The First Ninety Days Ch. 03

"I'll need to discuss it with my wife. Having said that, if Amber suddenly shows up on your behalf, you'll understand why." He winked broadly.

"What are you going to tell my mom, if she asks," Caitlyn said as they prepared to depart.

"Nothing," said Rev. Pendleton. "She of course has a right to know what's going on in her household—but you, Mrs. Stanford, are not a part of that household any longer. And, if she wants to know what's going on in the marriage of Jon and Caitlyn Stanford, she of course is free to ask them herself—but it's not my place to tell her anything. Unless, of course, youwant me to tell her something."

"Something about the harp, maybe?" said Jon. "We had to leave it because it wouldn't fit in my car."

"At the very least, I'll probably need it for church on Sunday," said Caitlyn.

"Well, we couldn't deprive ourselves of our favorite harpist," said Larry, smiling broadly.

It was after one 'o'clock when they came out. They found the nearest McDonald's to assuage their hunger, though Jon gave a dubious glance at his wallet; the meeting had given him a keen sense of expenditure. Then they headed back for another squint at Craigslist.

Caitlyn was clearly surprised when Jon started marking down job offers he thought he'd like to look into, but he shook his head. "I love Dr. Polkiss and Dr. Leyton. They're great people, and I have a great job there. But $40,000 a year isn't enough to go on, not with you in the picture."

"I could get a job," she said.

"You could, but you have a degree to finish, and we need the money now. You don't graduate for a year and a half. Yourfinals arenext week. Maybe it'll be practical for you to get a job next year, or even next semester, but for the moment..."

"Yeah, but, that's just for the moment," she said. "Jon, once I get my degree, I can get areal job, and make somereal money."

"Yeah, but Istill have to make more than $40,000 a year," he said. "Because what happens when you start having kids? You talked about wanting to be a stay-at-home mom."

"You talked about wanting to be a stay-at-homedad," she said.

"Yeah, but, we can'tboth stay at home. Unless we take out massive loans or something."

"So why you?"

"Because... What's thepoint of a husband, if not to support his wife? I mean, do you know why marriage started?"

"No."

"It's biological. It has to do with how men and women have children."

"Isn't it the exact same way?"

"Not really. Let's take a caveman named Bob. He wants to have tons of kids. So, the smartest thing for him to do is go out and have sex with tons of women. It'seasy for him to have sex—doesn't even take five minutes, if he just climbs on board and then squirts and then leaves again. And, by the laws of probability, about a quarter of Bob's sex partners will be fertile. So, if he gets it on with twenty women, in nine months he'll have five kids. But he's not even there to see them, 'cause, once he was done, he went stumping back off into the wild blue yonder or the jungle or whatever—keep in mind that we are really talking a caveman society here. Subsistence-level. Hunter-gatherer."

"Okay."

"So. If Bob just wander around, having sex with every woman he sees, he'll leave a bunch of children behind. And that ensures Bob's genetic legacy will live on, because the more kids he has, the more likely some of them will live to adulthood, and havetheir own kids, and keep his genetic heritage alive."

"Right. Following you so far."

"Now. Let's take a cavewoman named Sue. What'sher smartest strategy ifshe wants to have tons of kids? Keep in mind that after Bob has had sex with her and made her pregnant and stumped back off into the jungle, she still has tobear the child. That's a nine-month process, during at least three of which she's practically paraplegic. Then the baby pops out, and she's breast-feeding it for two years, and toddling it for another two or three. All during this time, Sue can't fend for herself. She isn't getting much sleep because every time the baby wakes up and cry, she has to stick her boob in its mouth. She's vulnerable to predators, especially if the baby is crying and attracting their attention. She don't have a lot of time to go out and hunt and forage and gather. The likelihood of her dying is pretty darn high, and of her child dying even more so.

"So, what'sSue's smartest strategy? Sue's smartest strategy is to find someone—let's call him Jim—who can take care of her while she's tied down with a baby for years at a time. She should find someone who can hunt and gather for her, and drive off predators when they come looking for the baby. She should find someone who willprovide for her."

"So, why not another woman?"

