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Needs an editor. The writing is verbose and reminds me of an AI generator’s tendency to use flowery language. The protagonist lacks real perspective. Someone proofreading your work would be able to point out that this chapter lacks clarity.
With his ex packing her stuff, I would have like to have heard about her reaction to seeing her roommate and friends fucking her ex boyfriend as she walked by.
I only gave her three cuz I'm not sure what's going on yet but I'll follow the story