The Pleasures of Hell 01.003

But he didn't fit into any of those categories. He was unmarked, special. For better or worse, that at least meant he didn't have to worry about dying horribly at the moment, especially with Jes and Dao protecting him. Which meant he got to look around and admire how freaking awesome some of the environment was. Every so often, the path through the mountains revealed a random statue, and Jes and Dao insisted it hadn't been carved. Hell had grown it.

One of the statues gave him pause, one that was crouching in a ready-to-pounce position in the nook of a ravine wall.

"Holy shit," he said, "what is that?"

"That," Jes said, grinning at him as she came up beside him, "is a bolstara, one of the tetrad."

"Bo--"

"Yes yes I'll fucking explain, nerd. There's four big boss species of demon that have been around since the Spires War."

"Spi--"

She slapped him against the back of the head. Gently, but enough to shut him up.

"Later. So, tetrad demons. Big, giant, fucking scary. Hot as fuck though, right?" The gargoyle walked up to the half crouching demon, turned, and posed. "This is a statue of Zelandariel, spire ruler of Death's Grip. Hell does love to grow statues of spire rulers."

Jes was a few inches shy of seven feet tall. The bolstara demon was over ten feet tall, and she had four arms. Hooves, too, though her figure was more slender than Dao's more thick, curvy legs. She had four giant black horns that flowed backward, majestically even, and her skull elongated back behind her a bit, emphasizing the crown-like look. No wings, no tail, but her black hair tendrils flowed down from her skull, thick tendrils that were braided and filled with weird little spikes.

Oh, not spikes. Bones. Her tendrils had little bones weaved into them.

David walked up to the huge statue and looked up at her gorgeous face. No nose? No, she had a nose, but it was mostly flat and subtle, with tiny nostrils he almost couldn't see. From a distance, he couldn't see it at all, instead giving her face a really alien mask look that was exotic, and beautiful. Long, slender cheeks, and unusually narrow eyes that had long outer corners, like a woman emphasizing with mascara.

Unlike Dao and Jes, she was naked. That was a very slender stomach, and a couple of perky breasts. Not large, but it was kind of hard to even notice that, considering how complex and large the rest of her body was. He almost didn't notice the nipple chain connecting her nipples, and other bits of metal jewelry around her fingers, wrists, her ankles above her hooves, and a necklace.

Daoka clicked a few times.

"I know, right?" Jes said. "Fucking so damn hot. But she's not too happy with me, for leaving. Even less happy for trying to kill Diogo." Shrugging, she walked past Zel's statue, up to Dao, and kissed her. "But not as hot as you, big-titted goat bitch."

With some high-pitched fast clicks, Dao chuckled and kissed Jes back, before hopping away back onto the path. But she stopped a few feet along, turned, looked to David, and held out her hand. She thought he was a puppy, someone to protect. The strangest stroke of luck he'd ever received, and probably ever would. Awesome.

David gave the ridiculously tall, strangely hot four-armed demon a second glance. No tail and hooves, like a satyr, er, riiva, but the resemblances ended there. Even the four horns were different, Dao's curling so she could literally ram into people while Zel's flowed backward.

Hell was a strange place.

"Anyway," Jeskura said, "tetrad demons are the strongest demons around, since Belor died, last child of the Old Ones. And before you ask, tetrad because there are four types. Zel is a bolstara. There's fujara, korgejin and gorujin."

Wait a second. Gorgala and riiva, and Jes already explained some others, like tregeera, devorjins, and vratorins. Now a bolstara, fujara, korgejin, and gorujin. Weird species names, but there was a pattern there, a very weird pattern.

"Are the... fujara, female-like? And the korgejin and gorujin male-like? 'In' and 'a'?"

She grinned back at him.

"Figured it out quick."

Uh oh, ego stroke, his biggest weakness. He couldn't help but smile, and squirm.

"That's weird though. Why name the different sexes a different species?"

"'Cause they're not really different sexes. Ain't no demons down here giving birth."

"I... what?"

Laughing, she slipped an arm around his shoulders and hugged him to her side as they walked.

"Live long enough and maybe you'll get to see a hatchery."

"Hat--"

She squeezed her arm around his neck, putting a quick end to his question.

"Just focus on staying alive for now, okay? Keep your head down. We gotta make a trip near Gorzen Eye to find my friend Zreeg. He'll help us set up the traps and shit."

"Zre--"

"A borjin. Souls call them minotaurs. Come on." She let him go, flapped her wings, and leapt ahead.