"Well, for a couple reasons. Number one, what ifshe's pregnant—it wouldn't do for her to be laid up as well. Number two, there's a nice symmetry if the father of her baby is looking after both her and it. Number three, her objective is to havetons of kids, not just this one. So it's nice to have a guy, and his dick, on hand for whenever she's ready for the next one."

"But what's in it for this Jim character? I mean, he gets a lot less sex and a lot more responsibility."

"Well, yes, but, number one: 'lot less sex' may not be accurate. Sure, our wandering barbarian Bob gets to have sex with more women, but only once per woman, and then he may have to do a lot of wandering to find the next one. Jim, on the other hand, may get lessvariety, but much moreregularity—he can have sex with Sue practically whenever he wants. For two: yes, more responsibility, but as we've already discussed, there's at least two men in the world—myself and Pastor Pendleton—who don't mind or evenlike that. Which isn't so surprising, if you think about it. Willingness to be a provider is a positive survival trait, so evolution would select for it. Bob might get tied down, but he'll never be satisfied, and may not do as good a job at raising his kids as Jim does. He may have less children, and weaker ones, than Jim does. In just a couple generations, that can make a big difference.

"And Jim gets other benefits that Bob doesn't at all: companionship, for instance, and emotional attachment. Love. Love for his wife and his children. Lovefrom his wife and his children. Access to better and more plentiful stores of food, because when he has extra, he can store it somewhere instead of being limited to what he can carry while he wanders. Maybe even extra manpower, if he and Sue are living near other couples—and extra manpower meanslots more benefits. Culture, more ambitious projects, more food, better quality clothing... Civilization, basically."

"So, that's how marriage started?"

"That's how marriage started. There's a saying that a history teacher gave me: men give love to get sex, women give sex to get love. But either way, the point is to increase the chances that the children live long enough to have theirown children. I think you could really make a case for grandchildren being the driving reason for all of life. Why do we have marriage? Why do we have laws? Why do we havecivilization? To make grandchildren more likely."

"And that's why being a provider is important to you. It's what evolution says you should want."

"And I guess it's cool to be a human and all, and be able to deny your own instincts and impulses and genetics and programming. But what if you actuallydo want to act out these things? I hope that's not a crime, because, like Pastor Pendleton said, the human race would be sunk without people who are perfectly happy to follow their genes."

"Where do you get these thoughts, anyway?"

"I dunno. Around. From books. From classes. From watching what people do. I mean, most customs and laws have a reason. We just don't generally know what they are."

"So what about not having sex before marriage? What's the reason forthat?"

"Umm... I don't... Truthfully, I don't know. It's not etic to most cultures—I mean, you'll find marriage, some form of it at least, in just about every civilization in existence. But the taboo on pre-marital sex isnot as widespread. For that matter, the taboo onextra-marital sex... I mean, most cultures prefer it doesn't happen, but there's varying levels of tolerance of men sleeping with women who are not their wives, or mistresses, or prostitutes, or whatever."

"I... I may have an idea."

"Yeah?" That sounded rather callous, so he tried to soften it with a smile. "Go ahead. I'd like hearing it."

"I think... The ban on pre-marital sex... Maybe it's because sex is... So powerful." She was halting and slow, choosing her words with care, and now her cheeks began to redden. "I mean, I know that when you and I... Do things, I sometimes... I get really into it, and... I'm not as... In-control. As I'd like to be. I'm really starting to understand why people make such a big deal about it, and want to have it so much. I mean...I want to have it." She was positively crimson now.

He gathered her into his arms. "Well, there's nothing wrong with that, before or after marriage."

"There is! You're not supposed to want it until you're married. That's what the—"

"No, that'snot what the Bible says. It says you're not supposed tohave sex until you're married. But it doesn't say anything about wanting because you can'tdo anything about that. If God were to condemn us forwanting to have sex despite not being married, well, every person on earth, married or otherwise, would go to Hell. I mean, the sex drive is an integral part of our nature. It'sstrong."

