The Dilemma

I sat back down and Candace went to the kitchen. I leaned my head back, and closed my eyes. My head was swimming. Three iced teas and I was potted - three large, strong iced teas...but still, what a lightweight.

I awoke with a headache and my back hurting. It was dark and I was confused. I sat up and my head throbbed. Ugh. I looked around in the dim light. I was on a couch, with a blanket half covering me. I tossed the blanket aside. I was in my underwear. What the hell? I realized I needed to pee. I stood up and promptly hit my shin on a coffee table.

"Ouch, damn!"

A light went on somewhere in the house and Candace came out in a nightie.

"You okay? You're awake."

"I need the bathroom."

"Are you going to be sick?"

"No, just need to pee."

"This way."

She led me to the powder room and turned on the light. I closed the door and relieved myself. When I came out, Candace was waiting.

"You okay now?"

"Got a bit of a headache."

"I'll get you some Tylenol. Would you like some coffee?"

"No, just the Tylenol and a big glass of ice water."

She went to the kitchen and I sat down on the sofa. She came back and sat next to me.

I realized I was sitting there in my underwear and wondered where my clothes were. I didn't remember undressing.

"Did you undress me?" I asked as she handed me the pills and water.

"Yes, but I didn't peek. I promise," she replied, playfully.

"How did you get me undressed?"

"It wasn't easy."

As I downed the pills and drained the glass of water, I realized Candace was sitting there in a skimpy, gauzy nightie. I could make out her breasts, and her fabulous legs were on full display. She saw me looking.

"Sorry," I lamely responded.

"It's okay. How do I compare to Lisa?"

"You don't. I mean, nobody compares to you. You are still the most beautiful woman I ever met," I replied, being more candid than I meant to.

"Thank you," she demurred, dropping her eyes.

I set the glass down, and looked up. Candace met my gaze. Then she leaned forward and kissed me, gently placing a hand on my cheek. I would say I was taken aback, but I wasn't. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. As she kissed me, she moved her hand behind my head, then ran her other hand over my chest. I reached for her and pulled her to me. She wrapped her arms around me and mashed her breasts into my chest. I felt her tongue on my lips and I surrendered. I ran my hands over her shoulders and back - all so familiar to me. I felt her hand on my leg and my cock surged. She found it and ran her hand the length of it.

That brought me out of my reverie, and I broke off from kissing her.

"Candace..."

"Make love to me. Make love to me, now, right now. No one will know. Lisa won't know. Please, Sean. I need you. I need you to love me."

I flashed back to Jan and a similar situation - a situation where I didn't have the wherewithal to say no, either. I certainly didn't have it now. This was my wife, the woman I'd made love to hundreds of times; well, she had been my wife...but Lisa...

Without me answering, Candace stood and pulled me up from the couch and led me to her bedroom.

I was utterly helpless...and ashamed.

Candace walked up to the bed, released my hand, and pulled her nightie off over her head, then shook out her long, auburn mane. She looked stunning. Her alabaster skin practically glowed in the light of the bedside lamp. Her full breasts lay perfectly on her chest, and her large, dark areolae with their pinky-sized nipples beckoned to me. I couldn't resist and leaned down and captured one in my mouth as I reached for her other breast with my hand. I felt her hand on the back of my head, lightly pressing me into her. I nibbled and sucked the familiar nipple. She brought her other hand up and ran it over my back. Her touch was electric on my skin.

I released her and she reached and slid her panties down and kicked them off, then took hold of my boxers and pulled them down, dropping to her knees. I stepped out of them as she took hold of my semi-erect penis and engulfed it. Candace has a deep mouth and an amazing technique, the way she swirls her tongue around the head and sucks lightly. I went fully erect almost immediately.

She looked up, "I love this cock. I've missed it, baby, so much. Take me now. I'm ready; no foreplay; I just want you in me."

With that she crawled on the bed and lay down. I looked at her magnificent body, her dark hair fanned out around her beautiful face, and I ached for her. I crawled between her silky thighs and bent down, engaging her sex with my mouth, her beautiful vulva, covered in downy, auburn pubic hair. She was already very moist. And I knew she said no foreplay, but I had to taste her, take in the familiar scent of her musk. After pausing, to taste her sex, feel her lips, and smell her womanly aroma, she pulled me up and I scooted in position as she grasped my erection and pulled me to her, mashing my head against her opening. She worked it up and down for a moment, then nodded. I pushed forward, and she urged me on with her hands on my buttocks, forcing me forward till my head slipped between her lips and into her wet, warm vagina.

