The Descent Ch. 03

Sharon's hand trembled a bit as she reached for the garage door entrance to her home, wary about her ability to appear anything other than what she was feeling—guilty. She knew that Jim was home as evidenced by his vehicle parked in the garage and she knew that there would be no hiding the fact that she was inebriated. What she was unsure of was how keenly Jim would be of the smell of sex and sweat on her and how nonchalantly she could head straight to the shower. Sharon turned the handle and inhaled sharply, half expecting Jim to be waiting on the other side of the door staring at her with his arms crossed.

When the door swung open, Sharon was greeted by a dark kitchen and no movement or sound. Sharon stepped into the house and took a moment to listen for any signs of Jim before closing the door quietly behind her. She breathed a sigh of relief as she marveled at the prospect of heading to the shower unimpeded. She placed her purse on the small table next to the door and headed upstairs, making a direct bee-line toward the master bathroom which extended off the bedroom.

As Sharon stepped into the bedroom a soft snoring drew her attention to the bed where Jim was fast asleep. Sharon smiled to herself at her good fortune and quietly collected her nightgown and clean panties and headed to the bathroom unnoticed. Stepping into the shower Sharon was finally able to conceive of a scenario where her infidelity would be concealed, and it gave her a moment to contemplate what that meant for her.

In the heat of the moment, overcome with lust and emboldened by the disinhibiting influence of alcohol, Sharon had given herself to the idea of a wholesale lifestyle change. The idea of embracing her sexual awakening completely unrestrained by the morays of her marriage was exciting and appeared to be the ultimate expression of her new persona. However, now that she had gained some distance on the event and mulled over the ramifications of what could have happened if Jim had met her at the door and pieced the evidence together—she was feeling far different.

Exploring the repressed passions of her previously undiscovered sexual deviance was one thing but blowing up her marriage and her family to do so was a high price. Sharon resolved to let this one indiscretion be a lesson in impulse control and endeavored to restrain her carnal pursuits to the domains previously agreed upon by herself and Jim. The showering experience was just as much about rinsing the physical imprints of her deceptions from her body as it was about cleansing her mental and emotional perceptions of the event from her mind. Stepping out of the shower she felt an aura of peace wash over her now that her priorities had been realigned and her feelings crystalized.

Once dry, Sharon could not seek the comforting cocoon of warmth provided by her bed soon enough. A dreamless and restorative sleep took her quickly.

Jim never even asked Sharon about that night and Sharon figured he'd deduced her lunch with Barb had run long—for obvious reasons—and turned into an early dinner. Being a weekend off for the swinger group Saturday and Sunday passed quietly, with lots of sleeping and work around the house for both Jim and Sharon. The renewed sense of closeness as a result of their new lifestyle continued to propel Sharon and Jim into a new chapter of intimacy in their marriage. By the time Thursday arrived Sharon had almost completely forgotten about her encounter with Jared the week before.

Barb's tardiness was resumed, and Sharon was halfway through her Long Island Iced Tea before she arrived.

"Started without me I see?" Barb commented, noticing the half empty glass.

"Can't help it if I'm on time," Sharon jabbed playfully.

Barb feigned offense and smiled, completely used to their dynamic after so many years of friendship. It took only a few minutes for Barb to have ordered and nearly caught up with Sharon's progress in downing her drink.

"I'm not really hungry today," Sharon mused in-between light conversation about their uneventful weeks.

"Fine with me, I mostly just get something because I don't want you to eat alone. I'm fine with just getting another one of these," Barb commented, motioning towards her nearly empty glass.

"Count me in," Sharon replied, eliciting an approving gleam from her friend.

"I need a cigarette first though, you coming?" Barb asked almost rhetorically, fully expecting Sharon to decline after their previous weeks experiment.

"Sure," Sharon challenged, somewhat surprising herself but subconsciously driven by the desire to exhibit her new persona and shock her friend in the process.

"Really? Hmm, alright then," Barb retorted with incredulity.

The two women walked to the parking lot together, with Barb shaking out an all-white Marlboro Light 100 before reaching the door. The moment they stepped out she was cupping her hands around the flame of her recently sparked lighter and puffing out a mouthful of smoke.

"I'm guessing there won't be another smoking attempt?" Barb joked, before tilting her head up dramatically and releasing a cone of smoke into the blue sky from her red painted lips.

