The Light Within Ch. 03

"I know you better now than I did then and I feel confident in saying that if my attempts to control you had been restricted to those needs alone you might have forgiven me. Foolishly, however, I anticipated a greater burden."

I furrowed my brow as the sun dipped completely beyond the horizon. Dregs of light hung in the twilight and I wondered how long I still had to walk before it was dark enough. I had another half hour in me, tops.

"In coming here you jeopardized your health and your freedom. I knew that if we left the area around the ship we risked having the Loyalists reclaim it, as they have no doubt done by now. Unless I am able to gain a vast amount of control over my people, there is no way for you to leave, ever. Therefore, nothing could ever be allowed to cause a rift or ill will between us because I could not bear to keep you with me against your will or in spite of your wishes. I did not trust your affection adequately, nor did I trust my own ability to protect you here. I feared we would both regret your decision to come here and that the only way to prevent it would be to control all aspects of the nature of our relationship. I believed that in controlling you I could control myself and even the will of creatures and the outcome of events greater than either of us. I do not know how to apologize adequately."

I gave that some time to roll around in my head. Of course I had considered the possibility that Perikos and I weren't as meant for each other as my frequent multiple orgasms originally indicated but the thought kind of stopped there. I just told myself that the alternative of being a human out on my ass, friendless, with a huge "gourmet" sign stamped to my head was too horrible to consider properly, and so if Perikos and I weren't getting on it was tough titties. Impulsive lustful decisions like moving to a (nearly) lightless planet to be with your new lover of three days rarely left room for plan b and so I hadn't allowed for potential regret. I could roll my eyes and grit my teeth all I wanted about Perikos' grand failed love strategy, but couldn't I easily be accused of the same thing? I mean, no one wanted to be bossed around every minute of every day and I couldn't really be faulted for rebelling against that shit, but Perikos and I were always having a battle of wills and I imagined it was for the same reason. I felt like if I could define certain aspects of our "relationship" then I could protect both of us, because I guess I didn't have a ton of confidence of happily ever after either. No matter what it was, I had to fight it, I had to assert control and defiance just in case Perikos had forgotten it was my right to do so. The only thing Perikos wanted that I could remember offering willingly was nourishing Shadow and even that Perikos and I fought it out over the method. There was a lot of freaky shit Perikos could have done to me for Shadow without me picking a fight but I know in my heart I would have anyway. For his part, Perikos didn't seemed to want me to offer it; he only wanted whatever he was convinced he couldn't have, and then it was only to remind me who was boss.

"Why are we doing this to ourselves?" I muttered out loud.

Perikos' melody was warm but quiet. "For the same reason we decided to stay together, I suppose. I enjoy controlling you and you thrive on being controlled by me. I have always meant it when I said I appreciate your combative nature. When I stifle your protests or silence you, I only mean to elicit your contrarian ways, not purge you of them. Along the way I seem to have become confused in my decision making. I do not wish to change you, Jayn. However, in my fear of losing control of our passion and our safety, I have made choices I believed would ultimately benefit you and you have, with good reason, resented me for it."

I blinked. "The stitches in my ear –?"

"That was a fluke,"Perikos' tone was barely more than a whisper. "I could never have anticipated such an occurrence and even now I do not know the cause, though I am sorry you have suffered for it."

Okay, I had suffered a bit mentally, but I couldn't help feeling guilty when he said it. I was tougher, hardier than I used to be and I also doubted Perikos and I would ever be easily separated again, no matter what the Loyalists tried to do. I might actually survive, even thrive on this planet because of the 'fluke', but I hadn't been ready for that perspective on things until now.

"I was referring to my most recent feeding,"Perikos said quietly."I was afraid for both of us, for the shifting and changing of our dynamic and I attempted to reinstill your original sense of fear, which so heightened your arousal. It was wrong of me to assume so much and use you in such away."

