The Game of Golf

This is a story about my step-father's interaction with me growing up at one time or the other and his love for the game of golf.

The second part is a Tongue in Cheek story. No BTB or RACC.

Two part story.

Definition- Tongue and Cheek- insincerity, irony, or whimsical humor, parody.

Thanks to the Marlboro man for editing and me actually using his suggestions. Any mistakes are still mine.

Remember like my teenage daughter used to say. "This is my world, and you are passing thru to it serve my needs."

The Game of Golf

He confessed but will she believe him?

"Come home, we have to talk." The four words that when every man hears them makes him wonder why he ever got married in the first place.

"Ok honey I am on my way home now," I replied. My name is Daniel O'Shaughnessy. Try putting that name on anything that requires you to write it out.

I knew I had been playing too much golf lately. For the last three months I was playing 18 holes after work every day and 4 to 5 rounds on the weekends. I have even gone on two, weeklong golf vacations to resorts without my significant other, her name is Carla. She is not a happy camper."

As for me I run a small startup engineering company. We design jet engine parts of the big boys. Pratt and Whitney, GE, and Rolls Royce and so on. We also come up with fixes for their screw ups.

I had worked for the big boys until 3 years ago when I struck out on his own. I took 5 engineers with me from my previous employer. Not bad for a 32 year old graduate from Georgia Tech with a PHD in Mechanical Engineering.

"Don't do it, Don't do it, you idiot when are people are going to learn drive," I said aloud.

A Buick Le Sabre whipped out in front of me from a cross street fish tailing side to side with wheels smoking and swerving back and forth trying to gain control of the car, then slowed down to 10 mph below the speed limit.

This caused me to slam on and lock up my brakes. "God dammit learn to drive assh...," I screamed then smiled.

I looked at the back of the head of the driver in front of me to see a small person with a golf hat pulled down to the top of his ears. The drivers ears stuck straight out. They would make Dumbo jealous. On the license plate was the verbiage WWII vet.

The car put on its blinker at the last second and turned right and into the Chevron station. Needing gas myself I pulled in behind him and chose the pump on the other side of the island from the senior man.

I started laughing when the old man got out. The man was wearing Bermuda shorts, black socks, and black oxford shoes. The man appeared to be in his late eighties, and he appeared to be only a shadow of the former man that he was. The man got out, popped up his clip-on sunglasses and looked over at me and smiled. I smiled back, he caught me staring at him.

The man's smile went away and with a concerned look he ask, "son do I know you?"

I smiled back at him, "yes and no sir." The man looked confused, so I explained. "I knew a man just like you. You remind me of my step-father. He was one of the finest men I ever known."

Dan stuck the gas nozzle in the tank. "He taught me to be a man, right from wrong, and how to treat other people without compromising my moral's."

The old man smiled and replied, "thank you."

I paused for a second and asked, "where did you serve? My dad served in Europe as a foot soldier, in Bradley's Army."

The old man told me he served in the Marines in the Pacific. He walked across Iwo Jima.

I heard the gas handle click telling me my tank was full. Putting the nozzle back into the tank I told the old man to have a good day and headed for home.

My mind wondered back to my Dad. Yes, I called my stepfather Dad. I was with him from the time I was 3 to the day he died of cancer. He was the only father I had ever known. I thought back to the time I was 21 and when this girl that wanted to go out with me and was asking my mom about me.

My mom asked me why I wasn't interested. I told her how any could any man be stupid enough to marry a single woman with kids, he had to be crazy.

I realized as soon as I said it that I messed up. I had forgotten my Dad wasn't my biological father. I apologized to my Dad and mother. I told my mother that it was the fact she had three kids at 22 and never been married.

My Dad sat there and said, "Dan, that comment was probably the truest thing I have ever herd you say," all the while getting the evil eye from my mom.

To tell you the truth I really didn't know who my father was I had so many last names. They were, take- the-trash-out, do-your-homework, cut-the-grass, but I was pretty sure it was really clean-up-your-room, that I heard almost every day.

I also had a another first name it was 'Dammit.' So, I finally wrote on my homework paper I turned in one day, Dammit Daniel Clean-up-your-room. That got me a three day afterschool study hall for using a cuss word.

