The Last Summer of Its Kind

I made it to the water undetected as far as I knew and I happily splashed in, no longer concerned about making noise. In fact, I almost welcomed getting caught now, but I didn't think a lot about that. I thought about swimming off my energy and my heartache and my frustration about my own inability to leave the past behind. And I thought about how gloriously free I felt. More than once I paused and stood up straight in the water, and looked up at the shore to see if I'd been spotted.

It was maybe the fourth time I did that that I realized I probably had been spotted. I heard a screen door slam, and looked first to our cabin - which was dark - and then at our neighbors', which still had a faint glow in the door from a light somewhere else inside. I laughed like a kid, and then I felt another wave of arousal like the one that had inspired me to come outside in the first place, and then I had the same thought that had plagued me since puberty - "girls aren't like us, they don't enjoy this sort of thing". Yeah, but women do, I told myself, and though I didn't quite buy it, it did make me feel beautiful as I flipped onto my back for one final round.

I hadn't thought to bring a towel, so when I came dripping out of the water, I decided to throw caution to the wind and walk around the cabin to the front porch, where I'd left my towel to dry in the sun that afternoon. As I tiptoed quickly between the cabins, I heard for myself that I was right - women did enjoy that sort of thing. The buzzing sound I heard could have been any number of things, but the passionate moans and gasps accompanying it meant it could only be one thing. Delighted, I couldn't resist a look up at the window, but the curtain was drawn. I longed to stand right there and enjoy the beautiful music, but I knew that was just what Jimmy would do.

In any event, when I got to the porch, I found she was still audible from there. I gave up on trying not to eavesdrop as I grabbed up my towel and dried off. I was still working on that when she came with an intense yelp of joy and switched the vibrator off. I realized a moment too late that I'd let a laugh slip out, so I followed it with a "Thanks," and could only hope she'd heard both or neither.

Evidently it was both, for she let out a much louder laugh in response.

"You'd fuckin' love Jonesy's!" Jimmy announced when he finally stumbled out of bed well past noon the next day. "We gotta take you there tonight!"

"You sure you're up for another night there already?" I asked him.

"The girls are," he said. "Shelly and Angela, they were both lookin' swank there last night, couple of shitkickers in cowgirl getup, but that fit the music. The music sucked, but you'd've loved it, Tom."

"Yeah, but we'd still be one lady short," Scott added, plopping down next to me at the tiny kitchen table. "The ugly one wasn't there last night."

"Wasn't she?" I'd already decided to keep the previous night's encounter to myself.

"Dude, you're gonna have him thinking she's a unicorn pretty soon, he never gets to see her!" Jimmy said.

"That's one ugly unicorn," Scott said.

I opted to play along. "Come on, she can't be that bad!"

"Told you she had nice tits. But the rest?"

"Yeah, she can be that bad," Jimmy said. "I bet Shelly and what's-her-name just brought her along so they'd look even better by compare."

"And it worked!" Scott rejoined. "But hell, Tom, there'll be plenty of townie girls there if you ever want to get down off that cross of yours."

"Leave him alone if he'd rather wallow in it, dude," Jimmy said.

But I did join them that night, mostly to avoid an awkward meeting with Jen. And as any imaginary porn plot would have it, she was there. I didn't recognize her from behind, shapely in a faded old flowered jumper that managed to look chic from the back, and I wasn't looking at her as I took my first drag on my first Budweiser and soaked up the Hicksville USA aura. But instinctively I knew the screech of embarrassed laughter when she turned and saw me.

My lips curled into an embarrassed grin of my own and I barely managed to swallow before I joined in on the laugh. The guy she'd been chatting with looked disgusted at both of us and shuffled off.

"I'm sorry," I said, though I wasn't at all. "I was just flattered and 'thanks' seemed like the thing to say."

"No, it's fine!" Jen said. "It was a sweet thing to say. And thanks for the show."

"Dare I ask how good of a look you got?"

"Wouldn't you like to know!"

"I'm not sure if I would, to tell you the truth."

"Well, feel free to do it again and maybe this time you'll find out!" she teased. Once again I found myself looking a little too hard for attractiveness -- her smile was as endearing as her figure, at least when it was directed at me.

"So you finally met the unicorn," Scott said when Jen and I rejoined them at their table.

"The unicorn?" Shelly asked.

"Never mind him," Jimmy said. "Inside joke."

