The Humper Game Pt. 05 Ch. 09

I was even more astonished. "I know him about as well as a student can know the teacher of one large class of more than four hundred. He's the head instructor in PhysEd, and he was the gym instructor for our class. Gym was the only class comprising the entire class for our year. I don't know whether he was also teaching PE to any other years as well, or tutoring in any other area, or what. I do happen to know, almost for certain, one other important position, or role, he holds, and it's an important one, but one I shouldn't discuss with you. But I had significant contact with him in that, on a one- or two-to-one basis."

It was Pastor Mac's turn to look astonished. "Physical Education? That seems like an awful waste!"

"I only know what I see—saw, I should say. But I think Mr. Miles wouldn't agree with you, on several levels. For one thing, the decline in physical fitness in the States is something they see as a big problem, tying in to many other problems. Moral problems like sloth and love of luxury, for example—both cause and effect. Beyond that, though, PE was used to teach many other things, including the importance of doing one's part, not insisting on special treatment, abiding by the rules everyone else must follow. We got to see very clearly how seriously Mr. Miles takes that, more than once. Teamwork, loyalty, self-sacrifice—that kind of thing, as well as individual excellence.

"And I personally was in a position to observe, on several occasions, how the mind of a Grand Master handles other kinds of problems. Problems are to be solved, and generally every action taken is designed to contribute to the solution of several problems, or at least to move toward several goals. In many ways, his example shaped me a lot, last year in particular. A truly amazing and inspiring man.

"I must admit that his problem-solving is sometimes rather horrifyingly ruthless. But sometimes it takes that, I think. I just hope I'm never in the way of a problem he thinks he needs to solve. I think he's equally ruthless toward himself, though."

"It's plain that we are talking about the same man, at any rate. If you should come into contact with him somehow, please give him my regards."

We talked for a few minutes, and then Ellen and I excused ourselves. We agreed to meet at the same time the next two Tuesdays, and in general Tuesdays after Christmas break was over. Both Ellen's schedule and mine were open at that same time period the next term. Pastor Mac was to come up with an outline of topics for discussion. But Ellen and I both said that events from school, particularly our senior year, would need to come out in a somewhat orderly fashion.

On our way out, we stopped in the secretary's office to see what was available as far as Saturdays in June went. There was a fee for use of the facility, but it seemed to me pretty much a token. I looked at Ellen and agreed. It appeared that June 17 was available, and the woman penciled us in on her wall calendar. She also entered it into the computer. She said, "It needs to be in pencil in case you need to change it, or we do. In theory, I'm the only one who makes changes on that calendar, but it's also in the computer where only Pastor and I, and one or two others, are able to change anything. That way you really do have priority over anything except official events of some kind.

"We don't expect any changes on our part, but it's possible. You, on the other hand, may request changes for any reasons you may have, until March 17. After that, please consider yourselves as committed. If a real emergency arises, please let me know as soon as you possibly can." She was a friendly, cheerful woman, Mrs. White, and as we left I was feeling a little bit less daunted by what we had just agreed to.

We had run quite a bit over, and we needed to hurry to make our four o'clock classes. We parted outside the building where Ellen's class was. We hugged, and kissed briefly. I said, "Ellen, thank you for trusting me. I don't know how we'll do it either, but without your support it would be hopeless. I love you, and that's a big reason."

This was the class I had with Kelly, and as I slid into my seat at the last moment, she murmured, "Phil, how did it go?"

"Not all that badly. Talk later, OK?"

The class went fine, nothing special, but still way different from the way it had been in the beginning. The professor still spent some time summarizing the assigned reading, but maybe as much as half the class was given to discussion questions on the material just summarized or questions raised by students, and it was really plain that many students had put time into research and thinking ahead of class. The discussion was very lively at times. That day I was a little preoccupied, but I found I had things to say in spite of that.

