by Lien_Geller
As always, the sex is fantastic (and copious), and the world-building is actually fairly interesting. But plotwise this feels like yet another beta-male power fantasy. It's just not interesting to have a protagonist who is automatically great at everything and easily gets whatever he wants. Granted, I think you might be going somewhere with this, but it gets a little monotonous, I think you're a really good writer, and this is still a pretty fun romp, but it's disappointing to see such a simplistic plot. I hope this review doesn't come off as too negative -- I'm only offering it as a counter to all of the gushing on here.
Please, write part 3 as early as possible.
I loved this story SO much, thank you!
while I have little experience as an editor, and nothing to link here, I would be honored if i could help you finish the next installment for this series. Actually, that's the whole reason I registered here!
Look forward to hearing from you or, failing that, reading the next chapter! (i'm in the volunteer editors area somewhere, or PM me or whatever)
I wonder if the "Dragon-fire" ring has anything to do with Greg's dragon sketch. You said that Greg had the 'feeling' that a dragon was supposed to be in the area where he found the ring, so maybe you could do a Lord of the Rings theme.
i have been a member of this stie for several years now and this is the first time a story has ever made me want to post a comment. usualy i just log on for a quick jerk and then thats it but i read this one all the way through unable to stop untill it was finished. i write books for a liveing and if you still need someone to edit your work i would be happy to assist.
This story just blew me away. I read the first part twice and hoped you would write a second. This is just amazing and can't wait to read the third.
This just gets better and better. I cannot wait for the rest of this series, keep up the fantastic work.
This story is awesome! Can't wait to read the next chapter, and if it turns into a book I would definitely buy it :D
A very good story, set in a fleshed out and believable world, I enjoyed both parts very much, and am eagerly awaiting the third.
I really like the first two parts and am looking forward to more. I hope that the story will include more races with their culture and how they fit in the world. Please take you time and let the characters write them selves naturally so the story writes it's self.
AMAZING stories. I just finished reading both back to back. I registered just so I could tell you how good they are. 5 stars isn't enough.Great job and I really hope you make more.
MORE!!!!!!!. Very good. i enjoyed both installments. 5 Stars.
I've really enjoyed these two chapters and eagerly await the third installment. Hopefully we can finally read about the dragons and maybe read about Greg taking a humanoid dragon-woman to bed :).
I love this story truly. So do us all a favor and get with the next chapter. The suspense is killing me. I honestly can't wait to see what new creature he ends up having sex with and what cool destiny he has in that world. So pull your head out your ass and get a move on lol. I told my friend my brother and father and they are loving the story as well we want more come on get with the program. Just keep going the way you are and this could actually even be made into a book. I'm not being mean I'm just being real here lol.
The journey this story is, and has taken has truly been fun. I do not know the last story that I kept checking back for so that I could read the next part. I am very impressed with your writing ability and agree with one of the other commenters when it was said that he would pay money to read these stories.... Hell yeah I would. Please do not stop writing. It is hard to find stories that span so many different types of creatures and I think you have included them well. Add some more "races" and keep the story going. I am very interested to see where we are going to journey to next. KEEP WRITING.
Raiden
Effectively one of the best fantasy stories i have ever had the pleasure of reading. Not to mention that it is fantastically erotic. Keep up the good work. Btw i know all of the other readers are going to hate me for saying this, but i would be only too happy to pay money for this level of quality writing.
This is such a great story simply because its got two part, its got the awesome adventure, and then its got the sex :D. Most stories fail in this respect because its all about the sex, and soon you get tired of reading them. But this story has an engaging tale which you just have to read more of. The sex is just a perfect bonus :D
Can't wait for chapter three ;3, keep up the awesome writing...
Wolf_Soldier
Okay, after your ego sucks up all the accolades, we all would appreciate you getting back to writing more... OBTW: have you met Odin?
Someone else said it already, this is the best fantasy story I've ever read!
Action, adventure, imagination, sex, sex and even more red-hot sex are a really good combination!!! Please, please write a Part 3, then a Part 4, then 5, 6, 7 8 9, 10 11 ... etc. I, for one, would be happy to read this story until the end of time.
Thank you most sincerely for sharing this with us, it's a great present...
THIS IS TRULY NOT MIDDLE EARTH. I ENJOYED THE STORY AND THE CARICATURES WERE SET UP WELL. I WILL BE WAITING TO READ THE NEXT CHAPTER, THANK YOU FOR SHARING.
