The Happy Jax Pocket Pussy

The first time Gloria knocked on my apartment door I thought that she must have been a courier. Although she wasn't dressed like a courier. And it wasn't as if I had been expecting a parcel or anything. Not on that particular day anyway. Also, I wondered how a courier could have got up to the fourth floor. Somebody would have had to let her in. And she would have needed a security tag for the lift.

'Hello. I'm Gloria,' she said. 'I'm just checking to make sure that you're OK.'

'Gloria?'

'Yes. Gloria,' she confirmed.

'Checking to make sure that I'm OK? I don't understand. Why, umm... why wouldn't I be OK?'

'It's just that Duncan said that he hadn't seen you for a few days. I just wanted to make sure that you were OK.'

Duncan is one of my neighbours. Duncan lives in Apartment 404. He's a bit weird. At least I think he's a bit weird. He has a website for people who believe in visits from extra-terrestrials. 'They're everywhere,' he keeps telling me. 'Martians especially. You just have to know where to look. Know how to spot the signs. But once you do... they're everywhere. Absolutely everywhere.'

'Duncan thought that you might have succumbed to this virus that's going around,' Gloria said.

'No,' I said. 'I'm fine. At least I think I'm fine. Certainly no snuffles or anything. My joints are a bit achy, but I think that's just the weather. All this rain we've been having.'

Gloria nodded. 'The damp,' she said. 'Yes. I find my fingers sometimes get a bit achy when the weather's like this. Or perhaps it's just that I'm getting old.'

Gloria wasn't old. I doubted that she was even 50. She was probably only in her late 40s. And she looked pretty fit. 'Old? No. You're not old,' I told her. 'Mind you, you don't have to be old to get a touch of arthritis. I knew a chap who had it when he was only in his twenties.' And then I wondered if Gloria was somehow connected to Duncan. 'Are you and Duncan...?'

For a moment or two, Gloria just frowned. 'Duncan and me?' she said. 'Oh. No. No-no. I'm in 501. Immediately above you.' And she pointed up to the ceiling. 'I just moved in last week. I bought the place a couple of months ago. But I thought I'd get it redecorated before I moved in. It's easier when there's no furniture to have to work around.'

'I suppose so,' I said. And then, just at the moment, the kettle that I had put on the hob to boil, to make some coffee, began to whistle.

'I think your kettle is trying to tell you that it's ready,' Gloria said. 'I'll let you get back to whatever. It was nice to meet you. And good to know that you are OK. That's the main thing.'

'Umm... yes. Right,' I said. It was only after Gloria had headed back to the lift that I thought that perhaps I should have invited her in for a coffee or something.

The next time that Gloria knocked on my door was four or five days later. 'Oh, hello,' she said. 'There was a parcel downstairs for you. I thought I'd bring it up. Save you the trouble of going down. It's not your birthday, is it?' And she laughed.

'My birthday? Umm... no. Why would it be my birthday?' And then I realised what she meant. 'Oh, the parcel. Yes. Umm... no. Probably just something from the book club.'

'Doesn't look like a book,' Gloria said. 'Still... anyway... you OK?'

'Umm, yes, I'm fine, thank you. Well... still a bit achy. But you know....'

'Well, this weather doesn't seem to want to give up, does it?' Gloria said.

'And you?' I asked.

'Oh, yes. Mustn't grumble. Anyway... I'll leave you to it. Let you unwrap your parcel.'

'Thank you,' I said. 'And thank you for bringing it up for me.'

I took my parcel and placed it on the kitchen countertop. If it was what I thought that it might be, the box was bigger than I had expected. But it was suitably anonymous-looking -- which was pretty much what the website had promised. And there was a good deal of heavy-duty packaging tape. It certainly wasn't in any danger of accidentally spilling its contents while in transit.

