The Oracle Pt. 03

"Maria, I...I'm gonna...have to...stop soon," Greg managed to say.

But Maria was lost in her own world. She was so close to her climax, she could almost touch it. And more than that, she knew something more was building beneath her, in Greg's loins. Something she'd been missing for a long time now.

"It's okay to cum inside me," she said. "We're safe right now."

They had been through all this before, and in the back of her mind, Maria worried that Greg would see it as passive-aggressive to make the suggestion again. But she felt like she had to, and presenting it as an option seemed less likely to freak him out than ordering him or begging him.

"But...I...I shoudn't..." Greg said, struggling now to hold it back.

"Just let go," she said. Her desire was too strong not to let it show through in her words. "Do it. Cum inside me."

"Maria! Seriously! I...ugh...fuck!" he grunted. He tried to pull away, but she had him pinned. The head of his cock was still just inside her lips when his seed started to flow.

"Oh god!" Maria cried out, her whole body writhing, her vaginal walls squeezing, trying to draw more out of him, clamping down on the tip of him with every bit of strength she had.

She could tell there was a bittersweetness to it, that he had pulled out of her as far as he could. That he'd tried not to cum inside her at all. She thought of her vision, of that unseen man pushing as deep as he could. As close as possible to her waiting egg. Even so, the orgasm this brought her was unlike any that Greg had given her before. For what felt like minutes afterward, the aftershocks of it were running through her from head to toe.

"Can I get up now?" Greg asked.

Maria rolled off him, and he got up and went to the bathroom for a while. Cleaning himself up or whatever else.

His eyes were puffy red when he returned, like he'd been washing them, or had been crying.

"What's wrong?" she asked. It was souring her state of satisfaction.

"You raped me, Maria. I said to stop. I said I didn't want to...I wanted to stop...I tried to stop...and you didn't let me," he said.

"Shit," she said, recognizing some truth to his words. "Greg, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I got carried away."

It really did hit her hard, not just his words, but the hollowness of her own excuse. She could imagine some male sleazebag saying something not far off from it.

He laughed bitterly. "Yeah. You sure did."

"Look, I don't know how to make this right, but...at least this isn't a risky time. I'm serious about that. If you could get pregnant from having sex on your period, I'd be like a mother of eight by now."

"I know you trust in that," he said. "But you know I don't."

"Yeah, and since I'm telling you something that I'm really sure of, that distrust feels like distrust in me," she said. Before he could respond, she added, "What I did was wrong, and I'm not trying to make this about me. I just don't want you to worry about something unnecessarily."

It took almost an entire week before Greg was willing to have sex with her again. But when he climbed between her legs, he asked, "Is it still a safe time?"

"Yeah," Maria said. "You don't have to pull out...but it's totally okay if you do."

He pressed into her, and she wasn't sure what he intended to do. He didn't seem sure either, sometimes pushing hard into her, sometimes slowing and drawing back.

"Do you want me to beg for it?" she muttered.

But Greg was busy having an argument with himself, and didn't reply to her. His eyes glazed over, sweat beaded on his forehead, his chest, drops of it running down between them.

"Maria, I'm about to--" he said, but couldn't make himself say it. Couldn't admit verbally what he was about to do. Maybe he was warning her so that she'd be the one to talk him out of it, but Maria wasn't about to do that. She'd been waiting for this so long. Not just tonight, but the whole time they'd been together.

"I'm ready," she said, feeling that readiness throughout herself. She drew him close, stretching herself up to meet him, his mouth by her ear as he gasped for breath.

Then his frame went taut, his cock pinning her down this time, spearing as deep as it could reach. He grunted, and it turned into a groan, as he let go inside her, intentionally this time. Deep inside her, right where she wanted it. She felt the first shot of his seed inside her, and everything inside her flipped out. She welcomed his deposit, and returned it with interest. He swelled and poured into her again and again.

"I love you," she said, and found his lips with hers. She meant it, especially in that euphoria-drenched moment.

"I love you too," he said, and kissed her again.