"Oh, I remember this big boy...so nice," she moaned.

I slowly sunk in all the way till I felt my head mash up against her cervix and our groins come together. Then I started long, slow thrusts, relishing the feel of her, the heat of her sex on my cock. She locked eyes with me and nodded.

"Yes, baby, fuck me, take me, make me cum, then fill me."

I took my time, and focused, controlling my urge to go faster, to reach my own climax, and paced myself, taking enjoyment from pleasing her, slowly bringing her to orgasm, like I had so many times before. As I slowly long-stroked, I bent forward and captured a fat nipple in my mouth and sucked hard, as she likes. She arched her back and moaned.

"Okay, faster now, baby, a little harder."

I gradually picked up the pace and thrust more forcefully as she became more animated, more vocal.

"Ungh, yes, yes, yes, baby, give it to me. Give me your love...oh, mm, getting close...oh I've missed this...oh, oh, now, faster, pound me!"

I started thrusting with abandon, my cock now swelling to its fullest. Her vagina started contracting around my shaft squeezing and releasing, squeezing and releasing. Her hips started ratcheting up to meet my thrusts as we smacked together, bam, bam, bam. Then I lost control and started hammering her. She began swearing and shaking, mounting her orgasm.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, going to cum...going to cum...give it to me...ugh, fuck, yes, yes, yes, baby, ungh, cumming...OH, CUM-M-MING!"

She exploded, head curled forward, stomach muscles rippling, breasts shuddering with the pounding, and I exploded with her and came in a glorious rush, spewing semen deep into her. I came so hard it made my balls ache. Then I collapsed and she wrapped her arms around me and crushed me to her.

When I calmed down, I sat up and she released me, placing a hand on my cheek. Her eyes were wet with tears that trickled down the sides of her face. Neither of us spoke, just looked at each other for the longest time.

Finally she wiped at her eyes, "Thank you baby, thank you for not denying me this."

"I was helpless. I couldn't resist you. I never could," I replied.

She rolled me over, keeping my semi-hard cock in her as she did, then sitting on me, she leaned down, pressing her breasts into my chest and kissed me, then lay there, head tucked into the crook of my neck. As she did, she started flexing her vaginal muscles, massaging my cock.

"Are you trying to get me hard again?" I asked.

She lifted up and grinned, "Do you think you can get it up again?"

"If you keep that up."

She started moving ever so slightly in a small rocking motion, continuing to flex her vaginal muscles. I felt myself growing. She smiled and closed her eyes, increasing the rocking motion.

Long and short of it, she screwed me into a coma. Just as well. I felt so damn guilty I didn't want to be conscious.

I awoke with my bladder busting. I was lying on my back, with my ex-wife draped across me, arm over my chest, leg across my groin.

Well, fuck!

I looked at my watch. It was after six a.m. I needed to take a leak, then jump off a cliff.

I extricated myself from Candace and padded to the toilet. While I was peeing, she came in.

"I'm next," she smiled.

I attempted a smile, but apparently it wasn't convincing.

"Sean? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, sure, fine. Your turn," I replied, and went to wash my hands.

Candace sat down, but didn't take her eyes off me, "You don't seem fine."

"Mm, yeah, I guess not."

"You regret making love to me?" she asked, sounding a little upset.

"Baby, I don't, but I do."

"I'm sorry, but I don't," she replied.

I nodded.

"You really care for Lisa, don't you?"

"Yes, I do...but, it's more than that. I...I feel like a heel...sleeping with her, sleeping with you...It's not right. I feel like I was tested and failed."

She finished, flushed and moved to the sink to wash her hands, "Sean, I don't know what to tell you. I know I took advantage of you, took advantage of our relationship. I didn't play fair...but I'm not going to. I'm sorry, but like I said, I'm not sorry. I'm glad we made love. I am sorry about Lisa, but I'm going to fight for you...for us."

"But what now? I'm going to see Lisa again, and I don't know how that's going to go. I may sleep with her again, cheat on you, like I cheated on her. I mean, that's what I'm doing, right? I'm sleeping with two women. I know Lisa will look at it as cheating. And how will you feel if I sleep with her after this?"