"Since puberty, no doubt," Angela said.

"Oh, we haven't-" I started but Scott kicked me under the table.

"Yeah, of course," Scott said. "Don't you ladies have inside jokes with your oldest friends?"

"I haven't kept in touch with anyone that far back," Shelly said. "I see them when I go home, but it's like, I've got my degree and they're on their second baby, some of them. What've we got in common anymore?"

"Yeah, but I think it's great you guys have all been pals since prep school," Angela added. "One last summer, then, let's see, you guys are both joining the Navy, and you, Tom?"

"Law school," I said, too bewildered to bother thinking of a lie. Scott really was joining up but Jimmy was joining his dad's boutique investment firm. He'd offered to get me an interview too but I still had too much of my mother's idealism that had given her the strength to get on that bus to Iowa.

"Hey, me too!" Angela said. "And these two won't let me hear the last of it!"

"I know the feeling!" That much, at least, was true.

"Enough about that," Shelly announced, standing up. "Who wants to dance?"

"Great idea!" I said, turning to Jen as I also got up. She looked up from her beer and flashed me a delighted look. There was that smile again.

But Shelly had other ideas. "Let's go, then!" She hooked her arm through mine, and I gave Jen and apologetic look and a shrug as her friend pulled me off to the dance floor. I never was accustomed to being the center of a triangle. But I didn't think of it long as I figured the others would all be up to join us soon enough.

Only they didn't. So Shelly had me to herself. I couldn't deny she was cute in her jean skirt and cowboy boots, and I let her lead me around in a tight little box-step around the far corner of the floor by the jukebox. "So spill it," she said almost as soon as we'd started. "What does Jimmy have to say about Angela?"

"He thinks she's fine as far as I know." I could only guess what kind of bullshit he'd fed the both of them, and didn't dare give anything away.

"Fine? Well, that's a start, I guess," she said. "You know, she's nuts about him, if he'd just open his eyes. You can't tell, can you, Tom?"

"I guess I hadn't been paying attention."

"Neither has he! Angela's a sensible gal, not the kind to play hard to get like this is eighth grade or something. And she respects that Jimmy might not be ready to let anyone in just yet. I get that, too, but the summer's only so long!"

"Oh, I'm sure he will before long," I said. "Especially if he sees she likes him."

"You are? Tom, that's great! I mean, it's been almost two years, and I know you don't get over that kind of thing quickly, but surely his father would want him to get on with his life."

Two years? His father? The bastard wouldn't.

And then Shelly revealed that oh yes, he would. "Which plane was his father on, again? North tower or south?"

"Oh, I don't remember offhand either," I told her, barely managing to hide my disgust behind a smile. "Not the kind of thing you ask him about, you know?"

"I'm sure! But listen, Angela's a sweetheart, a sensible one, but still. She's got so much love to give him if he'd let her in. And she's fragile too, underneath."

"He gets that, I know," I said. Then I couldn't help but think about my own chances. "What about Jen?"

"Oh, I think she's forgiven Jimmy, but I doubt they'll ever be friends or anything."

"Forgiven him?" I asked. "Forgiven him for what?"

Shelly looked surprised. "You mean-"

"Back off, Yankee!" came a gruff voice from behind, and an equally gruff hand on my collar that yanked me aside. As I stumbled off the edge of the dance floor and regained my balance, I saw the owner of the voice, twice my size and bald, in biker garb. "Get lost," he grumbled, and grabbed Shelly by both hips and pulled her close. She gave me a pitying look and then turned her attention to him.

No one else on the floor took much notice. I figured they all knew this guy too well to dare say anything. So my humiliation was fleeting, and I went back to our table without another look at Shelly.

Scott and Jimmy were both too deep into flirting with Angela for any of the three to even look up, and I figured they hadn't taken any notice of what had happened. But Jen had. "I should've warned you about Rocky," she said as I sat back down. "But don't worry, he wouldn't really hurt anyone as long as they don't fight back. Typical bully."

"It's okay," I said. "I'm sorry about, you know, the dance. I don't think Shelly realized I was about to ask you."

"Oh, she did!" Jen said wryly. "But I think she'll be busy with Rocky for a while anyway." She gave our other friends a look that none of them returned and then turned back to me. "Let's get out of here, huh?"

"Sure," I said, and all at once I remembered I still didn't know just what she might or might not have forgiven Jimmy for. But this was no time to ask about that. "Just let me hit the bathroom first. All that beer, you know?"