Maybe it was the smugness of her friend or the strong desire to wipe that knowing smirk from her face or the utter relief that had washed over her friend as she exhaled the smoke, but Sharon reached her hand out.

"You're serious? Do you remember last week?" Barb questioned.

"Practice makes perfect," Sharon replied, her hand still outstretched.

"Okay, but this time you need to take it easy. Let me coach you a bit," Barb replied, taking one final drag off the cigarette before transferring it to Sharon's hand.

Sharon accepted the long all-white cigarette and marveled at how foreign it looked between her fingers.

"Okay, so this time just suck a little bit and then breath in slowly," Barb explained.

"Why didn't you mention this last time?" Sharon queried.

Barb smirked, fighting back a laugh.

"You wanted me to cough, didn't you?" Sharon shot, narrowing her eyes at her friend.

Sharon stuck out her pointer finger and thumb in a 'just a bit' gesture while continuing to smile.

"You bitch," Sharon replied in mock anger.

"I'm sorry! I had to get you back for that whole bad girl routine you were doing at lunch. Plus, I didn't want you to like it, smoking is a filthy habit after all," Barb explained half-heartedly.

Sharon rolled her eyes at Barb's attempt to appear as anything other than the corrupting influence she had always been.

"What? Only you can change?" Barb continued.

Sharon rolled her eyes again.

"Whatever just smoke the damn thing already, you're wasting it," Barb pressed playfully.

Sharon watched her hand bring the white cylinder to her face and then between her lips. She clasped her lips around the filter of a cigarette for only the second time in her life and applied a modest amount of suction. As soon as Sharon became aware of smoke being in her mouth, she extracted the cigarette from her lips took a slow, measured breath in. Sharon's lungs rebelled against her attempts to saturate them with smoke, but she successfully endured the desire to cough. After another second, she pursed her lips and exhaled a thin, wispy stream of smoke.

"Damn girl, you did it," Barb exclaimed somewhat proudly.

"Yeah, now that you're not sabotaging me," Sharon fired back.

"Yeah, yeah, you had it coming. Now give it back already," Barb replied, extending her hand toward Sharon expectantly.

Sharon reflexively pulled her hand back without thinking about it, once again unsure of where this desire was coming from. She had always hated smoking. But it was an undeniable thrill for her to do something that she knew she shouldn't be doing and even more so something that no one would expect her to do.

"Fine, I guess I'll light another one," Barb said while watching her non-smoking friend take another small drag.

Sharon didn't even bother to respond, instead allowing the stream of smoke she was exhaling to do the talking.

"I swear, I think you might be a pod person or something," Barb concluded as she lit herself another cigarette.

The two women continued smoking their cigarettes in silence, with Barb often looking at her friend with a dumbfounded expression on her face almost unwilling to accept what she was seeing.

Sharon didn't quite make it through the entire cigarette before light-headedness dictated that she cut it short. Surprisingly, Sharon didn't mind the sensation and even enjoyed the slight buzz that seemed to accompany the one from her long island iced tea quite nicely.

Before they'd finished their second drinks each woman had smoked two more cigarettes and Sharon felt as if she finally understood why people always smoked when they were drinking. When they parted ways, they both expressed excitement at attending the next swinger party the following day.

For the third time in last 7 days Sharon jumped into her vehicle and drove home while drunk. It was something that she had once called selfish and reckless but like so many things recently had become almost routine. Smoking, drinking, sleeping with men other than her husband—the person Sharon was becoming scared and excited her. Maybe it was because she was 46 and had already accomplished so much and the thought of 'ruining' her future wasn't really on the table, but Sharon hadn't really considered any of the potential repercussions her current lifestyle may have. Instead, it seemed like a just reward for a life lived responsibly and a multitude of personal and professional accomplishments that spanned decades.

Sharon recognized that this must be the same perception Barb had, although she'd never really abstained from risky behavior despite being very successful in her own right. So, if they'd both ended up in roughly the same spot and having both been successful professionally and as mothers and wives, why had Sharon deprived herself of all these things? She pondered this thought as she pulled into her garage next to Jim's vehicle. Sharon was happy to see that he was already home and relished the thought of spending some time with him.

Jim was sitting on the couch with the TV on but staring at his tablet instead of watching whatever was on.

"Hey hon," Jim called without looking up.

"Hey, how was your game?" Sharon asked.

