The Flirt

I had always told myself: "Don't shit where you eat." Sex wasn't worth possibly losing a paycheck over. So when I met Orion at my new job, and I felt my cheeks flush and a tingle down below, I resolved myself to avoid him at all costs. I didn't think it would be a problem anyway--he was so fit, muscular, and I was so clumsy and self-conscious of how fat I'd gotten. I had just moved back to Louisville to teach at an adult rehab hospital, and he was the behavior tech supervisor, so honestly, our paths shouldn't have crossed often at all. I remember the first day we met.

I was leaving for lunch and had to pass the first floor break room to exit the ancient building. I resolved myself to tiptoe by, but as I turned the corner, my radio crackled to life. He stepped out of the room right in front of me.

"Aren't you gonna speak?"

I turned off my radio. "Hi," I said, body stiff, already turning to leave. I tried to suck in my gut, then remembered I didn't want him to like me, so I let it out.

He grinned at me and said, "Nah, you're not going anywhere yet. I'm Orion. You're Charlotte, right?"

I smiled and nodded. Like a teenage girl, I fingered a lock of my hair. God, I was so transparent. I dropped my hand and frowned as the clip holding my hair back fell to the floor. He bent to retrieve it.

"Yes. It's Charlotte," I stammered, pressing my thighs together. I had to look at him at this point or it would've been weird. He was just under 6 feet tall with tattoos from his neck to his ankles and a strong, compact body. He was light-skinned--usually not my type--but his swagger was intoxicating. Even the parts of his appearance that I didn't like (stretched earlobes and two gold teeth) added to his personality.

"But everybody calls me Charlie," I added, eyes dropping from his eyes to his mouth to throat. I swallowed reflexively.

"Well," he said, smiling, "I'm not everybody. So you're going to stay 'Ms. Charlotte' to me."

I wanted to say something clever, something to put him in his place, something to indicate I wasn't affected by him, but I had nothing. In fact, I blushed suddenly, and squeaked out, "I've got to go to lunch."

He took a step back. "Bye Ms. Charlotte!" he called as I scampered away.

That same day, I asked my fellow teacher Andrea what she thought about him. I tried to ask it casually, so I included the other techs in my question. She was distracted with something on her laptop, so she didn't show any surprise that I'd brought him up.

"Andrew is lazy. And Thomas is creepy as fuck."

"What about Leonard? And Orion?"

"Leonard is fine as hell, but he's married. Orion is cool," she said, "He's just loud. And ghetto."

Andrea had made it perfectly clear how she felt about loud, ghetto men. And why she thought Leonard was so fine. Her husband's name is Todd, and he was as white as they come. I turned my nose up a bit when I thought about that. Despite being a white woman, I'd always been drawn to black men. She joked about how she was so much more preppy than me and I was so much more hood than she was. She continued talking about the other techs, "And that sexy ass Viking-man-beast Edward. Oooh, Todd better watch out!"

I didn't immediately respond, so she looked up, but I quickly laughed with her. I turned my eyes toward my own laptop, and it nearly slid off my lap. I caught it awkwardly.

She didn't say anything more, but I changed the subject quickly anyway. "How are your classes going so far? The first half of my day was okay, but I can tell there's going to be some problems with a couple of patients."

"Same," she said, "Have you had Martina Hampton yet?"

I nodded. That lady had been strung out on heroin for at least half her life. I was glad she was in rehab, but sometimes, I wondered if she'd make it.

"She is a psycho!" Andrea said, making a face.

"I know, right?" I forced a laugh. Martina Hampton reminded me of my cousin Christine, so it wasn't that funny. But Andrea was appeased with my fake acquiescence, so didn't say anything more.

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Subsequent run-ins with Orion were just as embarrassing. Once, he'd gotten onto the elevator right behind me, smiling when I stepped away from him. The doors creaked back open as he walked through. I was mortified that he saw me using the elevator when I was only going to the 3rd floor. But I couldn't take the stairs; not only would I be out of breath (if I made it the whole way), but I'd probably stumble and miss a step and fall and break a bone.

"Hello, Ms. Charlotte," he'd said firmly. "Press 6 for me."

"Hi," I said, instantly responding to his command to lean forward and press the 6th floor button.

"Good girl."

At this comment, I felt a rush of warmth into my panties but forced a sarcastic laugh. "Ha ha."