Daoka stuck with David. In fact, she slipped her arm around his neck and shoulders, too, and clicked quietly at him. Almost a purr.

"I, uh..."

She clicked a few more times, and ran the blunt side of a claw down his chest, before leaning in closer and clicking more, again like a purr, lips inches from his ear.

"Yeah, I feel it too," Jeskura said.

"Um, feel what?" he asked, squirming a bit under Dao's arm. She didn't let go.

"Been feeling kinda tingly ever since yesterday. Not like I normally put my tongue inside Dao with fresh meat nearby, watching."

"R-Right." He gulped as Dao chuckled, clicked slowly a few more times, and traced her claw closer down his naked chest, his abs, and toward his crotch.

"Dao!" Jes slapped her tail against the stone. "It's not him. You feel a sin aura coming off him? 'Cause I don't. I don't know what's up, but it can't be coming from him. Something's definitely in the air, but he's just fresh meat who shouldn't be here."

Dao frowned and let go of David, but she smiled at him anyway as she hopped ahead.

Thank. God. He was half a second away from getting hard with the way Dao was all over him. Which itself was pretty weird. Wasn't she in a relationship with Jes? Jes didn't seem to mind, either. Open relationship? Or, just... a couple of demons that didn't mind putting a man between them for a sandwich every now and then?

He slapped himself in the face. The only option, with no access to a cold shower.

Jes looked back at him. "The fuck?"

"Nothing. Nothing." You're in the middle of Hell you god damn pervert. Focus!

After a quiet, pained groaned, he bounced his weight on his feet a few times, hopefully getting some blood flowing away from his dick -- if that was even how blood worked in his afterlife body -- before he jogged after them. And hey, his feet didn't hurt much anymore. Silver lining.

"I don't suppose I could get some clothes?" he asked. "I dunno, just... something so I'm not naked?"

"Ha. Yeah, maybe. You'll only be painting more of a target on your back, but I suppose if you're with us, any other demons who see us will just think you're a betrayer from a distance. Some demons let their betrayers wear armor when hunting. And hopefully any demon who sees us won't recognize Dao and me unless we get too close."

"You two are really wanted? Bounties on your head and stuff?"

Daoka clicked a few times, softly, head hanging, until Jes rubbed her shoulder.

"We are. That fucking asshole Diogo needs to die, and Tacitus too while we're at it. Just a couple shitlords who got into power because they're bigger than most, and they're making life hell for us."

Pun? Jes didn't smile. Not pun.

"Making life Hell? As opposed... to..."

Sighing, Jeskura shook her head as she sat down on a big boulder. They were almost out of the ravine between the two big mountains, the bigger one called Adam's Back according to Jes, but they still had a bit to go. Jes or Dao took thirty second rests frequently, usually on top of a ledge or big rock, something to give them visibility of the area.

"Okay, yes, for fresh meat Hell is always Hell. But for demons, sometimes it's good, sometimes it's not. Zel's got it up her ass to get ready for another war, so the bailiffs are cracking down, trying to get all the demons in Death's Grip cooperating. And they're not gentle about it. If we don't want to be part of the horde Zel is bound to eventually summon, the bailiffs kill us." Flaring her wings, she looked out to the ravine exit, growling, tail flicking left and right behind her. "Diogo killed our friend Leos to make an example. I'm going to kill him to make an example. First Diogo, and then Tacitus, so he leaves Daoka the fuck alone."

The look in her eyes made it clear, it'd be a bad idea to ask about Leos.

"So, um, assuming this Diogo demon, assuming he, uh... jumps out of the way of the rock you intend to roll onto his head. What happens after that?"

She snapped her red eyes down at him, and he froze.

"Then I roll a bigger rock. We got some time to set this shit up before we take you to him. We'll make sure the traps are good."

Something clicked into place about his two companions, and he winced as he looked past her down the ravine. It opened up, exposing the landscape, the distant red river, and more distant mountains. And rocks. And mountains. And stones. And mountains.

"Good luck setting up a trap that you can just... roll down a hill. This isn't some kinda dense jungle. This whole place is just big, open, and easy to fly over, right?"

"Demons can't fly."

"What?"

Jes stretched out her wings and gestured to them and their soft, red undersides.

"Demons can't fly. Glide, sure, but can't fly. Only angels can do that."

He nodded, taking his chin into his fingers. Good to know, good to know.

"So, the traps. There going to be netting?"

"Nope."

"Spike pits?"

"Nope."