Damn straight, I thought, watching more pinpricks of light emerge and twinkle in the night sky. It was wrong, but it sort of worked, though I wasn't sure if that made it more or less wrong. I'd been noticing the way my heart began to race as we moved closer and closer to the dark zone. The blackness felt like a dense, violent fog constricting around me the further I walked. I remembered back on Kragosa that Perikos seemed like darkness incarnate. Sexy, dangerous, unpredictable, capable of hiding and then exploiting all my most embarrassing secrets. The way he moved, the way he seemed indistinguishable from the night around him until he pushed me down and fed from me triggered a dampness to form between my legs for the first time in five days. I remembered when he told me he liked me and I realized he was capable of fondness and considered me worthy of his. I had felt so ashamed, so twisted and lost because I realized that I loved something that might never love me back, something so unlike me it may as well have been an animal. I also understood then what I had recently forgotten: that I was in love the living embodiment of my most primal fear. I wanted to be afraid of him, at least a little. I never wanted to feel entirely safe, entirely in control. Perikos was right to apologize for trying to rob me of any autonomy I had, but he understood, even from the beginning, before I did. I never expected to come here to be safe, to live the quiet life. As much as I missed Ferox 4, I had never wanted the samey farming life and I had never wanted any man or woman to share it with. Maybe on some level I wanted to lose the farm so I would have an excuse to move on. I never meant to end up at Kragosa but keeping the farm alive for Dad's memory was always martyrdom and nothing more – how many times had my brother Mylon told me that? Perikos had tried to remind me what it was to wonder what was between us, to be terrified and aroused at the same time, to fear and anticipate our next encounter and that was what I needed, even if he fucked it up in the execution.

"Please be yourself, my Little Shade, because it is your mind and heart I long for and I am sorry I ever gave you reason to doubt my affection for you."Perikos had probably read my mind but in this particular instance I felt okay with that.

I would have responded but I felt something move around me and felt a burst of excitement and relief quite unconnected to the conversation Perikos and I were having.

Shadow knocked me off my feet and onto my back, wrapping two fleshy tendrils around my wrists, while a third positioned itself directly in front of my face, as though he was looking at me. I was stunned, both by his fortuitous appearance and the fact that by now it was clearly dark enough for Perikos to come out.

"You are well?"Shadow might as well have shouted it; his energy was palpable."I feel Leader's presence! Where is he?"

I clasped my hand around the tendril holding my left wrist and squeezed. I had missed Shadow, in all honesty, and I had been worried about him since I discovered Perikos was okay. There was no point in speculating what had happened to him so Perikos and I both avoided the subject during my trek. But he was here now, and so was Perikos and everything was going to be okay.

I took Shadow's tendril and directed it down over my stomach and I felt Perikos twitch and shift inside me.

"Inside you!"Shadow's staccato made me grin.

"We walked from the coast of the ocean," I explained. "The sun was up, we had no choice."

"From the Greedy Sea? That would be very far for your slow, short appendages to travel but it explains why you took so long. You are both alive!"

I didn't know quite what to do with this jolly, optimistic version of Shadow but Perikos' voice filled my head.

"Spread your legs and relax, Little Shade. We are safe now."

I leaned back so my spine was straight and bent my knees as I took a deep breath and tried to relax. I felt a sharp poke like pin inside and then my insides felt completely full and Perikos wiggled and pulled himself out. I watched him grow and stretch as he left me, so that it seemed as though something impossibly large was inside me just a moment before, which was true, in a way.

I saw the two masses of darkness that were Perikos and Shadow seem to merge and I gathered they were embracing, and probably sharing the abridged version of their respective weeks.

"Your survival in the sea and after was a good omen! Perhaps a miracle!"Shadow said, twisting around Perikos so I couldn't tell where one of them ended and the other began.

"Our survival in the sea was indeed very fortunate,"Perikos told him,"but after we encountered the Light, it was not miraculous. I owe my life yet again to Jayn. She was very brave and showed great perseverance."

I couldn't help but beam. Shadow wound a soft tentacle around my ankle and I felt genuine gratitude pouring into me from where he touched me. I hoped I was hiding my surprise.

"You have exhausted yourself," Perikos said. I looked up, thinking he was talking to me, but I noticed his attention was turned to Shadow.

