All Comments on 'The Five Deadly Rules of Heartbreak'

The male character is a whiney self-flagelating hypocrite.

But in several places there was just too much blah, blah, blah. Too much wordage that only served to bog the story down. Thought processes, introspection, all that stuff is fine, but it needs to be kept to a minimum because too much of it will cause readers to lose interest. I know I almost bailed on this one a couple of times.

I've read the snarky comments already posted, and disagree with most of the negatives. Candidly, it is easy for the supercilious twits who hang around here in L/W to pick and needle. They seem to thrive on it. I, for one, think your writing was rather clear, straightforward, and readable. For a 1st attempt, it was truly rather good.

Having said that, and noting that this story was only one of two (the second story containing multiple chapters) that you posted four years ago as a seeming 'one-off' fling at writing, I wish that you'd have stayed with it. This category needs more clever authors. Do consider resuming your efforts, please.

Well that was depressing.

Framing his whore wife and her asshole boss was great... they treated the husband like shit, so he fucked them over. But all the moping around at the end was pathetic. He'd divorced the slut, acquired a load of cash, had a beautiful girlfriend who gave him threesomes with her gal-pal and he's still moping over being betrayed by the whore?

Pathetic...

I read your other story first so you spoiled me with that one. While that one was extremely sad for all the family members, it was great. This one is very good, as well.

Another good story with BTB fully deserved. But you did have some trouble, again, with the ending. He had no reason for any regret at all.

Well scripted and written. I thought the ending ok. Things don't always end up great in life and these kind of affairs take something out of a person that they never get back. I really did not like to find out late in the story that the adulters wife had been in cahoots for the whole time.

Man had a hard life, even for fiction. Hope his imaginary life goes well from now own.

The story was 4****, but the telling of it was 5***** all the way!

I guess I should feel sorry for her going to jail, but she owed him one way or the other and that way works just fine.

You almost felt sorry for him but he continued living with the bitch. You almost felt sorry for him when it became obvious he had no future with the other wife. You almost felt sorry for him when he got no satisfaction for sending the bitch to prison.You almost feel sorry for him how he ended up alone in France. The problem: you could never feel glad for him getting over on the bitch at any time. Like Maxwell Smart said " You missed it by that much! "

Of course you are. Next story: Navy Seal.

Reading again. I like this story a lot, but I still can't understand his regret. Mary was the cheater and deserved all she got.

I never understand how a guy who gets cheated on by his wife feels he has to give her anything in a divorce - especially after he goes through the paces for his revenge.

Good story. While the events are standard tropes, the epilogue is a great look into his mindset while he was extricating himself from the marriage, and it didn't drag on too long either. If more stories had touches like this, overall quality level might get bumped up. Quiy a few capable writers phone it in at the moment.

You have some huge holes in this little tale. The biggest being all the flights he made to the Bahamas and the Cayman Islands. You don't think the FBI might be interested in those trips? And the fact that he is a computer security guy? With access to his wife's laptop? Not all cops are fat, dumb and eat donuts. Why move to France? The Frogs would ship him back to the states in a heartbeat. Maybe some closer thought next time?

Good read! You ever notice people who have bad comments, usually do so anonymously.

Good story. Good that he didn't knock her up prior to her becoming a slut. Oh wait, she was always a slut it manifested itself after leaving the dental office.

To all of those commenters who are denigrating the author over what could or could not have occurred in the story remember that this is NOT your tale. It belongs to the author and to the world that he created you dip sh*ts don't get a say in his story so simply like or dislike his story, then shut the hell up. LP

It was so cliched I started drifting off.

THough this was cute Good read! You ever notice people who have bad comments, usually do so anonymously. Let me add notice those that literally love every story no matter what grade it is use a name and also do it anonymously...because after all on a forum such as this a name means sooooooooooooooooooooooooo fucking much. Unless of course some one thinks my name is really iamweasel. If you do, FTR there about 200 different iamweasels out there, that may cuase you some issues.

A write by numbers BTB story that hits every cliché on the way down.

Shit story, no ⭐s. You and your male character are 🐓sters. No man would put up with that crap. You get 5 💩💩💩💩💩.

I liked it but felt she never answered why she did it. That is the question that many of these stories lack. If she was unhappy ( during the time their relationship was sinking she never said anything or asked to talk) she should have asked for a divorce instead of keeping him as her backup.

iameasel, people leave Anonymous comments because they are allowed to. Further, why should they have to make a login just to leave a comment. What I think should be left are meaningful comments. Personally I find this authors writing rather flat. Ok in themselves but not having any get up and go for me. I am sure others will find them interesting.

First off, come off it, the husband did nothing particularly wrong. He only punished those who trespassed against him.

She, for wasting years of his life with her, and him because he was an asshole and a filthy bottom feeder.

Though, that he got away with it was pretty unbelievable considering you have the husband flying to each money transfer destination. That's one fucking huge evidence trail and really not something a competent security expert would do. Why do in person what you can do online and hidden? No need to fly in, well, except for the Mexico one.

Good one!

Wife has affair, husband has knowledge of computer systems, money is moved, investigators and police don't look at husband!!?. Story about affair, story mostly about computers, writer a cider by any chance!!?. Meh 3 stars.

Why the self recriminations? They were worthless pieces of shit who got exactly what they deserved. Well, not Mary. The LW cliches dictated that our Mc be "more than fair" in the divorce. Why give her all the proceeds from the sale of the house? She doesn't need any money in prison. Shit, for doing to him what she'd done she deserves to start over after prison from scratch.

Another excellent story by an excellent Author, to date the best I've found. At least he was smart enough to NOT absorb the many bad habits other story tellers have picked up by reading others stories and saying to themselves, "Hey, I can write too". No you can but you can tell stories filled with Hyper Punctuations and dot dot dots, lol. The bad habits! I am troubled that this Author has disappeared for the last 8 years! I had an epiphany at the beginning of this story and think Another Author is writing the same story, has the same character, same plot. Of course with as many stories that have been told here it's probably a fluke. Anyway the Author gets 5 BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE FLAMING NOVA STARS for this one and his last thank you until he returns with just one more submission!

Yeah, another good one. A very good storyteller and quite a good writer.

I really hate these stories that don't have a confrontation with the spouse.

This could have been an absolutely amazing 5 star BTB, but the author self-sabotaged it with 3 big problems:

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1. MC has no happiness. This is the author's choice, for which he gets -1 star. A real man who's not mentally deficient or sick, will strive to avenge himself by having best life possible, NOT become a recluse without companionship. You can have a fun life without having to force yourself to trust women.

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2. He deliberately does NOT harm the asswife to nearly the extent he could. He doesn't file for adultery. He doesn't fuck her over in divorce financially (which with her in jail; he could). He doesn't embarass her for life with friends/family/etc... with her porn. The ONLY thing that's a meaningful revenge aside from the embezzling setup (and even that is half-assed, with him for some reason paying her to have a good lawyer), is him slightly rubbing her nose in his traveling with boss's wife to places she wanted to visit. Boo fucking Hoo.

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3. Because of above stupid lack of extra effort on MC's part, she ONLY gets short sentence instead of bigger one.

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4. The stupid "oh if she came to me earlier I would have forgiven her" cuck crap.

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So, in the end, this is one of those SUPER rare BTBs that get 3 stars from me, and even that, barely. Which is all the worse because it was THIS close to being an amazing perfect BTB worth 10 stars.

I liked the story and the money transfers. He should have been harder on his wife and she didn't seem broken up over their breakup.

Great story. A little choppy but not bad for a first attempt. Keep writing.