The Loner

I had a relatively normal childhood, but I also knew something was off about me. I knew that I didn't want to be a boy, but a girl, and preferred the company of the girls I went to school with over the boys and their silliness. I preferred playing dolls with my sister over playing with the cap guns I got for Christmas, or playing ball when my uncle came for a visit. I was worthless at sports, and nobody knew that better than my uncle, who tried playing catch with me with footballs then baseballs. Then he realized I wasn't a catcher, but maybe a hitter and brought a bat. Still, I was useless. He eventually gave up.

As puberty set in, my opinion of my body grew even less favorable. Depression set in and I started wearing nothing but black and grays. In an attempt to hide my body, I wore my shirts one size larger, often in layers. My favorite shirts hung low, covering the bulge in my pants. Still, I knew what I had downstairs and began avoiding looking at myself in the mirror. The boy's locker room was a nightmare, even worse when showering became mandatory. When I ventured into the showers, I caught more than a few glances at my cock, making me even more self-conscious.

I let my fingernails and hair grow out, protesting vehemently when my mother insisted I get a haircut, despite many boys in my school sporting long hair. I also started spending most of my time in my room, becoming increasingly shy around others, including my extended family. My grades started slipping as my depression became nearly debilitating. I dropped out of school, ran through several jobs at fast food restaurants. I was lonely, feeling isolated among the heterosexuals I daily came in contact with and had a hard time working with my coworkers.

Unable to find another job I was qualified to do that would give me my independence, my mother landed me a position as salesclerk with the chain of local liquor stores she worked at as a manager. Her boss was nice to me and sent me to work at one of his newer locations, out from under the thumb and watchful eye of my mother. I took to the job and the store's colorful characters quickly, memorizing what the regulars always bought so it was waiting for them when they entered. In six months, I was promoted to manager and given my own store, a little hole in the wall place with a regular clientele.

I found some rooms being rented in the rear of a house in a nice neighborhood, close to my work, and at a low price, all bills paid. My stepfather presented me with a mini fridge and a hot plate to use since there was no real kitchen, and I had to wash the dishes in the bathroom sink, but I was on my own, living by my own rules.

I went to work every morning, had some social interaction with my regular customers, and went home to masturbate to gay and straight porn. I liked the gay porn because the guys were hotter, but watched the straight porn to fantasize that I was being fucked by the straight guys.

One night, I went to a different adult bookstore to get my porn. The place was empty except for the clerk and a guy he was chatting with at the counter. They were both young and handsome, and I guessed they were probably college students at the nearby college. The clerk was a brunette with dark eyes, maybe of Italian descent, and his friend was a blue eyed blonde.

I wandered the shelves and collected a couple of videos and two big value packs of Playgirl that the store was trying to clear out. Nervously, I approached the counter to present my purchases. The guy at the store I usually went to never even seemed to notice what I purchased, obviously bored with his job and his life. But I didn't know how the new clerk would respond to my buying choices.

"That's a lot of porn," he remarked, sorting through it, "And it's all guys." He looked up at his blonde friend who started looking me over, his eyes sliding up and down my small frame. I started feeling a tremor run through me, uncertain if this was going to get ugly. I had not been fag bashed before, only teases and exaggerated flirts from guys in school, but I knew it happened, and I was terrified of it happening to me.

I looked around, to act as if it was no big deal while the clerk started ringing up my purchases. I noticed a display of large dildos behind the counter, purporting to be life-like replicas of porn star cocks. The clerk noticed my line of sight.

"Interested in one?" he asked with a smile.

"Oh, I doubt I could handle something like that."

"Sure, you can," he insisted, "Maybe you just need a demonstration. What do you think, Brad?"

"Oh, I think we can convince him," Brad answered, smiling at the clerk.

The clerk walked out from behind the counter and headed for the front door, locking it. As soon as he did, Brad started unfastening his jeans. I watched, shocked. Honestly, I didn't fully comprehend what was happening until he pulled his dick free. He was nicely hung, somewhere around seven inches, thicker at the base than at the head, his pubes were thin and dark blonde, a couple shades darker than his hair.

"Go ahead," he said encouragingly, "You know you want to."

At his invitation, I dropped to my knees, unable to believe that I was finally going to touch another man's dick, much less suck it. I grabbed it and stroked the soft skin that encased the hard shaft, then lowered my head onto the head of it. The taste of his flesh in my mouth was intoxicating, his crotch faintly smelling of male musk. I could feel my own dick grow hard as I lost my reasoning to lust.

I started taking more and more of his cock into my mouth wanting to take it all, cramming it into the back of my mouth, then into my throat. The clerk sidled up next to Brad and started unfastening his jeans, pulling out his cock to let it jut out in front of him as he waited his turn. I heard a noise and glanced up as I released Brad's cock to taste the clerk's. They were kissing, swapping tongues enthusiastically.