Finally the strength went out of him, and Maria's orgasm ebbed away, leaving her just pleasantly filled deep inside. Greg finally slipped free of her and collapsed onto the bed.

"I shouldn't have," he said.

"Shouldn't have what?" she asked.

His words were completely at odds with what she was feeling. When she understood, she didn't try to argue, she just held him, trying to make him more comfortable with himself. Trying to show him they had done nothing worth regretting. As long as she'd been keeping herself safe from unwanted pregnancy, he'd been doing the same, by setting some firm boundaries for himself. It wasn't easy to change that overnight.

A week after her period started, it was probably still safe. Besides, Greg needed that. She needed that.

But with Greg still warring with his guilt, he was done for the night. And by the next night, Maria had at least a suspicion that it was too late. Too far into her cycle. She wouldn't lie and say it was still safe. Not when she could wind up pregnant. Greg certainly wasn't going to stay with her if she conceived through deceit.

Another week later, and Greg was inside her again. Slipping inside her bareback more often now, she thought. Maybe he enjoyed it as much as she did. While they both had every intention of staying safe, of pulling out in time, the precedent was always there now. Especially on days like this when she was extra riled up. Days when she was probably ovulating. Days when the risk involved was the highest. She wondered if everything boiling inside her lit his fire as well.

The words she'd said in that vision were always on her tongue, but there were things she couldn't say to Greg. "Cum inside me", maybe yes, when it was safe. "Knock me up", absolutely not. Still, she found herself imagining saying these things, she imagined him going through with it, and the fantasy drove her to greater heights. That made it all the more frustrating when she couldn't find a way to come back down. Her body just wouldn't release that pent up tension, not without Greg's missing ingredient.

She rolled him onto his back, straddling his waist.

"It's not safe," he reminded her. "You have to let me pull out if I get too close."

If his words were meant to sober her up, they had the exact opposite effect. She nodded absently. Of course she would free him if he wanted free. She still remembered how traumatized he'd been last time she held him down in this position, last time he ejaculated inside her against his own will. She wouldn't put him through that again. But maybe he would just forget to pull out this once. Maybe his desires would lead their lives down a different path, if he just let those desires run free.

As she pushed her hips back and forth, sliding him in and out of her and all around inside her, she could feel his firmness, how deep inside her that rigidity touched her. It was almost enough. Almost. He was breathing deep, trying to still his nerves. It wouldn't be long now, but he was trying to hold out, maybe hoping she'd reach her climax before he reached his. After all, once he came, he couldn't penetrate her again.

She slowed her pace, letting him catching his breath.

"Still with me?" she asked teasingly.

"Yeah, I just...yeah," he said. "Actually, I just need a second. You don't have to get up, but..." His hands held onto her hips, bringing them to a halt with him still nestled inside her.

They stopped moving against each other, but the muscles inside her continued to squeeze and caress him. Her body wanted his, wanted it so bad. They could just sit there like that, and let nature run its course, she thought. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea. She half-hoped he'd miss his cue to pull out.

Then he said, "Sorry, I need to stop. Right now. I need to--"

She had to respect it, as reluctant as she felt about it. Maria pulled herself off him, and reached for his cock, covered in her juices. She barely reached it with her fingers before the fluid pushed up and out of it, coating her hand.

With their intercourse over, Maria knew she ought to be thinking clearer about what she'd been almost ready to do. Except his orgasm brought her no relief, no clarity. The next day at work was a haze of directionless desire. Was it yesterday that she ovulated or today? She could't say for sure, just that the reproductive drive hadn't gone away overnight.

She knew she was playing with fire, but she'd gotten acclimated to the heat. Every time she took him inside her raw, skin to skin, she was taking some small measure risk, but it was a risk she'd taken so many times before. Bringing him close to the brink, that was the new element. That was the tightrope they walked together, and if they slipped...well.

Sometimes Maria worried over it and felt herself grow flustered by it in equal measure. Sometimes she felt more fatalistic about it. Her visions showed her that she'd be having a baby sooner or later. While she still didn't exactly look forward to it, she knew it was something she would eventually come to accept. Maybe she'd regret it in the short term, in the sleepless nights and blown-out diapers, but eventually that would fade. So maybe she should just accept that it would happen when it would happen. Maybe caution was futile. Maybe self-restraint was only frustrating herself.