I took a sharp, thin-bladed, chef's boning knife from the knife block and carefully ran the tip of the blade along one of the edges. Then I did the same thing with two of the adjacent sides. With a bit of a jiggle, one end of the parcel came away, revealing a second, colourfully-printed box inside. It was what I thought that it was, what I had hoped that it was. I wiped off the boning knife and returned it to the knife block. And then, using my fingers, I carefully withdrew the printed box.

'Happy Jax Pocket Pussy' the bold type proclaimed. And then, below, in an elegant script, it said: 'The pleasure is all yours'. Well, yes. That's certainly what I was hoping, I thought. But, to be perfectly honest, this whole 'toys for boys' thing was totally new to me. I had always just relied on my hand.

And then there was another knock on the door. I was tempted to ignore it. But, in the end, I hastily hid the rather garishly-printed Happy Jax Pocket Pussy box behind the cornflakes box that was still out on the countertop and went to see who had come knocking.

It was Gloria again. 'Hello again,' she said, in her cheery way. 'I made some cheese muffins this morning. I thought that I should share them with you. I hope that you like cheese muffins.'

'Cheese muffins? Umm... yes. Very much,' I told her.

'Oh, good.'

And then, before I really thought things through, I said: 'You had better come in. I'll make us some coffee.'

'Oh, wonderful,' she said. 'Perfect.' And rather than handing the plateful of muffins to me, she walked right past me and placed the muffins on the kitchen counter.

I filled the kettle and placed it on the hob. And then, when Gloria was briefly distracted, looking at something or other out on the balcony, I adjusted the position on the cornflakes box to better conceal the Happy Jax Pocket Pussy box.

'How do you take your coffee?' I asked.

'What?' Gloria said. 'Sorry. I was just admiring your marigolds. Aren't the just the most magnificent colour?'

'Umm... yes. They are rather nice, aren't they? I think they are called French marigolds -- although I doubt if they have ever been anywhere near France. I think it's just a name.'

'So bright,' Gloria said. 'Anyway... you were saying something.'

'I was just asking how you took your coffee.'

'Oh, just with a dash of milk -- if you have some. Thank you.'

'Milk? No problem,' I told her.

While I turned to get the milk from the fridge, Gloria came over to kitchen counter and started to say something, and then stopped mid-sentence. 'Cornflakes,' she said. 'Gosh, it's been yonks since I had cornflakes. I somehow got into the habit of having muesli. I even made my own for a while there. You know... oatmeal... wheatgerm... a bit of dried fruit. Although now I just buy it again. It's easier. But cornflakes....' And she picked up the box. 'Kellogg's. Kellogg's was the original, wasn't it?'

'I, umm, think it might have been,' I said.

And then Gloria put the box back down again. But it was too late. 'Oh... and you have a Happy Jax Pocket Pussy!' (Gloria seemed strangely pleased to discover this.) 'I used to work for the company that distributed the Happy Jax Pocket Pussy,' she said. 'Well, that and about a hundred other naughty toys of one sort or another. But the Happy Jax was one of our best sellers. I think it was because it did what it said on the tin.' And she laughed. 'Also, it was sensibly priced. The prices of some of those toys are just silly. So... how do you find it?'

'I... umm....'

And then Gloria looked at the box and looked at me and then looked at the box again. And then she said: 'Oh! It's brand new, isn't it? Yes. Of course. Oh well... I think you'll find it very good. Very...' (and she smiled) 'satisfying. The trick is to use lots of lube. Lots of lube. I take it that you bought lube?'

'Lube? Umm... no,' I said. 'Should I have?'

'Well, you definitely need lube. Lots of it. That's the secret. But that's OK. I have heaps of the stuff. I bought up big before I left. Let me just run upstairs and get you some.' And, before I had a chance to say anything, she was gone.

When Gloria returned, she was carrying one of those plastic toolboxes with fold-out drawers that you often see plumbers carrying. She placed the box on the kitchen counter, opened it, and began folding out the drawers. 'My toybox,' she said with a cheeky smile.

