The Girl in the Sex Shop

I'm a dirty old man. You don't have to take my word for it, I work in a sex shop. It's not that seedy a place, but they never get, shall we say, the most discerning of patrons. Especially since the advent of the internet.

Talking of the internet, most of our business is done online these days. I get in in the morning and go through the overnight orders (people seem reticent to buy stuff from their work computers, I wonder why?) while I wait to see if anybody's coming in today. I get a few phone calls a day, and there are some regulars who know when the publications they're most interested arrive, but generally it's a quiet life. I like it like that - twenty years ago, you'd have a bunch of weirdos hanging around, leering at the few women who did come in.

Nowadays we'll see more women, usually in couples with their boyfriend or something, or in groups when they're planning for a bachelorette party or something. I like those girls, as they used to buy tacky shit, but now they want good stuff for their parties, and they usually want lots of it.

Anyway, It was a quiet day and this red head chick comes in. She wasn't bad looking, but was dressed down, in sweat pants and a sweat shirt. She wasn't wearing much, if any makeup. I did notice the wedding ring though, so I was thinking she was shopping for a gag gift, as anything personal and I'd have expected her to bring her husband along. Or, you know, him to have brought her.

Anyway, I like to flatter the ladies, plus seem like I'm here to help.

"Can I help you miss?"

"I'm looking for a butt plug," she said.

Matter of fact, just like that. Like she was asking about a new phone or hat or something. I was a little taken aback, but I tried not to show it.

"What size?"

"Um... a beginner size, like small?"

Ah, a newbie, despite the confidence. I smiled at her, in my best, non-creepy, way.

"It's OK sweetie," I said, "we can get you sorted out."

I put down the box I was working on and came around the counter to lead her to a display.

I pointed out something towards the smaller end of the line. I don't see the point in the really small ones. They're not going to stretch you out or anything.

"This would be a good size to start out with. You'll know it's there, but it won't hurt you."

She didn't look totally convinced. I was pretty sure she'd never even thought to Google this stuff before coming in, so maybe this was a spur of the moment thing.

"You put it in with lube," I told her. "Do you have any lube?"

She shook her head, so I opened the cabinet with a key, and picked up the butt plug and handed it to her.

"It's cold," she said.

I closed and locked the cabinet, then walked over to the row of different lubes.

"Do you have a preference?" I asked her.

She shook her head, so I selected a bottle and handed it to her.

"Did you want to try it on?" I asked, grinning.

Of course she'd know I was joking.

"Uh, have these been tried on by other people?" she asked.

Uh, she was going to try it on? Now I was screwed - I haven't cleaned the dressing rooms in, well, weeks. Hell, one's full of boxes and porn. Because, you know, nobody ever uses them, this is a sex shop.

"Oh no," I said. "I don't let people test the merchandise usually, I just think you're a cute little thing, and I'd like to make sure you're happy with your purchase."

"Um, OK, I guess. Do you have, like, a fitting room or something?"

I shook my head. I wondered what she was going to do now. I guess if push came to shove, she could use the toilet. The office is always a mess.

"So where would I try it?"

"Here," I said. "I can lock the door if you'd prefer, but nobody ever comes in here during the day."

She wasn't going to go for that. Was she?

"I think I would prefer the door locked."

Fuck me, I was going to get to watch her put a butt plug in. In real life. I'd have to act like I see this sort of thing all the time, and not spook her, or she'd bolt.

I didn't say anything. I just went and locked the door.

"There you go, sweetie."

"OK, what's the process?"

"Well, you're worried about it being cold - the best thing to do is heat it up."

"Like in the microwave? It's metal."

"No," I said, "put it in your mouth."

Of course, she could just hold it against her skin, but this would look sexier.

"Uh..."

She wiped the butt plug on her sweatshirt, then sniffed it. She opened my mouth and put it in. Christ, I was getting really turned on already, watching this little show. I just hoped she wouldn't lose her nerve.

"Now you'll need to pull your drawers down," I said.

She actually pulled her sweatpants down. I looked at her dull, housewife underwear. She pulled them down too, and she was mostly shaved with a little red haired landing strip. She looked amazing... the sweatpants hid her charms. I found myself nodding, and wondering if there was a away I'd get her to take her shirt off too.

"OK, so now you wipe the lube on the plug, and push it up your butt."

She pulled the plug out of her mouth, and dripped lube on it.

"You probably want to be quick, so it doesn't cool down too much."

She looked at me, and I nodded to her. She was standing facing me, and reached around behind her to push it in.

"Bend over," I said, "and spread your legs apart."

She did. It didn't look like it was going in easily.

"Relax," I said, "act like you're trying to take a shit."

I saw the tension in her shoulders relax a little, and all of a sudden she gasped. I assumed it had gone in.

"Now," I said, "make sure you can take it out."

I could see the tension in her arm change, from pushing to pulling.

"Like you're taking a shit," I said again.

It popped out.

"That's probably about the right size then," I said. "Did you want to wear it home?"

"Sure," she said, and popped it back in, like I'd told her.

I straightened up, with her drawers still around her knees.

"Can you take a picture for me?" she asked.

Holy cow! I was going to get to see her pussy properly, wasn't I? I still wanted to see her tits, but this would have to do.

"Sure," I said, taking her phone that she offered.

She bent over again, and pulled her cheeks apart. I stood behind her and took a couple of pictures with her phone. She had a really pretty pussy, with no hair. I could see her lips, so I like to think she was even a little turned on.

"There you go," I said, after gazing at her for a few more seconds.

She pulled her clothes up and stood up straight again.

"Eventually you probably won't need lube, but you should use it for now."

We walked back to the counter. I went past and unlocked the door again.

"See? Nobody comes in at this time of day."

She paid up, in cash, I notice, and started towards the door.

"Your husband's a lucky man."

"Oh," she said, "this isn't for my husband," and walked out the door.

We need to get one of those security cameras. Nobody's ever going to believe this.