The Girl in Her Vest and Pants

Martin said, "But I don't want to catch a train."

Constable Theresa 'Terri' Sprogg said, "The Police Station Sir."

Martin said, "But I've got no clothes on."

Constable Theresa 'Terri' Sprogg said, "I am arresting you under Section Six of the Going around in public with no clothes on Act of 1723. You do not have to say anything but if you don't say anything and later want to say something and you didn't say it now then you really ought to have said it now because we might use it against you in fact we'll probably use it against you anyway."

Martin was speechless. He wanted to say something but couldn't think what.

Constable Theresa 'Terri' Sprogg said, "Please accompany me to my vehicle Sir. It's down the far end of the street."

Martin, completely nude and hands cuffed behind his back, was pushed out of the front door.

Constable Theresa 'Terri' Sprogg acknowledged the cheers of the waiting crowd. Mrs Prendergast and her friends were great devotees of The Plod and had turned out in numbers to watch this episode being filmed. Though the lack of any cameras somewhat surprised them.

Mrs Prendergast turned to her friend Mrs McGonagle and said, "I don't know what the BBC is coming to. We didn't used to see men's willies on the telly in the old days. And it isn't even a very big one." She looked disappointed.

Constable Theresa 'Terri' Sprogg said, "This isn't for the telly. I'm arresting him for going round in public with no clothes on."

Mrs Prendergast said, "In that case can we pelt him with rotten tomatoes."

Constable Theresa 'Terri' Sprogg thought hard. She said, "There's no law against it."

Mrs Prendergast handed out the tomatoes. She took aim at his willy. It was a good shot considering it was a moving target. As Martin felt the first tomato land on his most vulnerable bit Veronica was rummaging in his kitchen. She found the coffee and sighed. She hadn't got the chance to drop her knickers for him. I mean it had been rather limp, but she could have worked on it. She put the kettle on and sat down to wait. Yes, she could work on it. He'd be back some time. She could clean the tomatoes off and work on it.

*******************

Down at Letsby Avenue Police Station Sergeant William 'Bill' Constable was still working on one across.

Constable Theresa 'Terri' Sprogg said, "I've arrested the villain Sarge."

Sergeant William 'Bill' Constable said, "Did you parade 'im through the streets stark naked?"

Constable Theresa 'Terri' Sprogg said, "Of course Sarge."

Sergeant William 'Bill' Constable said, "Well stick 'im in the cell with them miscreants."