The Interloper Bk. 01

I uncurled from my ball, feeling as steady as I could on a rocking boat. "Where am I going to stay?" I asked, looking at Duke.

He answered smoothly, "Here, if you like. In this room."

"Okay." I cast another quick glance around. "I like it. I could do it. Uh, thank you."

He smiled. Again, I think he was going for reassurance but the big ass, werewolf-ish fangs ruined it. "My pleasure."

I turned to Milan and Rowan. "What am I going to do? I can't just sit on my butt all day, and my major doesn't offer any online classes." Women's Studies was an interpersonal thing.

"Whatever you would like within reason," Milan responded.

"Mm-hmm."

A year. One very long year in a world that had no humans. I could do that. I blew out a sigh and ran a hand through my hair. Maybe not, but I'm gonna have to.

CHAPTER FOUR

"If you're not going to eat that, give it here," Fever, Cherry's girlfriend and my pseudo-guard, demanded with her usual gruffness.

I stared down at my plate. Yesterday had been a mysterious meat kebab, the day before that, a cheese tart thing, and so on and so forth for a week. While all the dishes Tessa brought out of her kitchen tasted divine, I felt something in me crack.

An egg the size of my fist was horizontal on the sky blue and red wooden bowl, surrounded by a thick orange syrup that smelled like Jack Daniel's. It was nine in the morning. I was in strange clothes, eating strange food, hearing strange people speak my language in a strange city named Apricot. Everyone was nice, accommodating, yet I couldn't help feeling adrift. I was alone in a foreign world. No amount of calling home or watching syndicated reruns was going to change that. I poked at the jiggling egg. Hmm, maybe not egg.

I poked it again and again and again. Somewhere along the line I started to stab it, digging in with my serrated spoon, before abandoning the utensil and attacking the egg with my hands.

"It's not fair!" I screamed, nails scraping against the wood, scoring deeper grooves into the wide bowl.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. I had a plan! School, money, marriage, children, and finally death. Vacations and heartbreak were thrown in for good measure, but how the hell was I going to accomplish those things now?

A year of my life was gone. When I went back I wouldn't be able to tell anyone, hell, knowing my government I'd go to some black site and be experimented on, brainwashed, or killed. This year was all I had left of my life and it wasn't remotely what I wanted.

It wasn't fair.

I chucked the bowl at the wall, satisfied when it split and clattered to the floor. Fever and Cherry flinched, grabbing for their dishes as I waved my arm and cleared the table. Glass shattered, and wood scraped against stone.

"I'm not supposed to be here!" I wailed, pounding my fists against the table again and again. "THIS ISN'T FAIR!"

Cherry slithered behind me, wrapping his arm-like appendages around me. I kicked, screaming out as tears rushed down my face. I can't breathe! Shit, I can't breathe.

Fever came in front of me, avoiding my legs to clamp her hands over my cheeks. Her fiery skin almost burned. Fire demons were, unsurprisingly, freakin' hot!

"Tilly," she yelled over my tantrum, "pull it together. You keep going ape shit and I'll splatter you across this room."

My screaming hiccuped to a stop. I did not want to get splattered on anything. I liked myself right where I was.

"Good," Fever soothed. "Now breathe, girl. Come on. In and out. In and out."

"I'm... not in labor," I snapped as I followed her directions.

She cracked a smile, showing a hint of fang. "Push, Tilly. Push."

I growled, reigning myself back in with every deep breath. "Meany," I mumbled.

"Guilty as charged." She pulled back, gave me a once over and nodded to Cherry. "Let her go, baby. She's good."

I felt his arms slide from around me, leaving a sticky trail in their wake. Cherry moved around me to his girlfriend and slapped her playfully on the butt. "Pay up, Fi."

Fever reached in her pocket and pulled out a scrap of something, passing it to him. Cherry's black eyes heated, before he tucked the piece into one of the pouches on his body.

Two weeks, I thought, closing my eyes. Not too bad. I pegged the freak out much earlier, right after Duke and everyone left my room. But there had been no time to digest my situation, there was always too much going on. Clothes fittings, magic, history, geography, and cultural lessons. Doctors appointments and medical check ups. Phone calls with government officials who I'd only ever read about in newspapers. A crash course on my assumptions of reality with what it actually was. This morning was the first time in days I wasn't being inundated with information, poked and prodded, or subtly threatened in one way or another. My subconscious finally processed the fact that I was here for a year, with no way out, and no opportunity of normalcy when I returned to Earth.

