The Moray Eel: The Hard Way Back

When it was lunch time Madi smoked a cigarettes and had one of the largest glass of whisky she had ever drank. As a lunch she had a feast of the greasiest and saltiest junk food she could find in her fridge. After the meal she had her usual glass of alcohol and a cigarette.

- Who would have thought that I would be sad to even considering stopping doing that? Not me. Your choice is made fat ass, now do what you have to do!

Madeline put in her car all the food she could found in her home and the cigarettes too. She drove to the local food bank and gave the food. The cigarettes were given to homeless people who were hanging in the city center.

Back at home she collected all her alcohol and methodically emptied one bottle after the other in toilets bowl. When done she left to buy the finest organic products possible. It was a very busy afternoon, so busy that when all was done she was tired and heavily sweating. Her stomach was growling and she felt nervous.

- Already hungry and craving for alcohol and cigarette. What the fuck did I do?

She was almost in tears.

- Calm down fat ass. Work and discipline. Work and discipline! As long as you remember that you can do anything. Anything!

Without losing time and despite trembling a bit she prepared her diner. Despite being unwell her former habit of healthy eating helped her to cook what was instructed.

When she sat facing her plate containing grilled meat and vegetables with spices she looked at it in a sad way. The smell was good but due to months of smoking she barely smelled it. The taste was wonderful too but for the same reason to her it was insipid. She added spices to make it better. When she finished her stomach was full but something, in fact several things were missing. Instead of her usual glass of alcohol and cigarette she drank tea. But her dulled sense of smell and taste prevented her from really enjoy it.

When she did her cam show she didn't have her usual intensity. What she was missing, junk food, alcohol and cigarettes, was bothering her spoiling her sexual excitation.

Her night was bad too. She spend it changing often of position and going often to the water closets. Reverting what she had done to herself would be for sure hard. And it was hard.

The days that followed Madeline had to deal with a triple craving: junk food, tobacco and alcohol. More than once she was tempted to go out and buy something to eat, to drink or to smoke. But despite what she did to herself during months she kept being the Moray Eel. Her will had to prevail!

After one week without seeing her, Simone was worried and rang at Madeline's door. When Madi opened she was wearing a bathrobe and was really looking like shit. Her face was deadly pale with red pimples everywhere, there were dark circle around her eyes and her hair were a mess.

- Madi. What is happening to you. Are you ill?

- No. Actually I'm trying to stop cigarettes and booze. That's not easy.

- What can I do for you?

- If you don't mind coming with me for shopping it would help me to not buy what I shouldn't buy.

The time for Madi to dress with one of her cheap sportswear and the two women went to do shopping. Madeline had to refill her fridge and it was not an easy task. She knew very well what she had to buy but she was attracted by what she shouldn't buy. When she walked not from far the alcohol bottles it was like they were asking her to buy them. Been close to junk food made her salivate and she almost thought hearing her stomach begging for it.

Shopping had never been such a challenge for her and she was glad to have Simone on her side. The old woman presence helped her to resist the multiple temptations. From that day, Simone would do her shopping with her young friend every week.

Madi's routine was now very different. She started her day with a bowl of organic cereals, a glass of orange juice and herbal tea. At 10 am she had a small snack made of tea and cakes that were home made.

For lunch she started with a green salad with different things in it, like grated cheese, crouton or even shrimps. The main course was meat or fish with vegetables. In the instruction book there were a lot of recipes and the spices were really a plus to enhance the taste.

The desert was most of the time made of fruits with tea. The 4 pm snack was simple: herbal tea and fruits. The diner was like the lunch. And she had to drink different types of herbal tea during the day which made her go the toilets a lot.

It was simple, simple on the paper, not in real. Madeline had to fight her cravings, every hour, every minute, every second. It was a battle to not go out to buy junk food, alcohol and tobacco. She was dreaming of stuffing her face with fries, hamburger and whiskey and then chain smoke a whole pack of cigarettes. It was like she could taste and smell all those things she had methodically forced herself to enjoy for months.

