The Prettiest Girl in School

Moving further into the darkened garden Ben and Jan went towards where he thought the voices came from.

In the dim light they could only just make out the two figures struggling; a blonde sitting down while a man stood over her trying to grope her breasts as she attempted to push his hand away.

"Stop.... please stop.... I..."

"Ain't bin wiv a cripple fore, be nice to tick tha off me list." Tyler squeezed her tit hard.

"Get. Off. Me." Ashley shouted angrily as she slapped ineffectually at his arm.

Absorbed in their struggle neither noticed Ben as he stepped up and grabbed the man by his shoulders, roughly pulling him back away from the blonde girl.

"The lady said stop." Turning him so they faced each other, Ben still had no idea who he had just rescued.

"Fuck you arsehole, dis ain't nuffin ter do wiv you." Tyler snarled and took a threatening step towards Ben, "Now jus fuck orf fore I smash yer fuckin face in."

The retort was followed by a wild swing as the drunk attempted to throw a punch at him.

Ben was taller and bigger than his opponent and that, added to his basic army training, enabled him to parry the blow easily, grabbing Tyler's wrist as he did and twisting his arm up behind him.

"Aaahhhh fuck.... ger orf, yer... urting me."

"The lady asked you to leave her alone so I suggest you disappear now, before I break your fucking arm."

Ben shoved him forcefully away causing him to stumble and crash to the floor.

Slowly Tyler got to his feet, turning and rubbing his shoulder as he glared angrily back at him.

"Ok, ok.... Whaever, the bitch is bloody frigid anyway." He grunted and started to stalk angrily away, "Yer fucking welcome to er."

Waiting until the drunk was out of sight he turned back and started to speak.

"Are you o...."

Only to stop the moment he finally realised exactly who was sitting in front of him, his heart starting to thud urgently against his ribcage as he stared into a pair of blue eyes that, until a couple of months earlier, he never expected to see again.

"Ben!"

"Ash!"

"I.... I guess I should thank you."

Sitting in her wheelchair her stomach clenched into a tight knot and her heart began to race as all the feelings she had kept supressed since she was eighteen surged to the surface. Biting her lower lip, the tears glistened on her cheeks as she gazed up at her former boyfriend, barely able to tear her eyes away from him she struggled to form the words to say what she wanted to.

"I... I hope I didn't hurt your boyfriend." He took a step towards her, speaking first, his own eyes locked on hers.

This was the moment he had imagined, the moment when he needed to say everything that was swirling around inside him.

"Is this her?"

Jan interrupted them, taking hold of his arm as, for the first time, Ashley realised that someone was with him.

"Err yeah.... Jan meet Ashley. Ash this is Jan." Ben mumbled an introduction.

"Hi." Jan held out her hand but got no response from the blonde.

The tension was immediately apparent and for a moment the two women stared at each other, clearly sizing the other up.

'He has a girlfriend.'

The one unhappy thought flashed into her head.

"I.... I have to go. Thanks again Ben."

Spinning her chair around Ashley started to wheel herself hurriedly back towards the pub.

"Ash...." He started to call after her but she didn't stop.

"Well, I didn't expect things to happen quite like that." The brunette holding his arm looked into his face.

"Me neither."

"Do you want to go back inside?" Jan asked still clinging onto him, "And try to talk to her?"

"No, I think it's pretty obvious that ship sailed a long time ago, don't you?"

"I'm so sorry hon." She reached up and stroked his cheek, "You really do still love her though, don't you?"

Ben nodded, "She was my soul mate. I don't know how to stop feeling the way I do about her."

"Come on, let's call it a night and go home."

Inside the party Ashley was pale and shaking by the time she got back to the table.

"You ok hon? Where's Tyler? He went to find you." Trisha asked as Darren looked on with a concerned expression.

"He.... he's gone..... I.... I...."

Struggling to answer she broke down and putting her face in her hands she started to weep.

"Ash babe.... What's up, what happened?" Suddenly aware something was wrong Trish tried to console her, "Did you see Ben?"

"Y... y... yes but that wasn't it."

"So, where's Tyler." Darren finally spoke.

Ashley swallowed trying to get control of herself.