"Uh... some hellbeast or whatever, that you can unleash?"

"No."

"Is there--"

"What's the problem, fresh meat? We're gonna set up some traps with Zreeg's help, dump a bunch of giant boulders on Diogo and his group, and kill him. I don't see the issue."

It clicked into place again. He'd known people like her in the past, people who wore their thoughts on their sleeves, and talked big game. They even had the enthusiasm and will to pursue those pursuits, right into the dumpster fire their plans inevitably became.

Jeskura was a dumbass.

He looked at Daoka, and found her nodding as she looked between him and the gargoyle. Even without eyes, he could see her totally trusting expression, the satyr putting her utmost faith in her lover.

Daoka was also a dumbass.

But, they were a pair of dumbasses who'd saved his life, and were plenty strong. And at least compared to the imps and grems he'd seen, and the other demons on the river, they were nice. He owed them.

"Okay, rolling boulders sounds great and all, until you try to do it. I know you're both strong, but it won't be easy. You'll have to roll a lot, and it's not like Diogo and his crew are just going to stand there and let themselves get flattened." He came out of the ravine a little further, squinted, and analyzed the mountains as best he could. "Will they have to go near one of the cliff walls on their trek?"

"The most common path from Gorzen Eye to the spire runs through a ravine, with a mountain on one side, yeah."

"A ravine, like this one?" He gestured around.

"Yeap."

He nodded, stroking his chin some more. "Then you might be able to set up a pincer trap. Or hammer and anvil, roll a bunch of rocks down from the ravine end toward them while you run at them from the back. Or maybe, if we're lucky, and Zreeg is as strong as you make him sound, you might be able to create a small avalanche. Find some really flat cliff face and smash the base of it, and it'll come tumbling down." Assuming Hell followed the laws of physics, which seemed suspect at best.

Jes and Dao looked at each other, said nothing for a few seconds, before Jes hopped down off her perch and came up to him.

"You got a brain?"

"What?"

She poked him in the forehead with her right wing's thumb claw.

"Brain. You're smart?"

"I uh... I think so."

"Think so?"

"I mean, high school was a breeze, and I was doing my second year at university without any trouble? So, I guess I am? A bit?"

She eyed him, leaned down until she was only a few inches from his face, and poked him in the chest again.

"You're a shitty liar, fresh meat. Come on, tell me the truth. What's going on in that head of yours?"

He groaned.

"I'm... very smart." Might as well. "Not a genius or anything, but yes, I am very smart. Honestly, when I realized I was being sent to Hell, I figured it was either because I have the sex drive of a bonobo, or because I'm proud. Very proud. I am very smart."

Jes stepped back, and smiled.

"I knew there was something I liked about you."

"I'm smart?"

"Nah, fuck that! I mean, I'll use that, it's useful." She came up, stood beside him, and wrapped one of her wings around him. He fit snug against the side of her chest and armor, and he gulped as he looked up at her. "You have no idea, fresh meat, how absolutely fucking oblivious most souls are to their own shit. Most of them can't even believe they're shitty enough to warrant being sent to Hell. Fucking nasty shits who don't know themselves in the fucking slightest. Not you, though."

"Really?"

"Yeah really. You probably didn't get along with people much, did you?"

Jes pulled no punches. The fact she was a demon and talked to him like she knew humans intimately made it very weird, and every time she opened her mouth, he was surprised by how familiar the way she talked sounded. For just a single, weird second, he thought he was being teased by one of the girls he worked with in class in university.

He was tempted to make a jab about her watching the scrying pool too much.

"No. I didn't."

"'Course not, cocky ass. You think humans like talking straight? Humans, at least the ones who end up here, are almost always lying, sniveling little shits who can't go three seconds without trying to trick other people, and more often, themselves. Bunch of cowards." Laughing again, she gave him a gentle headbutt with her forehead, and took lead of their little hiking group again. "You seem like you're honest with yourself. Demons are honest with themselves. Humans aren't."

He smiled after her, watching her tail sway from side to side. Okay, so, Jes and Dao weren't smart, but maybe they were wise? He never subscribed to the whole intelligence versus wisdom thing, but maybe he should have.

"You and Mia would get along," he said.

"Why's that?"

"She wanted to be a psychologist. Figure people out. Help them." And unlike him, Mia had no trouble wearing her empathy openly. David had lots of empathy, and it made him uncomfortable as hell. He was happier keeping it inside, in a nice box only he could open.

Mia was right. He could not stop analyzing shit, his own thoughts included.