Just before the doors closed, a gloved arm grabbed one of them, causing them to creak open again. It was the behavior techs, Leonard and Andrew. They were marching a patient onto the elevator while he cursed and screamed. Orion pulled me behind him and said a few words to the techs that I couldn't hear. When the doors finally opened in front of 3 and Orion escorted me off, I was confused. The elevator doors slowly closed, and it shuddered briefly, continuing its path up.

"See ya later, Ms. Charlotte," he whispered.

"But you were going to 6," I blurted out. I watched him saunter down the hallway and push the heavy door to the stairway open. When it closed behind him, I felt butterflies flitting around in my stomach like mad.

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Another time, he was in the 3rd floor break room with Creepy Thomas complaining about how high his rent was since he'd moved to the east end. I walked to the fridge to put my lunch in and was ready to walk directly back out, when Orion spoke: "Ms. Charlotte, I'm gonna have to move in with you." At the sound of his voice, my hand jerked and someone's bottle of soda hit the floor and rolled toward the two men.

Thomas laughed, picking up the bottle and handing it to me.

I actually hadn't started swooning over Orion yet, so I was able to think of a response. "Do you like cats?" I asked, wagering that he was more of a dog person. My cats were like my babies since I'd never had a child of my own. I would always choose them over a man. I shoved the bottle of soda back into the fridge and shut the door quickly.

"I love cats," he said, his voice full of insinuation. I blushed, Thomas laughed again. Orion stared directly at me smiling. I was getting braver, and I didn't want either one of them to think I was too sensitive to joke with, so I joked back.

"I guess you'll like it at my place then," I retorted, "When are you moving in?"

I was figuring out that this was Orion's M.O. He'd have at least one audience member, a witness to my discomfort, and he'd ask the most random and subtly inappropriate questions. My banter only made him more brazen.

"Tonight," he grinned, "But I don't have a bed. Can I share yours?"

My eyebrows knit together and my mouth dropped open, looking scandalized. I mumbled something incoherently and backed out of the room. As I sat down at my desk to work on lesson plans, I wondered why the two were even in the 5th floor break room when they had their own on the 1st floor. Surely he wouldn't go to those lengths to make fun of me. Would he?

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I always ran out of paper right in the middle of a print job. I sighed and headed downstairs to the massive supply room. Orion was bantering back and forth with the admin assistant, Tina, and she was not having any of his antics. I honestly couldn't tell if he was flirting with her either, so I didn't make it a point to speak, even though they would've heard me. Tina listened to music as she worked, and there was an old 90s slow jam currently on deck. I didn't have to pass the office to get to the supply office, so I felt fairly safe I wouldn't be seen. I bent over in front of a box of paper, cutting the plastic bands with scissors. I was unconsciously whispering along to the words and swaying my hips when I stood up. "Make it last forever and ev--...shit!" I jumped and dropped a ream of paper when I saw him in the doorway.

"Oh, Ms. Charlotte, are you gonna sing for me?" he said, winking. I couldn't help but smile.

"Ha, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" I countered. He bent to pick up the ream of paper, placed it back in the box, and picked the entire box up easily.

"Yeah, but I'd rather you dance for me."

My eyes got wide that time. I stared him in the face for a few seconds--as usual, he was grinning. My eyes narrowed. I was angry at the reaction because that's what he seemed to want. Tina was within earshot and I heard her boisterous laugh. "Orion, leave that girl alone!"

"Yeah," I whispered, sticking out my tongue, "Leave me alone."

"I can't," he whispered back, looking right into my eyes.

The butterflies in my stomach had been replaced with a bat out of hell. I"m surprised he couldn't hear my heartbeat or feel my warmth. Louder this time, he called to Tina, "I'm going to carry this box of paper for Ms. Charlotte."

"Yeah, uh-huh," Tina laughed boisterously, "You're gonna get in trouble, homeboy."

We walked to the elevator without talking. "You didn't have to carry the entire box."

"You're right. I should've let you take a single ream so I'd see you again every time you'd need another one."

We exited the elevator, and I led him to our printer. He looked around when we got there. "You can sit it anywhere," I stated.

"Ditto," he said. Before I could even process what he'd said, he continued, winking.

"Hi Andrea! Isn't that what they used to call a copied worksheet? A ditto?" he turned, asking innocently.

"Hi Orion," Andrea said, walking into the copy room, "Yes, that was a million years ago though. Your age is showing. Hey, thanks for bringing up the paper."

"Yes," I said nodding, "Thanks."

"Anytime ladies. Anytime." He sauntered off, taking one last look at me.

