The Divine Gambit Ch. 10

Beth was in our bed, sitting with one pillow propped against the headboard and playing with her phone. A momentary expression of confusion flickered over her face when I entered the room, but it faded as I began undressing and climbed under the sheets to be next to her.

"You gave her a massage? With the oil? How was it?"

"Good, I think. She wasn't very talkative at the start; by the end, she was completely relaxed, and maybe she had fallen asleep. I wrapped her in a blanket, and she curled into her pillow."

Another flicker of something I couldn't place on Beth's face. Confusion, disbelief, mild annoyance perhaps. I wasn't sure, and I was too tired to decipher. Handling the concerns over my dream, training, learning to fly, and then having a frustrating discussion with Zoey took a lot out of me. Focusing on giving Sam a quality massage to thank her for supporting me had conclusively emptied my batteries. I would find out what concerned Beth in the morning, if it was still an issue.

Beth set her phone aside and allowed me to hold her, eventually snuggling into my chest. I quickly succumbed to sleep, physically, mentally, and emotionally drained from my exhausting week. And it was only Thursday.

~*~*~*~

Occasional wisps of lavender filtered through the haze of sleep and reached my brain. Beth was still in my arms, and the warm morning sunshine fell on the bed, rejuvenating both of us. As I was gradually roused from my slumber, I realized I could feel intense emotions over my connection with Beth, which seemed odd considering that she was asleep, wrapped up in my embrace.

She felt frustrated and upset with herself for some shortcoming I couldn't place. It was mixed with guilt. I had no idea what she could be upset about. We had gone to bed after a pleasant evening, and I could conceive nothing that would cause this internal strife in her. The flicker of irritation she had felt wouldn't have built to this in one night. Even as my mind returned to me, I was befuddled as to what could be causing this.

I opened my eyes to see if she was awake and found something I couldn't have predicted.

Beth was lying on the other side of the bed, looking at me with anguish in her green eyes. The crimson hair in my face and the temptingly soft body underneath my fingertips made it easy to conclude that I was snuggling Sam. The hints of lavender I was sensing made more sense now.

Beth opened her mouth to say something but faltered, closing her eyes and taking several breaths before trying again. The only other sounds in the room were Sam's soft breathing.

Beth eventually found her footing and spoke, "She came in about 90 minutes after we fell asleep. She was crying, heartbroken and dejected. She wanted to know when you would let her know how you felt; When you would gently reject her. She wanted to know why she wasn't good enough, what she had done wrong. She begged me to sleep here. She said she could lie to herself for the night and pretend that you wanted her, and then she could leave after that. She wanted one night in your arms before you let her know you didn't want her.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault. I fell back into my old habits, trying to worm my way into getting what I wanted. She was sore after the gym, yeah, but I convinced her to act like it was worse than it was. I figured that if I went and bought some oil, you'd jump at the chance to give her a massage, and you did because you're a great guy and a dutiful friend.

"I thought, 'What guy would actually give a beautiful girl like Sam a massage when she's naked in the bed and practically begging for it?' Of course, you would. You offered a massage, so you gave her exactly that. I've been given so many back rubs that turned into being fucked after thirty seconds that it didn't even cross my mind that it would go any other way. I'm sorry. I convinced Sam to try and tempt you into doing something without telling you exactly, tried to tell you it was okay with me for you to do without telling you what Sam and I had talked about, and didn't think about the incomplete picture you saw.

"With all of the attention she was getting at the gym, I convinced her that you would be unable to resist her and that she would get what she's wanted for years. But you were a perfect friend and didn't pressure her into doing something she didn't actually ask for. She already thought you were just being nice and didn't want to insert herself between us, so she went along with my idea, but I'm sure she didn't really try to seduce you.

"She loves you more than I do, and she has for years. I've hurt her, and I've deceived you, and I'm really sorry. I thought I was doing something good, getting you and her together like that. I should've just told her to talk to you and be upfront about what we want. Please don't hate me."

"I don't hate you. I just..." I sighed and tried to collect my thoughts, my breath lightly blowing through Sam's hair. Beth looked fragile and uncomfortable, unhappy with her decisions, and I could feel her tension leaking through. Sam fluttered and sighed in her sleep, and she pulled my arm tightly against her chest, blissfully unaware of the conversation happening around her.

