The Memoirs Of A Young Victorian Lady

The breeding pen was where a mare was placed when it was decided to breed her to a particular stallion. This was not allowed to be done haphazardly, but was followed quite closely, to develop specific bloodlines for instance, and required considerable care in the selection of the proper pair. At present, the mare was already in the pen, tied by her halter to a bar, and a young man called Little David from his stature (or lack of it, actually!) was leading a stallion into the stall. The stallion seemed to understand precisely what was about to occur and seemed rather anxious to begin, sporting an incredible tumescence. Maude, one of the house servants, was standing next to a bale of hay, watching the proceedings.

Once locked in the stall, the stallion rapidly got down to business, and as Siobhan and I spied on him, reared up and mounted the mare, burying himself, a most lengthy process. Then we stared goggle-eyed as Little David came up behind Maude. Undoing his own pants, he lifted her skirt to her waist and leaned her over the bale of hay, to repeat the act being performed before them. Both mares squealed with delight, and both stallions bucked and snorted their pleasure as well. Finally, when the stallion finished with his duty, he climbed off and watched Little David and Maude finishing theirs. Afterwards, Little David returned the stallion to the pasture and Maude returned to the mansion. My most coherent memory of the entire affair was that Little David was misnamed; Goliath would have been more appropriate, since his manhood was quite probably the largest I have ever seen! It was certainly the largest I had seen to that time, admittedly a very small number, but in hindsight I must stand by that statement, and as I write this memoir, I must say that I have since seen more than a few.

Both Siobhan and I crept away, to return to the other end of the hayloft, whereupon we lay down on a few coarse horse blankets to discuss these amazing scenes. The kitten followed us and curled up between us to sleep, and we discussed the amazingly debauched household we found ourselves in. She admitted that she had done all that we had seen with her own husband.

"That raises a question, Mrs. Rourke. Where might Mister Rourke be?", I asked.

Siobhan looked startled, then grinned. "Oh, he's in Boston, but I fear he is quite busy pushing up daisies." At my curious look, she continued, "He's been dead these several years, Caroline. I am a widow."

I apologized profusely, which she waved off as unnecessary. "I am curious.", I admitted. "You are not many years older than I, so how can you be a widow several years."

"Well, you see, I married when I was your age, at sixteen, but within our first year found myself widowed. Michael died nigh on four years ago, so the pain is gone, but not the memories, and they were sweet memories indeed."

"Go on. I am all ears.", I urged.

"Well, just in case you haven't learned by now, I grew up in Boston, in a large Catholic family. Michael was my second cousin and a good six years older. I have to admit that when I was little, he was the most cruel and terrible tease, but then, when I was nine, his family moved across the country to California. I did not see him again for another six years. At that time he was twenty-one and about to enter his last year at the Rensselaer school."

"The what school?", I asked.

"The Rensselaer school. It is an engineering college, quite prestigious despite the ridiculous name. In fact, you rode by it on your trip here, it is only fifty or sixty miles south of here, near Albany. But anyway, he was visiting the family in Boston for a few days when we met again. I think it was love at first sight! He was no longer the snotty brat I remembered, and I was in my bloom, if I do say so myself. We wrote each other constantly, several times a day, and he found a position in Boston after he matriculated, at an engineering firm that built bridges. As soon as he came to town he asked my father for my hand, and we were married that summer. I was only sixteen, but my family knew Michael to be a good man with a fine position. We had a most glorious, if brief, marriage, although it got off to a most terrible start."

"Really? How so?", I asked.

"It was my mother's fault, really. I grew up in a very conservative household, and a very large family if you count cousins and all, but I was practically the only girl in the bunch! I had five brothers, and the only other girls in the family were a pair of twin newborn cousins! Momma was extremely religious, and marital relations were quite indistinguishable to her from the most sordid work of the devil. I led an extremely protected life. She never let me out of the house unattended, even when Michael was courting me, and she filled my head with the most terrible notions of what was to be expected of me by my husband.", admitted Siobhan.

"That doesn't make a lot of sense, Siobhan. I mean, how did you and your brothers get here, if she didn't take an active part?"