IT APPEARS THAT THE "LOST DRAGON" AND "THE MISSING DRAGON " ARE
THE SAME STORY.
C.R. CRIBBS
AUBURN, CALIFORNIA
This is literally the BEST fantasy story I have ever read. Undoubtedly there are others that are as good, and some that are "technically" better written, but this theme and ideas in this story really make me think this is perfection.
PLEASE keep them coming!!! I absolutely love this story.
Sexy and well-written with an interesting and compelling storyline! I can't wait for the next installment. Keep up the great work!
Well I've never commented on one of these stories before... but hey there's a 1st for everything!
Anyways, I have to say that this was a very well written story and I'm looking forward to reading more! It has enough story to really keep it interesting as something I'd want to read as a long term story not just a "I'm board and horny" kinda thing.
Also as for your grammar and spelling, well I'm not that good at it but I only noticed one thing and that was more really a wording choice than having something incorrect. Sadly I can't remember where it was so I can't point it out to you. However, I can tell you what it was so you're aware!
It was the use of the word "suddenly." I know that sounds nit picky and hardly helpful but hey... it was the only thing I noticed! And when it comes down to it "suddenly" it is one of the weaker word choices available. But it's not something major you need to worry about. ^.^
Cant wait for the next installment. I really enjoyed this and therefore my boyfriend enjoyed it too ;p (or at least got to reap the benefits of me reading it)
DAMN I wanna read more of this!
I mean, seriously, before this, this was my line of thought: "Orcs are ugly as hell. Gender does not matter."
Now? *walks into strippers-r-us* "One orc girl please."
THIS STORY IS GREAT , PLEASE GIMMY MORE THE ACTION AND SISPENCE (SORRY ABOUT SPELLING ) , DON'T END IT LIKE MANY OTHER WRITERS ON THIS SIDE , LEAVING YOU IN MID AIR , YOUR WRITING IS GREAT PLEASE FINISH .
THANKS
This is an amazing story. (was really happy when freddie got what was coming to him)
I can wait so just keep feeding out the awesome and I'll definitely keep reading it!!
I'm going to keep going! The next chapter is about 1/4 of the way through and it's probably going to be a bit longer. It might even be twice as long as Ch. 2 and I'll put it out in two parts but I won't be doing that until I've finished it to where I want to be. I appreciate the interest but I promise, if I ever give up on a story then I'll post up an edit to say its dead and update my author page. Until then, please bear with me. I should have another story coming out for the Halloween contest and then after that I'm going back to writing The Missing Dragon. It's at least going to be a few months before it's ready. I apologize for being so slow but I can't be any more accurate than that.
This is some awesome work. I'd hate to wait much longer lol!
GREAT WRITING! DO WE NEED TO WAIT ANOTHER 9 MONTHS FOR ANOTHER CHAPTER?
I have spent the last 2 years on this site, reading a vast assortment of tales. None of them have captivated my interest quite like this one. I've never bothered to comment before, but this story is of a caliber that makes me want to break my silence and say something. Please, if you are still writing on this site, continue this story.
You are doing great with this story. I love the way that its got so much detail. You are not rushing it along and thats wonderful. I love this story so much I told my friends and they love it as well. We look forward to your next chapter please keep up the wonderful work.
P.S Dont rush your work that's how writers mess up.
This Story was captivating begining to the end i hope you continue i really want you to im on the edge of my seat anticapting another chapter of this story it is an amazing plot and the erotic parts are breath taking
This story is fantastic and has so much potential. I could not stop reading. The erotiv parts are very arousing and the storyline progresses nicely albiet a little slow. One of the best fantasy stories I've read on this site. I am eagerly anticipating the next chapter.
Absolutely love it. Please don't take forever between chapters like it took for aphrodisia. The more the better too.
Can't wait for more! Hopefully some anal scenes to switch things up? :P
God danm that was impressive, but fuck it was what? 6 months before chapter 2 came out after chapter 1? I can't fucking wait that long man. I really hope it comes out sooner....but anyway this chapter was really something else. Feels like Greg just fucks anything with a pussy. Kind of annoying, but whatever. Really impressed with the story telling and the ending. Finally that dickweed died. Thank god.
More soon i hope. Still would like to here more about pugward also thanks for sharing
Awesome piece of work mate..as great as the first one. Hoping to see your next chapter soon. You got some real talent, 5 stars all the way.
Cheers.
I look forward to more of this story if you continue with it. However I find that so much sex gets in the way of a great story. Moderation would be a good thing now that Greg has proven himself to be the super stud he is.