"I know, and that's why I think there's the rule against doing it before you get married. Itis strong. It makes you feel so... Just, so... I dunno, naked, and, and, connected, and... I mean, we're doing something so special. So... So sacred. Nothing hidden, just a man and a woman, every bit of them, without shame or, or fear, or... And I think you would feel that way with just aboutanyone you had sex with. So, if you did... If you had sex before you married the person, you would think, 'Whoa, we're so close, I love him so much,' except that youdon't, it's just the sex. And then people get married and then discover that they actually hate each other and it's a mess."

"So, you're saying, the reason people aren't supposed to have sex before they marry is because sex can make you think you're in love with them."

"Right. You'd marry the first person you slept with. So, it's safer not to have it involved. It's safer to... Leave it out. So that it can't fool you. So that it can't lie to you. Or else, how do you know that you really, reallydo love that person?"

"Well, there's some people who think that you don't know that for certainuntil you sleep with them."

She blinked up at him. "Doyou think that?"

Well, it seems kind of irrelevant at the moment, but... "I... Honestly, I dunno. And, I mean, unless something really drastic happens, we're not gonna be able to try it the other way, will we? But it seems like... Well, to be honest, I couldn't be happier with the sex we have. It's good, and I think we can make it better still. But then, I don't have anything to compare it to. ...Which, maybe, is the point. I mean, you know what they say aboutignorance is bliss, right? I'm never gonna be dissatisfied with our sex life if I don't have anything to compare it to. ...Assuming, of course, we're able to get to a point where we're both satisfied in thefirst place—which maybe never happens to some people, but, again, I don't see that as being a problem for us."

"Yeah. I've been really... Satisfied, too. With what we do." She gave a little giggle. "I mean, we've been married for only three days, but we've already done more things in more ways than I thought we could."

He smiled. "Baby, you ain't seennothin yet."

"How do youknow all these things, anyway?"

He shrugged. "The Internet. Where else. If you still wanted to go out and learn, there are pages I could direct you to." He made a wry smile. "Or movies I could show you, that I have on my hard drive."

He thought she was astonished for a moment, but if so, she covered it well. "Why, Mr. Stanford! Such wicked behavior!"

"I know, I know," he sighed in mock anguish. "I have been sinful. But, I must say,Mrs. Stanford, that it may be to your benefit."

She gave him a hooded smile, and then a kiss that was full of promise; and then he was lost in her mouth, and the sweet heat of her breath, and the warm light of her body in his arms, and the fragrance of her hair, and the overwhelming warmth of his love for her.

"So," he said, once he had his breath back, "these websites, um. Should I... Show them to you now? Or...?"

She squirmed. "Well... I have class tomorrow. And finals next week. I really should..."

"Yeah. Now would be a really good time to mess up your studies, huh? And I should keep lurking on Craigslist and stuff like that..."

"Oh, man. I have to... I have to go around asking people to help back us up when we confront my mom on Friday."

"Friday?"

"Yeah, why? Is there something wrong with Friday?"

"No, it's just... It's the first I've heard of it, that's all."

"That's okay, it's the firstanybody's heard of it."

"When did you decide this?"

"When we talked with Pastor Pendleton. I think that if we have his support..."

"Yeah. He's seen us, but even more than that, he knows your family very well. And they know him. And your mom's always talking about how much she respects him."

"He's just such a powerful ally. And... I don't want to leave this hanging any longer than necessary. I want... We need Mom to..."

"You meanyou need."

She shoved away from him. "I didn't mean it likethat."

"I didn't either. Baby, I'm not saying it's abad thing. What Pastor Pendleton said, about turning the other cheek and that being the hardest thing to do... Well, Istill think giving the enemy a second opening is a bad idea. But it's also a really brave thing, and a really powerful thing. And... I admire you for wanting to be that kind of person, because it's not easy. It's like the people who climb Mount Everest. Is it a smart thing to do? Probably not. Does it really change anything, on a global scale? Probably not. But we still admire them, for having the guts or skill or even just foolhardy nerve to try such a thing."

She looked at him strangely.

He shrugged. "Baby, I love you. What you want for yourself is what I want for you."

"Even if you think it's stupid."