Siobhan grinned and shook her head. "That is because she played a most inactive part. On my wedding night, she advised me to lie back, grit my teeth, close my eyes, and repeat the rosary to myself while my husband had his dastardly way with me. It was a mortal sin to do anything more, and even that little would be sinful if it were not my husband's marital right to force himself upon me. She had me so scared that I almost called off the wedding."

"But you went through with it anyway.", I stated.

She laughed. "Good heavens, child, I had to! People had shown up from all across the country, my father would have killed me!"

"So what happened? I gather you discovered your mother was wrong?"

"Eventually. I was quite terrified that immediately following the ceremony, Michael was going to tear my wedding gown from me and ravish me on the altar. When that failed to happen, I relaxed somewhat until later that evening, when he loaded me into a carriage and drove us to a small house owned by a friend. The friend had agreed to lend us the house for a few days, until we could move my belongings into Michael's. As he carried me across the threshold I burst into tears at my imminent ruin."

Siobhan laughed quietly as she remembered her not so distant past. "Needless to say, my husband failed to ravish me on the floor of the foyer. At nine or so, we retired to our bedchamber, and I put on my new white nightshirt, and Michael removed his boots and shirt and settled into bed next to me. I was already cowering under the covers, and promptly burst into unbearable tears." She sat up and looked at me intensely, her movements causing the kitten to wake and wander off. "To this day I bless Michael for treating me so gently that night. If he had simply taken his pleasure upon me, I have no doubt I would have ended as bitter as my mother. Instead he took hours talking to me, calming me, professing his love for me. It was ridiculous. First he had to talk me into pulling the quilt down, then the sheet, then into removing my nightshirt, and then finally into uncurling and laying back. At every step, I would comply, then begin crying again! It was utterly pathetic!"

"Well, then what?", I pressed.

"Well, then he touched me, and my tears turned instantly into tears of joy! It was as if a bolt of lightning had struck me and burned clear to my soul! My very flesh pulsed as he moved his hands over me, and I gasped and cried out my love for him as I grasped his body to mine. As soon as we had finished one course, I would begin begging for another, and we didn't fall asleep until well after dawn. It was glorious!", she exclaimed, sinking back on the blankets in happy reverie.

"Oh my heavens!", I exclaimed. "Your husband must have thought you perfectly mad!"

"Oh, he did, he did, but once I knew just how wrong my mother was, I was able to demonstrate my affections quite convincingly."

"Did it hurt that first time? I know it did with me.", I said.

"What, your first time! I thought you had never been with a man. Or have you?", she asked, gaping across at me.

I blushed. "I have not. It was a hairbrush, and it stung terribly."

Siobhan snorted and laughed. "Well, then you should have waited for the real thing. It is a considerable improvement."

"So the two of you were able to overcome your mother's warnings to you?"

"Oh, my, yes! To be honest, I was not Michael's first woman, I mean how could I have been? He was twenty-two, and had been away to college and all, but he proved an excellent instructor, and I tried to be the best pupil possible. He was most insistent on having his husbandly way with me, and I was equally insistent that he do so! He did things with me, and showed me things to do to him, that made what we witnessed earlier seem common and cheap."

"Such as?" I was fascinated.

"Well, you do understand that there exist more than one orifice in a woman's body suitable for the entrance of a man, don't you?"

"Indeed, I have even witnessed such!"

"Really, you shall tell me all shortly. In any event, they are all pleasurable. Further, what we saw that young girl doing to the blacksmith? A man can do the same to a woman, and they can even do them at the same time! Hardly a day would pass that my husband would not return home and take me immediately upon his arrival. He preferred me to meet him in the parlor, wearing nothing but my stockings, to slake his manly thirsts. Afterwards, I would dress as if for bed, and serve him supper, than he would make of me a dessert, and we would frolic until bedtime, at which time we would retire for a final passage and then sleep blissfully, naked in each other's arms. Good heavens but it was wonderful!"

"It sounds delicious!", I admitted.