I went along with a lot of little bits of fiction, such as how in the world the quite shy kid turned into such a lethal weapon, able to leap tall buildings etc, etc. But when Freddie was able to get loose of his chains and manacles that the Orcs had secured him with, I had to say "what the F just happened"? Maybe if Greg had been thinking more with his big head instead of his little head so often, he wouldn't have let the ring get away from him. Anyway thanks for a good story and hope to see a chapter 3.
you should add more scenes with Talina and Greg. awesome stories though dude'
THIS STORY IS AMAZING. THE PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION OF ALGRA & JANETTE IS TRULY HOT. NEVER THOUGHT ORCS COULD BE SO DAMN HOT ESPECIALLY AFTER WATCHING "THE LORD OF THE RINGS"..
JUST FINISHED READING CH. 02 EAGERLY WAITING FOR CH. 03..
U TRULY ROCK!!!!!!
omg i love this so much. Your way of writing is wonderful, and i can't wait to read more. Please hurry, i wish to know what the ring actually is. All we know is Algra said "Dragon Fire." so i wonder what that's about. Can he maybe become a dragon? is that why the ring does not harm him, even tho he didn't slip it on. And if it incinerated Freddie why didn't it harm Jan? oh so many questions!
im eagerly awaiting an update....the writing is phenomenal and the story very engaging.
On top of a comment I previously left, regarding the incredible quality of your writing and storytelling ability, I actually find myself skipping some of the sex scenes..not because they are not incredibly hot, which they always are, but because I am so drawn into the story itself. Amazing, thank you.
As with the first part, a truly amazing story. If you don't already, you could easily make money with the quality of your writing. This is one of the best stories I have read, including novels by an array of authors. Please continue this adventure, it's exhilarating.
I love your descriptions of your characters. Algra is an amazing one of a kind!
I think you are doing great with this story. I'm a big fantasy book fan and if you make a book is this I would definitely buy it. Hell I would buy 3 copies of it and give 1 to my father and keep the other 2 for my self. I know he would love it as much as I did. You should keep going I'm telling you.
Between this story and so many other 'nonhuman' ones -- there is no "true mate" stuff, and, while those generally seem to make nice stories, a change of pace is refreshing... in this case, VERY refreshing... if you know what I mean ;P.
Now if only we can get the time between chapters down to a few months maximum...
If you wrote enough of this to be published, I would definitely buy it. It kind of reminds me of the Bengal Station trilogy, except that yours is hotter, written better, funnier, and now the biggest asshole it had is dead. Nice touch ther by the way -- perfect cliffhanger.
Great installment! Sex was super abundant but yet did not detract from the story. I love and hate the ending of the chapther. Now I am can hardly wait for ch.3!!!! Outstanding job!
Is that the moments of humor don't seem at all forced; on the contrary, they seem natural and flowing.
(Me as I'm reading up to page 7)
God, I don't think it's possible for this to get any better -- (reads the description of a catgirl)... ... ... ... Holy fuck. I'm inventing a device that will allow me to literally experience a story for myself. And this will be the first story.
you sir have a talent for writing erotica. i'd very much like to see more of this particular story in the future. and do the poor bastard toren a favor and let him get his nut off
You have a talent for writing, Lien_Geller. And I thank you for sharing that talent.
Great story, I really liked it.
The only criticism I have is sort of a pet peeve of mine, which is explanation. The whole "geek nobody turns invincible" is a good plot-basis, but I'd like it if you could look back into Greg's and possibly Janette's pasts to explain why he was such a loner/outcast before. That's all from me, everything else is great.
A fun story, though I must admit that I find myself skimming through some of the sex scenes. They're well enough written, but it's clear what's going to happen. The story is often more interesting, simply because we don't know where it's going next. Keep up the good work; I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
An extremely creative and erotic story. Can't wait for the next chapter.
Very creative, sweet, innocent, and yet sensual and seductive.
Sorry, no complaints or constructive criticisms here.
Hmm. OK, maybe one thing, and this is really slight. Looking over at the tags on the right here, maybe we could do a little something about that. I don't think I would be searching for "stream" sex. Maybe throw in "harem" as a tag on the next one? Not in the strictest harem girl sense, but in the sense of the guy gets a bunch of girls kind of thing. "magic"? I would love to see a tag for "sweet" or "heart", when a story has those attributes. This isn't a dark one.
this was the best story i have ever read (excepting chapter one of course ;) ) u do not need an editor, what u need is to continue this story as far as u can
KEEP WRITING please
a new fan
Lady,
You just gave me an awesome 10 pages. Brilliant writing, great plot and awesome sex. Eagerly waiting for chapter 3. And you don't need an editor. You did brilliantly all by yourself.
