The Most Beautiful Woman In Egypt

"We will go and sit in the sun for awhile, Farida." Declared Userkaf after the meal, grabbing his cup of beer and motioning Teti to follow him. The look of disgust that was directed at Teti by his cousin's wife made him pick up his feet, tracking his cousin like a puppy.

So, they found themselves sitting on the same bench in the garden where Farida took shelter from the sun earlier, sipping on their beer, conversation hard to take a smooth flow.

"Yes, so sad." Repeated Userkaf, jerking Teti out of his thoughts. "I'm afraid it is my fault, as well."

Teti was shocked. "Your fault? What in heaven's name are you talking about?" he asked alarmed.

"Well," sighed Userkaf deeply and sipped on his beer. "When we first got married, I used to put great emphasis on having a son. Many sons in fact. And daughters, too." His eyes darkened with remorse. "It has been three years since Farida first lay with me and there are no children yet. I am afraid she blames herself for it."

Teti did not see it like at all. He was certain that if there were no children, it was due to Husmiyah's magic potion, no doubt requested by Farida herself. She didn't want any children by Userkaf. She didn't even like him touching her, he had seen her pull away from him or wince at his touch too many times to believe otherwise. It must have been a real torture for Farida to share his bed every once in a while. Letting him look at and run his hands over her perfect body. Taking her eagerly, blinded by passion he never realized that her moans and screams were nothing but a lie. Of course, Teti had never witnessed their love making, but it did not take much intellect to realize what must have been going on in Userkaf's apartments when his wife mercifully agreed to share his bed.

"Maybe it is her fault." Said Teti boldly and only his cousin's dark eyes, begging him not to restart the argument stopped him from revealing more. "Well," he added carefully. "You did father a child. A boy, no less. It might not have been your fault that he was not strong enough. Maybe not even his mother's fault." Userkaf's face kept darkening with sadness and Teti hardly saw a way out of this. "Maybe the gods liked him so much they wanted him back before he lived a full earthly life, Userkaf. Maybe it is Farida's fault tha your home has no children."

A weak smile from his cousin told him that he appreciated the attempt to make him feel better. "No, I don't believe that, my dear cousin." He said meekly. "I am fifty years old, much older than her, my body has been beaten by troubles, worries, illnesses, diseases and weather. It is no wonder I cannot put a baby in her belly and happiness in her heart."

Teti smirked. How odd that a man of such intelligence could be so foolish!

Teti knew much more than he ever could reveal to Userkaf and expect him to remain his friend. The way his cousin reacted when he mentioned Farida's cruelty had told him that if he was to reveal her affair with Userkaf's nephew, he might make the man fall over dead with sadness or even pull a dagger on Teti himself.

"Farida sacrifices to Bast every day, and I do the same to Min, praying for fertility of our bodies, which would produce a household of happy laughter and stomping little feet, which would bring me moments of joy in my final days of life." Userkaf's heavy sigh stabbed deep into Teti's heart. What will happen to him when he finds out what Teti has done?

The deed has not been completed yet, Teti knew better than to be careless, not expecting too much from words of a priest he had only met once in his life and who lived in a small village by the Nile three days of horse ride away. Who is to say the priest himself didn't lie?

'Well,' thought Teti, 'I suppose we will know soon.'

"Maybe, the time will come when it will not matter anymore." Said Teti, facing his cousin with as much frankness in his face as he could possibly muster. "We are old men now, Userkaf, or almost old."

"Old would be right." Chuckled Userkaf.

"Well, we are old and the world is to continue on the young. You should enjoy the fruit of your labor, enjoy the favors of the pharaoh and delight in your wife as much as you can. Who is to say we will not be meeting Osiris tomorrow?"

Userkaf was clearly amused by this short speech. "My cousin, a philosopher!" he exclaimed and gently slapped Teti on his back. "Obviously, the old age is doing you good."

The men felt satisfied in the late morning sun, feeling closeness and genuine affection for each other. They quieted for a few moments, Userkaf finally breaking the silence: "How are you children, my cousin? I haven't seen them in your house this morning."

Teti sighed heavily. His children were his pleasure and pain, his pride and heaviness of the heart. "Kaphiri and Heqaib are in their tutor's workshop, still industriously studying. I am thankful that they have taken this small talent of mine and turned it into something useful."

