The Hanover House

She then experienced a series of liaisons with different performers, valets and servers as expedients, again, in lieu of masturbating. Had she had sexual relations with the Concierge: no, not even once. The extent of their physical contact was her giving him a platonic kiss as part of a thank you when he would give or bestow a special privilege. Most recently, his giving his wealth and prestige to her warranted only a hug from her.

She occasionally had sex with patrons as part of private BDSM performances and lessons but nothing ever came of them. Similarly, she had sex with visiting Concierges but they all took the form of demonstrating her training.

She told him of her world tours to the different Hanover Houses, her performances there and the research she conducted into local sex customs and practices. Presenting these tours as further opportunities for academic research softened their impact on Doug. Early on in her relationship with Frank, actually before there ever was a relationship he had referred to these trips as her world sex tour. She had to admit his characterization more closely followed the truth than the one she was offering Doug.

Sophie explained the time she spent with sex workers on the streets as part of her graduate research work. No, she never engaged in sex with, for or alongside them. That was easy to describe. Doug asked a number of questions split somewhat evenly about what the research revealed and how she felt about the workers and her involvement with them.

While he was curious and at some points amused by some of the anecdotes she had from her time with them he didn't have any issues with her immersed in the illicit sex business as long as the police were involved to screen her from danger or community backlash.

He was not so understanding of the time she spent as a prostitute in Nevada. While legal and safe the thought of her selling her body and sex was an anathema to his value system. He understood her professor's motivation requiring her to gain the experience to better interpret her research findings but that didn't help him accepting it. It was a part of Sophie's life that he would not have chosen to know about.

How did she feel about that month she spent there? To her way of thinking fee-based sex was little different from casual sex at the Hanover House. Significantly different was the frequency and variety of sex partners. While sex partners at Hanover House were motivated not to abuse their in-house partners, notwithstanding the nature of the place and the activities it engaged in, there was less restraint among the Nevada brothel patrons. Further, some of the sexual preferences of the patrons were more deviant than the performances at Hanover House (if that can be believed!). Because her motivation was to gain as much exposure to the sex practices of men and women that weren't performers or professionals she was more receptive than most to the more extreme requests by some of the patrons, so much so that when other women selected from the line up found out what was desired they began referring clients to her. Of course, satisfying prurient interests commanded premium prices. It was primarily for this reason she was the top moneymaker for one of the weeks she spent at the brothel beating out some women that have been in the business for years and having well established clientele. Sophie felt that as long as Doug didn't want too many specifics it was something they could get past.

She completed her academic studies and was now one of the leading researchers in deviant sexual behavior with an international reputation. As a degreed psychologist and licensed sex therapist she enjoyed occasionally teaching and lecturing in her field. She was also an emeritus scholar at her university,

Next was the most difficult to tell. She was currently in a relationship with a vice cop she met as part of her street research. More specifically, he was her point of contact within the police department. Their arm's length relationship soon became intimate and over time emotionally bonded. Did she love him? Yes. Did her love her? Yes. How then could they resurrect their marriage if she had another love interest? Her response was that if they remained separated that should not be a problem. Under the terms of their separation both were able to pursue relationships with others without jeopardizing their legal status. He agreed. After all, he had tried to develop durable relationships with several women only to fail whereas Sophie succeeded.

What if they were able to resurrect their marriage? Well, that was more complicated. If Doug couldn't accept her having a lover then she would have to either break it off or the reconciliation would fail. That was his position. If she could agree to that then they had a basis to proceed. She agreed but harbored deeply held reservations about her ability to walk away from Frank. He offered so much and much that had never been achieved in all her years with Doug. For sure the opposite was true and that was her dilemma. When push came to shove how would she choose, could she choose? There was no need to answer that now. Her priority of the moment was to get Doug to help with the Hanover House and lay the basis for their reconciliation.

She had not told Frank of this trip or its purpose. At this point he was very vulnerable to the capricious winds of Sophie's whim and didn't know it. Oh, God, she thought. I'm going to have to go through this all over again with Frank. I wish my life were easier to understand and live.

-------------------------------------------------Doug had invited some old friends to dinner. Sophie hadn't seen them in almost seven years but they had once been very good friends and she looked forward to the evening. Taking the lead from Doug she helped with the preparations: shopping, food prep, cooking and cleaning the house. Doug had a housekeeper come in once a week but the place needed freshening for their guests. All this was done instead of them going to bed and making the kind of love that Sophie so loved. It was only recently that she and Frank had achieved this kind of intimacy and she treasured every moment of it. God, how could she choose between these two wonderful men? Is it possible each could tolerate the other? The chances were not great, poor in fact but she could hope for the best. She had to.

The evening was pleasant though strained. Their friends sympathized with Doug and the situation Sophie had put him in. They had tried unsuccessfully to find a partner for him only to be frustrated by his being unable to let go his feelings for Sophie. Left unsaid but clearly on their minds was what were Sophie's feelings for him? He had endured so much at her hand and yet seemed willing to put up with more. Why? No love could be so great to be tested as his had and survive.