She had well conditioned herself but now she had to fight it and it was a hell of a fight. Every night she was sweating more than she ever had and even with her dulled senses she could tell it smelled really bad. The fight became far harder two weeks after starting it.

It was 6 am and she had slept a bit better than usual but her guts were doing weird noises that awakened her. She let go a fart as she used since she no longer cared about any decency. But the fart was followed by a stream of liquid and very smelly excrements. She could do nothing to stop it and her bowels emptied themselves in her bed during long minutes that she felt to be an eternity. The smell was so awful that she vomited, that stream seemed to last an eternity too.

She was now in bed full of shit and vomit and there was a lot on her. When she stood she almost fell, her legs were barely supporting her, she had rarely been so weak. Going to the bathroom was really a challenge, she was walking like an old woman. She took off her pajama and had a look at herself in the mirror. What she saw was grotesque: a huge nude woman, with a bad haircut, partially covered with excrements and vomit.

She went under the shower where she ended sitting under the water since her legs could no longer support her. She stayed almost 20 minutes under the shower. It was like a very old person that she wiped her body with a towel and put her bathrobe on.

Walking to the kitchen was a bit easier but she kept being weak. She was nauseous and her bowels were like she was about to have a diarrhea again. She remembered that in the instruction book about her new diet it was mention that the body detoxification could be like a violent intestinal flue.

The advice given in the book were simple: to drink a lot a specific herbal tea and eat rice or potatoes. She spend her day resting on the old sofa in the living room. She often had to go to the WC. So often that she had the feeling that she spend the whole day walking. It was only in the morning she had enough strength to clean her bed that was an awful disgusting mess.

Even after cleaning it all, the room was smelly. So smelly that she slept on the sofa. She was ill as she never had been before for three days. The fourth day she was better but weak and when she opened to Simone that was ringing at her door, the old almost screamed of surprised.

- My god, Madi what happened to you? You don't look well at all.

In fact she looked really bad, she was pale like a dead, there were dark circles around her eyes, and her face was covered with pimples.

- My body is in detoxification and it's hard.

- You should see a doctor.

- He will tell me to go on diet and stop drinking and smoking. This is what I'm doing.

That month Madeline did no cam show and did not go to the porn cinema even if slowly she felt better and better. The only pleasure she had were the baths she took using essential oils. To her surprise, the massages with the roll and by hands using the creams were not that bad and the electro stimulation sessions were not painful at all. But it was really a bad month for her. The monthly check came, the lose was of 5 kilograms, her total weight was of 111 kilograms.

- I lost 5 kilo. I guess it's good. But... Fuck! I'm not even happy. Am I doing the right choice? I should perhaps resume what I was doing. But if I do that M won't do anything for me.

For the second month of the diet the instructions were to add sports that did not put too much weight on the joints. The sports were swimming and indoor bicycle. The indoor bicycle was delivered at the same time than the box containing almost the same things than the previous month one. Assembling it was not complicated since Madi was now pretty skilled for such things. To make the use of the indoor bicycle less boring, she put it facing the TV set.

To go to the swimming pool she had to buy a swim suit since the one she took with her was now ridiculously small compare to her size. She found nothing of her size in the supermarket so she went to a shop in the city center, this time Simone was not with her.

When she entered the shop the saleswomen who were fake blonds, for one in her twenties and for the other in her thirties, barely succeed to hide a grin of disgust. Both were what she used to call "provincial fashionable tarts". There were not ugly, but to Madi their looks were cheap. The older one discretely pushed her colleague toward Madeline. More than a year ago they would have probably fought each others to serve Madi.

- Hello I am Louise, may I help you?

- Hello, I'm looking for a swimsuit.

When Louise heard it she looked so surprised that for a second she had a cartoonish grin like her lower jaw was to fall on the floor.

- Ah! Oh! Er, well yes, a swimsuit. Follow me please.

Louise did a lot of search in the swimsuits section and she selected several swimsuits. The two first were obviously too small for Madi. As it was obvious that the young saleswoman was both disgusted and amused by Madeline.

