The Journal of a Connecticut Yankee Ch. 12

"In almost all instances, Mamono will be the aggressor. They will attack first and usually viscously."

He threw a punch that I remembered to sidestep, grab and throw. I was particularly proud of myself as he hit the floor.

"Good," he nodded as he stood up and we continued to circle each other, "this stems from base instincts of their old forms. Before the Maou enacted the great change, the majority of them were hunters, beasts and savage animals. Although they have greatly changed in both physical nature and mentality, they still rely off their animalistic instincts when they fight and mate. This gives you an advantage."

He kicked at my head which I barely blocked. His toes nicked the side of my temple, though.

"How the hell does them going all Pervy Predator on me give an advantage?" I asked, annoyed at the pain.

"One of the styles of combat I am teaching you is akin to your Earth's Aikido, a defense based martial art that is dependent on your foe attacking you. I have found it is quite effective against them."

Another kick, this time I caught it and swung his leg.

"So for it to work, they have to attack?"

"Yes."

"Still waiting on that explanation."

He threw 2 punches that I deflected and retaliated with a slam of the palm of my hand to his chest. He crashed to the ground with my unexpected attack.

"Haha!" I exclaimed in what would have been a glorious moment of using my own made up skills to take down a billion year old fighter, but then he spun his legs and swept my feet right from underneath.

As I stared up at the whitish glow of the overhead lights, my vision was littered with spinning stars and, amidst the pain in the back of my head, I could hear Tertius say,

"Another lesson; Do not get cocky."

Fuck.

And on and on and on we went..

"Donnie!" Quintus remonstrated me when I tried blocking one his karate chop attacks at my face. What I ended up with was my arm bruised and hurting.

"Do not block my attacks! Divert them instead!" He stated as I rubbed my arm and winced. "Use the energy of my attacks to your advantage." He instructed.

All too soon, I discovered what he meant when he had me do the same attack on him. I was to punch directly in his face, but just before I connected, he grabbed ahold of my arm near the wrist with one hand, twirled himself around and grabbed my elbow with the other.

Suddenly I'm off balance and I'm disoriented as he whips us both around in a circle. The next thing I know I'm eating padded foam with my punching arm locked painfully behind me in his grasp, along with one of his knees digging painfully into my side. I'm left annoyed, angry, and totally helpless.

"Think of what I just did Donnie," he began, "I took ahold of your fist and used your own energy against you. You wished to move forward with your fist, so I allowed it, even enhanced it. But I did so beyond where you wished it to go."

"It's a little fucking hard when you have a few billion years experience over me!" I cried back in anger.

"The point of the matter Donnie, is that once you begin to understand the nature of this fighting technique, is that it will stand you in good stead when it comes to not only physically fighting, but also when you are using magic, and the other abilities we will be teaching you."

"Blocking energy may make for a pretty display for anyone watching. Ultimately, it is wasteful practice. Particularly so, since you will be using your own scant reserves to match. Aikido is about precision; using a minimal amount of your energy to divert a much greater amount of your opponent's energy. Thus, causing your opponent to deplete their reserves much sooner than you."

So I progressed through the days, weeks, months, whatever you could call it, under his master tutelage. There were times I would have to fight blind, or even without being able to hear. Sometimes I couldn't feel various parts of my body. All were real world circumstances that I may run in to according to him.

I'm not sure when but, during my training, I noticed the belt on my waist changed colors from its original white to blue, purple, brown then red, finally black. I also felt myself changing. My movements took on purpose, just as he taught. I was more aware of my own and others energy, how it flowed and was used.

He was right about everything.

Eventually, I reached the point where I could give Tertius a decent run for his money. He and I would spar in a full combat that would last hours, even days. The room in which I had awoken to morphed with every different battle between us. We would fight on alien landscapes and worlds, not from my memory but from the shared experiences of Arawn and his not brothers. From ancient stone ruins filled with primitive lizard people, to massive cities made of transforming metal, inhabited by advanced giant robots; each was more beautiful, more terrifying and exotic than the last. It was an experience that words could not describe, and if I tried, they would only fall short.

Now, you may think my progress would be impossible even in a full year but keep in mind, it was a full year of training. No rest, no eating or drinking, just an uninterrupted year of nothing but learning and practicing to fight.