"Yes," agreed Userkaf. "They will make fine scribes one day and any temple in Egypt would love to give them shelter and appreciate their work." After a short pause, he continued: "Come to think of it, the way your favor with the pharaoh seems to be growing, I would not be surprised if they both ended up in his own temple one day."

"And we all know, particularly me, that favor was solely bestowed upon me through your name. If I was not your relative, the pharaoh would not have given me the time of the day."

"Oh, now!" exclaimed the older of the two men. "It might be true that the pharaoh noticed you earlier because of our cousinship, but sooner or later someone would have whispered in his ear, revealing the name of the best of the small sculptors and jewelers in the city."

"You flatter me greatly, cousin." Teti felt embarrassed. "But, please! Continue! My ears are soothed by the honey of your words."

Both men burst into a bout of laughter, slapping their thighs in merriment.

"And how is my beautiful niece Halima?" Userkaf finally caught his breath.

"Ah, beautiful." Replied Teti, which again triggered a bout of uncontrollable giggles from the men too old to behave like young children. "She has more wigs, dresses, smelling salts and jewelry then anybody I have ever known. She is a headache sometimes, cousin."

"She is a blessing, Teti." Replied Userkaf seriously. "She is a good young woman and you will have to be looking for a husband for her soon."

"Ha!" laughed Teti. "You and I and pharaoh all will have to put our influence together to find someone who will take care of her!" he added, knowing that even though his daughter possessed a great deal of vanity, she really was a good young woman as Userkaf had so kindly pointed out.

"Which reminds me," said Teti carefully. "How is your nephew these days? I haven't seen him anywhere in the city for weeks now."

Userkaf let out a heavy sigh, his face darkening in displeasure. "Ah, Djoser. He is a troubled young man, indeed."

Teti frowned in an understatement voiced by his cousin.

"You know Teti, when my beloved brother passed away, I promised him I would take good care of Djoser. I was going to see him learn a trade and settle down. He was to have a family, be happy and kind, just like my brother had been. But," he sighed heavily, "it was not to be."

Teti nodded in agreement, recalling all the trouble and worries that young Djoser had bestowed upon his guardian.

"He is not a boy any longer, you know." Continued Userkaf. "He is a young man now. Handsome and strong, stubborn and I am sad to say, greedier than anyone I had ever known."

Teti's thoughts flew to Farida, but he did not interrupt his cousin's flow of thoughts.

"Djoser is not the sort of man I should have encouraged to come to the house after I got married, even if he is my own flesh and blood. He would embarrass and insult me continuously. He would upset me every time he set his foot in my home." Userkaf wiped his eyes as if crying, but there were no tears to be seen.

"Every time he came here, he would upset Farida, too!" he concluded.

Teti closed his eyes in disappointment over his cousin's blindness. Djoser had never upset or insulted Farida in his life. Like so many other men in the city, he was enchanted by her, oblivious to anything but her eyes, and hips, and breasts. He followed her like a small kitten and everybody but Userkaf had seen it. Farida's hard feelings toward Djoser were an act and they were both playing a part. That is why Teti feared for his cousin' life so much.

Both of them greedy, up to no good, this could not have ended good.

"Where is he now?" inquired Teti, feigning interest.

"Living in one city or another, one village or another, learning one trade or another. He had failed in everything he had ever tried to learn. He does not have the patience or determination, Teti. He is a very bright young man. He could be anything he wanted to be, a doctor, an architect, a scribe. But no, the best he does is throw my good name and my hard earned wealth away as if they were a rotten piece of meat. The last time when he was here, I had asked him to stay away. I cannot deal with it anymore."

Sadness on Userkaf's face was so profound that Teti did not have a heart to tell him the truth. He could not reveal the goings on from a few months ago, when he accidentally wandered into the garden and hearing hushed voices hid behind the bushes, only to observe Farida and Djoser in a passionate embrace, kissing and fondling each other like a pair of common monkeys. If there ever were a baby in Farida's belly, Teti would have sworn it was not Userkaf's child.

Teti sighed in relief. Like he said to Userkaf before, everything will be all right soon. When this day was over, things would be sorted out, even though Userkaf was not aware of it yet.

"Come on!" rang out a sweet voice of Userkaf's wife through the garden. "Let's have some desert!"

