The Philistine: a periodical of protest (Vol. II, No. 3, February 1896)

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Under the thrilling caption of “Three Hundred Dollars for a Girl,” I read that “an Italian sold his daughter to a man at Dunbar, Pennsylvania.” That is outrageous. No such sale should be allowed under a million dollars.

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Mr. Cudahy is sending a curious circular to his friends and his enemies, offering to supply his autograph, made with a rubber stamp, to all who apply. The circular has the somewhat startling headline, “The World is my Meat!” The closing paragraph of this address is as follows:

“Whether you have bought my book or borrowed it cuts no figure. As to paying a dollar to the Fresh Air Fund, that is all in a pig’s eye! Seventeen girls and a Forelady are constantly employed sending out my autographs. Should the rush continue, if necessary, I’ll put on a night gang—working double shift. Autograph Fiends should direct: Cudio of Mr. Studahy, Caxton Building, Chicago; thus avoiding the delay incident to the mail that goes _via_ the Abattoir.”

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Some jokes are funny because they are not humorous. Richard Mansfield is to renounce the stage for the lecture platform.

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By whom the offence cometh, let him heed the words of the Forecaster, for it is written in the twenty-sixth verse of the fourteenth chapter of Second Samuel:

“And when he polled his head, for it was at every year’s end that he polled his head; because the hair was heavy on him, therefore he polled it, he weighed the hair of his head at two hundred shekels.”

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His name is John Bryan of Ohio. Whoever says otherwise is a rogue and a varlet.

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A feature of the forthcoming _Boklet_ will be “How I Chase My Ink,” by the editor of _Monthly’s_.

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I hereby warn the public against a certain heretical book called _Fables and Essays_ by Hon. John Bryan, Member of Congress. The two fables in this issue are taken from this volume.

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The cabinet of Living Documents, I understand, contains a series which will make known to the world the attractions of a gentleman who has wrought literature by the barrel and is yet largely a creditor to fame. The pictures will be labelled in the usual per annum way—“Mr. Inkling at Nine Months,”—“Mr. Inkling as Othello, _etat_ 34,”—“Mr. Inkling at 50, etc.” Of course we all know that the well of English undefiled is the ink well, but it took the magazine that prints a million a month (references in Ann street) to point out by example and advertising the genius that flows from the molasses and glue roller. It used to be imagined that cerebration had something to do with literature, but we have changed all that. It’s just a question of tons of ink. Gray matter is not in it with dead black. _Vide_ _Munsey’s_ if you doubt it.

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An unknown correspondent writes me from New Medford, Massachusetts, stating that faint glimmering recollections of a former Philistinic existence flit across her mind as she contemplates Tenet Number Thirty Nine of our Creed: “This earth is Hell and we are now being punished for sins committed in a former existence.” Then she says that Dagon must be very merciful, otherwise he would not provide so many good laughs, supplied by his Inspired Servants the editors of THE PHILISTINE.

Thank you Unknown Fair One—(Subscription rates one dollar per year, payable to the Bursar).

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Mr. Cæsar Lombroso of the University of Tureen has fallen into the soup. Having found something he admired in another man’s book he pinched it. The other man, whose name is Jamin, brought suit and the godfather of Max Nordau was fined twenty-five hundred francs and costs. I have just figured out that had a man I know been fined this amount for taking his own wherever he found it, “he and some other fellows” would be in debt to the sum of sixty-three million piastres, with an alternative of a hundred and eighty years in gaol. Thank God! we live in a free country.

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A new woman has just written me that C. Lombroso, having told all he knew about the Female Offender, is now writing his autobiography.

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One of my most valued correspondents criticises my proofreading and alleges that she could do it better herself. She says, “The next time I pass through East Aurora I’ll stop off.” How can she pass through and still stop off? The gods give us joy! I fancy the sight of such an attempted feat would give me a new thrill.

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A whole half column of heavy criticism is leveled at the Philistines by the New York _Tribune_ because, as alleged, they “lauded Stephen Crane to the Skies” at the recent Square Meal. I don’t think it’s necessary to defend Mr. Crane against the Serious Critic, but one thing may be said in his favor by way of contrast: he knows a joke at sight.

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Some years ago, when Mrs. Dr. Barrows changed the name of her paper from _The Fireside Friend_ to _The Christian Register_, in a desire to be up to date, she was harshly criticised. But the _Register_ is hot stuff, just the same, although not orthodox.

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Judge Tourgee’s _Basin_ has a new cover. Now, if it could get a new inside, how nice it would be!

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It is time Bliss Carman came from Behind the Arras and told us about it.

WAY & WILLIAMS, Publishers, Chicago.

RUSSIAN FAIRY TALES: Translated by R. Nisbit Bain. Illustrated by C. M. Gere. 8vo., Ornamental Cloth, gilt top, $1.50.

OLD ENGLISH FAIRY TALES: By S. Baring Gould. With illustrations by F. D. Bedford. Octavo. Cloth, $2.00. London: Methuen & Co.

SHELLEY’S TRANSLATION OF THE BANQUET OF PLATO: A dainty reprint of Shelley’s little-known translation of “The Banquet of Plato,” prefaced by the poet’s fragmentary note on “The Symposium.” Title-page and decorations by Mr. Bruce Rogers. 16mo., $1.50. Seventy-five copies on hand-made paper, $3.00 net.