"I don't hate you. You should be able to feel that, at least. I'm not happy with being misled, especially at Sam's expense, but I get it. I know I was holding Sam at arm's length, which was the worst spot to put Sam. You had tried to tell me what was happening, and I avoided acting on it to try and keep things clean when they were already muddied."

I paused to collect myself and calm my emotions. Beth didn't even really know me. We hadn't been together long enough for her to know how I wanted to act. This was just a part of the learning curve. I wasn't happy, but she had tried to do something with reasonably positive intentions and had tried to tell me about it. Getting upset wouldn't help.

The dragon wasn't even bothered. He was happy that our primary mate was already fulfilling her duties and preparing additional concubines for us. I shivered in disgust at that thought.

"I think this is a discussion Sam should be awake for, to be honest. I'm not sure I want to repeat myself, and she deserves to have a say. Actually, she and I need to talk more than anything else. I want you to speak up if anything is wrong or if you see us getting lost and failing to connect again, but it really needs to be between the two of us. I understand why you did what you did, and while I'm not pleased about it, I want you to stop fretting about it. We're going to get Sam to tell me what she wants right now, and then we'll give it to her, and your mistake will be completely forgotten."

Beth hesitated and then nodded. I watched her for an extra moment, allowing her a chance to rescind her permission or at least to prepare herself. She nodded again, so I brushed Sam's hair out of her face and kissed her cheek. She murmured lightly and pressed herself back into me. A soft yawn escaped her lips, and she sighed and snuggled against me.

Then Sam must've woken up enough to realize where she was because her entire body tensed, and her heart rate spiked while the room was filled with the scent of her anxiety. She tried to sit up and slither away, but I held her against me.

"James, I'm sorry. I'll get out of your hair. I know you don't want me here like this. I'll just be going, and we can forget all of this."

I didn't relinquish, holding her nervously squirming body against mine.

"Why do you think I don't want you here?"

"You've been nice to pretend for my sake, J. Just let me get up and go."

"No, Sam. I want you to tell me what you actually want and what I have done to make you think I don't want you to be here. We've had a horrible case of incomplete communication and I want to rectify that. Beth and I had a few words about what she thinks you want, making me think there's a misunderstanding."

"Well, you've been really nice to act like it. But yesterday, Beth had to practically force you to kiss me in the morning. And you've included me in your lessons, but that's really just because Beth can't help you there, not that I'm much better. You've always been nice and welcomed me, but you needed to do that here because Mom's officially connected to you. I know I must've grossed you out when you carried me through the suppression fields. I'm not enough of a witch to have cast any of my own spells and not enough of a human to bring myself back up the stairs.

"I'm not cute and spunky like Beth; you made that apparent yesterday. You were clear how you massaged me and where you avoided touching me. I was panting and would've begged you for more if my brain was still connected and able to form words. You still haven't accepted my Fae Book friend request, so you're clearly just being nice to my face but trying to keep your distance to let me down soon. Let me get up, and we can stop pretending."

I exhaled. I could feel how she was struggling to contain the agitation below the surface. She didn't want to burst into tears in my arms or in front of Beth. She felt like she was being dumped after being teased, even if that wasn't my intention.

"Sam, I want you here. I'm struggling to align my preconceptions of who you are with the girl I thought I knew. I spent ten years solidifying you in my mind as an aloof, cool, distant person, and I've only been aware that was an act for a week. It's been hard to rectify. In that same time period, I had another girl show up and practically throw herself at me in a desperate act of survival. I can feel her emotions and hints of her thoughts. It's been a lot for me to take in, and my interactions with you have taken a back seat because I can literally feel Beth's emotions, but it's new and overwhelming for me.

"I was interested in you years ago. I'm interested in you now. I wasn't sure where we stood, what you wanted, or how Beth felt about the mess we were in. When I had finally grasped my new life, Zoey threw a nuclear curveball into the mix, and I was lost again. I thought I should give you some time to reconsider. I wasn't going to make any moves on you last night because we hadn't established that as an acceptable part of our relationship. We had a little conversation in this exact spot yesterday where you said you wanted to talk to your mother, and I wanted to give you a chance to do that."