The clerk's cock was bigger than Brad's by a couple of inches. He was uncut, the skin a little darker than his blonde friend's cock. I pulled the foreskin back and forth over the head, fascinated. It was the first uncut cock I had ever seen. I stuck it in my mouth, then swirled my tongue around the inside of the foreskin, the way I had read about in the porn magazines I read. I took more of his cock into my mouth, feeling the foreskin slip on and off the head as I went down on him.

Brad moved away, leaving me to suck the clerk's cock, then pulled me up to my feet from behind. I looked at him questioningly, and he bent me over, pulling at my fly to get my pants off. Being self-conscious about my dick, this made me uncomfortable, but I quickly realized it wasn't my dick he was after.

"That's a good boy," he cooed to me, smearing something cold on my butt hole, then slipping a finger inside. "Oh, he's got a tight pussy. This may take some work."

The clerk stuck his cock back into my mouth, and I started playing with his ball sack, feeling the weight of his cum makers in my hand as I rolled them around on my fingertips, grazing them lightly with my nails. The clerk hissed at this and started fucking my face slowly.

Brad inserted a second finger into me, and I felt my sphincter stretch around his digits. He fucked my hole with his fingers a while, then withdrew. Next thing I know, he's pushing the head of his dick against it, then into it. A surge of pain stabbed at my gut, but soon faded as he slid his cock into my chute. He started fucking me, and I moaned around the clerk's cock as his pumping action did things to me I had only imagined, but not nearly as accurately as the real thing.

I was suspended between them, one cock up my ass and another in my mouth, pressing into my throat. I tried to take the clerk's long, thick cock deeper as he held my head in his hands and thrust. My throat stretched around his cock as he slipped down my throat. I was pleased with myself for not gagging on it. Breathing was difficult at first, but I soon learned to take in oxygen when I had the chance, when he let me, which had an effect on my brain that put me in a state of altered consciousness, my mind emptying of every thought but what was happening in the moment as I was being fucked at both ends.

Brad began increasing his strokes, fucking me hard as he neared his orgasm. With a final thrust, he emptied himself in me, holding still as his balls pumped his load into my guts. He pulled out almost immediately, and the clerk did as well, moving behind me to take Brad's place. I watched as Brad handed the clerk some lube, which he used to slick up his big dick. The clerk pushed me forward and slipped inside me, my sphincter stretching again around his girth, but didn't hurt like it did the first time.

He started fucking me right away, pulling me upright against his body, pinning my arms to my sides with his. He fed his cock to my ass in short thrusts, keeping his cock buried deep inside me. Brad slid down in front of me on his knees. I looked down at him, uncomfortable with his looking at my dick.

"Damn, he's got a big dick!" he exclaimed. Something about his acknowledging I had a big dick set me at ease. I knew I was well hung, but I was so deep in my belief that guys would only want to use my ass that I never though of it as useful, except when masturbating.

There was a long string of precum hanging off the head of my dick. I watched as Brad extended his tongue and caught the end of it, gathering it on his tongue as he rose to meet my hard cock. He took the head into his mouth and started sucking me off. Not that he needed to. I was already riding a wave of euphoria, certain I was close to climaxing on my own. His cock had already done a number on my prostate, now punctuated by the clerk's short strokes vigorously stimulating my love button.

The feeling of his warm mouth wrapped snugly around my cock head, his tongue digging into my piss slit for more precum, almost sent me over the edge. His lips slid down my shaft, taking a good portion of it into his mouth and stroked back up. I moaned loudly, he slid back down on me. It only took a few strokes of his lips and warm mouth to bring me to a hard orgasm, not even long enough to fully appreciate the blow. I shuddered under the rush that left me weak in the knees, my body now supported by the clerk's arms around me as my cock erupted into Brad's mouth. The clerk rammed into me hard a few times, then came inside me, mixing his cum with his buddy's. Brad swallowed my spunk, the softly sucked my dick a while longer.

"He's a gusher," he told the clerk as he rose to his feet, wiping his mouth across his bare forearm. The clerk let me go and pulled his dick from my ass slowly. Brad moved in for a deep kiss, and I could taste my cum on his tongue. "Next time, you fuck me," Brad smiled, taking a marker to write his number on the cellophane jacket of one of the value packs. We all got dressed and the clerk unlocked the door, returning behind the counter.

"So, did you want one of the dildos?" the clerk asked, reaching for one about his size, "This is a big seller."

"I'll take it," I told him shakily, pulling out my wallet.

With my purchases in hand, I left the store and went back to my rooms, where carefully copied Brad's number and put it in a safe place. I wasn't sure if I'd call him, much less fuck him, but I cherished the fact that he wanted a repeat performance one on one.

Sexually satisfied, I collapsed on my bed and fell asleep, replaying my first sexual experience in my head as I drifted away from reality.