Then there was also that recent vision, in which she seemed to be actually looking forward to getting knocked up. She had engaged in breeding role-play with a few of her past partners, the ones she trusted enough not to cross the line into reality.

This vision had gone on just long enough for her to feel that warm seed spread out inside her, which was one sign that it might not be simple role-play. But it was also such a short snapshot of a future unknown and uncertain, and context was everything.

In that vision, was it a safe time of the month? Her instincts told her no; she always came from feeling a man ejaculate inside her, but what it felt like in the vision was something even more powerful than that.

In her vision, was she already pregnant? Again her instincts told her no; if it was early along, she wouldn't feel a pendulous belly beneath her, but in that vision, brief though it was, her body had seemed so ripe, so needy, so ready. Like she felt now.

But in the vision, was she being knocked up with her first child, or possibly her second? That was something she couldn't be sure of. And if she conceived her first child in some other way, then it could take her by surprise. There could already be enough of Greg's sperm cells inside her to breach her easy egg.

One thing she could conclude from her vision was that it wasn't Greg. There was always some chance that he might ejaculate inside her by accident, if they strayed too close to the sun. But thrusting into her from behind, there'd be plenty of opportunity to pull out, whether a moment too soon or a moment too late. No, the man in her vision heard her crying out to be knocked up, and wanted to fulfill that wish. The man in her vision was inseminating her intentionally. That couldn't be Greg, not without a dramatic personality shift.

She had never thought much about cheating on Greg--the stakes were always too high to entrust her body to someone she wasn't in a relationship with, and being in a relationship with Greg kept her safe from the threat of conceiving a child. Maria now realized that another man would someday be the one to knock her up. As long as she didn't sleep around, maybe she could make it to thirty after all.

That evening, what she wanted more than anything was for Greg to take her to bed, pin her down, ravish her, claim her...not that she could expect the latter of him, not the way her desires fancied it, no matter how she tamped them down. But Greg was distant. They watched a movie, and she cuddled close to his stolid form. Her hand slipped into his lap and found him hard, but he didn't react when she gently traced the outline of his bulge through his pants. When they went to bed, she caught a brief glimpse of his tented boxers before he rolled away from her, squeezing his eyes shut until she turned out the lights. She caressed his back, and she felt his ribs rise and fall, but he wouldn't roll towards her. His erection wasn't for her to use, which was a shame because she needed it more than ever.

When she ovulated, it often came with this extra drive, but the intensity of that day didn't pass if she didn't sate it somehow. She masturbated in the bathroom, but even after a shaking orgasm, she felt ready, eager, still un-fucked.

The next night, Greg came home late. Maria was waiting in a bathrobe, her bath having soothed but not satisfied her. With anyone else, she might have thought he was cheating, saving himself for another lover, but Greg had the same kind of trust issues she did. There was something in his past that he didn't like to talk about. A teenage fling, a paternity test, a mistake he was determined never to make again. Fair enough, she had skeletons in her closet too; she had learned not to talk about the first time she got pregnant, with Toby. Not after she told her college boyfriend David about it, and it drove him mad. That probably wouldn't happen with Greg, but there was also never a reason to bring it up.

"What's going on?" she asked, when Greg crept in, probably expecting her to be asleep already.

"Maria," he said, taken by surprise. "What do you mean?"

"I mean giving me the cold shoulder," she said. "So what's the hold-up?" she asked. Her frustration got the better of her. "Do you want me to cheat, is that it?"

"Is that something you would do?" he asked.

For a moment, she wondered what his reaction would really be if she did. Or even if she introduced that fantasy. She thought of that vision, of that certainty that it was another man inside her, seeding her. But now was not the time to get distracted with that.

"No. Of course not. I'm just trying to make sense of it. What the hell?"

"I...look, I'm allowed to just not want sex sometimes, right?" he asked. "You know I would never push those boundaries with you..."