They couldn't help but notice the changes in Sophie. She positively brimmed with confidence and command of her surroundings, including them. Her choice in clothing, hairstyle and makeup was not as they remembered. Her clothes, while conventionally casual were cut and fit to emphasis her figure; it had become lean and trim, and her movements sinuous. Her clothing was made of the finest materials and the tailoring perfect. Her hair was short with subtle highlights. Her makeup, while expertly and lightly applied created a more dramatic effect than they remembered. The conventional housewife with Midwestern good looks and appeal, and that favored simple clothing was now a professionally presented worldly woman that with casual sophistication was noticeably different from their fond memories of her and set her apart from them.

She had developed a perspective that while interesting and entertaining was foreign to their worldview. Although her conversation was pleasant it was peppered with words, phrases and observations that were the result of years of graduate training in psychology and sexual behavior in particular. Once the novelty of getting reacquainted with a long-time friend wore off it was clear how great the differences between them had grown. They had little in common with her now. These changes in Sophie and the situation she had put Doug in were too great to overcome. They left by nine o'clock.

-------------------------------------------------After the clean up Sophie and Doug settled in the living room with wine and reflected on what had just happened. Neither was surprised at how the evening went or concluded. Sophie knew she had nothing in common with them anymore. Though sad, she knew, better than most, she couldn't go back. Her world had narrowed her focus to the Hanover House, Doug and Frank. She had many employees and acquaintances, two lovers (Mi and Frank), a husband in name only and no friends (well, maybe Mi). Before the Hanover House Doug had been her best friend. She missed the casual familiarity that comes from nurtured love and camaraderie that they had once shared and she wanted it back.

As had happened before it seemed the only way they could start becoming intimate was after wine had blunted their mutual reluctance to initiate contact, allowing involuntary physical responses to take over. Tired, it had been a long day, having a slight buzz on and the pull of a long and frustrated desire to make love to the love of her life, Sophie overcame her reluctance to put her glass down. She closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his neck while kissing him with all the love and tenderness in her. Her breasts flattened by leaning into him in a comfortable way, her normally sensitive nipples did not respond. Their kiss complete she lingered in his embrace, molded to his body. Her heart rate slowed and a feeling of drowsiness overcame her, after all, this was a comforting embrace, not one grounded in passion. For a fleeting moment their embrace took her back to better times, but you can never go back.

He melted in her caress and kissed her back with tentative, explorative kisses while drinking in her perfume and scent. It took him back too but his barely functioning consciousness still registered their unfamiliarity and being uncomfortable each other. The difference between them: Sophie was euphoric to drink in the moment while Doug dreaded the moment being over.

As they transitioned from comfort to passion they fell into familiar routines of arousing and gratifying the other until both were on the brink of climaxing when Sophie introduced something to give Doug pleasure he had not enjoyed before. Leading to this point both had shed their clothing and had slid to the floor. She rolled him on his hands and knees and gently inserted her forefinger in his ass until she could feel his prostrate. Simultaneously she placed her other hand just above his pubic bone and pressed inward toward his core. The resulting pressure on his prostate through his bladder and counter from her finger forced an involuntary response, his pelvis jerked up and down until he ejaculated his semen into her waiting hand. "Just a little something I picked up from my Oriental friends." For the moment she sacrificed her orgasm to make his memorable knowing he would give her full measure and pleasure before the night was over.

Sophie spread his semen on her breasts and abdomen, lay down next to him and pulled him to her. Wrapping her arms and legs around him she pulled him into her and held him in a full-body caress while kissing him. Drinking in the muskiness of his semen and comforted by his contact Sophie held him as tightly as she was able. Using her vaginal muscles she pulled him further in. Her purpose was to hold him tight and secure to her, not milk him. Ever so slowly she started crying. Just a little loss of control at first it was followed by racking sobs and convulsions. Doug tried to comfort her. Between asking her what was wrong and if she was all right, he tenderly kissed her. Sensing she needed reassurance and not arousal he pulled her to him as he rolled to his side. Holding her head in the crook of his arm he used the other hand to repeatedly smooth her hair while whispering everything was going to be all right over and over, again.

Sophie regained control before lifting her head to kiss him. Telling him she was sorry, she said, "Oh, Doug, I'm so sorry. I've put you through so much. It was selfish of me, so selfish that I don't know if I'll ever be able to make it up to you. But, give me a chance. No one has ever loved you as much as me, and no one ever will. I love you and know you still love me. Please give us a chance. Will you?"

Doug kissed her back but said nothing. Instead, he held her until both drifted off to sleep. When he woke Sophie had her back to him while he held her. She was still sleeping when he pulled away. Grabbing his sleeping pants he went to the kitchen for coffee. He purposely didn't think about them or what she proposed until the coffee was ready, he wanted a clear head to think it through. Pouring a cup he retreated to a chair on the patio to chirping birds and a new dawn. The metaphor was not lost on him.