You are phenomenal. I only wish there was the potentiality of giving you 10 stars instead of a paltry 5. You don't need an editor. I don't think I found a thing about the story that I would want changed. Please keep writing. Please, please, please.
Never mind that this is on for free, this story would sell in the best bookshops!
Good writing, engaging story, characters you can like, love (or hate)
Thank-you
I have read both your stories within the past 24 hours. The storyline itself was excellent enought to make me wish to continue without stopping. But the sensuality and provocative nature of the story wore me down, so I of course gave myself a pause to recover before continuing. Awsome; culture, characters, personalities, detail, and a world thirsting to be weaved in greater detail. Each enviroment slowly came to life in my mind as I read, only adding even greater value to the moments of intimacy. I look forward to seeing future installments. Just don't burn out your loins in the process.
Ever since the start this story has been amazing and unique in its own way, and all the characters are always interesting.
I truly hope you continue this story, i would love to see where this world takes Gregory.
Ps. I like how you made him part Greek and part English because my nationality is the same. lol
you have got to write more i cant wait for the next instalment
Please! Don't leave us hanging! Great story, can't wait to see what's going to happen next.
Truly a great story. Great mix of sex and story, please give us more!
Alright, the sex scenes are tantalizing, but the underlying story is far more engaging. I'm curious to see where the Orc culture further evolves and see how Greg fully develops. Please continue this story, if it were a complete novel I would purchase it just to see where your narative leads. I am engrossed in this story, not the just the lewd scenes but the overall story. I feel a wealth of possibilities in development for the characters and would love to see where you want to take them. So please, keep the story telling going. I submit this as I suddenly realize I have never created an account to show appreciation for the inventiveness of the various authors I've read. Sincere appreciation, please continue this story.
Am now a fan of all ur submissions..still waitin 4d continuation of all ur other submissions and please, please, please don't let us wait 2long 4d 3ed installment of dis story..........TANX 4BEIN A WRITER
Wonderful!!!! You must continue to write. You have a superb gift for words!
awesome.........................................
Dude congratulations on being a writer! This is truly good stuff.
Please for the love of god, do not quit this story halfway though. i've read to many good stories where the author vanishes halfway into a great story and is never heard from agin, and i would be crushed if this ended up like that, so please for all that is good and holy, do not give up on this story no matter what.
A Dedicated Reader,
Harry
It's been so long that I thought you gave up on us :(
Welcome back, we sincerely missed you. :D
Amazing update by the way. I always look forward to your stories, keep em coming!
I read the first one with ravenous eyes and mind, and honestly thought it could stand on its own without a sequel and be a superb example of what Science Fiction & Fantasy should be like. But then I checked and saw that you had another one, and it was as if all of my luck had decided to cash in all at once.
Please, don't let us wait so long in between the next installment.
Great story that stands on it's own even without much of the erotica which is not true of much here on Literotica. I'm eager awaiting more chapters.
Pleas keep this going!
Thanks!
Alright then, you crazy diamonds. I'm just zipping in here because I'm getting a lot of comments of "less sex, more story." This seems to be one of those complaints that I'm actually gonna mark up there as a compliment because it seems to mean that many of y'all are actually interested in the story.
The reason I started posting stories in the first place was practice for writing more mainstream sci-fi/fantasy. I wanted to make sure my talkin' wordz made sense. This chapter is not really about advancing plot so much as it is about introducing characters and world-building. Oh, and sex. Hopefully this will be a long story. Some chapters will be slower than others. I know it's a pain in the ass because of the long waits but I thank you for your patience.
I will say that the next chapter is far more plot-heavy and I'm not sure how long it'll take (but it could be very long, so bear with me). In any case, I hope this addresses some of your fears about what went on here.
Oh, and for those of you desperate to find out what happens? Well, Gregory finds a dragon and it bites his head off.
The End.
;o)
The only thing that I change would be putting more plot and story in rather then roughly 80% sex, maybe something like a 50/50 at least? I'm not real sure of ratio, but I do know that only getting tiny snippets of the story is maddening. chuckles.
This is a very well written story and I can't wait for the next chapter.
I've read and re-read this story, its amazing. I only have to ask, are you working on another? Its been a month so far :P
Can't wait for the next installment XD He's fucking awesome!