The Nudity Virus

"Absolutely!" I replied.

Audrey looked at me for a moment. Finally, she said, "Do you want to go ahead and eat? We can talk after dinner?"

"That's fine," I said. "What can I help with?"

"Just sit in the corner and keep me company," Audrey said. "It isn't much. Just shrimp in pasta with some herbs and olive oil."

I sat on a stool in the corner Audrey fixed our dinner. She wasn't doing anything to hide her body from me. Suddenly, Audrey said, "I'm surprised you live alone," she said. "No wife?"

"Divorced about five years ago," I replied.

"Not dating anyone now?" Audrey asked.

"No."

"Do you have any children?" Audrey asked.

"Just one," I said. "Samantha's 23. She got a degree in dance in New York City. She graduated a year ago and has been barely getting by as a yoga instructor since."

"Have you told her about what happened?" Audrey asked.

"Not yet," I said. "Sam's really busy trying to make a living. We don't usually talk unless she has a reason. I need to tell her, but I want to have a plan in place before I have that conversation."

"Have you told your ex?" Audrey asked.

"I haven't spoken to Jill since the divorce finalized," I said. "Sam described Jill's attitude towards me best when she said 'Dad, for Mom you're like an old outfit she took to Goodwill: out of sight and out of mind.'"

"That's too bad," Audrey said.

"Jill didn't want the marriage anymore, so she was wise to make a complete break," I said.

"I haven't been married," Audrey said, "but I was dating a guy for a couple of years. It ended about a month ago." Audrey looked down her bare body. "If this had happened sooner," she said, "maybe we'd still be together. Rich would love this."

When dinner was ready, we got more wine and sat across from each other at Audrey's table. As we ate, Audrey said, "Ok, what are you going to do next?"

"Hal made it clear I'm not welcome back in the office," I said. "I don't know if I could go in there nude anyway. I've worked with many of those people for twenty years. Janet has the right idea in getting a lawyer. I have a friend who is perfect. She's smart, aggressive with the other side, and great with her clients."

"Is this someone you've had a relationship with?" Audrey asked.

"Not sexual," I said. "Amy's been a good friend for years, but she's also been married for years. They have two kids and love each other very much."

"What is your goal?" Audrey asked.

"I need some compensation from my firm," I said. "I'd like something from HBC and the Feds."

"I'm certain Rodney sent Emily in with that test tube intending for this to happen," Audrey said. "Both Janet and I had successfully pushed back at him and he hates that, especially from a woman."

"If it was intentional," I said, "You're not limited by workman's comp."

"Do you think your friend would represent me too?" Audrey asked.

"I don't see any conflict between us," I said, "I'll ask. I expect she'll be glad to."

We finished dinner, cleaned up, and Audrey poured another glass of wine for each of us. We sat down in her living room. I noticed that Audrey was not concerned about keeping her legs together.

Audrey sipped some wine. "I meant what I said earlier Harry. You do look great naked."

"And I meant what I said," I replied, "You look incredible naked."

Audrey smiled. "Shitty time for his to happen," she said.

"Why, as opposed to some other time?" I asked.

"I told you I just broke up with my boyfriend," Audrey said. "I can hardly be out meeting new guys under the circumstances."

I laughed. "You'd certainly attract men," I said.

"That's not the whole problem," Audrey said.

I was slow on the uptake. "What else is involved?" I asked.

"Well," Audrey said, "at least the way I do it, sex involves a lot of skin-to-skin contact." There was a new look in Audrey's face. It excited me. "Is some guy going to think a fuck with me is worth never being able to wear clothes again?" she asked.

"I'd say that you're worth it," I responded, "but the simpler solution is sex with someone who's already infected."

Audrey stood and put her glass down. "Now we're on the same page," she said. I stood and stepped to her. We hugged. We kissed. Audrey took my dick in her hand. I began stroking her pubic hair with my hand. She spread her legs. I put my hand between her thighs and began gently fingering her.

After we had kissed and played with each other for a while, Audrey broke the kiss and said, "I like you Harry. You're not overeager or greedy. You up for staying the night?"

"Certainly," I said.

"I'm on birth control," Audrey said. "I'll trust you not to have an STD if you trust me."

I looked in Audrey's amazing blue eyes and said, "I trust you."'