You don't appreciate anything until it's gone. But the more I learned about him after he died from his friends and proteges, the prouder I became to be known as his son.

He was drafted into WWII at 18. He was 5-7 and weighed in at a whopping 125 lbs. He landed in France on D-Day plus 4. Which means he landed 4 days after D-Day's initial landing.

Fighting Hitler and the Nazi's was different than fighting the Japs. The Japs never wanted to invade the U.S. they just wanted us out of Asia so they could run rough shot over it. A Japanese Admiral was asked why they didn't try to invade the U.S. He replied, "you cannot invade mainland United States. There would be a sniper behind each blade of grass." The Japanese thought that everyone in America had guns because of the Constitution.

Now Hitler was a different animal. He wanted to rule the world. His biggest mistakes besides invading Russia was thinking the U.S. people were soft. You might ask yourself, 'where did he get this idea from?' He had watched too may Hollywood movies and reading how easy people in Hollywood had it.

Hitler failed to realize that most of the generation he was going to be fighting against grew up during the depression. They were under fed and had to work and scrapped like dogs to survive. Going to war was going to be an easy transition.

When my Dad picked out the location where he wanted mom and him to spend eternity at, it was at the top of a 40 foot mausoleum. I asked him why way up their? He started telling me about his war experiences. Up till then he wouldn't even acknowledge they happened.

It was funny how his two brothers would always talk about the war, but they were in support roles one in logistics and the other in going over aerial reconnaissance examine bombing photographs. But again, they never heard bullets flying by their head. My Dad was a foot soldier.

He arrived on the Beaches of Normandy in June 1944. He was a replacement for the soldiers that were killed in the previous days.

He explained to me during the battle of St. Lo they had been bogged down for a week's fighting 10 yards at a time thru the section called 'The Hedge Rows.' You could hide a column of tanks in 'The Hedge Rows' and never see them until they opened up on you.

Finally, the U.S decided to bring in 550 fighter bombers and 2000 B-17 bombers to drop 500 and 1000 pound bombs to obliviate the German Army. It was called Operation Cobra.

But leave it the upper echelons to really screw things up, it was a big S.N.A.F.U. (This was a military term for "Situation Normal All Fuck Up.) Eisenhower ordered the planes to make their bombings runs parallel to the U.S. army by making their run west to east, but noooo!!!

Half of them came in perpendicular to the troops and dropped the bombs short on my dad's battalion. They killed around 111 and wounding 500 of our men. The bombs buried him under 5ft. of dirt. He was purple by the time they pulled him out. That is why he refused to be buried under ground.

The Germans got it far worse. The German General Fritz Bayerlein radioed his upper commanders, "my men are still in their fox holes, still and mute, because they are dead. Dead. Do you understand?"

"My front Lines look like the face of the moon," Bayerlein went to say, "at least 70% of my troops were out of action -- dead, wounded, crazed or numb."

The bombs also blew out my Dad's ear drums and damaged the diaphragm that separated the lungs from the rest of the body. He would later have surgery in his 80's to repair it when it finally tore. His stomach was being sucked up into the lung cavity.

He went on to tell me the story of how he received his second purple heart two weeks before the Battle of the Bulge. He had been promoted to sergeant by that December of 1944. You got field promotions basically like the Klingons of Star Trek did, thru attrition except he didn't kill his superior officer. It was next man through longevity. That meant everyone above him had been killed or wounded.

He was in Belgium in the Ardennes Forrest when a German M42 machine gun let loose on his squad. The American's had nicknamed it 'the Buzz-Saw.' Why may you ask? Because it fired so fast it sounded like one.

He grabbed two of his men to go with him to encircle the German emplacement. He told me until this day he still couldn't imagine where the shots came from that hit him. The first one hit his left arm right below the shoulder joint breaking his upper arm.

As he spun around the second one went into the spot right below the left shoulder blade from behind going out his chest. He went down to the ground and saw his two men laying there motionless. Bleeding out he grabbed the one nearest him with his good arm and drug him 200 yards back to his line.