"Oh, it was. Michael was the most wicked man, wickedly delicious, that is. He forced me to dress most immoderately, and not just at home, although very little force was needed."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, I have mentioned how at home I wore nothing but my underthings. Whenever we went out together, to a restaurant or a party, he would allow me only to wear a dress and my stockings, and nothing else. Then, whenever we were at all alone, he would force his attentions on me in the most shocking ways, lifting my skirts to fondle me in the most intimate of fashions! Often, when we had left to go home, he would have the hansom driver take a longer way home, or simply drive around, while he laid me naked in the coach and had his way upon my body.", said Siobhan.

"So, how did he die?", I asked.

Siobhan waved the question off. "Later, later. Now you must tell me how you came to witness the methods with which a man and a woman may find pleasure of each other. Come, tell me all. Who did you watch, your parents, perhaps?"

"Precisely so.", I admitted.

"So tell me, what were they like? Your father you have said was an officer, but that is all I know. Do you take after either of them?", she pressed.

I laughed. "Well, not my father, that is for sure. He was almost ten years older than my mother, and was forty-two when they passed. He was of an average height and build, somewhat shorter and stockier than Uncle James, I should say, with the most amazing muttonchops and mustache! On the other hand, I have been told many times that I am the spitting image of my mother, except for the fact that I am almost a half foot shorter than she was. Papa oft joked that Mama must of had outside help , after which Mama would squawk and hit him with the nearest item to hand. Papa would let her connect with the first blow, then wrap her in his embrace and buss her with great laughter."

"They sound most affectionate.", commented Siobhan.

"Indeed they were, most affectionate and attentive to each other's needs. There was a brief period even when I felt a certain jealousy towards them both, until I could understand that their love for each other, in all its varied forms, did not mean they cared for me the less. Whenever I was home, I often would hear their bedsprings squeaking as they expressed their affections in the most intimate of fashions.", I said.

"So, when and in what manner did you witness these affections?", my friend pressed.

"It was my thirteenth birthday. They had taken me out of school for a few days of holiday, and I was rather excited by it all and could not sleep. They had sent me to bed, but I was so excited I wished to stay up longer, so I left my room and went down the hall, to attempt to sneak back downstairs for a bit. However, I was need be detained on the steps, as both Mama and Papa were sitting on the divan, sipping tea and reading the Times. I waited for them to leave, so I could continue my sneak, but events grew out of my control. After they had finished their tea, Papa tossed aside his newspaper and moved closer to Mama, placing one of his hands on her skirt and gently tugging it upwards. Mama let out a squeal of impropriety but laid down her paper as well, and embraced him as he slid his hand under her skirt and between her legs. After only a few brief moments more, I saw Papa pulling Mama's bloomers from under her dress, then he pushed her back onto the divan and moved atop her. Mama was cooperating wholeheartedly, helping my father remove his tunic and braces, and undoing his breeches, then she spread her legs wide as he raised her skirt to her waist and took her there on the divan. I remember thinking how Mama was failing to obey Queen Victoria's admonition for a woman to lie back, close her eyes, and think of England! How treasonous! It was very interesting to watch as she wrapped her arms and legs around him, crying gently, 'Fuck me, Thomas, fuck me!' It was over much too soon for my tastes." I remembered the episode well, as it was my last vacation with my parents; the typhus would kill them only a few weeks hence.

"I would have preferred that type of explanation to the one provided by mother.", said Siobhan.

"Quite so. It was obvious that if my mother, a fine and God-fearing woman and mother, could enjoy herself so, then perhaps the Queen was mistaken, treason though that be. Afterwards they cuddled on the divan for a while longer, then Mama said that perhaps they should go to their room to continue. I almost bolted at this, but Papa demurred, stating he felt like another course, right then and there, and insisted that Mama relieve him of his needs. With that, he began to remove Mama's clothing from her, and although Mama asked if I might not wake, he persisted and very soon had my mother's dress and corset laying on the floor. With that, he laid back and positioned my mother as he desired, with her face in his lap. From my vantage point it was perfectly clear what she was performing, and Papa was highly pleased with that performance."

"How large was your father?", asked Siobhan. At my confused look, she elaborated, "As compared to the specimens we witnessed earlier today, for example?"