"Come upstairs to my bedroom," Audrey said as she took my hand.

I followed Audrey's perfect bare ass upstairs to her bedroom. Once we were in the room, I told her "Lie down, on your back." She did as I instructed. I got on the bed at her feet, firmly pushed her legs apart, crawled up the bed, and buried my face in her pussy. I licked. I sucked. I bit a little, which she seemed to like. Once I thought I knew what Audrey liked best, I stayed with it.

It took time, which was fine with me. Audrey's hips started to buck. She repeated "Oh, my, oh yes!" several times. Finally, she tensed, jerked her hips hard, and yelled, "God yes!" When Audrey got her breathing back under control, she said, "Get up here you."

I slid up the bed until we were lying face to face. Audrey kissed me. "You know how to impress a girl, eating me on a first date," she said. She was fondling my balls as we talked. "Not worried about those secretions?" she asked jokingly.

"It's worth whatever I catch from you," I said.

"You'd better be careful," Audrey said, "You keep up like that and you may be catching a girl who's hard to get rid of."

"Why would I want to get rid of her?" I asked.

"Good reply Harry," Audrey said. "Roll on your back." I did. Audrey straddled me, grabbed my dick, and guided it into her as she lowered herself onto me. Granted, I'd not had sex in a while, but sliding into Audrey felt a lot better than I remembered the initial entry feeling. Audrey looked down at me and looked very, very beautiful. "Let me lead," she said, "I'm told that I'm good at this."

Audrey was very good. It took every trick I knew to keep from coming until I sensed that she was about to have her second orgasm. I was lucky and shot into her just as she threw her head back, stuck her tits out, and said, "Oh! God! Yes! Two!"

After we came, Audrey lay on top of me. I was still in her, which was the best place I could think of to be. Audrey looked into my eyes for quite a while. She said, "Harry Stone, you are making a very, very positive impression. You're on the verge of getting the position."

"Which position is that?" I asked.

"The position of being my boyfriend," Audrey said.

"That sounds like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity," I said. "What can I do to seal the deal?"

"Just hold me," Audrey said. "Hold me like this all night."

I held Audrey like that all night. She fell asleep with my dick still in her. That was the most comfortable night I'd had in my life up to that point.

Audrey woke first and woke me by getting off me. I looked at her. "Ok," she said, "We've both been stressed. We drank some wine. Being naked all the time has gotten me horny. What do you think in the cold, hard light of dawn?"

I looked at Audrey for a moment. Although she had just woken up, I'd never seen a woman look that beautiful. She was smart, fun to be around, and seemed to like me (everyone has one flawed judgment). "I think that test tube breaking was the best thing that's ever happened to me," I said.

I checked my e-mail from Audrey's computer. I was glad to see an e-mail from Dr. Martinez with two letters attached. One was from her on HBC letterhead and the other was from Dr. Swanson on CDC letterhead. The two letters explained what had happened and explained that, through no fault of my own, I was incapable of covering my nudity and would remain that way for the rest of my life. Audrey received similar letters. Now that I'd apparently hooked up with Audrey, lifetime nudity was sounding better to me.

I forwarded the letters to Amy Hogan along with an e-mail saying that I would call her that morning. When I called, Amy's first words to me were, "This is real, not a gag?" I assured Amy that the situation was very real. "Wow," she said, "this is science fiction stuff."

The next thing I did was call Samantha in New York. Even with the letters, which I forwarded to her as well, she thought I had made the whole thing up. "Sam," I asked, "how do you think I'd get ahold of CDC letterhead?

"I don't know," she said, "you have friends everywhere."

"And what do I gain by making this all up and telling it to you?" I asked. "Is that the kind of thing I've done to you in the past?"

"Ok," she said, "you made your point. So, you really can't wear clothes? That sounds kind of fun. But what are you going to do in the winter?"

That was an issue I hadn't thought about. I mentioned it to Audrey. "I hadn't thought about that either," Audrey said. "I'll start doing some research to see where we can move."

"We don't know whether we'll have the money to move," I replied.

"We will," Audrey assured me, "and we need to act fast. In about four months, it'll be too cool here to be comfortably naked outdoors." Thanks to Samantha and Audrey, we were addressing a problem I hadn't even thought of.