"He... he's gone. I was outside and he.... he attacked me. I think he was going to rape me." Trying not to break down again she started to relate what had happened.

"What!" Trisha exclaimed loudly causing several people to look round at her, "The fucking bastard."

"I... I tried to fight him off but.... oh God, he was going to...." Ashley started to cry again.

"It's ok you're safe now."

Slowly she composed herself and wiping the tears from her cheeks she sniffled, "Then.... then Ben was there."

"Ben?"

Ashley gave her friend a weak smile, "Yeah, you remember? The guy I've been telling you about. The boy I dumped seven years ago."

"And?" Now Trish was intrigued.

"He.... he pulled Tyler away from me and... and made him go."

"That's good isn't it? I mean you got to speak to him?"

She shook her head, "He was with someone. A girl. She was.... she was beautiful."

"Fuck!" Was all Trisha could think of to say.

"Can you take me home please?"

Chapter 5 - Time to Decide

Returning to work after the party was always going to be difficult for Ben.

After seeing Ashley face to face all the feelings he had for her had resurfaced from the depths where he had kept them locked away and now he couldn't suppress them again.

Remembering how she had callously and unceremoniously discarded him, just before they were supposed to go off to university, brought back all the hurt he had felt at the time.

People always told him how time heals everything but going back in to work on the Monday morning it didn't feel that way to him. He had been off over the weekend and had spent the time mulling things over in his mind and, even though he knew he still loved her, he also knew he couldn't stay, it was all too painful.

That night he ended up in his local pub with Jan, taking the opportunity to talk things through with her once again.

"What do you think I should do?"

She shook her head sending her long dark brown hair swaying about her slim shoulders, "I can't answer that for you Ben. You have to make that decision yourself."

"I know, I know, but it's almost impossible."

"So, decide what's your biggest problem?" Jan told him even though she knew what his answer would be, "Then solve it."

"I'm still in love with her. That's the problem." Ben snapped back rather more brusquely than he intended, "Even if she's moved on I still feel the same way about her."

"Are you sure? It's a big commitment to.... to be willing to take on someone who's...."

"Disabled?"

"Well yes." She agreed quietly.

"It doesn't matter to me. It's the person she is.... or was that's important."

"Then maybe you should have told her that last night."

"Are you joking? You saw how she reacted to seeing me." He snorted derisively, "She obviously has an arsehole of a boyfriend and isn't the slightest bit interested in me."

"I think that's debatable babe."

"Do you? I don't."

"So, we're back to where we started; what are you going to do?" She went back to the original question.

Picking up his pint he shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe I should just pack it in. Find something else and move away."

"Perhaps you should just talk to her?"

He shook his head, "No. I should never have come back."

"If you don't talk to her and find out how she feels then you'll never be able to move on."

"No. I should have stayed away. It was a mistake to think I could ever come home." The statement was said with a finality.

As a qualified paramedic he knew he had numerous options to transfer elsewhere in the country. All he had to do was apply for any vacancies once he had made a choice of where he wanted to go.

They continued to talk for another hour or more before Ben went home and, sitting down at his laptop, composed a letter of resignation. He had promised Jan that he would wait a week before handing it in but he wasn't sure he would, 7 days wouldn't make any difference to him so he might as well just get it over and done with first thing.

Ben was awake early the following morning and, after showering, he sat at his kitchen table, coffee in hand, and stared at the typed letter in front of him. His mind was made up, he was going to resign and look for something a long way away from Ashley Morrant.

He had told Jan he would take some time to think about his decision to go. Not that he thought he would change his mind, he was certain that he couldn't stay, not with the girl he was still in love with after seven years so close and yet completely out of his reach.

No, it would be best to leave and to leave quickly before anyone could persuade him otherwise.

He had had that decision fixed in his head when he had worded the letter, citing urgent family matters as his reason for going with immediate effect. Now with his mind set on his chosen course of action he finished off his morning coffee and prepared to leave for work.

Arriving early at the ambulance station he sat for a few moments in his car, taking his time to collect his thoughts.

'Am I doing the right thing by leaving?'

'Should I wait the week like I promised Jan?'