Shadow's melody was much quieter, even bashful and apologetic."Naturally. I could not rest until I had found you and there was nothing on which to feed, of course. For you, Leader, such a situation might be little more than a nuisance, but I am not as young as I used to be."

I could see where this was going but I was at least mostly fine with it. Thinking about the darkness, about Perikos had got my all hot and bothered and Shadow need to be strong. He didn't deserve to starve, not after all he had done for both of us.

"S-Shadow?" I swallowed hard, hearing my own voice. "You s-should probably...if you wanted to, I mean. I don't mind, but if you don't want to, that's fine, I just thought I would –"

"Jayn is offering herself to you, my Second,"Perikos said, making me want to evaporate on the spot.

I had barely enough time to hope I wasn't only seduced by force out of paralyzing fear of rejection before two tentacles wound around my waist and hips and flipped me over. Two more thick tentacles spread my thighs apart and a fifth wrapped around my wrists and hands so I couldn't move.

"Your offer is generous, Sweet Shade, and my Second and I will alleviate you of the embarrassment of having to ask twice."

A very small, knobbly tendril clamped down hard on my clit and I began to buck and grind against it. I felt Shadow coil around my waist and hips like Perikos did and they both tightened their grip on me.

Perikos pinched my labia together a moment and then pulled them wide apart, giving Shadow total access to my dripping pussy. I felt a chill run over my body and I took a ragged breath, turning my head as far as I could to look behind me.

Two cool dark masses pulsed between my legs, making me tremble with anticipation. Something poked just inside me and a moment's concentration told me it was Shadow. He widened his girth to fill my hole completely and rested there, quite still. I groaned and writhed but patience was not one of my virtues.

"Oh please, just do whatever it is, but don't tease me anymore," I said, my whispers hoarse.

The tendril on my clit massaged it slowly and then something was held next to my face. I had to squint through the darkness to see it properly but then I made out the finer details. It looked like a blunt corkscrew. I could make out Perikos' steely, almost iridescent skin next to Shadow's duller, spongier form. They were coiled around each other and I knew exactly where they intended to put that. I could feel my pulse quicken and my heartbeat pound in my ears.

"Are you sure you want this, Little Shade?"Perikos asked, perhaps as a testament to our discussion earlier. Under normal circumstances I would have protested – I couldn't see how it was going to fit inside me. Maybe I could go back to protesting some day, back to playing the reluctant participant, but for now I didn't want to know how it would fit and I didn't want reassurances. Perikos knew my body and soon Shadow would too. They would use it well and I would come, and part of the thrill would be not knowing.

In answer I opened my mouth and bent forward far enough to kiss the joint tentacle. It wasn't enough. I opened my mouth and laved it with my tongue, feeling their winding forms and tracing my tongue into the creases. One of Perikos' tendrils petted my head as I did and I felt Shadow shudder beneath my tongue.

"Very well, Little Shade,"Perikos' song pulsed with warmth, maybe even love. "A moment please while we prepare you."

Instead of swallowing my tongue or fainting dead away with arousal, I tried to hold still. They coiled around my ribcage, snaking between my hanging breasts and then around my elbows and calves. They both tightened their hold and I was lifted off the ground, suspended a few feet in the air, my pussy and ass still exposed to them. Perikos draped his darkness over the curve of my back to coil around my neck. The tendril was strong and wide enough that I couldn't turn to look behind me anymore. He continued to stroke my hair and I felt Shadow shift so that the bulk of him was beneath me. His meaty tendrils encircled my breasts tightly and I moaned from the pressure but still I wanted more. The tendril at my clit ground against me again and Perikos brushed against my cheek.

"Open, please, Little Shade. I have noticed when I chosen not to gag you that you are wistful in its absence.'

I parted my lips and one of Perikos' lean and perfect tendrils slid past my teeth and rested heavily against my tongue. I was relieved it wasn't Shadow and I tried to breathe normally around it, alternating between licking and sucking it.

I felt the hefty coiled phallus nudge against my puffy lips and my moan became a growl in my throat. I needed it inside me, now.