Plus there was the fact that I was highly motivated. This was my shot to level the playing field against immensely powerful beings that always had me at a disadvantage. Druella, The Maou, insert name of various rapey Mamono here, I was tired of being the underdog. Tired of being at their mercy for every little thing.

After knocking down Tertius for a third time during a particularly long bout on a volcanic world, a chime boomed followed by the disembodied voice of Quintus,

"The morning draws near, gentlemen. Your session has ended."

"Hell of a fucking time buddy," I said gratefully while pulling him up and into a hug, "thank you."

"You are welcome Donnie. It has been many centuries since I have had a student, I am glad it was you. Quartus will be present to instruct you the next night. Once you have mastered magics, I shall show you how to incorporate them in combat."

"Can't wait," I smiled, "You gotta show me how to do that blaster punch, fist of the North Star thing Arawn does."

Tertius's confused face was the last thing I saw before fading out.

•••••••••••••••••

July 8th.

"Is that Rise Against?"

"Yep."

"Is that from my phone?"

"It's my phone now." Vicky cuttingly remarked.

She was still sore at me.

In an effort to get us talking, Deanna sent Vicky and I to do some grocery shopping. It took some convincing along with a slight threat to stop paying her phone bill but eventually her and I were on our way to a store called Trader Joanna's.

Guess Joe was too busy getting raped.

I seem to be getting real good at being in cars driven by Cyclops's that were pissed off, I thought to myself as I peered out at the passing cars.

We stopped at a light and to my right was a field with horses grazing by its wooden fence. A chestnut colored stallion raised its head to stare at me, almost as if we knew each other.

Was that you Rudolf, my old friend and faithful companion? Maybe reincarnated from long ago, across the cosmos to this world? I remember last seeing you at the stables in the Royal Maki. I'd swing on by every few days to check on you. It seemed like you were happy enough. The stable girls were spoiling you rotten, and I was sure you were putting on a few extra pounds.

It was the morning before I left that I stopped by to say that I'd be back in a few days. That we'd probably be going back to Wonderland, maybe you could see your old girlfriend at mom- in-law Misrelda's castle.

Yeah, that plan worked out real well. I'm so sorry, I really wished I could have seen you one last time...

Something wet ran it's way down my cheek. I realized it was a tear. Quickly wiping it away, it occurred to me that not only had I lost my old life on Earth but also the one on their world as well. Ironic, as much as I fought against it, that crazy Suc-u-bitch Katrina was right. I made friends and connections, I did end up having a life there. The light turned green and we were on our way again.

I glanced over to Vicky. Wasn't doing such a great job here either. During the year long dream, in the odd moments between training, I had a chance to ponder my own history and actions.

I knew the Maou wasn't a big fan of mine. I also had the inkling that she didn't like the idea of me being married to her granddaughter. The only reason she tolerated me was because I had the key to Big Boy. Her sending me back to Earth conveniently killed quite a few birds with a single stone. Got me to clean up her mess, got me out of her hair and away from Romie, all at the same time.

She made a single sided decision that affected the life of Romie and I. Did I do the same with Vicky and Devin? Yeah the guy was a scum bag, but she was also a grown woman capable of making her own decisions, her own mistakes and I took that away.

In doing that, did I become just as bad as the Maou? She was pretty damn famous for forcing her idealism on everyone else. In my own way, I did the same to Vicky. The idea of that not only left a very bad taste in my mouth but made me reconsider my actions.

"I shouldn't have interfered with your life." I mumbled aloud, still in thought.

"What?"

"I did the same thing to you that the Maou did to me all those years back. She didn't have any right to, and neither did I. It was messed up, unfair, and pretty much just plain fucked up. I didn't treat you like an adult and I forced something that I shouldn't have."

I paused and licked my lips before continuing, "I know it doesn't mean much right now with everything that's been done, but... I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that."

She didn't say anything. It felt like I was in the car with Didi all over again until she said,

"You're right I didn't. I'm the only daughter in the family. The baby, even though I'm in college for Maou fucking sake. Mom, dad, aunt Didi they all treat me the same, like I don't know what I'm doing even though I found you, fixed that phone, and did more than they ever could. I thought you were different. I thought you understood me."