His stomach clenched and he suddenly felt apprehensive about his future. Telling himself he was being stupid he slipped out of the driver's seat and, feeling in his pocket for the letter, stared at the entrance to the main offices.

'Would it really matter if I wait a day or two?'

'Nothing much is going to happen in two days.'

Having second thoughts Ben decided to grab a coffee and just take a few minutes to think about everything. He still had the flat he was renting, he had no job to go to and he had his mother to consider, perhaps Jan was right when she had told him to take his time.

Turning to head towards the ambulance station he caught sight of a car pulling in to one of the parking bays. No more than thirty metres ahead of him he couldn't help but immediately recognise the blonde behind the steering wheel; it was Ashley.

For a moment they stared at each other, his heart pounding in his chest as he froze, thinking about what Jan had told him the previous evening when they had been in the pub.

She on the other hand quickly looked away and, busying herself with getting out of the car, ignored him completely.

Seeing his former girlfriend snub him so offhandedly just confirmed to him that he had made the right choice to go, however, now it was too late to deliver his letter of resignation, he would have to go back and do it later.

Making his way into work he got as far as putting the kettle on to make coffee for him and his partner, Susie Blanchard, when the radio squawked and they received their first call-out of the day.

It was only when he got home later that evening, exhausted from a hectic day, that he realised he still had the letter in his pocket.

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Monday morning Ashley travelled in to work as usual only this time there was a dark cloud of despondency hanging over her.

The events at the party, the incident with Tyler, coming face to face with Ben after all this time and having to deal with her feelings for her former boyfriend. had meant she hadn't slept well and felt utterly exhausted.

Parking her car, she lifted herself into her wheelchair.

'Was that Ben going into the ambulance station?'

'It really didn't matter now; he was with someone else.'

'He had done just what she thought he would and found himself a whole girl'.

As the thoughts filled her head she realised that her life wasn't ever going to be the same now that he was back and she could never be with him.

Miserably she wheeled her chair through the main office entrance and made her way to her workstation.

Hey hon." Trisha smiled, "Are you ok? I'm really sorry about the party and Tyler."

She had apologised profusely over the weekend but still felt awful about introducing Ashley to Darren's friend.

"It's alright, you weren't to know what he was like."

"Yeah but still....."

"How are you and Darren?" She asked wanting to change the subject to something less painful for her.

"I've told him if I ever see that piece of shit again I'll do something I'll regret." Trisha smiled weakly, "Although I'm pretty sure he's pissed off with him as well."

Ashley didn't answer, simply smiling back at her friend as she took over at her desk, plugging in her headset and preparing to field her first call as she reflected on how things had changed in just a few days.

'Could she stay here now Ben was back and with a girlfriend?'

'Where would she go if she left?'

'How could she start again with her disability?'

It would be so much easier if she had been telling the truth all those years ago when she said she wasn't in love with him.

"Ambulance service, what is your emergency?"

She answered the incoming call, work interrupting her deliberations of what to do about her problems.

In fact, for the next couple of hours Ashley was kept busy dealing with calls and it wasn't until she took her break, with Trisha, that she was able to think about things.

"So, have you spoken to Ben again?" Her friend asked as soon as they sat down in the small kitchen area.

"What for? After the party I feel a complete fool and.... and anyway, he's with someone now."

"To clear the air, be friends and...."

"And what?" Ashley whispered unhappily, a solitary tear trickling down her cheek, "How can I be friends with him? How can I see him with.... with her when I love him so much?"

"Babe." Trish reached over and squeezed her hand, "I don't know the answer to that but what I do know is, if you don't make some sort of peace with him you're never going to be happy."

She didn't answer and, trying to smile, wiped away another tear before taking a mouthful of coffee.

'Would she ever be happy again?'

That thought was still in her mind when, with their break over, the two girls went back to work leaving the matter of Ben still unresolved. It wasn't until she eventually got home that evening that Ashley was able to consider it again.

Making herself a cup of tea she sat at the table and, once more, let herself consider Ben McKendrick.

'She had been right to let him go, hadn't she?'

'He would have left her eventually anyway, wouldn't he?'