"Oh, it was fine. We usually don't even keep score. Just nice to get out of the house and shoot the shit with Rich," Jim explained.

"How's he doing?" Sharon continued, while staring into the fridge for something to make for dinner.

"He's good. Really looking forward to tomorrow night. I kind of feel like he's expecting us not to go," Jim chuckled.

"Really? He thinks we're bullshitting?" Sharon asked.

"I don't know, maybe he just can't accept it or picture us as swingers. I think he's gonna be pretty surprised. What about Barb?" Jim followed.

"Oh, she's dumbfounded. She probably thinks I have a brain tumor or something. I don't think she can accept it either," Sharon explained.

"Well, I can't really blame them. This is totally out of character for us. And just now getting into it? At our age? It must seem pretty surreal," Jim reasoned.

"It seems pretty surreal to me too, but it's all going to become very real tomorrow night," Sharon expressed.

"Yeah, maybe we should talk about that," Jim replied.

"What do you mean?" Sharon questioned.

"Well, I know we're going 'with' Rich and Barb, but are we like, with them while we're there?" Jim asked.

Sharon thought about that for a moment, only now assessing the reality of attending a swinger party with their best friends.

"I don't know, would that be weird if we, I mean we're best friends," Sharon stumbled, trying to talk through her thoughts.

"It sounds weird, it feels weird when I think about it. Is that a line we want to cross? It seems like it's blurring the edges of our personal lives and our swinger lives, right?" Jim offered.

"It does, kind of. But, why else would we be there with them? And are we sure they are even thinking of it that way? What has Rich said?" Sharon continued.

"Not much, about the specifics. I do know that he's always thought you were attractive though. If he thinks he has my blessing to pursue it, I'm sure it's crossed his mind what could happen," Jim explained.

Sharon reflexively winced, imagining Rich as anything but a friend and Barb's husband was difficult.

"I mean, what do you think of him coming on to you?" Jim asked plainly.

Sharon thought about it for a moment. Rich wasn't a repulsive man. He was clean, well-dressed, and hilarious. But physically he wasn't Sharon's type. Rich was a large man, probably about 6'3" and 250lbs. Compared to the 5'10" 160lb slender frame of Jim, Rich appeared to be a bit brutish. But again, he wasn't a hideous man it was just that the thought of a man that large having his way with her was a bit intimidating.

"He's very big," Sharon expressed with raised eyebrows.

"He is," Jim agreed.

"What about Barb? If I'm with Rich, that means you'd be with Barb. How do you feel about that?" Sharon volleyed back to Jim.

Jim creased his brow and drew his lips tight, doing a half shake of his head.

"Well, she's certainly a pretty woman. But she's a handful," Jim mused.

He was right. Sharon's tall, thin, redheaded friend was sexy and had always been a head-turner but it took a special person to endure her boisterous personality for any amount of time.

"I have sort of a weird question," Sharon blurted.

Jim looked to his wife quizzically.

"Does the fact that Barb smokes turn you off?" Sharon asked, seemingly out-of-the-blue.

Jim tilted his head back a moment to process the question but offered a quick shake of his head.

"Nah, doesn't really affect me either way," Jim answered flatly.

"So, you wouldn't have any problem kissing her? The whole ashtray mouth thing?" Sharon pressed.

Jim creased his brow, a bit of confusion on his face.

"Not really, no. Why are you asking?" Jim countered.

"Just curious I guess," Sharon replied.

But Jim wasn't dumb, and he'd detected something there.

"No, there's something going on. Did Barb say that she was worried about it or something?" Jim pressed.

Sharon laughed a bit to herself.

"You and I both know Barb wouldn't give a shit either way," Sharon replied.

"So, what is it?" Jim followed.

"I might have had a few cigarettes today," Sharon said through a smirk.

"You what?" Jim said stunned.

"Yeah, I went out with Barb for her smoke breaks and tried it and it was a nice compliment to the alcohol," Sharon explained as nonchalantly as she could.

Jim sat in stunned silence for a moment before settling on a response.

"But you hate smoking," Jim uttered half to himself.

"I did, I mean I do. I don't know, I've been rethinking some things lately," Sharon mused to herself out loud.

"Rethinking? I think the research is in for smoking hon. Turns out it's pretty bad for you," Jim joked.