"Hell could use a few shrinks," Jeskura said. "Lots of fucked up demons down here that could use a little help."

He laughed. "For a second, I thought you were gonna say she could help the souls down here. I... I keep forgetting where I am."

"I'd say you'll get used to it, but most fresh meat are dead in the first day, or only last a few weeks. Some can go a few months. Betrayers can go decades."

"Before they die of old age?"

She grinned back at him. "Nobody ages in the afterlife, fresh meat."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Beads of sweat dripped down his body, and he ignored them. The heat of Hell was relentless, and the breeze did nothing to settle it, but it never crossed the point of too hot. Uncomfortable, but not unlivable. He expected to reek with all the sweat eventually, but it didn't happen, either. All he could smell, was hints of rock, fire, and minerals on the breeze, and he was pretty sure the mineral smell was blood.

Jes and Dao didn't sweat a drop.

The closer they got to the Gorzen Eye cave, the more demons there were, and it wasn't long before David gave up on trying to study Hell. Every moment, every step, his eyes snapped around to the various boulders, ditches, and jagged small mountains and ravines that decorated their path, scanning for movement. Supposedly, deeper in the valley, there was a big cave, Gorzen Eye, where Diogo and hundreds of the demons in this part of Death's Grip, Gorzen Mountains, called home.

Who the fuck was Gorzen? Jes didn't know. Neither did Daoka. Jes said to ask Caera, which of course led to him asking who that was, and her just laughing and telling him he'd meet her later. Why was the mountain they'd just left called Adam's Back? Why was the river the portal had dropped him off over called Adam's Blood? Ask Caera, she might know. Who the fuck was Caera!?

Jes and Dao crouched low, and he crouched doubly low. If they were worried about the path ahead, it was probably a good idea he'd be doubly worried. He only poked his head up enough to get a glimpse over the rocks, and spot the demons moving in the distance. Lots of imps and grems flying through the air, clicking and screeching. No, not flying. Gliding. They climbed the cliffs and threw themselves off before opening their wings and catching the air, and did enormous circles in the sky.

David crouched lower. Maybe his red hair and freckles would blend him into the environment? A lot of the stones were black, but a lot of them were also red, or stained red by blood, hard to tell. Not many glowing amber veins were out there either, so as long David stayed close to rocks, he wouldn't be easy to spot.

The air shimmered with heat, blurring things, hopefully enough to make it harder to spot them.

Dao and Jes never looked up.

"Are we not avoiding imps and grems?" he asked.

Dao shook her head, clicking as she gestured to herself and Jes.

"Yeah, imps and grems aren't much of a worry," Jes said. "Just a bunch of chatterboxes only interested in spotting a meal. They don't listen to orders. Usually."

"They don't?"

"Nah. They're like squirrels."

"Squ--right, the scrying pools."

She grinned back at him. "Ever try and train a squirrel army and make it do your bidding?"

"No one's ever tried that. I think."

"Same thing. Best you can really get with imps and grems is coexistence. They do their own thing. And for some reason, Hell births more of them the more you kill." She shrugged, still crouching low and still heading down the valley.

"Hell births?"

"Jesus christ you never stop."

"Nope."

She laughed, quieter than usual, and grinned back at him before looking back up at the sky.

"Just, don't make any loud noises. I know this path well, and the demons who stay in Gorzen Eye don't usually take it."

"What about other demons?"

"Oh other demons take it all the time." She smirked. Sarcasm? He had no idea. "Dao will protect you while I'm gone. Unless it's a tregeera or devorjin, then she'll take you to safety."

He breathed deep, wiped the sweat from his brow, and--

"Wait. Jesus Christ. Did he exist?"

"Fuck me I don't know, fresh meat. Ask Caera. The only human I know of that was in the bible and in Hell was Cain, and nobody's seen him in fucking forever, long before I hatched."

"How long ago was that?" he asked, a billion questions rapid firing in his head. She eyed him, and snapped him in the thigh with her tail. "Ow! Hey!"

"Never ask a woman her age!"

"I... I... what the fuck?"

Daoka burst into laughter, failing to keep it suppressed, before slipping an arm around his shoulders and hugging him to her side again. He didn't mind.

Jes laughed too, of course.

"Hard to count the years down here, fresh meat. We don't have seasons."

"Oh. No way to count the years?"

"Just the scrying pools, or literally counting the days if you care enough. Most demons don't bother. But I must have been, I dunno, a few hundred days old when I saw my first scrying pool. That was the 60s, on the surface."