"But I also have needs," she said. "And you do too. It's not subtle on you. This is driving me crazy."

"And you don't think it's hard for me too??" he said.

She wanted to cross the room to him, take him in her arms, kiss and make up for whatever she'd done wrong this time. But it seemed like it might not take much to spook him right now, he was still vaguely near the door.

So she waited, to see if he'd try to let it drop without explaining it to her. If he did that, she wasn't sure how they could continue this way.

"The other night, it was intense," he said. "But also, it was too much of a risk. I almost ruined everything."

"But you didn't," she said, trying to soothe him.

"Yeah, but you...weren't exactly helping, if you know what I mean," he said, and then turned away, ashamed. In the dark, Maria was sure she was blushing too. "And now...I don't think we should put ourselves in that position again. We don't even know yet if...if..."

He couldn't even bring himself to say it. They wouldn't know for weeks yet if Maria was already pregnant. But Maria was pretty sure she wasn't. For one thing, she knew what it would feel like when she got knocked up.

"Sure, but there are other positions..." she offered. They both laughed a little. "And if I'm already--"

"We can't assume that, or it'll be a self-fulfilling prophecy," he said. But Maria knew plenty about prophecies and how they got fulfilled. He came closer, laying a hand on her back, and she leaned into him without getting up from the chair. He was hard right now, just like she was soaking wet, tingling with anticipation. Whether it was from restraining his desires lately, or from the talk of the risks involved, she couldn't be sure.

She ran a hand of his thigh, waiting for him to pull away, but he didn't, running fingers though her wet hair, and she took that as permission to unbutton his pants. She wanted him in her mouth, but as soon as she had him there, his knees buckling, his shaft throbbing in her hands, it was a reminder that once he came, there'd be no taking him inside her tonight. She didn't want to pass up that opportunity.

Standing, she kissed him hard and led him to the bed. Her robe slipped easily to the floor, and she knelt on the bed, angling her hips up and back to where he stood. He didn't waste time stripping off the rest of his clothes; the hem of his shirt brushed against her back as he pushed into her from behind. Immediately her mind went to that vision, so close to reality now. Her vaginal muscles undulated on him as he slid into her and withdrew, patiently at first, but not for long. She knew what it would feel like if they simply kept going, if they gave in to their natural urges, if he ejaculated deep inside her now. She could almost imagine it happening.

But soon Greg's movements became sporadic, trying to wrest control back from the brink. He lost his battle with himself, and before long, Maria felt him withdraw completely. A couple moments later, the hot stream of his seed hit the inside of her thigh and run down from there, a few fat drops pattering to the sheet below. It left her with an unfulfilled longing, but she still felt better than she had felt untouched.

She had Greg back, for now at least, and the coming days were as intense as their early times together had been. A couple weeks later, Maria got her period again. For her it was just like turning over a page of the calendar. But Greg seemed like a man on death row who'd just been pardoned. And in bed, it was like he was making up for lost time. He was starting to overcome his reservations about spilling his seed inside her, at least when it was safe like this. Maria got off on that every time.

Then that window passed, and they were back to their new normal. Maria thought of the weeks she had go to between these safe times. And if they could make this work, the years stretching out ahead of them. All the times Greg would build her up, and never bring her back down.

It was actually Greg who brought it up, during breakfast one morning. "Is there anything more I could do for you, like, in bed?"

"What do you mean?"

"It seems like you don't...get off...all that often," he said.

Part of it was that he did get off often, more easily and quickly than he used to, and that often had to put a stop to what they were doing.

Maria bit back the first couple responses that came to mind, until she found a more diplomatic way to put it.

"I think you and I both know what gets me off," she said. "And why I can't always have it."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to--"

"I have no complaints. Really," she insisted, trying to head off any conflict. Then it occurred to her, they were stable for now; maybe it was finally a safe time to reveal her kink.

"Actually...do you promise not to laugh?"

"Of course," he said.

"For as long as I can remember, one thing that consistently turns me on is...the idea of getting pregnant. I mean, not actually getting pregnant obviously, just...is that weird?"