The Lecture

"I know your guilt and shame. I don't feel it. Nor would I ever. I'm not a little bitch like you. But I know you do. I know, baby."

He sits on the couch and looks up at me, smiling. I'm standing in the middle of the room in front of him. Tears running down my cheeks, mascara streaks.

"You have the most beautiful butt I think I've ever seen. You really do. That should please you that I think that."

I stand and stare at the floor.

"And I know how hard it is for you to embrace what you are, at times. A little faggot queer girl. I know you want to run from it. Ashamed of being a sissy boy for me. I know you get all hot and bothered thinking of it all. I've heard your confession to me. And I understand. But the reality of having others maybe see you like this, others that would laugh or tease, ridicule, I know that's hard for you. But we're going to get you past that. You're going to learn to take it and to accept what you are. It's what you really want, princess."

He's naked, sitting on my couch. His huge cock close to fully erect. He told me what to wear and where to be standing when he arrived. I did as he told me to do.

I've just been severely paddled. He doesn't need an excuse. My butt is bright red just short of being bruised. I feel the sting of it burn as I stand there. I won't be able to sit comfortably for a day or two. I've been through this before.

He did that thing he does. One severe stroke with the wooden flat paddle super hard across my entire lower rear end, told to keep my hands on the back of my head. Then he asks if I want him to hit me again. If I say 'no' I get five ultra hard super-fast smacks that almost make me bolt. And if I do say 'no', I get retrained and we start over, wrists to the ceiling in the basement. He's groomed me for this. To be able to stand without having to be restrained and take the most harsh paddling. I have learned to say 'Yes, Daddy. Please hit me again. I deserve it. Please punish me.' I say that through a sobbing and quivering voice. When I reach hysterical crying he usually stops.

He has just placed the paddle on the couch next to him. He sits and looks up at me as I sob.

"We haven't done this in front of others. But we will, sweetie. It's one of my dirty thoughts, you paddle like this, made to stand in the corner or nose to the wall while others watch, ignore you as they comment, enjoy the party. Very hot, wouldn't you say, sweetheart?"

I mumble, 'yes, daddy...', barely audible through my tears.

"You are so fucking cute! You really are."

He leans slightly forward.

"And I know that as soon as you masturbate and cum in that dripping little bitch way you do, it's the worst. Isn't it? You just want to run, cry, hide, want desperately to not be what you are. You want to deny that this is the real you."

He laughs.

"As if we're going to let that happen. As if I'm going to let you stop being the sissy girl I own. My little helpless sex addict girl. It's why I named you 'precious', precious."

My face is bright red, my eyes to the floor. I'm in only white ankle strap heels and white ruffle top sissy sox. My bare smooth legs lead up to the pink bow I tied for him around my tiny balls, pushing my little thing out in front with a large ribbon bow on top of it all. I am baby smooth top to bottom. Dark eye shadow and bright shiny pink lipstick, a pink spike hair wig and large pink plastic hoop earrings. I look the perfect piece of sissy candy for him.

"I like that submissive shame. I like it a lot. Do you know how much pleasure you give me being the submissive bitch you are? Do you? Answer me!"

He leans forward in his chair, glares up at me.

"I do, Daddy. I do. I really do and love doing this for you. No other man has understood me like you do, Daddy. I do..."

I feel my voice quiver. I feel the shame he is confronting within me. I feel helpless. Owned by him. He is a master at this. It's why I want no other man. Only him

"Get over here and suck my dick!! Move! Should I paddle you again! Let's go. What are you waiting for?"

I hurry to him and drop to my knees. His hard on bounces in my face as he leans back on the couch, pushing his hips up and out toward my face. I take him in my mouth.

He just sits and watches. Doesn't make a sound. He is rock hard as I masturbate him with my mouth.

"Look at me, little sissy girl. Eyes up here!"

I look up at him as I run his huge erection in and out of my mouth.

"Look at you. A little cocksucker. This is what you are. And you're going to learn to accept that shame you feel at times. You should be proud that that pleases me. No matter how guilty you feel about it at times."

He runs one finger up my cheek as I move him in and out of my mouth, long full strokes.

"Perfect, little one. And we're going to make it even more perfect. You're going to be moving into my home."

He feels me stop slightly. He laughs loudly.

"That got your attention. Make me cum. Do it, little cocksucker. Make me cum. I don't have all day."

He just stares as I suck to make him cum, masturbate him with mouth rapidly, pushing the head of it against the roof of my mouth, holding my tongue tight against the hole, the way he loves.

When he does cum, I struggle as always not to choke on the long hard spurts he always does. I suck him until he is finished, feel him go slightly semi erect in my mouth as I swallow it all. He's huge even like that, semi hard. He just sits and stares.

"Now wasn't that good? Isn't that what you want? You very much please me, girly girl."