Gloria reached inside her 'toybox' and pulled out a plump plastic tube with a flip top closure. 'Give me your finger,' she said. I held out my hand and Gloria squirted a small blob of clear gel onto my fingertip. And then she did the same to her own fingertip. 'There,' she said, as she rubbed her fingertip with the thumb of her same hand. 'Isn't that wonderfully slippery?' I had to admit that it was.

'Now,' she said, 'where's your Happy Jax?' And then she said: 'Oh, gosh, you haven't even opened it yet. Isn't this exciting?' And she pushed the box across the countertop towards me. 'You should be the one to open it,' she said.

'What? Now?'

'Oh, yes. There's no time like the present,' she said.

For what seemed like a long time, I hesitated. But I could see that she was only going to allow me one option. I moved the colourful box clear of the now-discarded brown cardboard shipping outer, and studied it to see where it opened.

'Just flick out that tab at the end there,' Gloria said, helpfully, while carefully watching my every move.

I did as she suggested. Inside, there was a heavy-duty plastic bag.

'You probably need some scissors,' Gloria said. 'The plastic bag is usually heat-sealed.'

I took a pair of scissors from one of the kitchen drawers and carefully snipped the end off the plastic bag. And there we were. We had reached the Happy Jax Pocket Pussy. It was bigger than I had expected it to be. But then I suppose that it needed to be. You know. All things considered.

'Just unscrew the cap on the end,' Gloria said. 'That's just there to protect the, umm... you know. And act as a bit of a disguise. I think it's supposed to trick the casual observer into thinking that it's a torch.'

I unscrewed the cap and, yes, there it was: the business end of the Happy Jax Pocket Pussy. I had to admit that it did look sort of realistic. Even the way that the inner labia -- the piss flaps -- were a deeper shade of pink. Yes, very nice. Very... sexy.

'So... what do you think?' Gloria asked. 'Is it what you were expecting?'

'Not sure what I was expecting,' I said. 'This is all a bit new to me.'

'But you're not disappointed?'

'Umm... no. Not disappointed,' I told her.

'Are you going to give it a test drive?'

'A test drive? I suppose so,' I said. Nervously. 'At some stage. Yes.'

'At some stage? Not now?' And she laughed. 'And if not now, then why not now? I might be able to give you a bit of coaching. A few tips.'

'Thank you. But I, umm... I don't think that I could do it with someone watching. I can hardly even believe that I'm talking to you about it.'

'Nonsense! It'll be fun,' Gloria said. 'Tell you what... you can watch me while you watch you.' And she reached into her toybox. 'I think I'll use my Robo Rabbit.' And from down in the depths she produced a cock-shaped dildo with various bits attached to one end of it. 'What do you think? Robo Rabbit? Maybe if you have a couple of small towels? We don't want to get the lube -- or any other juices -- on the upholstery, do we?' And she laughed again.

I hesitated. But then I went off to find a couple of towels. At least it would give me time to think. And maybe Gloria would change her mind. I mean... we hardly knew each other. We had sort of only just met. And here she was suggesting that we... well... that we do what she was suggesting we do.

When I returned with the towels, Gloria had already removed her trousers. I'll say this for her: she certainly wasn't shy. I tried not to stare, but it had been a long time since I had seen a real live naked cunt. And Gloria's naked cunt did look very nice. Very nice indeed.

'Right,' Gloria said. 'One of us on the couch, and one of us on this chair. Which do you want?'

'I don't think that I can do it,' I told her. 'Not while you're watching.'

'Of course you can. Having someone watch is half the fun. Now... get your trousers off. And get Happy Jax. You can have the chair. This is going to be fun.'

Despite the fact that I was still far from sure, I had to admit that my cock was already growing. I got my new pocket pussy and put it on the table. And then, still a little bit reluctantly, I undid my belt and lowered my trousers. And then I lowered my boxers. As soon as I had them down past my balls, my cock sprung out.

'Nice,' Gloria said.

'It's, umm, a bit small,' I said.