Sam interrupted me, "I did. I talked to her. She said some unpleasant things, but we talked it over. And I told you that, too."

I ran through the last twenty-four hours in my mind, trying to recall anything Sam could be referring to.

"You told me you talked to your mother but framed it to make it seem like a normal quick conversation. I had no idea that you meant you had talked to her about our relationship and came to a conclusion you felt comfortable with. What did she say? If it's appropriate to share."

Sam rolled onto her back so she could look at my face, and I could look into her deep blue eyes, but I didn't need to see her face to see that she was troubled with what she had to say next. Beth slid against her in the bed, and I noticed that she wrapped her leg over the top of Sam's much like she did mine every night. Neither girl acted like it was out of the ordinary, which was something noteworthy for me.

Sam hesitated and asked, "Are you sure? It's not that pleasant, really. I'm okay if it happens, I guess, so I don't feel like I need to tell you."

"It's your decision; If you're uncomfortable sharing something personal, I won't press you."

"Mom said that I needed to be sure that this was what I wanted. She seemed to think that Zoey won't be the last. You went from single mundane last week, to a dragon intertwined with Beth, to flirting around the edges with me, to mated with Zoey in a couple days. Mom thinks it's more than a coincidence. It aligns with legends of dragons in the past, collecting dozens of doting ensnared broodmares. Mom thinks our number will likely only grow. She wanted me to really be sure I wanted in before I got in over my head."

I sighed, "I hope she's wrong, to be honest. I'm incredibly honored that you're still interested, although I'm confused by the 'why.' The dragon seems to think that this is great. Having more mates to acknowledge our magnificence. I feel like I'm cheating you out of half of a relationship. There's no way I can give three people, assuming Zoey eventually comes around, the same amount of time, energy, effort, and attention I could dedicate to one person. Trying to care for myself and give Beth what she deserves is exhausting on its own. And now, our relationship has changed, and Zoey needs some of my time to feel complete. I hope Cynthia is wrong and no one else ever joins us because there's no way I could do right by them. There's no way I deserve any of this. I still think I'm going to wake up tomorrow in my apartment, and all of this will have been a dream because it's all just so absurd.

"I guess I'm just saying that having two girls I'm fundamentally bound to and a childhood friend who grew up into a wonderful woman who also wants to be included doesn't leave me much time for any of them. I also need to learn how to be a dragon, become a representative of sorts in Aisling's court, and eventually find something to contribute to the entire community here."

Sam sulked somberly as she took in what I was saying. Beth seemed thoughtful and remained silent to allow Sam and me to correct our previous misunderstandings.

"I'm sorry, James. I know it's a lot to handle right now. I don't mean to burden you with more. I understand that I can't be your priority right now. I see that Beth and Zoey need to come first."

"No, you don't understand. I'm not saying you can't be a priority; I am only apologizing and explaining why you haven't been. I've been stuck in the past and overcome by the present. I want you in my life, and I was dragging my feet while hoping everything else would calm down. Beth wants you in our life as an equal, not just an acquaintance; I thought you understood that from yesterday. I just need you to understand why I haven't been giving you what you wanted, and I need you to hold me accountable moving forward. Beth got what she wanted by grabbing me and taking it and not letting me overthink every situation and become paralyzed by analysis. Can you speak up if I'm not giving you what you want? Can you be direct and assertive with me?"

Sam looked back and forth between Beth and me several times, eventually returning to rest on me. "I can try."

Beth whispered a suggestion, and Sam's head flipped back to look at her, "You're not a third wheel here, girl. Don't think of it like J's my boyfriend, and you're just passing some time with him or getting a trial run. He's your boyfriend. Well, at least, he could be. He didn't exactly ask me, either."

Sam rotated to look back at me, and she seemed incredibly vulnerable, with her round blue eyes yearning for my attention. She whispered, "Is that-- You actually want this?"

Rather than answer Sam verbally, I kissed her. She didn't close her eyes, and we remained locked in contact as I began making out with my childhood crush. She cooed softly, moaning into my mouth as we kissed, and her eyes transitioned from displaying her fragility into giddy surprise and finally into covetous desire.

Eventually, Sam pulled back and said, "James, I want you to take me."