Putting the plusses and minuses together he concluded that there might still be hope for reconciliation, but there would have to be conditions. Comparing the merits of running the Hanover House to his practice in New Orleans the former won on every point. Faced with alternatives that weren't really comparable it all came down to Sophie. If they could reconcile then the Hanover House made the most sense. If not Sophie then he should stay here but with no prospects of finding someone to take her place. Taking a step back and trying to be objective (he couldn't, not really) the only conclusion he could draw was the need to reconcile with Sophie but he resolved to be cautious. He knew he was damaged and his shattered emotional state couldn't stand another test.

Half awake, Sophie turned and felt for Doug. There was unfinished business of her being brought to climax with Doug emptying his semen while in her. Making love early in the morning was especially sweet. Disappointed at being unable to find him she rolled on her stomach and spread out. Rubbing outstretched arms and legs on the bed linens she enjoyed the tactile sensation and comfort they offered while submerging herself in his lingering scent. After a moment or two she reluctantly got up and headed for the bathroom to begin the daily ritual of transitioning from half to fully awake. She hadn't brought sleep or loungewear. With so few choices she joined Doug on the patio in jeans and a t-shirt (sans underwear). Putting her coffee down she leaned over and gave him a kiss. After settling back she sipped her coffee and collected her thoughts. She hadn't yet said a word. Nor had he.

"I'm sorry about breaking down last night. It's really not like me. I've become an iron maiden always under the light of others' judgments where every misstep is magnified. Vulnerable, it's an emotion I rarely feel anymore."

"Vulnerable is when I like you best. Not to take advantage but, it's like a window into your soul and the real you is revealed. I like what I saw last night and wished it could be that way forever." Doug was looking in the distance the whole time. Sophie turned and while looking at him in profile smiled as she reached up and traced his jaw line with her finger. Putting her coffee down she wriggled closer and laid her head on his shoulder. Taking his hand in hers she drew it down between her thighs, not to make a sexual gesture but to comfort and join them.

It was a critical moment. Sophie knew he had to be the one to break their reverie. After several breaths he said, "You did a better job expressing my feelings than I could. Sophie, I love you, maybe more now than ever before. I feel like Job whose trials are finally over. I want us reconciled but have no doubt about the odds against it. A lot has happened these past years that left scars. For us to reconcile means that some of those scars have to be replaced with new growth while others, maybe most won't go away. If we're to make a go of this we'll have to accept and move past them. To do that will make demands I not sure we can meet."

Sophie was silent a long time. Slowly sipping her coffee a couple of times she said just as Doug started to prompt her, "I know it looks bad but I think we would be foolish not to try. If there is any chance at all we can reconcile and regain what we've lost I want to go for it."

"That's just the point, Soph. We can't regain what we've lost. The question is: Can we forge something new good enough to overcome what we've got now? But, I agree we should find out. If it's not to be then we can walk away knowing we tried and not regret our effort or what might have been. If we can then whatever healing we accomplish we'll know that the patient will live and it's just a matter of time how long we'll be in rehab. I want to go for it, too."

-------------------------------------------------The Concierge was disappointed to hear that she and her husband were attempting to reconcile their estrangement but did or said nothing to impede it. Like them, he held out little hope of their regaining a durable relationship. Of course, her relationship with her vice squad detective would further reduce the odds of them reconciling. He was content to let events proceed at their own pace, confident that she would eventually seek him out for advice and comfort.

Sophie told the Concierge of her plan to bring Doug to the Hanover House to manage their investment portfolio. He couldn't disagree with the need for someone qualified to oversee their investments and, despite knowing there was some animosity between them he agreed to work with Doug to analyze the portfolio and review his investment strategies.

Doug began commuting between New Orleans and the Bay Area. He found an apartment that Sophie helped furnish. She had not encouraged him to move in with her and was relieved to find he thought that premature. Over the next six months he transitioned out of his practice and was content to let his partners manage it in his absence. His name remained on the masthead in the event he returned and became active again.

His time with the Concierge gradually became more tolerable and gave way to a grudging respect for his investment acumen. He began testing his ideas with the Concierge on different portfolio compositions and eventually investments that he thought were sound. Those the Concierge thought had merit they pursued; those he did not, they did not. Over time their working relationship became grounded on mutual respect for the other but it never achieved a friendly status. Cordial and professional was the best they could manage. After all, Sophie stood between them.

Doug was sensitive to the Concierge and Sophie's relationship. Even though Sophie assured him they had never had sex it was clear that a tension existed between them. After several months he finally realized that the Concierge was in love with her but a lifetime of stoicism convinced him that he was not a threat to his and Sophie's reconciliation. Frank was another story.

Doug had carefully avoided meeting Frank for fear the stark contrast between them would hasten Sophie's decision to keep or abandon him as a lover. Doug wanted the reconciliation on his terms and that included its time line. He sensed that Sophie's commitment to their reconciliation was real and wanted it as much as he did. It seemed that everyday they grew closer and closer, again. But, there was Frank, always hovering in the background.

He hated his trips back to New Orleans because he knew Sophie and Frank would take those opportunities to strengthen their relationship and make love. It was one step backward for every two forward. Sometimes he wasn't so sure it wasn't one for one, or he lost a little ground every time he went home.