He woke up 6 weeks later in England in a military hospital. He told me that it still haunted him not knowing what happened to the other two men. He never told anyone but me and my mother what happened. Mom told me that Dad still had nightmares even in his 70's about that day.

He told me those two bullets saved his life. Two weeks later in the 'Battle of the Bulge' his entire battalion was wipe out by the Nazi's, he would have been killed.

He was sent back to the states where the Army gave him his second purple heart and he served as an MP. Then the army took 2 years of sergeant's pay back because he could not prove he was promoted in the field. Everyone in his battalion was dead and the records destroyed.

He got out and would receive a check for 40 dollars a month from Uncle Sam for the rest of his life because of his wounds. His left arm wouldn't straighten and was 1 inch shorter. The amount went up over the years.

He used the newly created GI Bill to get a two year engineering degree. 15 years later he met my mother. He married her and took in me and my sister. It was his second marriage. The first one she cheated on him with a co-worker. He had one daughter with her.

In the early 2000's the VA called him to go over his records. He told them his story about losing his rank and other things that arose from his injury's. He was asked if he had anger issues about his government. He told them hell yes is pissed off at the government.

He was not a fan of Bill Clinton. Not because of his politics but because of his morals. Bill Clinton also cheated at golf.

He was asked about counseling for PTSD because it sounded like he was suffering from it. My dad said you kidding right. They called it being "shell shocked" back then and no. By the time he left that day he was considered to be 90% percent disabled because of his arm, ear damage, asthma, and PTSD.

They would not give him back all those years of sergeant's pay, but from then on he would receive his new disability check based off of that rank and his other added problems. YEAH!! For once one the good guy's win.

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My Dad loved the game of golf. He would spend hours watching Lee Trevino, Jack Nicklaus, and Arnold Palmer. As for me I preferred the big three, baseball, football, and basketball.

When I was ten my Dad started taking me to the golf driving range and to play golf on a par 3, 9 hole golf course. By taking me to the smaller course it let me prefect my short game and putting skills. I only used my driver when I was on the driving range.

My first lesson on character and what kind of man I wanted to become was taught to me on that short course. One day I sat up to putt and I accidently tapped the ball I was going to putt. I reset and dropped in a ten footer. I took a Par for the hole.

My Dad asked me about the tap I made on the ball and I told him it was an accident, so I didn't count it. He told me to pick up my clubs we were through for the day. As you can imagine I was really upset about having to quit.

We drove us to the local McDonald's, and he bought me burger, fries, and a coke. I think the cost was 45 cents. He hadn't spoken to me from the time we left until we were through eating. He told me to go and throw the trash in the garbage and come back and sit down.

I sat back down and looked into my Dad's eyes. "Dan" he asked, "what type of man do you want to be?" I had no idea what in the hell he was talking about. He could see that I was confused.

He spoke again, "you know you cheated, don't you?"

I was shocked, "no Dad I didn't."

"Son didn't you touch the ball when you addressed it?" My father asked while looking directly at me.

"Yes sir," I replied.

Giving me the 3^rd degree, he asked, "Did you count the stroke when you tapped the ball?"

"No Sir," I replied again.

"Then you cheated," he stated again.

"Dad it is not important, no one will ever know." As I was trying to downplay it the importance of it.

Dad asked, "do you know what character is, Daniel?" Dam he used my entire first name. I thought to myself. Then I replied "no."

"Let me explain it to you this way Dan. Let's say you walk into a room and saw a million dollar bill sitting on a table that belonged to someone. Would you steal it?" He asked.

"No sir, that's stealing" I replied like the genius I thought I was.

"What if no one knew you took it?" asked dad.

"No, I wouldn't, and besides, they will see that it was gone, and I would get caught," again I was top on my game.

"What about if you walked in and you saw 1 million one dollar bills strown about the room and no one has ever counted them. If you took some of it no one would ever know?"

"No, Dad I wouldn't take it that is stealing and a sin!" I replied.

"Son that is character," my father explained in seriousness. "It is something you give yourself, no one else can give it to you. But with that being said no one can take it away from you either. As you grow up you have will have the opportunity to give yourself, character, honor, and integrity. No one can take it away from you only you can give it away."