When five-thirty rolled around, Kelly came with me to where I waited to meet Ellen. I told her the date for the wedding, emphasizing that it was still tentative. Once Ellen came up, we hurried off toward home, and I said, "Kelly, remember what we talked about this morning? Pastor Mac did ask us to refrain from sex until we're married. As we're not Christians, he said this wasn't an absolute requirement, but he touched on why he thought it was very important. And it seemed good to me to agree, and Ellen is willing to follow my lead. And experience shows it's likely to be much harder on her than on me.

"Anyway, you offered to pray, and I hope you will. This is far from the most important aspect of it all, but it may well be the hardest. And also, we're going to meet at the same time every week—until he's satisfied, or maybe until we all are—and we're going to need to explain right off a lot about school and last year. Please, really, pray that we'll be able to say enough without overdoing it. You know me, right?"

Kelly, intelligent woman that she was, asked about Christmas break, and I told her we were skipping two weeks.

Ellen put in, "I don't know how I can stand to do it. The months before we came here, when I was frightened of what that vision said, that was really hard. Phil, um, had Sam and Jenny and some others, and it was still hard on him. And I wanted him so much, and I knew I didn't dare get started until I was sure it really was OK, but if Phil hadn't been willing and able to let me take that time, I would never have made it. I don't know that prayer will help, but it can't hurt, and it may help me to know you're praying."

Kelly said, "Six months and a bit sounds like a lot, but in some ways it's going to fly by. You're going to have to put in extra time planning and contacting people and arranging for all kinds of things. I know you want to keep it simple, and that will help, but there's still a lot to do. Let me know what I can help with. It will all be harder on you if you get frazzled."

When Kelly walked with us after class, we sometimes stood a while and talked where she turned off. Today, Ellen said, "We've got to hurry. Elise is supposed to come by for Phil in an hour or a little less. Tuesday dinners are going to be leftovers from now on, I think."

"Maybe only for two more weeks," I said.

When we got home, I did what Ellen had said the night before. I studied for the little while it took her to heat some leftovers and set the table sketchily, and we hurried through eating. She made me let her clean up, too. She was still at that when Elise knocked.

We walked off to the gym, the same building where we ran but a different room. We were a little early, but several people were already there, warming up or doing some kind of drills or sparring. Elise introduced me to people. I explained that I had reason to think I might need to be able to defend myself against some kind of attack, sometime in the future, and that my girlfriend had asked Elise to bring me here in hopes of learning something. I said I was completely ignorant—which was the exact truth. I knew the names of some systems, but nothing at all about them. I did describe, for a couple of people, what I had seen when Wagner went for Mr. Miles with a knife—not mentioning names, of course. I said that at a minimum I thought I might need to be able to do something like that.

A couple of guys took me aside and asked me questions about myself, then put me through some moves. One of them, Joe, said, "Well, you're reasonably good in terms of basic fitness. The running you do every day is a good start, though it sounds like you need to work to pick the pace up a little. And it's good that you've done some weights in the past, but really, you're going to need to be stronger, so get back to doing that. But remember you're going for overall strength, not puffed-up bodybuilder muscles."

After a little more of trying various things, they—and a couple more who had come and started watching—looked at each other. Joe said, "You don't have any interest in doing anything competitively. My own recommendation would be to start with taekwondo or maybe karate. I'd favor taekwondo, but it may be that I'm a little prejudiced because I do that. And there are a lot of people here who can help get you started in that—or karate, for that matter."

The others all made sounds of agreement, and some of them drifted away. My original two—Joe and John—started working with me to teach me some basic movements, four of them to start with. That took pretty much the whole time available. It was obvious, as I looked around, that there wasn't a lot of structure to these club sessions. People talked, sparred—whatever the right word was—with others, demonstrated techniques, all at the same time. Some even spent time running, on the wood floor instead of in on the track, which surprised me, and some of them barefoot. Joe and Jim suggested that I wear looser clothing and also get some type of martial arts shoes, and they suggested a shop in town. It seemed that there was a fairly standard type of clothing for taekwondo. They said that it really didn't matter much, but that I would soon need at least some formal lessons, and that I might as well have suitable clothing already.