She didn't say anything more. She didn't need to because she was right. Guilt continued to well up in me but I had one last thing to say,

"I'm not very good at making life choices, I think that's pretty obvious. I zig when I should zag, make spur of the moment decisions that are honestly the wrong ones. It's not an excuse, and I don't want it to be one but I did what I did because I saw the way he treated you. It pissed me off that he mistreated you and I made a rash choice. I know I'm essentially a stranger but if you have to believe one thing, it's that I did it because I do care for you. I do love you. And in the end, I want the best for you. I want someone that treats you with respect. That looks at you with love. You're my only granddaughter after all." I finished softly.

Her cheeks reddened with a blush and she glanced over to me which nearly got us into a car accident as there was another red light.

We arrived at Trader Joanna's a few minutes later with both of us sporting minor whiplash and Vicky's tires now a little balder than they used to be. Getting out and walking to the sliding door, I was stopped by her pulling me into a rough hug.

"You're a fucking pain in the ass, you know that?" She mumbled into my chest.

"Yeah," I answered gently.

"And I'm still mad at you!" She growled while tightening her hug. I did my best to ignore the creaking pain of my ribs.

"But... I love you too."

With a smile, I rested my head against her purple hair. I'm not ashamed to say that her hug made my entire day a hell of a lot better.

"Are those the same clothes you've been wearing since like forever?" She asked as we walked through the aisles of the grocery store. List in hand and cart in front, I absently kept an eye out for the needed products.

"Yep."

"Eww. That's gross."

"Not really, they don't get dirty."

"So what, they're like magical clothes?" She laughed.

"Yep."

Ketchup, check. Used up the last bit on George's burgers.

Extra Virgin Cold Pressed Rapeseed Oil? Rapeseed? What the fuck? That can't be real. I looked over to the cooking oils on the same aisle. Vegetable oil, canola oil, avocado oil, olive oil, extra virgin cold pressed... Son of a bitch. Fine, whatever.

Disgusted, I threw the bottle in the basket.

"Okay, and who gave you these magical threads?" She mocked making quotes with her fingers as she said the word 'magical.'

"Ilias." I replied, invoking a name that brought its fair share of drama and more.

Eggs next, farmers pack, 5 dozen.

"Uh, I'm sorry, I don't think I heard that right." She said stopping dead in her tracks midway back through the condiment section.

"You did." I answered, still walking.

"No, I didn't," she exclaimed running after me and grabbing my arm, "because you said the actual name of the-"

She looked around to make sure there was no one eavesdropping, then whispered,

"Of the Maou freaking damn Chief God of the old world!"

"And you heard right."

"That's impossible! We learned in school that she was captured long ago!"

"She looked pretty uncaptured to me." I shrugged while turning into the dairy section.

"Is-Is she still around?" Vicky asked with a touch of fear in her voice.

"No," I stopped and thought about that night and the sadness in her eyes. I think she was really hoping I would change my mind and go with her. Like me, she lost her world and perhaps she felt a kinship in our mutual disparity. Repressing the feeling of sorrow beginning to bubble in my own self, I looked over to see Vicky staring at me.

"She left Earth. Went to go explore the universe, or something like that," I said quietly with forced a smile, "so don't worry."

Carefully putting the pack into the cart I looked at what was next. Bread- whole wheat, party size bag of potato chips, a gallon of organic Holstaur milk. Organic? As opposed to what? Non-organic Holstaur milk? Whatever. 4 green bell peppers, 2 yellow onions, 4 large Rapefruits. Rapefruit? You know what? I'm not even gonna ask. Pint of chocolate ice cream, a 2 liter of Coke and Sprite...

"Ooookaay," she replied disbelievingly while staring at me like I was a damn nut job, "and how exactly is it that you know all this and her and why did she give you stuff?"

I sighed, not exactly too keen on reliving that part of my life.

"I was there when she left for good. That and... We... kinda ran into each other... a few times before that." I said dismissively. Vicky swung around, blocking the carts path, and interlaced her fingers into the grates.

"How about you do better than that." She glared, annoyed that I was skirting around the topic.

Guess I wasn't that lucky today.

"Look, she kinda had a thing for me, okay? She gave me the clothes after she broke me out of the asylum Druella put me in and wanted me to come with her. I said no and she left. End of story." I gave a small push and Vicky moved out of the way.

