The Curious Phenomena Happening in Maine

The Curious Phenomena Happening in Maine

The answer was blowing in the wind.

This story contains elements of supernatural events and requires a suspension of disbelief on the reader's part. Enjoy it for what it is.

June 7, 2022

WFAK-TV News, Portland Maine

"Our top story tonight comes from deep in The North Woods. Two men, Richard Hunter and Bo Johnson were working in the woods early yesterday morning when they noticed many birds flying past them, heading west to east. Shortly after, the two men noticed other animals doing the same: deer, moose, bear, foxes, coyotes, even small animals like rabbits and squirrels. Mr. Hunter said,"

"Me and BJ was fixin' to take our coffee break when we saw all these critters flyin' and runnin' past us."

"News Channel 13 will update this breaking story as it develops."

June 9, 2022

WFAK-TV News

"To follow-up our story from Tuesday night, two kayakers on the Allagash Wilderness Waterway, Archer and Sophia Bragg, reported that, about 9:00 PM last evening, as they were settling into their tent for the night, they realized birds and assorted animals were passing by their tent, all heading west."

Sophia said, "We were scared to death when we looked out and saw a bear galloping by. I mean, coming from Boston, we wanted to experience the wilderness, but not like that. I mean, you don't see anything like that on Beacon Hill."

June 11, 2022

WFAK-TV News

"To try to understand the significance of these animal stampedes, here's Channel 13's Ace Meddler interview with Maine State Biologist, Buck Hart."

"Mr. Hart, can you explain the recently observed phenomena of these animal migrations?"

"Well, Ace, throughout recorded history, there have been many documented cases of animal behavior changing just prior to a catastrophic natural event such as an earth quake, volcanic eruption or tsunami. Since there is no practical way to monitor and observe an event that hasn't yet happened, we don't have any conclusive scientific evidence to support any conclusions. The most common theories are that the animals can detect very subtle underground rumblings or, in the case of a volcano, they may also sense a change in the components and thus the smell of the air. What's different here is that these migrations are happening on consecutive days and both in the early morning and the evening.

"Yesterday, Rangers on top of Mt. Katahdin noted animals moving from the north to the south both in the morning and the evening. We now have evidence that the epicenter of these migrations occurs north of Baxter State Park, east of the Allagash and west of Presque Isle. Reports indicate that, after a period of time, the animals return to their native habitats."

June 15, 2022

WFAK-TV News

"Today, Channel 13's Ace Meddler interviewed Jovian Roswell, President of the Coalition for Responsible Alien Publicizing, headquartered in Tallahassee, Florida."

"Mr. Roswell, what is CRAP's position on the animal migrations occurring in the Maine North Woods?"

"Ace, based on our analysis of the events, we're convinced that an alien ship has landed and is periodically emitting signals to the mothership in preparation for a full-scale invasion in the near future. Our sources within the government have confirmed this."

"Who are your sources?"

"I'm afraid we can't disclose that information at this time. It would put our sources at risk of 'disappearing'"

June 19, 2022

WFAK-TV News

"Partly based on the reporting of Channel 13's Ace Meddler, we have learned that the USAF has dispatched an E-3 AWACS aircraft to monitor the evolving situation in the North Woods. USAF spokesperson Colonel Jock Wingwalker had no comment.

June 22, 2022WFAK-TV News

"WFAK has learned that the USAF has had one or more E-3 AWACS in a constant flight pattern over northern Maine. In addition, the USAF has three F-35's, from the Vermont National Guard, patrolling the airspace over the North Woods as well as a KC-46 Tanker to keep them refueled. Our news team has learned that the bizarre animal migrations are continuing on a regular basis."

June 25, 2022

WFAK-TV News

"WFAK has learned that the Maine State Police, Units of the Maine National Guard, members of Homeland Security, U.S. Customs and Border Protection, the CIA and an elite Army counter terrorism unit have all assembled in Presque Isle for what we have learned is called Operation Safe Animal.

"We contacted USAF Spokesperson, Colonel Wingwalker, who said,"

"Our AWACS have geolocated the epicenter of the suspected cause of these animal migrations. Currently, all of Maine north of Baxter State Park is a no-fly airspace for civilian aircraft until further notice. All other details of Operation Safe Animal are classified."

"WFAK spoke with the Mayor of Presque Isle, Forest Scout, who said,"

"There must be over 400 people in this task force. They are using the high school as a Command Post. There are three UH-60 Blackhawk helicopters and a couple of dozen Humvees standing by in the school parking lot. I hunt in the area that they've identified. There's nothing out there but trees, rivers and streams, a few lakes and mountains. There are some barely passable dirt roads, a couple of logger's camps, an abandoned mine and I met one hippy couple living off the grid."

June 26, 2022

WFAK-TV News

"Channel 13 has learned that the task force of Operation Safe Animal has arrested a couple, Harmony and Ziggy Fox at the geolocation at the center of the strange animal migrations in the North Woods. No further information is available at this time."

June 27, 2022

WFAK-TV News

"WFAK has learned that the couple arrested yesterday have been released after the task force completed a thorough search of their home and property."

Harmony Fox told Channel 13 News, "We have no comment at this time."

"An unidentified spokesperson for the task force said,"

"There are some 'unique acoustical characteristics' at the Fox's location that caused the unusual animal migrations. The causative factors have been addressed and this classified case is closed. No further comment will be made."

July 14, 2022

WFAK-TV News

"Breaking news. Channel 13's Ace Meddler has discovered the cause of the animal migrations in the North Woods. Take it away, Ace."

"The WFAK news team approached the Acoustical Engineering Dean at U-Maine Orono, Professor Aural Meister, to see if he could help us understand what happened in the North Woods. Professor Meister, along with Biologist Buck Hart agreed to accompany us to the Fox's property. Since this is located in a remote area, and there was no phone service available, we arrived unannounced.

"Harmony and Ziggy were working in their garden when we arrived. They were not enthusiastic about talking with us. I explained that we just wanted their side of the story. Eventually, they agreed, provided we didn't divulge their location and didn't take any video.

Ziggy explained, "My grandparents were of the Hippy Generation and started this homestead in the 1960's. They bought 250 acres from one of the lumber companies, which had selectively lumbered it about 10 years earlier. It was passed on to their son, my father and, last year, passed on to me."

Harmony picked up from there. "Ziggy and I were married last year and moved in. Once it became warm this year we started making love on the porch. We are both rather loud when we come. Evidently the unique acoustics of this area both amplified and created lower frequency harmonics that frightened the animals."

"With the instruments he brought, Professor Meister was able to generate some specific audio frequencies. Together with Mr. Hart, they were able to observe that this is what caused the animal migrations. Harmony and Ziggy were able to correlate the days and times they made love with the reported animal migrations. Harmony and Ziggy agreed with the government task force to either not make love on their porch or if they do it outside, to find a different location.

"So, folks, there is nothing to worry about. There won't be an alien invasion, nor are we expecting an earthquake or volcano in the North Maine Woods. Back to you."

August 24, 2022

WFAK-TV News

"Through a Freedom of Information Act request, WFAK has learned that the investigation into the mysterious animal migration of last June, caused by a couple making love outside, in the middle of their 250 acres, cost the taxpayers over $14,000,000. This was primarily driven by the $39,587 hourly cost to fly the E-3s; the $35,426 hourly cost for the F-35's; the $26,243 hourly cost for the KC-46's. The mobilization of over 575 personnel, the Blackhawks and the Humvees, significantly added to the overall cost. Our sources believe the $14,000,000 number is on the low side."

Thanks for reading and allowing your imagination to suspend the laws of physics. Please take a moment to vote and comment.

Guy

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