The men could not see Farida clearly from the trees and bushes, but even through all of the greenery and flowers, her impressive figure dominated the patio at the back of the house.

"Come, cousin." Said Userkaf gaily. "Let's grant the wish of the most beautiful woman in Egypt."

Heaviness and fear made Teti's legs feel like blocks of stone, and for a moment he almost declined the offer. To back off now however, would be foolish. He had to see his deed come to pass. He had to see the look on Farida's face at the moment of realization that she, the backstabber, had been tricked and stabbed in the back herself.

They joined Farida and her faithful servant Husmiyah at the low table holding a tray of the sweetest looking fruit one could find at this time of the year. Grapes, white and black, thick plums, apples and bananas were arranged on silver in a way to please the eye. Teti always wondered about Husmiyah's boldness, sitting at the family table, eating with Userkaf as if she was a relative and not a simple servant.

Userkaf motioned to the cook to come closer and taste the fruit before any of them bit into it. After all the unexplained deaths of servants and slaves, Userkaf had finally given in to Teti's persuasion to have the cook taste the food before each meal. Userkaf himself would choose the piece of meat or a handful of vegetables to be tested, waiting patiently for the cook who prepared the food to eat them, making sure that it was not poisoned. These days, one could not tell where the danger lurked.

"No, my husband!" interrupted Farida to the great surprise of Userkaf and Teti both. Husmiyah did not seem to be alarmed. "I trust our cook immensely. He is a very loyal servant, nobody has ever fallen ill from his food." She challenged the men with the deepest of gazes, daring them to oppose her.

"Here," she said. "I will taste it for you. I am your loyal wife and if gods desire it so, I would die for you!" she said contently, making Teti nearly lose control of himself and laugh out in a hoarse screech.

Farida reached for the plums on the tray, picked out the thickest and juiciest one, and biting into it closed her eyes to savor the taste. Alarm evident on Userkaf's face did not disappear until she swallowed and looked at him seductively.

"See? Nothing wrong with it." She offered the half eaten plum to her husband. "Now you!"

As Userkaf took the fruit from her hand and carried it to his mouth, waving dismissal to the cook, she reached for another plum and bit into it with all the eagerness of a mischievous child. "I will taste for you, too, my brother."

Teti would rather not eat anything that had been spoiled by the vile mouth of this woman, however in order to keep the peace for a few minutes longer, he took the fruit and bit into its sweet softness, chewing on its juicy meat, just as his cousin had done before him.

Satisfied that she completed her task, Farida leaned back, crossing her hands over her pulled up knees, keeping her weight in balance as if she was somehow suspended in an impossible leaning position.

"So," she smiled sweetly. "What were you two talking about in the garden?" She leaned forward in a conspiratory gesture: "Or was it male business, not suitable for my pretty little ears?"

'And I thought Halima was vain', went through Teti's head. This woman had no modesty about herself whatsoever. She would tell you she and everybody else believed she was the most beautiful woman in the whole of Egypt without batting an eye or blushing in shame over her own boldness.

"Oh, no," Userkaf dismissed her tact, reaching for another pair of plums, handing one to Teti. "We were talking about my nephew, Djoser. About his impossible ways and how he always upsets us both with his crudeness and dishonesty. "

Something bothered Teti, but he could not quite put his finger on it. Something was amiss here, and yet, he could not place blame on anything or anyone for his feeling of dread.

Farida's burst of laughter intensified the uneasiness he began feeling since they entered the house upon her call.

"Ah, Djoser!" she exclaimed. "The handsome, bold, greedy and above all, completely useless Djoser!"

Userkaf swayed a bit, and Teti could have sworn that his words were slurred. "Now, Farida, no need for that kind of talk."

"No?" she asked, cocking her head in flirtation. "What kind of talk would you like to hear then?"

Teti wanted to interrupt and bring a stop to her cruelty, which so obviously was about to target his dearest cousin and friend. His tongue seemed heavy in his mouth; his eyelids droopy and he realized he was so tired that any minute now, he would fall over and drift into sleep.

"What kind of talk is that, Userkaf?" screamed Farida now, jumping to her feet, approaching her husband in a threatening manner. "Would you rather talk about my beauty? Is that it?"

With great effort, Teti forced himself to turn his head and look at Userkaf. His eyes were wide open now. He didn't look well, appearing as a drunk with no control over his body or speech.