HAND AND SOUL: By Dante Gabriel Rossetti. Printed by Mr. William Morris at the Kelmscott Press.

This book is printed in the “Golden” type, with a specially designed title-page and border, and in special binding. “Hand and Soul” first appeared in “The Germ,” the short-lived magazine of the Pre-Raphælite Brotherhood. A few copies also on Vellum.

_For sale by all booksellers, or mailed postpaid by the publishers, on receipt of price._

WAY & WILLIAMS, Monadnock Block. Chicago.

Little Journeys

SERIES FOR 1896

Little Journeys to the Homes of American Authors.

The papers below specified were, with the exception of that contributed by the editor, Mr. Hubbard, originally issued by the late G. P. Putnam, in 1853, in a book entitled _Homes of American Authors_. It is now nearly half a century since this series (which won for itself at the time a very noteworthy prestige) was brought before the public; and the present publishers feel that no apology is needed in presenting to a new generation of American readers papers of such distinctive biographical interest and literary value.

No. 1, Emerson, by Geo. W. Curtis. ” 2, Bryant, by Caroline M. Kirkland. ” 3, Prescott, by Geo. S. Hillard. ” 4, Lowell, by Charles F. Briggs. ” 5, Simms, by Wm. Cullen Bryant. ” 6, Walt Whitman, by Elbert Hubbard. ” 7, Hawthorne, by Geo. Wm. Curtis. ” 8, Audubon, by Parke Godwin. ” 9, Irving, by H. T. Tuckerman. ” 10, Longfellow, by Geo. Wm. Curtis. ” 11, Everett, by Geo. S. Hillard. ” 12, Bancroft, by Geo. W. Greene.

The above papers will form the series of _Little Journeys_ for the year 1896.

They will be issued monthly, beginning January, 1896, in the same general style as the series of 1895, at 50 cents a year, and single copies will be sold for 5 cents, postage paid.

G. P. PUTNAM’S SONS, NEW YORK AND LONDON

A SHELF OF BOOKS.

LITTLE JOURNEYS

To the Homes of Good Men and Great.

By Elbert Hubbard. Series 1895, handsomely bound. Illustrated with twelve portraits, etched and in photogravure. 16mo., printed on deckle-edge paper, gilt top. $1.75.

THE ELIA SERIES.

A Selection of Famous Books, offered as specimens of the best literature and of artistic typography and bookmaking. Printed on deckle-edge paper, bound in full ooze calf, with gilt tops, 16mo., (6½ × 4½ inches), each volume (in box), $2.25.

⁂ There are three different colors of binding—_dark green, garnet and umber_.

First group: The Essays of Elia, 2 vols. The Discourses of Epictetus. Sesame and Lilies. Autobiography of Franklin. Thoughts of Marcus Aurelius.

NO ENEMY: BUT HIMSELF.

The Romance of a Tramp. By Elbert Hubbard. Twenty-eight full-page illustrations. Second edition. Bound in ornamental cloth, $1.50.

EYES LIKE THE SEA.

By Maurus Jokai. (The great Hungarian Novelist.) An Autobiographical Romance. Translated from the Hungarian by Nisbet Bain. $1.00.

G. P. PUTNAM’S SONS, NEW YORK AND LONDON.

THE CONSERVATOR.

PHILADELPHIA.

All communications intended for the Editor should be addressed to HORACE L. TRAUBEL, CAMDEN, NEW JERSEY.

Per Year, $1.00. Single Copies, 10 Cents.

HORACE L. TRAUBEL Editor. W. THORNTON INNES, EDWARD K. INNES, Business Managers.

FOOTLIGHTS.

_Footlights_, that weekly paper published in Philadelphia, is a clean (moderately so) paper, chock full of such uninteresting topics as interviews with actors, book gossip, news from London and Paris, short stories, woman’s chatter, verse and lots more of idiocy that only spoils white paper. It has a big circulation, and people read it, but no one can tell why.

“It has a disagreeable habit of speaking its own mind.”—_Philadelphia Press._

Do you want to see the absurd thing? If you do A POSTAL BRINGS A SAMPLE COPY.

FOOTLIGHTS, Philadelphia, Pa.

The Roycroft Printing Shop announces for immediate publication an exquisite edition of the Song of Songs: which is Solomon’s; being a Reprint of the text together with a Study by Mr. Elbert Hubbard.

In this edition a most peculiar and pleasant effect is wrought by casting the Song into dramatic form. The Study is sincere, but not serious, and has been declared by several Learned Persons, to whom the proofsheets have been submitted, to be a Work of Art. The Volume is thought a seemly and precious gift from any Wife to any Husband.

The book is printed by hand, with rubricated initials and title page, on Ruisdael handmade paper. The type was cast to the order of the Roycroft Shop, and is cut after one of the earliest Roman faces. It is probable that no more beautiful type for book printing was ever made, and, for reasons known to lovers of books, this publication will mark an era in the art of printing in America.

_Only six hundred copies, bound in antique boards, have been made and are offered for sale at two dollars each, net. There are also twelve copies printed on Japan vellum throughout, but which are all sold at five dollars each. Every copy is numbered and signed by Mr. Hubbard. The type has been distributed and no further edition will be printed._

THE ROYCROFT PRINTING SHOP, East Aurora, New York.