"Oh, well, I can not be entirely sure. It was, after all, several years past, and I had no standard of comparison, but he seemed more than adequately endowed to gratify my mother's passions. In this second course, he had her satisfy his need with her lips and tongue, taking him into her mouth in his entirety, except for a brief spell, where she knelt between his legs and buried his manhood in the valley of her bosom." I reenacted this part by pressing my own boobies together from the sides, through my dress. "Then she returned to her oral ministrations and allowed his release, swallowing his spendings."

"That sounds so much like Michael and me, it gives me shivers.", said Siobhan.

"Yes, but they were not finished yet! While Mama tended to Papa in this manner, Papa finished removing his own clothing. Then he drew her into his lap, and told her he would cause her to spend, while he renewed his strength. After this statement, he devoted his touches and kisses to her naked form, concentrating muchly on her own boobies and quim. Mama gasped and shook so I feared she was having a fit, but I was mistaken, for when his manhood stood proud again, she stopped him, and after embracing him, knelt on the carpet. Papa knelt behind her and entered her from behind, as we saw Little David and Maude doing earlier today, but then the most astonishing event occurred. Papa reared back, and as Mama reached back to spread her arse, Papa pushed himself inside her arse! Mama squealed with delight as Papa ravished her backside with vigor and energy, and he spent himself in her nether orifice, collapsing atop her as she gasped out her own spending. It was at this point I returned to my own bed."

"What an amazing lesson you learned at such an early age!"

"Quite. I have since come to the conclusion that when I do marry, my relations with my husband promise to be most pleasant, and I look forward to them eagerly. Mrs. Pembleton, the headmistress at my school, told us, if somewhat indirectly, that she and her husband enjoyed their relations as often as practicable, and you also say as much, so I have great hopes for my wedded bliss!"

"You shall, you shall!" Siobhan and I embraced at the thought. It was a lengthy embrace, and I briefly wondered if she had a different type of embrace planned. I considered it one thing to enter into a dalliance with the hired help, but something quite different to do so with a friend, and was relieved when she pulled away.

"So, how came you to be widowed, and what did you do thereafter?", I asked.

"The first question is simple. There was an accident at a bridge Michael was building, and he and two workmen plummeted to their deaths. Fortunately, Michael had left me well able to survive on my own. His own parents had died, leaving him a reasonable inheritance, and he had some insurance and savings as well. Despite my parent's insistence that I return home, I refused, preferring my independence. Then, I learned the most amazing thing."

"What was that?", I asked.

"Well, by the time my year of mourning was up, I had been an entire year without the touch of a man's body, and I was feeling most deprived, yet I felt no impulse to wed again for such a purpose. During my mourning, several of Michael's friends had approached me with offers of companionship, and I realized that wedded bliss did not necessarily require the wedding. With the proper care and discretion, it is quite easy to manage such events, and I partook of them gladly. I also confirmed that my love for Michael had been true, as I felt little for these dalliances beyond the pleasures they provided me.", she admitted.

"You would be surprised, but I feel as if I can understand you completely. It is similar to the trysts I engaged in with the girls at Mrs. Pembleton's school, in that I knew that while extremely enjoyable, they would never satisfy my desire for a loving and affectionate husband. So what did you do when you were not engaging in these pleasures?", I asked.

"Well, Michael's funds were sufficient to pay for the house and the upkeep thereof, but he had always cautioned me of the difference between capital and principle, and of the danger of spending capital. I soon found myself as a nanny and governess to young children, which I continued until I came here. I fear that you have little need of either, but your Uncle's offer was most suitable to me. My last position was rather strange."

"How so?"

"Well, I was attached to the household of a fairly wealthy banker in Boston. He had both a large family and a large staff, and was quite active in obeying the Biblical command to be fruitful and multiply with both!"

"What! You must explain!", I demanded.

"It is hard to do so, since I little understand it myself. He was quite active in his pursuit of the maids and cooks, with considerable success I might add, and even added me to his harem. I at first thought that he made such pursuits since his wife was an absolute harridan and battleaxe, with a face and figure suitable for your Uncle's pastures, but this was not so, since their own relations were equally frequent. They had eight children already, and she was in a family way again when I began my employ! His success with the women on the staff was a match for this, since his wife was frequently sacking a cook or maid who showed the signs of incipient childbirth. As it was, she managed to walk in on her husband and I, and I was let go on the spot!", said Siobhan.