"I know, I don't mean it that way. I've been rethinking how I want to live, how I've been living. This has been a really weird time for me," Sharon explained.

"I get that, I know what you mean. But smoking? Why even tempt it?" Jim continued pressing.

"Because people enjoy it. Barb enjoys it. The look she gets when she takes a drag off one of those things is obvious. Just seemed like why not try it? I'm 46, am I really going to die of lung cancer after smoking a couple cigarettes? I just want to try things, all the things that I never tried when I was young. I think I've earned it, don't you?" Sharon ranted.

Jim processed his wife's words for a few moments to himself before shrugging.

"Sure, I say do whatever makes you happy. We've paid our dues, raised a family, made a lot of money. I don't see a problem," Jim agreed.

"I don't know if I'll ever smoke another cigarette as long as I live, but it's just how I feel about everything. What are we waiting for?" Sharon added.

"Yeah, you're right. It's not like we're panhandling for heroin," Jim joked.

"Well, not yet," Sharon said with a wink.

Jim let out a hearty chuckle at that one, to which Sharon joined in. After a few more moments of silence Jim turned back toward his wife.

"So, smoking huh? I never would've guessed that one," Jim mused.

"Yeah, me neither. Most people don't experiment with their first cigarette at 46," Sharon said through a chuckle.

"It took a while, but Barb's negative influence finally rubbed off on you," Jim cracked.

"You'd be surprised, she kind of fought it at first," Sharon explained.

"Wow guess she's grown up a bit," Jim noted.

"Yeah, a bit," Sharon added with an obvious emphasis on the last word.

"Do you have one on you?" Jim asked.

"One what?" Sharon replied.

"A cigarette," Jim clarified.

"Oh no, I didn't buy my own pack or anything. I just bummed a few from Barb. Why?" Sharon asked a bit confused.

"I don't know, kind of one of those things I can't picture. Figured it might be interesting to see you with a cigarette," Jim mused a bit playfully.

"Interesting?" Sharon queried.

"Yeah, I mean. It's kind of an image thing. The bad girl with the cigarette and all that. The idea is kind of sexy I guess," Jim explained.

"Really? Now I'm surprised," Sharon smiled.

"Well, if they smoke, they poke and all that. The bad girl from the wrong side of the tracks is a bit of fantasy for most men, I think. Or maybe just for private school, Ivy leaguers like me," Jim expanded.

"Why have you never told me about this?" Sharon asked with wide eyes.

"It's kind of an embarrassing cliché isn't it? The buttoned-down businessman who fantasizes about the naughty girl? Plus, it isn't something I've even thought about since I was in my 20's," Jim explained.

Sharon laughed to herself and shook her head.

"This just gets weirder and weirder, doesn't it?" she asked.

"Better late than never, I suppose," Jim said through his own laugh.

"Who knew we had so much untapped kink inside us all these years?" Sharon asked herself and Jim simultaneously.

Finally, Sharon moved from her perch in the kitchen and joined Jim on the couch—snuggling up and hugging him warmly.

"I'm glad we're in this together. Discovering this new side of ourselves as a team," Sharon whispered into Jim's sweater-clad chest.

"Me too, sweetheart," Jim murmured softly into his wife's hair.

The next day started late as both Jim and Sharon slept in, anticipating a wild night and needing to recuperate from staying up and talking into the early hours of the morning the previous evening. As the sun fell both Jim and Sharon's excitement grew, as well as anxiety. There was so much that could not be anticipated about what would happen, and with whom, that both had significant butterflies in their stomachs in anticipation of all the possibilities.

The night would begin with Rich and Barb meeting them at their house and all of them riding to the hotel together. Sharon had decided to wear something a bit more risqué this time, opting for a silky red dress with a deep v-neck that exposed a healthy amount of cleavage and flowed loosely to her mid-calf. She topped it off with red lipstick, red nails, and a pair of expensive black heels. Sharon knew she looked good and it made her feel amazing. Jim, for his part, had a 'if it ain't broke' mentality—settling on black slacks and a slim-fitting charcoal-colored button up.

As the headlights of Barbs car flashed through the large windows in the living room the realization that it was really happening washed over Sharon. She contemplated the idea that she would possibly be engaging in sexual activities with her best friend's husband as well as her husband's best friend. Interestingly, the idea that Jim would be with Barb was less pervasive and seemed to take a backseat to her own fate this evening.