"Sean, I don't want you to sleep with her, but I understand if you do. Look, because we slept together doesn't mean you owe me fidelity. You never made that commitment to me. I would love it if you did, but it's obvious you're not ready to do that. And I did take advantage of you. I promise I won't do that again. The next time we sleep together, it will be because you choose to."

"My head hurts...and I need a shower."

"I'll get you some Tylenol...Um, listen, if you'll let me get a quick shower, I'll make some breakfast while you shower, okay?"

"Sure. And I'm sorry I can't just say, it's all fine. I'll forget Lisa and..."

She put a finger to my lips, "Let it go for now. I understand. I do."

She brought back the pills and a glass of water, then jumped in the shower. I watched her beautiful backside as she entered the stall, and I wanted to join her but resisted. I went and gathered my clothes, instead.

After she dried off, I got in, and it felt very familiar, very domestic, but this wasn't another day in our life together. She wasn't my wife, and I wasn't her husband.

When I was dressed, I made my way to the kitchen. Candace was just putting eggs in a skillet. I knew she would make them over-medium, as we both like. She had made bacon and country potatoes with bell pepper and onion - as we like.

"Could you set the table, hon?" she asked without looking up.

'Hon' - so familiar. I went to the cupboards and found dishes, organized in a way that was familiar, and started setting the table. Then I went to the fridge and got the orange juice - which we always had with an egg breakfast - familiar. None of it escaped my attention.

As we finished eating, I said I had to get going.

"Sean, thank you. I know this wasn't what you planned or wanted, but it has meant a lot to me. It let me know...it reinforced what I felt was true, that we belong together. And I know I said I wasn't going to fight fair, but...I understand, I have to approach this differently. I haven't been fair to you. I am sorry for that. So, the next move is up to you. I won't call you. I won't. But know this, I will be right here, waiting."

We stood and walked to the door. She hugged me, pecked me on the cheek and I left. On the way to my place, I called Jan and let her know I wouldn't be in till later.

X. CONFRONTATIONS

Later that morning, Rebecca called and said she could meet me for lunch on Thursday to go over the ski resort properties. Under different circumstances, I would have flipped Gordon to her, but it wouldn't have been appropriate in this case.

"How about lunch, Sean. I have a 2:30 appointment, and that will probably take up the rest of my day, or we can meet tonight, sometime."

"Lunch will be fine, Becca. You pick."

"Chinese sounds good. Haven't had it in a while."

"Chinese it is. Our usual place?"

"Yes, and I'll meet you there if that's okay. See you at noon?"

"Perfect. Thanks Becca."

Thursday morning was hectic and that was a blessing. It kept my mind off Candace and Lisa. At eleven, I got my notes together in preparation for meeting with Rebecca, then headed out. She had a table and was waiting when I arrived at the restaurant, but was on the phone when I slid into the booth. She smiled and mouthed "One minute," and indicated for me to order drinks. I ordered jasmine tea and waters with lemon, then looked at the menu.

"Sorry. So how you doing? You don't look so hot," Rebecca observed when she got off the phone.

"No, I'm fine. Busy morning," I replied.

"Bullshit, Sean. Business never makes you have 'that' look."

"You're too sharp, Becca."

"The only time you look like this is when you have woman troubles."

"Again, you're too sharp, but I really need to pick your brain on this resort property."

"Okay, fine, but then you're going to talk or I'll beat it out of you," she playfully threatened, but I knew I was going to have to tell her something.

Rebecca is formidable, and I've never been able to get anything past her. After we ordered our food, I poured tea and I filled her in on my client and his requests.

"Oooh, I like that. He made it simple. I can definitely help. In fact, I know a couple properties off the top of my head that I previewed with another client that may fit the bill, and from what you've told me, I can tell you where not to look."

When our food arrived, we continued to talk through lunch. By the time we were done eating, I had a much better handle on what to look for and where.

"Okay, doll, I want to hear all about it, but let's go next door, have some liquid lunch. It will be quieter there," she said, giving me no option.

At one o'clock, the small bar was almost empty. We found a semi-secluded table and ordered drinks.

"Okay," I started, "it's like this, I'm seeing a very nice woman, and things have developed to a point where we're serious about each other..." I paused, trying to decide how much I wanted to tell her.

"I haven't heard that from you in a while," she quickly put in, "but what's the problem. You look distressed."

"Well...I guess you're not going to leave me alone till I tell you."

She just smiled and waited.

I spit it out, "It's my ex."

"Candace? What has she done? I thought everything was copasetic with you two."