The third swimsuit, a yellow one with a white flower print, seemed to fit Madi. She went to a fitting room and worn it. When she walked out the room, the show was not sexy at all: a fat woman in a yellow swimsuit that was so tight that her nipples were visible through it. She squatted a little to test it. As a result she heard the noise of tissue ripping. The swimsuit cracked open at her bottom level revealing it.

Louise put her hand before her mouth, she was clearly doing her best to not laugh. Madeline got back in the fitting room as fast as she could in way that made her even more ridiculous. When she left the room Louise was replaced by the older woman.

- I am Patricia. Louise is not used to give advice to... voluptuous women like you. According to what I saw I think that this one will fit you. Unfortunately we have it in only one color: blue.

She tried it and indeed it was as perfect as it could be on her. She bought it and left the shop to go back home. She was a bit annoyed by what happened but not as much she thought she would be.

- Common situation for whales like me I guess. At least it shows that I succeeded to downgrade myself beyond what I hoped. Work pays.

The same days she went to the swimming pool. The cashier what quite polite but she could read pity in her eyes. Taking her outfit off to wear the swimsuit was quite a challenge since the individual changing room was really too small for her. She felt like the was trying to move in a match box. It had never taken her so much time to change but finally she succeeded.

When she entered the vast room where was the swimming pools most people looked at her. The feeling could be read on most faces: disgust, amusement, contempt. She even heard a teenager who thought she could not hear him.

- Fuck, a blue whale!

A year ago the same teenager would had to hide a hard on after seeing how hot she was in a swimsuit. But it was something of the past, a past that seemed distant. There were no longer men that looked at her with admiration and not longer any woman to be jealous of her. She worked hard to turn the blond goddess in an ugly fatty and it was a success.

Madi had not swum for at least two years, she used to be a good swimmer. But at that time her weight was about 63 kilograms and it was 111 kilograms. She was not sure on how the extra weight would affect her ability to swim, in fact she was not sure at all she could swim.

She entered cautiously in the pool were the depth allowed her to have her feet on the floor. In the water she felt lighter and the feeling was not unpleasant. Her first attempt to swim was pathetic she looked like someone who had never swum and almost sank. The lifeguard had an eye on her but he didn't move. The others people were laughing.

It was at her third attempt that she succeeded to swim. She was not that bad even if she wasn't as good as she used to be due being fat and smoking. She spend an hour in the swimming pool alternating rest and swim. Seeing all those people discretely laughing at her and having pity gave her an idea. She got out the water and moved from the pool about 10 meters. When the lifeguard was not looking at her, she suddenly ran as fast she could and jumped in the swimming pool creating a water blast that splashed the group of male teenagers who were laughing at her. The young men were not happy but did not dare to say anything since everybody was looking at them.

Madeline quit the pool with a smile on her face. Her smiles disappeared when she saw the vending machine at the entrance just as she was to leave. The machine was full of chocolate bars, chips and sodas. She was hungry and all what the machine contained was more appealing than the home made tuna sandwich and the bottle of water she had in her bag. Looking at the junk food in the machine made her drool, it was like she could already smell and taste it.

Her will was to break when in a desperate move she ran out from the swimming pool to her car. In a her car she had to take a moment to calm down, tears of frustration were rolling down her cheeks. When she felt better she took her sandwich out of her bag. She made it following the recipe of the famous pan bagnat, a traditional sandwich from the city of Nice. She used the finest organic products she could find for it and she did her best to make it good. Unfortunately when she ate it, due to a year of smoking, she did not taste how good was the tuna, the olive oil on the other ingredients.

Pan bagnat used to be her favorite sandwich, now to her it was as bad as she was eating cardboard. After finishing her snack she felt as something was missing, not about the food, something else. A cigarette of course, a cigarette! She searched in her car almost ransacking it in hope to find a cigarette she forgot to remove, but she found nothing.

- Fuck you Madi! Why didn't you left at least one?

She had a look at the parking hoping to find a discarded cigarette end with something left to smoke but she only saw filters.