"Especially if I think it's stupid. 'cause, hey: I better be on hand in case it fails, right?" He gave her his most disingenuous grin, and was rewarded with her faint smile.

"Now. You give me the list of people you'd like to recruit, and I will call them and see if I can set up meetings for you while you do your homework. How does that sound?"

She kissed him again. "It sounds like I have a wonderful husband."

You know, he thought,a man could grow to like hearing those words.

The calls were fairly easy. Everyone on the list—Mrs. Sellitz the harp teacher, Mrs. Klein the oboe teacher, Uncle Max, Grandma and Grandpa Cassidy—knew him, to one extent or another, and knew at least bits and pieces about the situation furthermore. Jon was able to elaborate with a certain amount of detail: "I mean, I'm not Caitlyn, I don't know the exact deal, but I'm reporting what she's told me as best as I can." What wasn't hard to explain was the idea of The Plan, which he himself had come up with. Grammy wanted to talk with her granddaughter, as did Mrs. Sellitz, and Caitlyn promised (by proxy) to call them as soon as she had a spare moment. In the end, everyone they approached was amenable, and suddenly Caitlyn had doubled her amount of backup.

"You know..." she said reflectively. "We may not have to bring all of them in. Too many... My parents may just close their ears. I mean, the more people think they're stupid, the more they're likely to ignore them out of sheer stubbornness. Maybe we don't need everyone."

"Well, in this case, at least you can pick and choose," he said. "Depending on what you decide to say and how you decide to say it to them, you have a lot of options. And that's better than the other way around."

"Yeah, true. What have you come up with?"

"About the same as yesterday. You wouldn't think we'd be able to find much in the way of housing in the middle of December, but there's some stuff available." He spun the laptop around. "There's a few I thought we might want to take a look at. There's one right near Shellview State that is pretty cheap—only $700 a month. I thought that might be our best bet. It's cheap, it's near school and about as far from Polkiss-Leyton as we are now, and it solves the second-car problem in that you can justwalk to school. The problem is, since it rents to students, it probably won't be in the best shape, but hey, beggars can't be choosers, right?"

"When can we look at it?"

"I don't know, I was going to call the landlord."

After dinner, Caitlyn returned to her studies, but Jon had an errand to run. Wednesdays nights were when Octapella met, along with Sunday afternoons. Jon wondered what the difference would be, walking in there with a ring on his finger.So many things that could change now. So many things that could stay the same.

Jon, a punctual fellow by every means, was surprised to be one of the last people to arrive—not that he was late, but that everyone else was early. "I think I like this sort of attitude," he said, grinning. "So much better than regular choirs when you can't start for fifteen minutes because of tardiness."

"Hey, who gives a damn about the music," Richard laughed. He was their first bass and never failed to have a smile on his face. "We're here to find out about thefestivities."

"I mean, proposing to her is one thing," said their second alto Beth, who had been instrumental in getting the proposing plan to work at all, "but actuallymarrying her is a whole nother cake."

"Hail, almighty adult one," said Christa, their second soprano, with a smirking grin.

"You're one to talk," said Jon. "You and Zach just got married this summer."

"Well, what can we say," said Zach, with his customary easy grin. "Welcome to the early-start club, man."

"Twenty-three isn't the same as twenty-one," Jon protested.

"Yeah, but in this day and age, where you're not an adult until you have your master's at age 26, you still started early," said Rod, the bass 2. "Besides, you graduated before most of us were evenstudents here, and now you're married. The only thing you're missing is some grey hairs."

"And with the wayyou folks sing, I'm likely to have them," Jon retorted, grinning. "So. Shall we get started?"

Octapella was an eight-voice group. Jon, a year after graduation, had been recruited into it by Greenfield's choral conductor, Professor Chapman. Jon was a good singer—not virtuoso, but he could get by—and even more than that, had been in the college's previous group and had more composing and arranging experience than anyone who had graduated in the last ten years. Jon didn't think that was accurate, but Professor Chapman had said so, and he supposed he would know. The others were mostly sophomores or younger when the group was founded at the beginning of the previous school year. They were now a year and a quarter old, and were already starting to make waves, not just at the college, but in the greater Shellview area.