Amy was nice enough to come to Audrey's condo that afternoon. She sat in an armchair in Audrey's living room while Audrey and I sat side-by-side on the sofa. We talked through several options before the three of us agreed on a plan which Amy and I thought likely to succeed.

As Amy was getting up to leave, she said, "I've got to tell you, you two make an attractive couple together naked."

"One good thing has come out of this," Audrey said. "I found Harry." Audrey looked at me and said, "that's very, very good."

"Let's keep that between us until your claims are resolved," Amy said.

Amy was amazing. My years of practice indicated that we'd not have a deal until the following year at the earliest and it could drag on for years if we had to go to court. By the end of May, Amy had settlements with my old firm, HBC, and the Government that provided me with eight figures even after deducting Amy's one-third fee. Although Audrey had one less entity to claim against, Amy got her deals that were almost as good. More amazing, Audrey and I had the money by Memorial Day. Truly outstanding work.

Almost as important as the money, Amy had gotten us each a letter signed by the Attorney General of the United States saying that, as a matter of national security, Audrey and I were allowed to be completely nude at any time and place, that this Federal permission superseded all state and local laws, and that anyone trying to arrest or otherwise interfere with us because of our nudity faced prosecution and imprisonment. We also got laminated cards, like driver's licenses, saying the same thing. We carried those in small pouches velcroed around our ankles. I thought the AG's letter probably wouldn't stand up if anyone pushed the issue but everyone, we ever showed it to took it at face value.

While we were waiting for the settlements to close, Audrey and I moved back and forth between her condo and the small house I bought after Jill got our house in the divorce. Audrey and I fucked in every room in both properties. Our relationship was getting stronger every day we were together.

I met Audrey's parents. Meeting a girlfriend's parents for the first time is stressful enough. Add being stark naked when you meet them, and you will understand what I went through. Audrey's parents, Jennifer and Tom, handled the situation surprisingly well. I did notice that Tom couldn't take his eyes off his naked daughter. I couldn't fault that. I couldn't take my eyes off Audrey either. For her part, Audrey seemed to have adapted to our situation and showed no self-consciousness being naked in front of her father and mother.

Audrey's research led her to decide that we should move to the Florida Keys. The climate met our needs and she thought that the relative acceptance of the unconventional in the Keys would make our lives easier. She found a realtor in Key West and explained our situation. The realtor sent us pictures and descriptions of seven properties from Key West to the Upper Keys. We eliminated three but decided that we needed to see the other four.

Driving or chartering a flight to the Keys was out of the question. We needed to fly commercial. Explaining our situation to the airline yielded an emphatic "no way, no how" would we be allowed on a scheduled flight naked. Amy talked to the airline's in-house counsel about the ADA and we got permission to fly.

Standing naked with Audrey in the line to go through security at the airport was an experience I'll never forget. It was embarrassing, thrilling, empowering, and sexy all at once. Having Audrey nude beside me made it infinitely better.

The airline put us in First Class. We had brought towels. Neither of us trusted the airline enough to plunk our bare asses into their seats without some protection. Fortunately, our virus didn't affect the seats or towels. It did, however, disintegrate the cloth of our seatbelts. The cabin crew had told that might happen and to just ignore it.

The flight was uneventful until we hit the inevitable "unexpected rough air." The flight attendant working first class was an older woman, in her early 50's I'd guess. She was in the aisle passing Audrey when the plane gave a jolt. Instinctively, the flight attendant put her hand out to steady herself and she hit Audrey's bare shoulder. I had my fingers crossed, to no avail. Within a couple of minutes, the fronts of the poor woman's uniform, foundation garments, and hose had vanished, leaving her front fully exposed. She shrugged off what was left of her clothes, strapped herself into a jump seat, and began to cry.

Audrey and I did what we could to comfort her. At this point, it didn't matter so Audrey put her arm around the woman. "I'll lose my job," the woman moaned.

"Uh, maybe not," I said. "I'll give you the name and number of a lawyer in Ohio who helped us." I wrote down Amy's name and number and gave it to another flight attendant to put in the woman's bag.

"What do I say to my husband?" the nude flight attendant wailed.

"He may like you his way," Audrey said. "You look very good naked.

"What about sex?" the flight attendant asked. "Does he become a permanent nudie the first time I give him a BJ?" That was a stumper. The honest answer was that he likely would.