For the moment, though, they drilled me on the four movements and their names, telling me to practice them at home or when I could, but to spend time on it every day. They said they usually came every week, and that they would help me get started, either personally or by finding someone else, each week. I was very grateful to them.

I'm not going to say a lot more about these sessions, not even about my own private practice sessions. They continued to take time and energy. I bought clothes, and also a couple of books. Eventually, a couple of months later, I added lessons at a local school—a taekwondo academy—but I kept coming to sessions at the club. The guys—and a couple of women—who helped me, and my master at the academy, were all very helpful, keeping in mind my own specific objectives, focusing on moves that would help me defend against an attacker who came at me with hands or a knife. And as she saw me progress, Ellen seemed to relax just a little.

That night, Ellen and I agreed to try to continue sharing the bed, at least for the time being. We did some hugging and cuddling and snuggling, not just at bedtime. We kissed, but kept it brief. I told Ellen in no uncertain terms that as we went along, whenever she found it hard, she was to keep me aware of her feelings. We wanted to make sure that we still expressed the love we felt, without stirring up sexual desire more than we could help. Our first night, at least, went better than I had feared.

Wednesday morning, the alarm went off at the usual time. We hadn't thought to discuss that. I went off to the bathroom, then came back to let Ellen have her chance. I suddenly realized that shaving was going to be an issue. I got dressed fast and called through the bathroom door, "Ellen, you shave first," then sat down to wait.

In a reasonable amount of time, she emerged, in her nightgown, and I went in to shave. I didn't bother closing the door. She came out of the bedroom, dressed, and came into the bathroom and waited for me there. "Phil, I didn't think about that. There are a lot of times I'm going to have to be careful to be modest, I guess. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. We're both going to have to think about things." I stopped talking, because I can't shave and talk without real danger of cutting myself. When I was done, we went off to run. We were on time leaving, really, because our usual alarm setting was intended to allow for a quickie, and shaving separately didn't add more time than that. I hadn't trimmed my pubic hair, though, and as we went I said so to Ellen and reminded her that sometimes I would need to do that.

"Why don't you plan on doing that on Sundays? Unless once a week leaves you so shaggy you don't like it." That sounded like a good plan to me, too.

When we got there and started running, I told Kelly that things were going fine, this early, but that we were already finding things we would have to do differently, a lot of which would take a little more time than we were used to. I mentioned showering, since she knew we showered together after running. "That one probably won't be as much longer as a lot of things, though. Washing each other tends to take a little more time than washing ourselves would, and you know what else usually happens in the shower." She said, "I sure do. However much you tried to keep the noise down. But I'm sure you'll miss the, the other casual intimacy in that too, and in a lot of other things." I could only agree.

We talked about other things, too. At one point she said, "What are you thinking of doing for a honeymoon?"

"Haven't gotten that far, and we really need to talk about it soon—at least enough to make sure we're on the same page. But I think we are, pretty much. Neither of us wants anything fancy and expensive. Remember what Aunt Sally said about theirs? Time to be together, with no responsibilities, not even cooking or much in the way of housekeeping? I think Ellen will feel the same, but I've got to ask her. I could get into really big trouble, taking something like that for granted. Taking her for granted."

I told her about the martial arts club meeting I'd gone to the night before. I said, "The problem is, I can't just go to the meetings. Not that 'meeting' is quite what I'd call it. 'Session', maybe. I'm going to have to build the habit of practicing those moves into every day, and also find a way to do weights most days. I'm afraid that part means getting up and getting here earlier, fifteen minutes or half an hour. Hard on Ellen, except that the last time it came up she said she would lift with me, to keep me company.