"Just like that putt no one would ever know that you did that but you," he pointed out. " If you start cheating now it will get easier the older you get. First it is the putt, then the dollar, then a test, then stealing millions of dollars from old people. Heck it will justify you cheating on you wife. You will end up with no character, no honor, or integrity and it will be you that had have given it away."

"Dad I promise I will never do that again," I said having gotten his point. "And don't worry about me cheating on a wife, I'm never getting married. You have to kiss a wife, yuck!"

"Dan, I saw those little girls in you classroom they are cute," he said with a smile.

"Dad," I replied with disgust, " they are bossy, and they talk too much."

My Dad started laughing at me. "Dan, they are mothers and wives in training, and it will never change. While we are here have you noticed anything about yourself lately."

"No sir, except I am getting taller and my jeans are too short." I answered.

My Dad looked at me nervously and asked, "Have you noticed anything else like a change in the morning when you wake up or going to the bathroom in the morning?"

"No Dad, why?" replying with curiosity.

"No just I was just wondering," I noticed a snicker in his voice.

We had the "talk" again several years later.

My Dad belonged to the Lion's Club. It is an organization that raises money for kid's needs. We got to work the concessions stands at the footballs games to raise money for charity. I got to see every game that year at Legion Field and for the next five years for free.

I got to see one of the most famous games in college football history. It was the "Game that change college sports."

Bear Bryant had called John McKay the head coach of the University of Southern California and asked him if he would come play Alabama at Legion Field. The alumni would not let him recruit but a token number of black players.

It was the game that when the USC's 'Sam the Bam Cunningham' came in and he ran over the all-white Alabama football team. They won that year 42-21 and Alabama was beaten far worse than the score showed.

Bear Bryant then told the Alabama alumni after that game he would leave if he couldn't recruit the players he needed to win. They relented.

A few years later after another Alabama and Auburn game he took me to the restaurant/ bar called the Office. I sat in the restaurant and ate while he went into the Bar with his friends to have a few beers. That year Auburn had won by blocking a couple of punts.

My father had an Alabama hat on and was taking some ribbing about it. He got up to go to the restroom when two drunk Auburn fans had cornered him coming out. All of a sudden two huge men got between them and my father and threatened to kick their ass then and there if they didn't back off.

On the way home I asked my dad who they were. He told me they were former Auburn football players he had mentored when they did their internships at his company. For years he would get calls from former students wanting to take him to play golf. Eventually they had moved up to be CEOs and head of their own companies, but they still sought out his advice, on how to handle problems, whether personal or professional problems that they were having.

Now you might have heard of the saying, "what goes on in Vegas stays in Vegas." My dad came up with that saying, sort of.

When I was twelve my father took me to my first regulation par 72 golf course. He needed me to make up a foursome and he thought I was ready. On the 15^th hole he hooked the ball over the fence that bordered the course on the left side of the fairway. All of the sudden I heard my father yell, "Goddammit motherfucker."

I didn't say anything until my mom asked me what happened. Without realizing it I ratted my Dad out. I repeated what he said without thinking. As a result, he didn't let me play golf with the men until I was 15. That was when I learned, "What goes on on the golf course stays on at the golf course." Sound familiar?

The one of few times I saw my dad get exasperated with me was when I quit playing golf. At the time I was 15 and I was shooting in the mid-seventies. He thought I could go pro if I worked at it by playing more than once a week and actually practicing. But my first love was bowling. He ask me why I liked it so much bowling.

"Dad," I replied, " it is 72 degrees all year round and my ball always comes back to me and not to mention I've never lost a bowling ball."

You remember "the talk" the one that I mentioned earlier when it came up again. I failed my driver's license eye test when I was 16. No wonder I had problems turning on a fastball. I came home with my new pair of glasses.

Without cracking a smile, my Dad said, "I told you if you didn't quit doing that you would get acne and go blind." My mom started giggling.

Dan, "do we need to have the talk?" enquired Dad.

I quipped back, "what would you like to know Dad? Need some pointers." My mom and dad both burst out laughing."