He laughs and pushes my head off him.

"Yes, Daddy. Thank you, Daddy."

I kiss the tops of his legs, his thighs. My eyes go to the floor.

"I love that mouth. But I think I like fucking that butt more. The whimpering sounds you make are delicious. And it's so easy to make you do that by pushing in just a little too deep."

He laughs.

"And you are the tightest little bitch I've ever had. I mean that. I have never had an ass that tight."

He leans back.

"Get me a cup of coffee and then stand in front me like I told you to do, facing me. Move."

I hurried to get his coffee and do as told.

"Big step for you. I don't know how you do it but that's your problem, not mine. You're moving in with me, full-time. I'm having you styled professionally too. Hair, nails, weekly routine. You're about to become the house girl I need and the bitch you were meant to be. You clean up your affairs in the real world and count on living with me within two months. I want full time access to you. My very own 1950s house wife-girl. We'll spend time at my Florida house too. Anyone that meets or sees you will see you as this, what you really are. They'll know the nature of our relationship. No more boy clothing, precious. You'll love that. And no stupid fucking tits. I want you flat chested, want you to accentuate those perfect sissy faggot queer nipples. You really are going to be in sissy heaven, little bitch. And you'll have me to thank for that."

He sips his coffee. He sees me stunned, staring at the floor.

"We'll go over the rules when you move in. You're already trained for proper discipline should you not learn quick enough. I expect my house to run orderly. Tell me you don't want that. I dare you. Tell me you don't want to be owned like that, bitch."

He sips his cup and sits it on the side table. He stands. He cups my butt with one hand and takes my little penis in his other. I cry out in pain as he squeezes my almost bleeding cheeks. He ignores it. He hears me whimper and sees the tears as he pats my butt.

"You can't say 'no' to me. We both know that. Ooooo, baby, your butt is very warm. I like that. That pleases me."

He pets my rear end. He starts to fondle my tiny penis.

"We're going to lock this up. It'll help mold that sissy state of desire in your mind. Keep you constantly hot and dripping in your penis restraint. That will please me too. I'll let you out of locked chastity at times, allow you to play with yourself in front of me every couple of weeks or so, or for the amusement of some of my friends. But that'll be rare. Nobody will fuck this ass but me. You are mine alone. I want that mindset in the right place."

He starts to masturbate me. I feel the middle finger of his other hand slip up into my butt. I feel him pushing me up onto my toes. Cradling my cheeks in his hand, his middle finger moves deep up into me.

"It's all going to be so simple once we start doing this full-time, baby doll."

I moan softly as he works me like that. Playing with my semi erect but still tiny penis, finger fucking me. I close my eyes lost to his hands.

"So do you feel shame now, want to run away?"

He laughs loudly as I stammer softly, 'no, noooo, no, Daddy, noooooo...I want it all...'

He kisses my cheek.

"I know how to work my little girl. I know how to please her. You're what you're supposed to be. Right now, you are perfect. And we're going to build on that. You're guilt about it all after you cum will be part of the pleasure I take from you. It already is."

His finger pushes so deep up into me I cry out, start to lift up as high as I can onto my toes. I started to whimper loudly.

"Good, girl. Very good girl. Feel that slippery wet pre cum little sissy clit of yours in my hand, all messy? I love that. So do you, girl."

He kisses my ear, takes it in his teeth.

"I'm coming back here this evening. Want you beautiful. I may bring a friend I've been talking to about you. I want you sissy gorgeous. I've told him about you but don't know if tonight will be the night I introduce you to him. We'll see. I want to fuck my pretty girl whether he's here or not. You gonna do that for me, baby? Gonna be gorgeous?"

He wiggles the tip of finger around so deep in my it almost hurts.

"Yessss, Daddy, yesss...ahhhh....ooooo.'

He takes his hand away from me, pulls his finger out of me. He sticks it in my mouth and stares as I suck it. He kisses my ear, my neck.

"I have a business meeting in an hour or so. I'll be back later. You gonna miss me?"

"Yesssss, Daddy, yessss..."

I stammer as he smiles, laughs softly.

"I know you, don't I?"

He kisses my cheek, wipes his finger on the side of my face, moves away from me and starts to dress.

"Yessssssssssss. You know me better than any man I've been with, Daddy. I think you are wonderful."

The tastes of my rear end, his cum in my mouth, my makeup running down tears on my cheeks, my lipstick all over my face, my butt bright red...I see myself in the hall full length mirror.

He dresses quickly and moves to the door, smiles at me.

"You know I love you."

He leaves.

I masturbate in front of the mirror, do it and let it drip onto the tile floor. As soon as I cum I feel the shame. I steel myself. I stare at myself in the mirror. I love what I see staring back. And I love the shame.

I will not ever be anything other than what I am. I am his.