I could barely even think past a day in this place. Maybe it would pass quickly, uneventfully. I mentally snorted. Flying pig chance in hell of that.

I cleared my throat as Tessa and her group of kitchen helpers stumbled into the room and gasped. "I—had an accident," I explained quietly.

The green dragoness gave me a look, tail swiping against the floor in agitation. When I'd officially met Tessa (watching her walk away after Duke had given her an order wasn't much on an introduction) she swiped her tail the exact same way, muttering about another "mouth to feed." I'd thought she hated me, but that was just Tessa.

She directed the three behind her to clean up the mess, stopping to sigh every so often as she did it. Her tongue clicked as she spoke, "Looks like you lost your mind."

I bit my lip as I bent down and helped. A few minutes later, the room was cleaned and Tessa informed me I would not be getting lunch. "Punishment," she'd said.

I placed my elbows on the table and bridged my fingers. "I, uh..."

Fever waved it off. "Happened to me on Earth. I forgot which hoax the portal closed, and thought it already had. I was a crying mess, calling Cherry and babbling about missing it." She laughed, "It's always bad, worse, then 'I can get through this'."

I smiled gratefully. Fever and Cherry weren't really my guards, more like forced protective friends. They kept me out of trouble and showed me the lay of the land. Fever was great because she'd been to Earth and Cherry was just a big teddy bear most of the time.

I sighed, unknotting my hands and sliding them through my hair. "I really can't sit here and do nothing for a year. I can barely do it for a day. Every time I think about it I just—" I shivered, shaking off the feeling of slowly falling into an abyss.

I stared at Fever, jealous of her super cool crimson hair. I'd tried that color once. It came out as burgundy, faded in a week, and left me with horrible bleached hair. Hers was natural, and went perfectly with her whisky brown skin and glowing gold eyes.

I moaned, "You have to give me something to do."

Fever cast a sidelong glance at Cherry and shrugged. "I thought you were trying to take classes online or something?"

"The site's not as stable here."

"Okay. What do you want to do?"

"Anything."

She cast a look around the room and raised a brow. "Dangerous?"

"Depends."

"It's not life threatening, if that's what you're wondering," she demurred. "But you can stay calm under pressure. For the most part. You don't freak easily. You have an incredible memory and eye for detail. You're smart, quick, and can obviously handle yourself."

I blushed at the compliments.

The demoness leaned back in her chair, golden eyes staring off into space. She blew out a ring of smoke without the help of a cigarette. Like everything I saw, the first time was amazing, every time after was "the usual."

She leaned over and whispered something to Cherry. He barked out a high pitched laugh, "If you can get her to do it, I'll be amazed."

Fever's eyes practically glowed. "And I'll be wanting my panties back."

So that's what the scrap of lace was. Gross. "T.M.I. you two."

They whipped their heads to me. "What?"

I wanted to slap my forehead. Stupid colloquialisms. "Too Much Information."

Fever pushed back her chair, wood scraping on the jagged stone. The dining room was a fifteenth century lord's dream, except for the electric chandelier. It was its own Lego piece, separate corridors shimmering from every doorway.

She strode over to me, leather soles squeaking on the floor. The woman loved leather, the tighter the better, and anything low cut was just a plus. I had yet to see anything that didn't show off her cleavage, navel, and arms.

"A Traveling Envoy of the Regional Magistrate," Fever announced as she hopped up on the corner of the table near me and crossed her legs. "We're a bit thin because of the disappearances."

"Disappearances?" I asked.

She waved the word away. "Don't worry about it. So the Traveling Envoy of the Regional Magistrate puts in facetime with the different tribes that live in this region," she said. "You spend your time traveling and spending time with the different tribes, listening to their concerns, sharing news from the Magistrate, Duke, with them, taking news back. The technology we have still doesn't work well with every tribe, so having dedicated envoys is the best thing.

"So basically like Duke's ambassadors."