"You want to talk about my breasts, my hair and my beautiful face, and about how much you like to touch me where you think nobody has ever touched me before? You fool!" She spat.

"You old, ugly, stupid fool!" she was screaming hysterically now, her voice echoing in Teti's head, giving him an instant headache.

"Did you know, that your nephew, your adopted son, your beloved Djoser believes that when you're dead, he will take your place in my bed? He prays to every god he can think of to take you away from here, to leave him with your wife and your riches to rule his life like he wants to!" She walked over to Userkaf in fury and slapped him with such force, that he toppled over, his head landing at Teti's feet.

To his horror, Teti realized that Userkaf's eyes were open in stunned realization of what had happened. There was no movement to be seen, no breath taken by his beloved cousin. Userkaf was dead and Teti could not move a muscle.

"And you!" Farida now turned to Teti, her rage centered on him in complete oblivion to anything else around her. "You tried to poison his mind against me!" He could see the slap coming but his body was to weak to avoid it.

He fell just like his cousin did mere seconds ago, but he was not dead yet. He couldn't move his limbs but he could still talk. Words were slurred and almost unrecognizable, but he could still talk.

"What did you do?" he asked with great effort, feeling his lungs constraining, pushing out his breath and not letting any air back in.

"I poisoned you two fools!" she yelled in triumph, and Teti felt her kick somewhere beneath his waist. He could not feel any pain now; his lungs have gathered all of the sensations left in his body, turning into a burning ball of desire to draw breath. "I am getting rid of both of you! You and your haughty pharaoh and his cursed favor of your pathetic works!"

"How?" he heard a coarse whisper escape his mouth. For a moment, the muscles of his body relaxed and he gratefully inhaled, managing to move his fingers of the right arm and touch Userkaf's head. "How?" he repeated.

"The plums were poisoned!" she exclaimed and laughed like a madwoman. "Half of each fruit was poisoned and I took great care to mark the deadly side and make sure that I bit off the clean part! And you, and this fool here, the great intellects have fallen for the oldest trick known to mankind!"

Farida laughed and laughed, making Teti believe that she really did lose her mind.

"The ring," he whispered, cutting her laughter short.

"What?" she fell onto her knees close to him, pushing her head against his mouth in order to hear his last words. "What did you just say?"

"The ring." His voice became stronger and for a moment, a tiny spark of hope flickered in his head, making him believe that he did not ingest enough poison to kill him.

"What about the ring?" asked Farida and looked at the beautiful band wrapped around her finger. "Ah!" she screamed again and Teti felt sorry for the woman, spending her last moments of her life hollering like a lunatic at the bazaar.

She lifted her hand in front of her face, clearly exposing the finger with the ring, now blackened and swollen. Teti smiled contently. It worked.

"Husmiyah!" whispered Farida, her face an ugly mask of terror. She frantically tried to pull the ring off her finger and as she finally managed to slip it over the knuckle, it had left fine, thin marks, like those made by a cat when scratching in fury. Husmiyah ran to her mistress, grabbing her hand and inspecting the wounds.

"It took me months to make it, Farida. Just for you." Teti let out in his struggle for breath. He had to give himself this last pleasure. Despite the pain and suffering, he had to let her know.

"On the inside, there are the finest of the thorns a man has ever made, Farida. As fine as the stinger of a mosquito. You don't feel it stab you, but when the poison on the ring starts working, your finger swells up and pushes the stingers and the poison deep inside your body., The little turquoise gems are holding more poison that it is needed end the lives of a dozen men." He coughed with effort. "It kills you, Farida!"

His body spasmed in pain over the lack of air, his limbs heavy, his brain going numb just as he was aware it was doing so.

"It kills you, just like you killed your husband. Just like you killed me. You always fancied yourself a lioness or a tigress." He coughed, spitting foam that had been choking him. "And yet, you are nothing but a hyena, too greedy to care that you are sniffing around the basket full of rattlesnakes. You were bound to get stung sooner or later, Farida." He took one more breath and then his body convulsed in a terrifying pain of death.

The last thing he saw before his eyes lost their focus was Farida and her old servant clutching at the beautiful woman's hand, their faces twisted in horror. Farida swayed and her body lost balance, slowly falling to the ground to join that of Userkaf and his own.