"You know, at school we had constant reinforcement for keeping up with studying. Our instructors all had black belts in cutting comments, and they used them when someone wasn't prepared. They saw our individual preparedness—or lack of it—every single class period. But that whole game in gym was the result of our not having that kind of ongoing reinforcement—for physical fitness, I mean. They, the instructors I mean, identified the problem as motivation, and I think that's right. But they were thinking of our not being graded in gym, or not caring about gym grades if they'd used them. Now that I think about it, they were wrong in that. In every other class we had, someone observed our progress every day, and at least we were spoken to sharply if we slacked of on any specific day. In gym, they measured us once or twice a year, and we were really measured against everyone else at that. I need to figure out how to pass this along to them.

"So I've got to motivate myself, at something I never really had to think that much about before. And Kelly, I'm sorry. One thing they said to me last night was that the running you and I are doing is good, but that they thought I'm being too content with my present fitness level, and they urged me to keep pushing a little faster. Would you mind it if we try to do that, starting tomorrow?"

"I'd say, 'Let's start now,' except it's about time to quit. Tomorrow, for sure. It will be good for me, too. If you get too much ahead of me, I'll sure miss running with you."

And indeed, ahead, Ellen and Elise slowed gradually to a walk. We quickly caught up to them and walked, too. Kelly said, "And if you and Ellen do get established on doing weights before running, I may come and lift, too. The weight room isn't that busy, early, and I don't see why. But that's something we can all do together, and still do at our own levels. I'll never be as strong as you probably are, both of you, and I don't need to be. But I can be stronger than I am now." I thought Ellen and Elise both understood the background of this, with no trouble.

We said goodbye to Elise, and walked toward home talking with Kelly. Ellen said, "I don't want to get up and get out half an hour earlier, but if I have to I can. Kelly, I'm going to insist on coming to lift with him. If you come to keep us company, you're welcome. We may not make it every morning. And Phil, you said you have these moves to practice. We're going to have to carve out time for that. Is that something you can do in our apartment?"

"For the moment, I think so. If the surface isn't good enough, or if the thumps bother the neighbors, I may have to go elsewhere. And I will need to do some clothes shopping, soon. Saturday, maybe."

Kelly said, "I asked Phil about your honeymoon plans, and he told me you hadn't really talked but that he was sure you would aim for inexpensive and not fancy. I hope I'm not out of line mentioning that. But I had another thought. If you're thinking the same about receptions, you might consider the church's fellowship hall. I know there's a fee for non-members to use it, but I wonder whether it wouldn't be less than something commercial. I'm pretty sure you could arrange for caterers to come in, but I went to one wedding and reception there, not too long ago, and the church ladies provided the food. I don't know anything at all about arrangements or cost, but it might work for you. If it did, and if it's what you want, you probably would want to reserve it pretty soon."

We both looked at her. Ellen said, "Kelly, thank you! The date is just a little tentative now, but we should ask and look at what's there as soon as we can. I don't know when I would have started thinking about that, but it might have been way too late. I know some people have places reserved a year and more in advance." She said to me, "Do you think it's OK to wait until Tuesday to check it out? And until we're formally engaged to actually do anything?"

"I think I'll call Mrs. White today, if I can find the time. And we want to make a reservation before break, for sure, if we can. We need to run the date by a few people first, but I think we want to get that kind of thing set as soon as possible. If it's like reserving the church for the wedding, we probably would have a later deadline for changing, but we won't risk having someone else reserve it for that date if we get in first. Of course, it may already be taken."

We left Kelly, or she left us, where she turned off our route. I told Ellen, "She asked how things were going, and I maybe said a little more than you would have liked. Or maybe not. Anyway, I mentioned showering. I'm assuming we've got to do that separately. I hope that's OK with you. That's partly that I think it would be too hard on us both, and partly that I think it would kind of violate the spirit of what we agreed to. And I sure hope that's OK with you, too."

She stopped and grabbed my arm and pulled me into a hug. Well, a brief one, even though we were cooled down enough that we could have managed a longer one if we had wanted to. "Phil, of course that's all right. And since I was the one who told Kelly she could go ahead and watch us—against your better judgment—how could I possibly object to your telling her? It's just like yesterday. Even when you ask me to do something hard or painful, you show me again why I love you. Thank you."