"What's wrong with him?" Andrea asked, "He's never up here. I've seen him on our floor three or four times, just this week."

I shook my head, and began refilling the paper in the machine.

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It had gotten to the point where something had to give. I'd decided one of three things was happening: he was either definitely interested, he was just flirting for fun, or he thought I was a joke. I had to be reading into his words. I had to be exaggerating his actions. He did not find my fat ass attractive--did he? Finally, I decided to just ask him. I knew I wouldn't get through it if I asked him face to face, so I decided to email.

I began typing "Orion." His email popped right up--Orian Maxwell. In the subject line, I typed: "question." After writing and deleting a dozen drafts, I eventually sent this:

Hey. I have to ask you. Are you actually flirting with me? Are you play flirting? Or are you just making fun of me? I can't tell.

I pressed send and immediately closed my laptop.

It was lunch time, and I needed to get out of the office. I made it past the tech office without seeing anyone. Despite it being almost freezing, I drove to a nearby park to eat my sandwich. I decided to walk the circular trail through a grove of trees that ended at the same parking lot I sat in now. I just couldn't sit still. And I could use the exercise. I thought about the events of the upcoming couple of weeks. Christmas was in 4 days, but I wasn't going home. I didn't tell anybody that. I didn't want a pity invite to someone's perfect holiday dinner where everyone had a gift but me. My family was riddled with drug addicts who refused to go to rehab, so the holidays had never really been any different than any other time of year. It was a cruel twist of fate that I landed a job at a rehab center. I got to see other people detox and re-learn how to be a sober member of society, but never my own. In fact, I was going to work Christmas Day and Eve.

I had always been a loner anyway, so it wasn't a big deal that I hadn't met anybody other than coworkers since I'd moved to Louisville a month before. Andrea nearly forced me to agree to attend her New Year's Eve party. I really, really wanted to stay home under the covers and watch movies. But I was putting myself out there. I had already ordered a dress from Amazon. I had to create the life that I wanted here. I despised letting anyone see me cry, but I felt my eyes welling up at the thought of being all alone in the world. The pathway opened up and I could see my car in the parking lot. I wiped my eyes, took a deep breath of the cold air, and got into my car.

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My afternoon class zoomed by. I exaggeratedly put on my coat, packed up the rolling crate I sometimes used, and said a cheerful good-bye to Andrea. Both she and Tina invited me to their family dinners, but I assured them both I had plans. And I wasn't actually lying. A few days earlier I had asked the executive director Cici if I could do anything at work while everyone else was on holiday. She was thrilled when I offered.

"Are you serious?" she squealed, before pulling me into a hug, "You are saving my life Charlie!"

"I am?" I asked as she pulled away from me, still celebrating.

"Yes. We were only going to have 10 residents stay, but Tina just told me there were actually going to be 14. We have to have one staff member for every 10 residents. I was going to have to make Ellen or Jackson come in, but if you're available, you can serve as a "behavior tech" instead."

"So, what does a "behavior tech" actually do?" I questioned, just as her cell phone rang.

She answered but held the phone away from her mouth to whisper, "I'll get with you tomorrow, okay?"

She hadn't gotten with me, so I was heading to her office on my way out the door. If she wasn't there, I"d just have to show up and wing it, I guess.

Luckily, she was sitting at her desk, eating a frosted doughnut when I walked in. She turned the box toward me, so I took one and let the sweetness fill my mouth before asking what I would be doing for the next two days.

"Honestly? Next to nothing," she said, as if it were a secret. "You'll just be on hand if there are any behaviors.You had the restraint training, right?"

I nodded. I hadn't ever had to use it.

"You'll walk around during breakfast from 9-10. They'll have individual telehealth therapy appointments from 10-11, so they'll take turns in the private therapy rooms, so just make sure they go in and out timely. They have free time instead of their normal class time, 11-12:30. Most residents watch tv, play games, workout, attend virtual church, sometimes just nap. You can work on anything you want during this time--planning, reading, anything but sleeping, because you don't have to respond unless the alarm goes off."

"Lunch is from 12:30 - 1:30."

I nodded.

"And instead of their afternoon class, they'll have free time again from 1:30 - 3:00."

"Okay," I replied.

"Group therapy is from 3:00 - 4:30. Marissa is coming just to do that, so you'll just be on the monitors again. They'll eat dinner from 4:30 - 5:30. The cafeteria is planning something special, so feel free to eat as you walk around."

I nodded, letting her continue as I took another bite of the doughnut.

