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Click here"Come, Little One, it is time for us to go."
She looks apprehensive. Not scared, but confused. Looking deep into her eyes he repeats the order, his pupils dilating slightly as he does so.
She steps towards him without hesitation, not wondering why she would do so when a moment ago it seemed like such a bad idea. She owes him her life. She does not know who he is, but she feels like that fact alone means he owns her, and she will trust him. His eyes are captivating; her whole being trembles in response to his very presence. There is something about him that makes her want to please him. It confuses her; she has never felt this way before.
She gets into the car. He leans over her to fasten her seatbelt, his breath caressing her neck as he does so.
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They have been driving along dark country roads for more than half an hour before she finds the nerve to speak again.
"Where? Where are we going?"
"Home"
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Just like Chapter 4, this submission was rejected due to too extensive use of quotes. It was originally written "wrapped around" the entire lyrics of "Sweet Child o' Mine" by Guns N' Roses. As it now stands, the first verse remains, setting the tone for the start of the story,
Although I reworked CH.4 to past tense, I have left this in the original present tense. Which do you prefer?
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Original A/N - Wow, this got a lot longer, and a tad darker, than I planned. I hope you don't mind :)
I'm curious if your thoughts on Little One's rather quick submission to Adrian change when you know what kind of situation he got her out of? ;) Also, this is giving you a little inkling of Adrian's two minds regarding her, why he is trying to keep her at arm's length yet cannot help but be enamored by her. This duality started the moment he laid eyes on her, as you can see.
Between the events in this chapter and the first time we meet LO in chapter one, 1 week has passed. In that time she has asked to leave and been denied, realizing she has but traded one captor for another and initiating the flight attempts. She has also learned a little bit about vampires as well as, probably, begun exhibiting the start of Stockholm's Syndrome.
*Chuckles to herself at Hillbilly wannabe-rapist calling Adrian 'Gramps'*
I prefer past tense as well, it seems to work better, I get a bit confused with the present sometimes. xxx
Prefer past tense, but don't mind present. Just don't care for both within same chapter. It was subtle, but still obvious, that he was putting some mind control on her to get in the car. She was definitely shocky as well. I didn't see this as submission.
Oh, I almost forgot;
About her following him meekly; When he tells her to get in the car (first paragraph of page 2) he looks her in the eye and his pupils dilate. That's your subtle clue that he is using mind control on her ;) (which also occurs in chapter 3)
Thanks all!
Chapter 5 is downright DIRTY, 12.000+ words of noncon, BDSM-style sex. It has been posted and is awaiting approval, let's hope it goes smoothly.
To the anon "Your Faithful Reader" : Little One is traumatized, in shock, when she goes with Adrian. She has just very narrowly escaped being gang raped, and possibly killed, and has then witnessed the slaughter of her assailants by someone who looks like a handsome man but simply can't be human. This terrifying creature, however, has so far only been of help to her.
So, reeling, when (in her mind) he offers to drive her home, she automatically complies. She is most definitively not tamed. This takes place 10 days BEFORE the escape attempt in chapters 1 and 2, after all.
Wow, this chapter is just mindblowing. Loved the fight (massacre) sequence of the six men. LO didn't have a chance against Adrian. Please hurry with chapter 5, as I'm all agog with what is going to happen between LO, Adrian and Kai. :)
I just wanted to comment that her surrender was too fast. I'd like to see her put up more of a fight. She had so much potential, I didn't want her to be tamed to fast and he barely did anything. :)
Can't wait for the next installment! Excited much!!!