"I have to go too," Jen said, and followed me over by the jukebox. Men on the left, women on the right.

I was alone at the urinal when the door burst open, and for a horrible second I thought it must be Rocky out for more trouble. To my relief, it was only Jimmy. "Badass, there, man!" he said as he sauntered up beside me. "Thought you were gonna start a brawl."

"Shelly wasn't worth getting my teeth knocked out," I said.

"Too sensible for your own good as usual," Jimmy replied. "Don't you know girls love a guy who's been in a fight, even if he loses?"

"Right." I zipped up. "So which tower do I say-"

"North," Jimmy said. "And thanks, I owe you one for that."

"You sure do."

He said something else to me as I left the men's room but I didn't hear what. I was keeping one eye out for Jen, and the other for Rocky and Shelly so I could avoid them if I needed to. I hadn't seen either when I got to the door, and I stood just inside to wait for Jen.

She wasn't long in coming. "Thanks for waiting," she said. "And for giving me an excuse to get out of here!"

"You really don't like bars, huh?" I asked as we stepped out into the sticky night air.

"Not when Rocky's around," she said. "I've known him since I was a little girl, and he was always a bully even then. We used to cross the street if we saw him coming down the sidewalk on his bike."

"You're from here?"

"No, I'm from Jackson, but we've been coming here for the summer as long as I can remember. It's my parents' cabin, but they went to Europe this year. I used to love going into town. But you couldn't miss Rocky, terrorizing everyone on the square on his BMX bike, then on his motorcycle when he was old enough."

"I hope Shelly'll be okay with him," I said.

"Tom!" Jen looked impressed with me. "How can you be that noble after what she pulled?"

"She didn't pull anything," I said. "He cut in on us. What could she do?"

"She wanted you to be jealous, I'm pretty sure," Jen said. "I think she likes you, Tom."

"I like her, too, but...wait, do you mean like like?"

"I know the way she acts with guys she's interested in," Jen said. "So, yeah. But just between you and me, I think you can do better. She's a friend and all, but she's kind of shallow. You must've noticed by now, actually."

"I wasn't going to say so to her friend," I said.

"That's sweet." Jen grabbed my arm affectionately and held on just a moment too long, and I loved it.

The walk back to the cabins was ten minutes or so, just long enough to get the small talk out of the way and learn a little more about each other. She didn't touch me again and I returned the favor, and I was happy until I realized how much our comfortable conversation was reminding me of the other Jen. On a lark I decided to go all in on shoving the past off into the past. "Want to come in for a nightcap?" I asked as we approached the cabins.

Jen looked uncertain.

"I owe you a dance, too," I added with a grin.

That did the trick, and she smiled and nodded. "I might as well be in the room when you're playing those records so loud," she joked.

"How'd you know they were records?" I asked as I opened the door and ushered her inside.

"Cute, Tom, real cute," she said. Before I could ask what she meant, she helped herself to a look at the albums. "Mind if I choose?" she asked.

"Go ahead," I said, amused that she'd been able to spot the records right away. I went back to the kitchen and retrieved two cans of Busch, and got back just in time to see her setting a Patsy Cline album on the turntable. "Excellent choice," I said.

"Even if we weren't quite walkin' after midnight," she joked, looking at her watch. It was just a little past eleven.

"Well, we can still dance before midnight," I said, holding out my hand as "She's Got You" crackled out of the old speakers.

"You romantic, you!" Jen said, but she did slide her arms around me and let me sway her gently around. The words hit awfully close to home, as I hadn't had it in me to toss out any of my mementoes of the other Jen. But that just made me all the happier to be holding someone new, and she did feel lovely in my arms.

Jen was quiet with her head on my shoulder for a bit. Then she pulled back and looked up into my eyes. "So what is this, Tom? First one of you to get all three of us in bed wins?"

I tried to keep my temper as I pulled back and stepped away from her. I tried, but I didn't quite succeed. "Where the hell did that come from?!" I demanded. "Have I done anything to make you think I'm that kind of guy?"

"Well...no, Tom," she stammered. "It's just -- three guys, three girls, and..."

"And I'm not some chauvinistic frat boy, all right?!"

"I'm sorry, Tom. That came out wrong!"

"Why'd it have to come out at all? When did I ever give you any reason to think I'm that kind of guy? I mean, Jimmy is and Scott wants to be, but..."