'Small? Oh, I don't think so. Not at all. It looks just about perfect to me. I know some women think the bigger the better, but, believe me, most women just want normal. You're lucky. What you have is normal.' And she handed me the lube. 'Now... put a good squirt of lube into Happy Jax and give it a bit of a rub around with your finger.'

I did as I was instructed.

'OK?' Gloria said.

'I think so.'

'Now just put a little bit of lube onto the head of your cock.'

Again, I did as I was instructed.

'And now my turn,' Gloria said. 'A bit of lube around the front door. Now a bit on Robo's nose. And, finally, a bit on his bunny's ears.'

'Bunny's ears?'

'Yes. These two little chaps. Once we get going, they take care of my clit. So... are we ready?'

'As I'll ever be,' I told her.

'Just rest the tip of your cock at the entrance to Happy Jax,' Gloria said. 'And now close your eyes, and slowly push your cock into the slippery tunnel. Just imagine that you are slipping it into whoever it is that you would most like to be fucking at this moment.'

Hmm. I hadn't really thought about that bit. Who would I most like to be fucking? Who would I most like to be sliding my cock into? There had been a woman named Angela who used to come into the bookshop when I had worked there. I had always wondered what it would be like to fuck her. But then, one day, she had come in with her boyfriend who was the star second-row forward for one of the local rugby teams. After that, I had sort of crossed her off my list.

I had also sometimes wondered about Marcella. She was a slightly mumsy sort of woman who worked in the local coffee shop. I'm not sure that she would have been everyone's cup of tea (no pun intended). But I certainly thought that there was something about her. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that she was Italian. I could picture her as the sexy older woman in a Tinto Brass movie. I imagined that she had a dark bush. And I imagined myself pushing my hard cock through her bush in order to get to her warm wet tunnel. My new Happy Jax Pocket Pussy didn't have any bush, but it still felt very good.

'How's that?' Gloria asked.

'Excellent,' I said.

'Yes. Most of the user reviews gave it five stars as I remember,' she said.

When I opened my eyes again, Gloria was spreading her hairy outer cunt lips -- the kind of hairy outer cunt lips that I imagined Marcella had -- and feeding Robo Rabbit into her slippery hole. I felt my cock, already deep into the Happy Jax Pocket Pussy, twitch involuntarily. Oh, yes. Oh, fuck, yes. Gloria was right about watching being half of the fun. Well, perhaps not half. But it was certainly part of the fun. As I watched Gloria and her Robo Rabbit, I imagined that her Robo Rabbit was actually my cock.

I guess that it was probably something to do with the fact that it was the first time -- my first time with the Happy Jax Pocket Pussy, my first time watching Gloria, even my first time just seeing Gloria's wonderful cunt -- but, for whatever reason, I didn't last for very long. One moment I was thinking how good it all felt, and the next moment I realised that I had reached the point beyond which there would be no going back. I increased my stroke rate and then... and then... and then I simply let go. Wow! Forget about 10cc. I think I came a bucketful.

When I opened my eyes, Gloria was looking at me. And she was smiling. 'Good?' she said. But I couldn't speak. I just nodded.

'And now... sauce for the gander,' Gloria said. And she pressed one of the buttons on the little box part of the Robo Rabbit, causing the cock part to rumble and squirm. Gloria spread her legs still further, closed her eyes, and began thrusting her hips. And then, after a minute or so, she screwed up her face and began to pant and shudder. 'Oh, fuck yes!' she said. 'Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!' And then, after a few moments, she went all limp.

For a few minutes, we both just sat there, facing each other, me with my now softening cock still in the slippery tunnel of my new Happy Jax Pocket Pussy.

'OK?' Gloria said.

'Oh, better than OK,' I told her. And then I said: 'But I'm afraid I didn't last very long.'

'That's OK,' she said. 'There will be other times. You and me.' And she smiled again.

'You and me?'

'I hope so,' she said. 'But first... cheese muffins and that cup of coffee that you promised me.'