"Mm, yes, that's not the problem...In a nutshell, she wants to get back together."

"And you're in this relationship. I see. So, what do you want?"

"Well, that's the problem. I'm at a point with Lisa that I am committed to her, and I like her very much. I don't want to hurt her, but...I still have feelings for Candace...and I never wanted the divorce, but her timing is terrible. And honestly, I'm not sure what I want. I certainly don't want to do the wrong thing..."

"You know, I'm just glad this isn't about Jan."

"Jan? What about Jan?"

"Sean, Jan has been mopey and off her game since the divorce, understandably so; but then all of a sudden, a couple weeks ago, she's all perky and happy again, and you were coming in looking like you got caught with your hand in the cookie jar. So I thought, well, you know what I thought."

"Why would you think that?"

"Oh, doll, Jan's had a thing for you, forever. She always tried to hide it, and I didn't think it was serious, but I knew it was there."

"I didn't," I said defensively.

"I know, doll, but that's because you weren't looking. Anyway, when Jan's mood changed overnight, and yours did too, well I suspected...anyway, I guess I was wrong. But I can't imagine who Jan hooked up with. I guess somebody we don't know, at least someone I don't know...Do you know?" she asked, looking at me with her penetrating gaze.

I felt like I was a perp in an interrogation. And I'm a terrible liar, and rarely do. When I do, it's usually to spare someone's feelings. I sat silent for a minute, a minute too long, I guess.

"What aren't you telling me, Sean?"

I spilled the beans, told her the whole damn story.

"No wonder you're wound so tight. Good grief, then your ex hits you with 'Let's get back together' and here you are."

"Yes, here I am."

"You're afraid it could end up a mistake with Candace. And you have a girlfriend you care about and don't want to hurt. You've got your ass in a sling, doll. Do you hurt your girlfriend, go back to Candace and have that fall apart, ending up with nothing but a bunch of regret; or do you stick with your girlfriend, pass on Candace, never finding out if that could have worked?"

"Succinctly put," I responded.

"Sean, I don't know what to tell you except that you better not drag this out. You don't have the chops to deal with this dilemma. It will eat you up."

"I know, I know."

"Doll, I need to run. I've got my 2:30. I hope I was helpful on the property. Sorry I can't help you with the other."

"Yes, thanks for the help. And I have to resolve the other myself. By the way, do you think anyone else knows about Jan?"

"No, doll. And mum's the word. Don't worry about that. You have enough to deal with. Take care, I gotta run."

I walked her to her car, then skipped work and headed home. I needed some space to breathe. I went for a long run. When I got back, there was a message on my cell.

"Haven't heard from you. Are we still on for dinner, tomorrow?"

Lisa. Crap. I hadn't called her all week. And what was I going to do about her. Tell her the truth? I suck at lying, and it's obvious I'm lousy at hiding my feelings. She'll know something's off with me. I called and apologized; told her we were still on, and that I had been busy and sorry I didn't call.

Friday, I tried to think of how to handle things with Lisa. I decided I obviously had to tell her about Candace, but oh how I didn't want to.

"Hi, baby," she met me at the door with a hug and a kiss.

"Hey, honey, you ready for dinner?" I asked.

"Yeah, but you don't look like you are. Aren't you feeling well?"

"Tired, I guess, but I'm fine."

"Okay, but if you don't feel like going out, we can get delivery?"

"Actually, that's not a bad idea, if you're okay with that."

"Sure, honey. Chinese, pizza, fried chicken, deli..."

"How about chicken?" I responded.

We made up an order and she called it in.

"While we wait, would you like something to drink?"

"What do you have?"

"Wine, sodas, oh and beer. I remember you liked that ale, so I got some."

"Sounds good."

We went to the patio and waited for our food to arrive.

"Sean, is there anything you would like to talk about, anything I can help with?"

I took her hand and squeezed it, "You're the best, Lisa. Thanks. Um, after dinner, I guess we need to talk."

"Okay, after dinner," she said with concern in her voice, but she didn't press me.

While we ate, Lisa told me about her week, and I started to get cold feet, thinking I wouldn't spoil our weekend. After we cleaned up, Lisa moved us to the living room and brought out a couple more beers.

"Okay, honey, what's going on?" she asked, once we were settled.

I sighed, "I have to tell you about something that's happened, something that caught me off guard, by surprise, and that has twisted me up...something I don't want to tell you about but have to."