"After dinner, they will leave for their AA or NA meetings off campus. There will be transportation techs working on a short schedule to take them back and forth, so don't worry about that. They should be back by 7:30pm."

She took a breath and licked chocolate off her fingers. "From 7:30-9:30 they have their regular free time--but they have to be in their rooms by 9:30--lights out."

"Okay, so truly, just monitoring," I clarified, "Unless there is an alarm."

Cici smiled, "Exactly! Edward and Lucy will take over at 9pm and stay until you return at 9am." Edward was a burly, blonde, thirty-something. He had zero personality, but was always helpful in an alarm situation. Lucy was a voluptuous redhead--so pretty I almost had a crush on her myself. The two beautiful people worked well together.

"So will I be with Andrew?" I reasoned, one of the other behavior techs. He was tall and skinny, so I scowled when I thought about the two of us restraining a resident together. Andrea said he was lazy too. Maybe Thomas--ugh, please not Thomas. "You said you can only have 10 residents for each monitor."

"No, Andrew is going to visit his mother in Wisconsin," Cici explained, "You'll be with Orion."

My stomach clenched. "No," I tried to clarify "Which other tech will I be with?"

"Orion decided to take the day shift. He was upset that he might have to pull another tech away from their holiday last minute, but you solved that problem. Edward and Lucy volunteered for the night shift. Ellen and Jackson are the least experienced, so it would've been one of them to fill in," Cici explained, oblivious to my despair.

"Um," I started, desperately, "Can Lucy or Edward switch with me? I'll work the night shift. That'll actually be better for me--"

She held up her hand. I stopped.

"Are you saying you can't work?" Cici asked bluntly. This was one of the things I loved about Cici. I panicked and paused for a second too long.

"No," I said resignedly. I grit my teeth. "I'll be here at 9."

"Excellent!" she said, clapping once. I shoved the rest of the doughnut in my mouth and smiled while I chewed. She waved me away, standing to put her coat on. She had plans, just like everyone else. Except me. And apparently Orion.

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"What the fuck?" I said, hitting my steering wheel with my palm, still sticky from the doughnut. I put it to my mouth, licking absentmindedly. How was I going to survive with Orion's constant barrage of comments and questions and smiles and smirks and innuendos? I let my forehead hit the steering wheel this time.

"Dammit!" I said, trying to wipe the sugar glaze from my forehead now. Even more frustrated, I started my car, turned the music up, and backed out of the parking space slowly. I hopped on the expressway, loudly singing along with Outkast, Migos, Lil Wayne, and Eminem. I always do that when I'm stressed. By the time I got home, I felt much better. It's only two days, I told myself. He's not your type, I reiterated. How old is he even? I wondered. Nobody likes your fat ass anyway, I resigned to myself. And you'll probably break your arm or something catastrophic while you're sitting down to watch the monitors, I reasoned. Now I feel worse, I thought.

I was normally too tired to shower at night, so I'd shower when I woke up, rushing, hair wet, to work every day. I wasn't tired tonight. I was keyed up. So I knew I should shower before bed. Yeah, I thought, that's the only reason. Not so your hair will be dry by morning. So you can flat iron it. So you'll have time to put on makeup. So you can impress someone at work. Shut up! I told myself. I showered leisurely, taking time to deep condition my hair, shave my legs, and exfoliate. I wrapped my hair up in a towel, finally sleepy, and went to bed.

I had nightmares about a malfunctioning alarm clock, a fall down the stairs, a flat tire, and a dozen other things that might make me late or unable to work. Nothing like that happened.

I sat, contemplating what I should wear, while I ate breakfast. I'd already flat-ironed my hair and put on a little eyeshadow and mascara. That was the most makeup I ever wore. We were allowed to dress casual, so I decided to be comfortable and possibly cute. I had a new fuschia bomber jacket. I paired it with semi-tight jeans, a white tee, and white Reeboks sneakers. On my way out the door, I decided (last minute) to pull my hair up into a ponytail, to be sure I didn't look like I was trying too hard. I pulled the bomber jacket off and put on my denim jacket instead. But that looks stupid with my denim jeans. So I pulled off the jeans and put on leggings. Dammit. I said fuck it. I put the first outfit back on and left. The cold wind hit me as soon as I left my building. I should've worn a bigger coat. I decided against going to get another one, since I was almost late and I'd only be outside for a few minutes at a time, entering and exiting my car. And I'd already changed clothes fourteen times. I shook my head and turned on my music, blasting both it and my heat on my way to work.