- The only solution is to go to the tobacconist. Shit no! If I want Doctoresse M to work on me I have to make it. And if I'm not happy with the result I will just go back to the lifestyle. Just a matter of work and patience. The Moray Eel can do anything.

To avoid to drive near the tobacconist she took the longest way to go home. She was so tired that after lunch she spend the whole afternoon sleeping and didn't do cam show in the morning.

The day that followed, when she waked up, all her muscles were aching like she had been beaten to pulp, she was moving like an old one and lacked energy. Getting back in shape was definitively harder than becoming a fat one, a smoker and an heavy drinker. It was a permanent fight. Actually Madi was already missing the lifestyle. But she was the Moray Eel, someone very stubborn.

When she did her monthly check she had again the proof that being stubborn and a hard worker was paying. That month she lost 6 kilograms, her total weight was now of 105 kilograms. When she looked at herself her face was as full of pimples that she had been for weeks, her teeth were less yellow and her natural blond color was more visible in her hair.

- At that rhythm in a year I will be back in shape as M asked. But what a bore it is. If I do it, she better do something good or she will remember who I am!

She received her goods and instructions for the third month. The most important change was that she now had to do sessions of nordic walking using sticks. Having a look at the diet that was detailing every meal for the month she saw that there was less protein. The difference was not that big but it was obvious to her. It was obvious too that that third month would be a struggle too.

For the first walk she decided to go to the nearby fitness trail. She liked to train at fitness trails when she was in shape, she hoped that having the walk there would awake some past reflex, muscular memories and help to motivate her. Fat as she was she knew that just walking would be a challenge. For her first time she had to do the whole trail, that was 1,5 kilometers long, twice. She started very slow, using the sticks to support her and put less weight on her legs.

After about a kilometer the fat Madeline was already sweating a lot, breathing heavily and her heart was beating fast. She felt like her whole body was turning into liquid and that she was to spite coal directly from her lungs. She heard footstep, someone who was coming behind her. It was a man, in his thirties, a sportive one. He was well build and had a pleasant look. He ran past her saying:

- Hello.

Madi was surprised and answered a bit late so that he was too far to really hear her. She resumed walking, despite having doubt about her capacity to finish without fainting. Every step seemed to cost her so much energy that she felt like it was the last. But she was an hard worker and someone stubborn so she did not stop.

Several times the runner ran past her, in fact he did it some many times that she lost the count. Her feeling was mixed when he was running past her, on a side it was quite demoralizing on another one she saw it as a challenge even if she knew she could not win it.

When she finished her 3 kilometers and came next to her car, the runner was here drinking some water near his own car. Madeline face was red and sweaty, she had difficulties to breathe, she was coughing and was walking like an old woman. He looked at her like she was to die.

- Are you ok?

She smiled, a bit of human warmth was very welcome.

- Yes. I haven't done sport for a while so it was not easy.

His expression turned into an angry one.

- Are you crazy? Heavy as you are, you could get an heart attack and die here alone!

Madeline was a shocked by the way things were going.

- But, but ... I am doing that to lose weight.

- Yes sure. You better see a doc and get a stomach surgery.

She was to answer but he put an end to the talk.

- And don't say I did not warn you!

He got in his car and left leaving Madeline surprised and lost. It took her almost 10 minutes to go out of the stupor she was in. It with difficulties that she entered her tiny car and drove home.

Back at home she ate something, had a shower and went to bed for a nap that lasted longer than excepted. When she awoke she felt even worse than after her first swimming pool session. Did a truck went on her? All muscles were painful and moving was horrible. The massages on the sore muscles were far from being nice and she had to do them 3 times a day. The only thing that gave her some relieve was taking a bath with essential oils. In fact it was probably her only pleasure since she started the diet.

The fight kept being hard, her body was keeping craving for junk food, alcohol and tobacco every second. She knew she could lose the fight if she let herself go. The only positive thing was that her senses of smell and of taste were slowly coming back, so the food was a bit better.