which were no different from something you would wear, but she saw the one in the picture. I took the picture because I had planned on all of us teasing her with it, but when Jessie showed up, Andrea and I were both embarrassed and I returned to the ship.

"I was angry with myself and angry with you for my being in that situation. I didn't hear from you, so when I got back to the ship, I went and sat for a while. That's why I was late. I didn't want another fight."

Monica put down her wine and crawled into her husband's lap. "I'm so sorry, John. I hope you know I trust you. I do." She couldn't bring herself to tell him that she had to work again tomorrow. She had no idea what it would mean for them.

John didn't need to ask, because if she didn't plan to work, it would have been the first thing she had told him.

They didn't make love that night. Monica slept glued next to her husband, or at least she tried to sleep, fearing what the next day would bring. John couldn't sleep either, because if his wife worked again tomorrow, he wouldn't be able to take it anymore. Suspecting what was about to happen ate at his soul. It was the longest night of his life.

____________

The next morning, John got up and showered like normal. When he came into the bedroom, he asked Monica, who was still waking up, if she would like for him to bring her some breakfast. She thanked him but said that she would just order it and have room service bring it. He nodded in response.

He went around the cabin tidying up his things and arranging them, so they were nice and neat. Monica lay in bed and lazily tried to watch, but since she didn't sleep well, she still wasn't quite ready to wake up. With her eyes closed, she yawned, stretched and asked, "What do you and the Suttons have planned for today in Cozumel?"

This was the ship's final port of call before another day of open sea sailing before arriving back in Miami.

"I honestly don't know. I'll have to see what they have in mind."

She smiled at him and said, "I hope you have a good day."

John sat on the edge of the bed and replied, "I hope you do, too." Then he hugged his wife tightly and kissed her passionately before saying, "I love you, Monica."

That made her feel guilty for staying behind, and the tears started to build. She sniffed and said, "I love you too, John. I wish I could show you how much."

John released his wife. Should he say it? Could he? Sweetness or bitterness? Oh, he hated this, but he had to give her one last chance. He said, "You can, you know. Show me, that is. All you have to do is come with me. We will have a great day together."

He held out his hand to help her out of the bed, hoping for what would surely be a miracle. She looked at his hand and was distraught. She knew they would have a great day. That was indisputable. She desperately wanted to take his hand. She loved him so much, but...but, she had responsibilities at work -- like $100 million worth of responsibility. She couldn't just walk out without being fired.

She reached for his hand and pulled him back towards her. Whether she saw the symbolism or not, John did. Yet again, she would not prioritize their marriage but would prioritize her work. She wanted to hang on to him, but she wouldn't leave her work for him. His sadness was almost crippling.

He sat on the bed again and hugged his wife. She was openly crying now. He hugged her one more time and got up to get her the box of tissues. She took them from him and thanked him.

John paused a moment at the door, with his hand on the door handle. If he stayed, he would be continuing to enable her behavior. No. He needed to go today.

Monica saw the hesitation and watched her husband as she wiped her nose with the tissue. She wondered what he was about to say, but he didn't say anything. He simply turned the handle and closed the door. He did not look back.

________________

More than the previous two days, Monica felt the need to reach out to John. She didn't try to call, but she did text him several times.

Late morning, she texted him:

Monica: "How's Cozumel?"

John: "Sunny & busy." He sent her a picture. It was a bustling street. It looked like the picture was taken from the back of a car.

Monica: "Have fun!"

At lunchtime, before she started eating her sandwich, she took a picture of it and sent it to him.

Monica: "When I'm eating the food on this ship, I'm thinking that we don't even have to sail anywhere, I could just stay onboard and eat. I wonder if this cruise line has any ships in the Mediterranean because we are definitely doing this again."

John: Smiley face. Then he sent her a picture of his plated tacos that he was about to eat.

Monica: When we get home, we are going out for Mexican. Those don't even look that great, but I'm missing Mexican food already.

Later in the day, she sent him another one.

Monica: "I'm looking forward to some dancing later. Are you back on the boat yet?"

John: "No."

Monica: "Okay, hurry back."

When she got out of the shower, she sent him another one.

Monica: "Where are you? I'm almost ready."

There wasn't any reply.

A few minutes later, she sent him one more.

Monica: "Answer me. I'm walking to the dining room."

Still no reply.

When Monica arrived at their dinner table, she saw Mark and Jessie, but she didn't see Andrea. She said, "Did John and Andrea come back with you, or are they shopping again?" After the picture she saw yesterday, the very thought of that made her uneasy.

Jessie said, "No. Neither of them came with us today. Andrea thinks she picked up something bad in Belize yesterday and has been in her cabin all day with an upset stomach. We've not seen, nor heard from John all day."

"What?" Then she thought, "Both of them have been missing all day?" Monica asked, "I believe you guys are on the same floor we are. What cabin is Andrea in?"

Mark innocently replied, "1307. Why?" Jessie elbowed him in the ribs for giving out that information, but Monica didn't see it. She was already moving.

Her back was facing them as she said, "I'll be right back."

With fire in her eyes, she stormed to Andrea's cabin, in less than five minutes. When she got there, she didn't even have to bang on the door. Andrea had been warned and opened the door for her.

"He's not here, Monica. I truly am sick. I've not seen, nor heard from him all day. I am feeling a little better. Thanks for asking."

Andrea did look ill and the smell inside the room certainly wasn't of sex, nor perfume trying to cover up the smell of sex. She looked again at Andrea and realized that John truly had never been there.

Monica said, "I'm sorry, Andrea. I have to find him."

Andrea replied, "Go to the Guest Services desk and see if he missed the ship in Mexico."

"Do you think he's still in Mexico? We left a couple of hours ago. How will he get on board?"

Andrea didn't have an answer that Monica would like, so she simply said, "I don't know. Go ask the guest services manager. I'm sure they'll have better answers for you than I would."

When Monica left the room, she tried calling John, but he didn't answer. It was after 8:00 pm and was dark outside. Now she was worried for his safety.