We drew even more stares walking naked through Miami International to change to the commuter flight to Key West. Audrey threw back her shoulders, emphasizing her perfect breasts, and we walked tall holding hands. As we walked, Audrey turned to me. There was a smile on her face. "I'm beginning to enjoy this," she said. Once we reached the gate, Audrey walked away to get us coffees. As I watched her walk back, holding two Starbucks at waist level with her bare tits above the cups and her bare triangle and legs below, I decided that I was the luckiest man alive.

Our realtor, Maggie, was totally non-plussed by our nudity in Key West airport. Her only comment was, "You wore the right outfits for this weather." We explained in detail what had happened to us and what we wanted in a house. Maggie took us to the most promising house, near Marathon.

Audrey and I thought the Marathon house was as good as we were going to get. It was on the west side of the island, right on the water. It had a pool. There was a huge ground floor utility room we could make into a gym. The second floor had three large bedrooms, a kitchen/dining room, living room, and study; all above any probable storm surge. Only two other houses could see this house and the back yard. We were getting past worrying about being seen anyway. The catch was the asking price: $ 1.5 million.

Maggie showed us a couple of other houses. Our nudity obviously disconcerted the selling couple at one. We left that house quickly. Maggie took us for lunch at a restaurant in Marathon. At first, they refused to seat us. We showed the hostess our "Federal nudity permits" and she relented to the extent of seating us outside. It was nice to be sitting with a drink, a fresh fish sandwich, and the breeze over my bare skin.

We offered $800,000 for the Marathon house. We told Maggie we'd go up to $ 1.1 mil (in truth, we'd pay the $ 1.5 if we had to), but Maggie thought we'd get the house for $ 1 mil. She drove us back to our hotel in Key West. We'd decided to stay for a couple of days.

We chose the hotel because it catered to European tourists and allowed nudity at its pool. Audrey and I stood out a bit less there. Walking naked down Duval Street was another thrill. Multiple Key West cops informed us that it wasn't Fantasy Fest and we had to get dressed. Our Federal permits worked every time.

Like all tourists, we went into Sloppy Joe's for a beer. It was crowded and we had to slid between people to reach the bar. The bartender, an attractive young girl, said, "Hey, you can't be naked in here!"

A Key West cop had been following us, mostly, I think, because he liked Audrey's ass. The cop yelled back, "Darla, they got something from the Feds that says they can go naked anywhere."

Darla looked at us, smiled broadly, and said, "That is so cool! How can I get one of those?" She comped our beers.

Walking naked through the Duval Street crowd had, frankly, gotten us both excited. Back in our hotel room, Audrey giggled and led me out onto the balcony. It overlooked the fenced-in pool and the ocean beyond. Audrey sat me down in a lounge chair and began stroking me. It didn't take her long to get me hard. Grinning, Audrey put her index finger to her lips before straddling me and lowering herself down onto my dick.

Audrey and I fucked as quietly as we could. That prolonged the tryst, which was perfectly ok with me. Audrey finally game with only a small yelp, then lay on my chest giggling. I looked over her shoulder to check whether anyone had seen us. It didn't seem that anyone had. Then, I noticed that the building angled somewhat to my left. There was a couple standing on a balcony at the far end of our floor. They were smiling and raised their drinks in salute when they realized that I'd seen them. That night, Audrey and I went out on the balcony and were treated to the sight of that couple fucking on the balcony as we had earlier.

After Audrey and I made love, I thought to check my cell phone. I didn't realize that I'd had it on "silent" and missed several calls. I didn't recognize any numbers but began returning the calls.

The second number I called back was a female reporter with one of the TV networks. She had heard of the incident with the flight attendant and wanted to interview us. I talked it over with Audrey and we thought, "What the hell?" Janet had been interviewed on television several times about the incident at HBC and how she adapted to being permanently nude. We might as well give one interview. I called the reporter back and told her that we'd talk to her but that we were in Key West. Immediately, the reporter said, "I'll be there by 10:00 a.m. tomorrow."

Audrey and I were finishing a late breakfast on the balcony when the front desk called to say that the reporter was there. She'd arranged to use the hotel's indoor bar which wasn't open yet. We walked into the bar carrying towels to sit on. Wen I saw the reporter, I realized that I'd seen her before on TV. Sadly, she wasn't nearly as attractive in real life as she appeared on TV.