"Grandma, that Romie cat girl and now the Maou damn Chief God?! What in hell were you doing in the old world?!" She whispered in awe.

"Fucking up and trying to keep alive." I answered testily. Those two were about the only things I seemed to be good at back then and even now. I can honestly say that I didn't know what the hell I was doing, just making it all up as I went along. But with Arawn and his not brothers help, I felt like maybe there was a plan, that maybe things wouldn't end up going south this time around.

"Anything else you wanna confess?" She asked.

I paused. Well in for a penny, in for a pound was the old saying, right?

"I'm being taught alien martial arts and how to use magic in my sleep by a bunch of friends from another dimension that are dead and now ghosts."

Vicky squinted at me a good 5 minutes before I added,

"I also have a couple rocks from Ilias and them that I'm guessing will give me magical super powers."

Another minute or so passed.

"...Wh- Why do you make my brain hurt so much?"

I shrugged nonchalantly and she sighed deeply.

"Okay, anything more?" She huffed, frustrated by my indifference to her pain.

"If I remember, you'll be the first one I tell."

She threw up her hands at that.

"Countess Chocula?" I asked aloud, peering down to the bottom of the list. It was scribbled hastily and not in the same handwriting as the rest.

"Oh! That ones mine! Be right back!" She exclaimed, all traces of exasperation gone, as she ran off to what I assumed was the cereal aisle.

I sighed at that one. Cooking oil, fruit and now cereal. Guess even breakfast wasn't safe from Mamono. A sudden burning sensation from my pants pocket forced me to look up to see a strange looking Baphomet sitting on the edge of the refrigerator section of the cheese. She was dressed not in modern day clothing but in a revealing metal bikini that was the common favorite for them back in the day. A wicked looking scythe was next to her, casually leaned up against the gouda.

"Mmm, who would have guessed, after all these years? I thought you were a sidekick of his. Just some worthless human pet that he kept around to be entertained by."

She grabbed the scythe and hopped down, slowly walking towards me.

"All those times, I pursued him. Wanting to make him mine. His power mine. When he died, I thought I lost that opportunity. And here you are, looking the same after a hundred years have passed. I can smell him on you, smell his magic, his power."

Pretty sure this chick wasn't spouting out a super villain monologue just for the hell of it. I cursed my stupidity for leaving Winona in the glove box of Vicky's Bug but then I realized, even without her, I could still take care of business. Ignoring the pain, I snatched Ilias's marble out of my pocket and readied myself for an attack. What really sucked was this shit was going down in a god damn grocery store. I didn't want to involve any bystanders, including my own granddaughter!

"And who the fuck are you, lady?" I asked, stalling to think of some way I could move this outside.

"Aww you don't remember me?" She mocked as a hand rose to cover her mouth. "You were the only one who saw me that day when I sent those ogres to play with you and Arawn in the Royal Maki. Silly boy, my name is Belphegor."

Wait, what the...?

My mind flashed back the first time I met Arawn. Our night out on the town. The laughter on the wind and a weird little goat girl smiling at us from an alleyway.

Holy fuck that was her!

"You do remember!" She squealed as she stopped and put her hand on her cheek, blushing slightly.

"Look, you don't want to do this. Not here, not right now. We can take it outside, just you and me." I said, desperate to avoid anyone getting hurt from what was sure to be a fight.

"Yes. I do. I can't wait to make you my own," she leaned forward and inhaled deeply, seeming to ignore my pleas.

"But you're not done yet," Belphegor pouted, looking disappointed. "Almost. But not yet. Too bad, because even with the stench of that bitch in your hand, you smell absolutely delicious right now."

Enough of this crap.

"Well what are you waiting for then? Come on!" I growled while adjusting my posture into that of a combat ready one. If this bitch wanted to start some shit, I was ready to kick her ass. Maybe I could throw her out an emergency exit or a through a wall or... something. That would at least get us out of the building.

She leaned back, grinning evilly.

"Sorry, I don't like my food undercooked. See you soon, cutie."

Spinning around, she used the scythe to slash open a small, black portal. Turning back, she blew me a kiss before entering and disappearing into it. The rip was just sealing itself as my granddaughter appeared from around an aisle.