'Why did she still love him after all this time though?'

There were so many questions and, sitting there, she realised she didn't have answers to any of them. She was still staring into space nearly thirty minutes later, totally lost in her thoughts, when the doorbell rang.

Not expecting anyone she frowned and wheeled herself out to the small hallway to open the door only to stop, staring open-mouthed at the figure in front of her.

"Hi, it's Ashley isn't it? I don't know if you remember me?" The tall, rather glamorous brunette at the door asked quietly.

"Yes, you're Jan, aren't you? You were with Ben, at the party."

She nodded, "Yes that's right. Can I come in?"

"Oh err.... yeah... of course."

Taken by surprise she moved aside and let Jan Mitchell step past her.

"Would you like a tea or coffee?"

Following her visitor through into the small living room Ashley asked, partly out of politeness but mostly to give herself time to think.

"A tea would be lovely. If it's not too much trouble."

"No, it's.... umm.... it's fine. How do you take it?"

"Milk no sugar please."

"Sure. Take a seat and I won't be a minute."

Alone in the kitchen she sat back in her chair, her mind in a whirl as she tried to figure out what Ben's girlfriend was doing at her apartment.

'Had she come to warn her off?'

'Had Ben sent her?'

It was the only thing she could think of as she made two cups of tea, balancing them both on a tray to take back into the lounge.

"Thank you." Jan graciously accepted the drink she was offered.

For a moment the two women stared at each other, both absorbed by whatever was going on in their minds.

"I guess you're wondering why I'm here?" Jan finally broke the uncomfortable silence that had settled over them.

"To warn me to stay away from your boyfriend I expect?" Ashley's response was a little more acerbic than she intended.

Staring at the other girl Jan's eyes crinkled with amusement before she burst out laughing at the comment.

"You don't have anything to worry about, I don't want him." Ashley lied as her visitor sat doubled up chuckling heartedly.

"What's so funny?"

Slowly Jan composed herself, wiping the tears from her eyes as she smiled back at the blonde girl opposite her.

"I love Ben to bits. He's the sweetest, nicest guy I've ever met but if I live to be a hundred I'll never be interested in him that way."

"Why what's wro...."

Stopping mid-sentence Ashley stared at the other woman, her cheeks turning scarlet as realisation finally filtered through to her.

"You've got it. Jan giggled, "Now if it were you that would be a different matter."

"Oh I.... I'm not.... I thought you and Ben were...."

That set Jan off laughing again and it was a few minutes before she was able to reply.

"I've known Ben for five maybe six years and I really love him to bits, but as a friend, nothing more."

Ashley just blushed profusely and suddenly found herself very interested in her tea.

"He's dated a few girls but in all that time that I've known him there has only ever been one woman in his heart." Jan stared at the blonde, "He's always been in love with you."

"Me.... but I... he has....."

"And you love him," The brunette continued, "That's totally obvious to anyone with half a brain."

"Does.... Does he know?"

"He's a man, of course he doesn't." Jan shook her head, "He thinks you've moved on and stopped loving him years ago."

"Oh my God, what... what am I going to do?" Ashley mumbled, starting to cry.

"I suggest you tell him how you feel before he goes."

"Goes!" Alarmed she sat up, wide-eyed, "Goes where?"

"He said he can't stay here and see you every day. I'm not sure what he plans to do but he said he'd wait a week before putting his papers in."

Ashley sat back.

'She could still put this right.'

"I've.... I've got time then? To tell him?"

Jan smiled and nodded.

For the next hour the two girls discussed what she was going to do before the brunette took her leave. Ashley thanking her profusely as they said their goodbyes.

That night in bed she lay back and stared up at the ceiling as, for the first time since Ben had gone, she felt a glimmer of hope in her heart.

'Did he really still love her after everything?'

'Would he forgive her for what she did?'

Waiting for sleep to come she realised that while her questions had changed she still had no answers for them but maybe tomorrow she just might.

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"We've got a shout."

Ben had just stepped out of his car, intending to deliver his resignation letter, when Susie yelled across the parking area.

Forgetting everything else he ran for the ambulance, almost falling into the seat as his partner hurriedly briefed him with the details.