I'd learned a little while ago that Duke was sort of the President of this region of Yenos, known as Ray. As it had been explained to me, way before the Magistrate system had been enacted, tribes had run a free for all, not working together, starting wars, killing each other. That had led to a decline in population, more birth defects and health problems as species had stopped intermingling, and issues with hate crimes and specism had risen. So the Magistrate system was created, with the position being elected and termed one of ten years. This was Duke's eighth year as Regional Magistrate of Ray.

"Not exactly. Envoys can't make any decisions. They record what happens as impartially as possible, but our ambassadors go to other regions of Yenos, not tribes within our own region."

"So let me get this straight. I travel to a specific tribe. Stay there and make nice. Record the happenings and give them news from the Magistrate, then return here. That's what you're saying?"

"Yes. That's basically the job," Fever nodded excitedly.

"Sounds like I'd be a mailman."

She laughed. "A few steps above. We note things like who got married, died, murdered, went missing, had a baby. All the inner workings of a tribe that could lead to shifts in power or allegiances and things like that. We keep the peace by keeping everyone informed. Most issues arise from miscommunication and that's what the Magistrate and tribes want to avoid, and that's what Traveling Envoys of the Regional Magistrate do: keep everyone informed."

"Okay," I said slowly. "That doesn't exactly sound like fun. It sounds more like a person working for the Census." I couldn't see myself going door to door asking otherworldly creatures their marital status and how many kids they had.

She waved her hand in a gesture she'd picked up from me. "Traveling Envoys of the Regional Magistrate build and keep alliances. We get the facts straight so everyone doesn't go around killing each other. Before, male centaurs used to kidnap females they thought were virgin. With the help and guidance of envoys we were able to create a database of virgins who would like to be part of Centurian tribes, thereby removing the whole kidnapping thing."

"You created a matchmaking site," I deadpanned.

"It's one of the many things we've been able to do because we can go between tribes with the protection of the Magistrate, few can do that so openly. You get to meet all kinds of people, learn about everything, and challenge yourself. Isn't that what you want to do?"

It did sound incredible, if a bit boring. Ray wasn't a big country, but it was one made up of very different creatures all trying to coexist. If I could help them, learn from them, maybe I could become a better person.

That'd be nice.

"I'll do it. On a trial basis," I warned, wagging a finger. "When do we start?"

"Start?" Fever laughed and hopped off the table. "Why don't we ask the Magistrate if you can even do it."

I nodded and slid out of my chair. "Sounds like a plan."

***

"No."

I crossed my arms. "No?"

Duke looked up from the book he was reading and said slowly, "Yes, Tilly. No." He went back to reading.

I bit my lip and held back my retort. Duke only cared about three things: his work, his family, and Ray. I figured that out the day after I arrived and all my human novelty wore off. If I was dying or in deadly trouble, I could talk to him, otherwise that was what Cherry and Fever were there for.

"Why?" I asked, shifting on the hard seat. His office was chrome and black, ultra-modern. Similar to the dining room, it was its own Lego piece.

He closed the book in front of him with a thump. "What did Milan say you could do the ale hoax you arrived?" First day.

I thought back. "Anything I want as long as it's within reason."

He nodded sharply. "Becoming an envoy isn't within that scope of reason. You'd be entrusted with highly sensitive information. You aren't even from this planet. No one will trust you, and they'll trust me even less for hiring you."

"Besides that, what you write down could mean the start of a war or feud. It could mean life or death for some." He paused and leaned forward on the chrome desk. "This position is not to be taken lightly and it's not something you do to pass the time."

I opened my mouth to retort, but closed it. He was right; this wasn't just a position to pass time. It was meaningful, important, and crucial to the continuation of peace and harmony in the region. It mattered, and that was the exact reason I had to do it.

On Yenos I was less than a nobody and almost entirely a hindrance. But that wasn't who I was. I had knowledge and experience and determination to do something meaningful and worthwhile with every second of my time.

"Look, Duke, I'm not doing this just because I'm bored. Fever explained it all to me and I understand the complexities of the position. But, I'm sure you understand, that along with the tribes you have to be very certain about the envoys you send, right? I'm human; I have no stake in this country, which means the information I provide will come without biases. I've proven that I can handle this world and the creatures in it, that I'm cool under tense and difficult situations, that I can think of my feet and act rationally under immense pressure. I have to be here for a year so why not use me?"