"Are you ready?"Perikos' melody was so gentle but I could hear the orchestral swell building. I felt the tension beneath it, like I felt hammering at my chest and deep in my stomach.

I tried to concentrate on every inch of contact at once and I felt Shadow's tendrils return to my puffy lips and pull them wide open for the intruder. My body felt like a string that had been tightened too much. The pressure of waiting might make me snap.

They pushed it inside of me, stretching me wide until I could almost taste the pain. Less than an inch inside and I already felt completely full but I knew they wouldn't stop and this time my heart skipped a beat. Call me a hypocrite, I don't care. This time it was different. This time I realized how much control I really had and how badly I wanted to give it all away. And how happy Perikos was to take it. I felt him guide the pulsing organ into me another inch before giving me a few moments to adjust. I had been this full before but never this way. I could feel the thick coils inside me, the two different creatures they belonged to. I couldn't concentrate on their thoughts but I felt their separateness fill me. Two different beings pushing deeper inside me, filling me.

I came hard when Perikos and Shadow burrowed into me another inch. Perikos expanded to fill my mouth as full as he and Shadow were filling my pussy, effectively drowning my holler of ecstasy out completely.

I felt the enormous member bump my cervix and I squirmed in my bonds. Several beads of sweat ran down my face and between my breasts from the exertion of being so completely filled and holding still while it happened.

Shadow began to squeeze and knead my breasts and twist my nipples. If Perikos had done it might have left me cold but I reveled in the alienness of Shadow's touches. I was still something very strange to him and he couldn't quite figure out how to work my parts; Perikos had always been extremely aware of my every desire, my slightest reaction. Shadow squeezed them tightly enough that I thought they would bruise but instead of pulling away I let go.

I felt the shaft inside me begin to withdraw before plunging back in so hard my whole body shook. They pulled out again and then thrust back into me again and my pussy stretched wide around them. It was clenched so tightly around them I could hardly believe it could expand and adjust to fit their quickening thrusts.

Shadow squeezed and swatted my tits and Perikos now filled my mouth completely so I had to breathe through my nose. He didn't try to fuck it but instead kept me silent and full almost to bursting.

"Close your eyes, Little Shade,"I heard Perikos whisper in my ear. I wondered if Shadow could hear it too. "Imagine that we have had to flee this world in favor of your own. As darkness falls we emerge from inside you. We must feed and even though you are in a city, surrounded by strangers, you know your duty to us. Can you imagine all that?"

I was normally a skeptical person but as Perikos and Shadow drove their corkscrew tentacle into me again I decided I could suspend my disbelief. I tried to imagine the most public place I could think of: the mezzanine level of Fairfall Center. It was the largest shopping center in the Ferox System, all glass, titanium and right angles. The mezzanine level had all glass flooring and the raised glass dais reserved for buskers and special events was visible via closed circuit broadcast not only to the rest of the shopping center, but its courtyard and the square outside.

"There would be many people there,"Perikos said softly as he and Shadow pounded into my sopping pussy again and again.

People, mostly humans, but others as well, filled my mind's eye by the hundreds, maybe even the thousands. They dropped their parcels and stood stock still, all eyes on me like they were watching something simultaneously gruesome and fascinating.

In this scenario I wouldn't always be naked and so there would be a delay between Perikos and Shadow emerging from inside me and the moment they tore my clothes off. My audience didn't run, perhaps because I didn't. I dropped to my hands and knees like I was now and let them fill me up to the brim while what felt like the whole of Ferox 4 looked on.

"Can you see anyone you recognize?"Perikos asked. The image in my mind was so vivid, so stable that I couldn't help but wonder if Perikos helping me imagine it.

Even in my mind's eye, my mouth was stuffed full, so I didn't bother telling him that I recognized neighbors and schoolmates, old crushes and friends of the family. I saw the Governor, the loan officer that approved me and later testified against me and the judge who sentenced me. I even imagined I could see Mylon, which brought a funny jolt to my stomach. I knew he wasn't really near me and I felt odd for imagining him, incorporating my brother into such an odd sexual fantasy. In my mind he looked no less shocked or appalled than any of the others.