"You know about Jimmy, then."

"Of course I know about him, he's my buddy. But he's a chauvinistic jerk, too, and of course I know about it. It's kind of hard to miss." I flopped down on the couch and couldn't even make eye contact with her.

"Then you don't know..."

"I don't know what?"

"Never mind. Tom, I'm sorry!" She looked sincere as could be as she said it, and even held out her arms for me to get back up off the couch and hold her again.

But I didn't do it. "Yeah, I know all about Jimmy," I said again. "But any kind of plan he and Scott have up their sleeves for the three of you, I don't know anything about it. Probably because they know I wouldn't want anything to do with it! And now you do too, Jen."

"Yes, I do," she said, dropping her arms to her sides. "Is there anything I can do to prove I'm sorry I said that, Tom?"

I gave her a conciliatory smile. "I believe you. Thanks."

"Now can we finish our dance?"

"Can I take a rain check on that?" I asked. "I accept your apology, but the mood's gone."

"I understand." She went to the door and slipped her sandals back on. "Come for a swim, maybe?"

"How about tomorrow night?" I said. "We can start fresh then."

"Good idea." She opened the door. "Good night, Tom."

"Night, Jen."

I shut the door after her and sat back down on the couch. Both our beers were open and nearly full on the table, and I resolved to finish them both and then go to bed. I was just about halfway through the first one when I heard a noise from out the kitchen window. The screendoor next door swinging shut, I guessed, and suddenly a crazy idea occurred to me. Too crazy to be true, but of course I just had to get up and look.

I turned out the kitchen light and stood a ways back from the window, and saw my crazy idea was right or at least almost right. Jen had kept her underwear on for the walk down to the water, and I thought she might keep it on for the swim. Instead, she paused at the water's edge and I felt my heart flip as she reached back to undo her bra. She kept her back to me as she tossed it aside and then pulled her panties down and kicked them away as well. I figured that was all I was going to see, but once again she surprised me by turning to look right at my window just before she stepped into the water.

Scott was right about one thing, though he had no idea how right he was. Jen did indeed have beautiful breasts. I drank in their serene beauty without hesitation as she stood looking in my direction, her body unapologetically on display.

She never quite looked right at me. I figured in the dark she couldn't be sure I was there. Maybe she saw me, maybe she didn't. But I went to bed thinking - and hoping - she'd turned around in hope that I was watching.

The next day I went into town for a haircut -- and, of course, in hope I might see Jen at the bookstore again. There was no way Jimmy or Scott would be caught dead there, after all, so we'd be away from prying eyes. The town's lone barber shop was across the square from the bookstore, so I had a birds-eye view as the older man went to town on my hair and shared what little he knew about Iowa and wanted to know if I supported our troops in Iraq, which I said I did.

There was no sign of Jen throughout those fifteen or so minutes. But as I was paying the man, I saw someone out of the corner of my eye who I thought might be her. "For you, sir," I said, handing him a $2 tip."

"Thank you kindly, son," he said, and I gave him a friendly wave goodbye as I stepped outside.

Whoever it was I'd seen, she was no longer in sight as I stepped into the street and made to cut across the square. I figured that was a good sign she'd ducked into the bookstore. I wasn't paying attention anywhere else as I crossed the street and stepped up onto the square. Not until I heard the last voice I wanted to hear from off to my left, anyway. "Hey! Look who it is! Yankee boy!"

I knew well enough to ignore Rocky. But not Shelly. "Leave him alone, Rocky." That got my attention in spite of my no longer giving a damn about Shelly, and I turned my head out of sheer morbid curiosity. There she was, sprawled in the backseat of a convertible that looked older than I was, knees in the air and Rocky perched between them.

"Get lost, kid," he grumbled. I turned to heed his order but he wasn't done. "What, you're not even gonna try to save your friend here?"

I didn't give a damn about Shelly anymore, but I didn't want a rape on my hands either. So I turned back and stepped back towards the car. "Shelly, are you okay?" I asked.

"She looks more'n okay to me," Rocky drawled with a triumphant grin that was just as menacing as ever. "Nice undies, huh?"

Shelly tried to pull her skirt down over her hips but Rocky jammed one hand down tight onto her belly, giving me a much clearer view than I wanted of her thong panties. "Yeah, beautiful," I said. "Shelly, listen -- "