"Tessa could use help in the kitchen."

"I've burnt mac and cheese," I said flatly.

"My assistant needs some help."

My eyebrows shot up. "So, you'll trust me to help your assistant—the one who handles all your business, personal and otherwise—but not as an envoy."

He flashed fangs. "Point taken." Duke sighed and pushed back, lolling in his rolling chair. "Why an envoy, Matilda?"

"Tilly, please," I interjected. "It fits my skill set. Plus it's not like I could write it on my resume—the assistant job, I would try though."

"I have no doubt you would," he muttered.

"What I'm trying to get at," I said loudly, ignoring his jab, "Is that me being an envoy would only help you. You see how your citizens react to me; I'm not a threat to them. If anything I'm like a rambunctious puppy they want to help."

"They don't see you as that."

I snorted. "They most certainly do, and that's okay. It's an advantage in this case. People are more open when they don't view you as a threat." At his nod, I continued, "You can send me anywhere and know I'm capable of being objective and speaking to them without worry of causing some incident or issue because I can simply fallback on the guileless puppy act while you train me to be the envoy you want."

"Unless you're a speciest," he shot, righting in his chair. "If you don't like a certain species or persons that can affect what you write."

I pointed a thumb over my shoulder at Fever and Cherry who stood leaning against the wall. "Check out thing one and two. A serpent and a demon," I stressed the words. "You would know by now if I was a speciest nut."

A tick thrummed in his jaw and his eyes flashed. He wanted to find a way to debate me, say I shouldn't be one of his envoys. There were many reasons, all of which I would combat with the same quick, assuredness I had with everything he said. Now it was just a battle of wills.

I decided to throw the gauntlet and suggest a final reason. "I would be one less thing to worry about. Assign me a partner. Make me their responsibility. 'Cause if you don't, I might just decide I'm going through a crisis every morning, every afternoon, every night—"

"I get it," Duke snapped. He mulled over it, fingers tapping his chin as he stared off in contemplation.

"You will undergo training and tests and only when I say you are ready will you be assigned a partner. And only when your partner decides you are ready will you step out into the field, not as an envoy, but as an assistant. And if you fuck up at any point, you will be scrubbing every hallway in my compound with a toothbrush until they shine. Understood?"

"I'll use my own toothbrush," I tossed out, watching his eyes narrow. "So, Magistrate, when do we get started?"

CHAPTER FIVE

"This isn't what I had in mind, Fever," I wheezed as I bent over and clutched my stomach. The last round of punches hurt, and the magical tea Fever kept giving me to heal my broken bones and fractured ribs had lost its appeal fifty cups ago.

She bounced on the balls of her feet, fists up, movements erratic. "You wanted to do this, Tilly. Plus, you're doing well for a human, just need to work on your speed and ability to function under pressure."

Laying on my stomach and groaning while she pummeled me was apparently not "functioning under pressure." I staggered, shook the hazy pain out of my eyes, and righted myself. I'd survived weeks of training, getting my ass kicked and doing very little ass kicking of my own, there was no way I was going to wuss out now.

I spat blood and chips of my teeth, too used to it to be grossed out. "Bring it, demon."

"My pleasure, human."

As Fever delivered a fresh round of blows, I maneuvered and rolled, dodging a few and catching others in places that wouldn't kill me. The training area was a wide square, situated outside in the western gardens on the patterned brickwork. Most of the minotaurs and satyrs roamed here on their breaks, and further in the distance was the river that fed into the giant waterfall outside my bedroom.

Fever feigned a right punch, but I anticipated it. I slapped my hand on her shoulder, tossing myself up and over her body in a fancy gymnastic move. The demon whistled low as she spun around. "Lookin' good, Tilly. Glad to see you were paying attention."

I spared her a chipped tooth smile as she resumed her assault. "What is the role of an envoy?" she fired off.

"To report news between tribes and the regional magistrate," I responded almost automatically. At this point I knew all of the rules verbatim, had passed all the written tests, was well versed in about twenty different standard, yet intricate, customs of several tribes within the religion, and had increased my sprint time by nearly twenty seconds. Most of it was muscle memory and reflex.