The Problem With Immortality Ch. 12

"That's it, just a tongue"" Stephenson said. He opened up the bag, and took out the four different samples of meat, and put them on the giant tongue. It flinched as he dropped them.

"It moved!"

"Of course. It's alive," said Stephenson. As he went to his holocontrol panel, the tongue started to wriggle as it reacted to the food, making rapid little jabs forward and backwards.

"I'll bet I could find other uses for that," Jessica whispered, who was half-mesmerized by the sight of it.

"Let's see what we have here," said Stephenson, looking at the outputs. "Protein content, bitterness level, acidity, basic atomic structure, alkaline levels... hm... hm... hm...."

"Professor?" said Anson. "What does it say?"

"They're the same," said Stephenson.

"They taste the same?"

Stephenson rolled his eyes. "They taste the same. They are the same."

"What do you mean?"

He pointed at a DNA analyzer. "See for yourself. These are all from the same cow."

"Not a cow from Norway, and one from the Dominican Republic, and-"

"The same cow. And it looks like the same part of each cow too," said Stephenson.

Jessica looked at Anson. "So... all those foodgasms... all that great discrimination in taste...."

"It was all in their minds," said Anson. "It was all in the presentation. Bring people to a fancy restaurant. Charge them a sky-high fee for dinner. Read the resume of each food dish. The mind supplies the rest."

"Do you think that could work with Odour? You know, if we didn't tell him...."

"No," said Anson. "Not for a moment."

"Oh," said Jessica, her shoulders slumping.

They thanked the Professor and went back to their hotel. Once they got to their room, Jessica started taking off her clothing.

"There are some other possibilities we can explore," said Anson, as Jessica took off her blouse. Her large C cup breasts were encased in a lovely black lace bra.

"There's a man who runs a super tasting service I think we should look into," said Anson, as he watched her unclip her bra. Her large breasts sagged with gravity, but were still beautiful.

"What are you doing?" Anson asked.

"Getting ready for sex," said Jessica, pulling down her pants. "That tongue made me horny!" She pushed down her panties, revealing her pubic hair. She was blonde on top and dark down there, but that didn't make her the pink slit between her legs any less attractive. She went over and kissed Anson. Anson kissed her back.

She looked over at him. "Get those clothes off. I think you've got some fucking to do, mister."

"No," said Anson.

"No?"

"I'm... too tired," said Anson.

"Too tired? That's a girl's excuse! You're joking, right?" said Jessica, looking oddly erotic as she put her hands on her hips, while totally nude. She spread her legs to give him a better view of her vagina.

"Yeah, too tired," said Anson. "Listen, we'll do this another time, ok?"

Jessica gave him a dirty look, then turned away.

********

Andrew Covell always resented his mother.

As a child, she would keep telling him, "You must eat, Andrew, eat! You are so thin!" And she would force him to eat all kinds of exotic food, spicy food, wet food, food mixed with many strong tastes, food that would make him gag.

All Andrew wanted to eat was plain bread, and plain hamburgers, and plain noodles, and watered down juice. That's right, regular juice was too strong for him. But his mother never understood his weird tastes, and always forced him to eat more, even when it made him throw up (which she blamed him for, saying he "wanted" to dislike her food).

Andrew eventually grew up, and after leaving his parents' household, was able to adapt to a diet he could better tolerate.

It wasn't until 30 or so years later that Andrew found the answer: he was a super taster, a person who had twice or more the average number of taste buds in his mouth, relative to an average person. Because he had more taste buds, he tasted flavors much more strongly than the average person.

The phenomena of super tasters had been discovered hundreds of years earlier, way back in the 20th century, but was simply not widely known in the general population. If it had, perhaps Andrew's mother would have been kinder to him.

Although Andrew could not tolerate spicy or rich foods, bland food tasted very flavorful to him. He could taste the yeast and salt in plain bread, and it tasted wonderful. He could taste the flavor in plain beef, even when it was cooked to well done, and it was delicious, even without any garnishes or spices. The same went for plain noodles and plain rice. Plain white rice! It tasted extraordinary.

Over time Andrew realized his relative disability might be able to be turned into a profitable advantage. He teamed up with a bioengineer to produce a substance which could temporarily enhance taste buds to four times their normal sensitivity.

"...so we would be eating bread and white rice?" said Anson, looking skeptical.

"Yes," said Andrew, smiling at Anson and Jessica. "It will taste wonderful. Like the most exotic gourmet meal you've ever eaten."

"Why can't we just eat an exotic gourmet meal?" Anson asked.

"Well, of course, you can. But what people are on the prowl for are new dining experiences. There hasn't been much new invented under the sun, foodwise speaking, for hundreds of years."

Anson had to admit that Andrew was right. "All right. We'll give it a try. It's totally reversible, right?"

"Totally," said Andrew. "In fact we'll give you the most temporary of treatments; it will automatically wear off in an hour. And I'll give it free of charge."

"Thanks," said Anson, who was still sore from paying 30,000 credits for a meal for him and Jessica.

But then, Andrew knew why Anson was here and who he represented. Andrew's business was not established, like Signorelli Manfrau's, Andrew was still in the process of starting up. And having a big name like Francisco Odour use his service would be a big public relations boost for him.

The treatment was very anti-climactic. A few drops of liquids were put on their tongues. Anson felt a tingling, and then, growing more and more strongly, a bitter, foul taste. He instinctively started to spit some of the substance out.

"That's the test taste; that's how you know it's working," Andrew smiled at him. "With your normal taste buds, the Serum would be virtually tasteless. Here, have some slightly scented water to remove the taste."

Anson and Jessica each drank from a cup of water which had a tiny piece of lemon in it.

"Mmmm," said Anson, nodding to Jessica. "That's a strong lemon taste!"

Andrew smiled again. "Five minutes ago you would have told me you couldn't even taste the lemon. Try some food, please."

Before them were trays of different kinds of plain food. Anson spooned some white rice. He hated white rice. It was so bland! He ate rice, but always with a mix of seasoning.

But now plain white rice tasted so rich and bold. It was like opening his mouth to an entirely new world of taste.

"Ummmm!" said Jessica, nodding up and down vigorously as she felt the same.

"Trust me, I've never seen her this happy with her mouth full before," said Anson.

That got him a kick under the table, but when Jessica finally swallowed, she smiled and said, "This stuff's wonderful!"

"It's plain rice. And plain noodles. And plain everything else. Dig in, my friends, dig in!"

Anson and Jessica sampled everything. For the first time in a long time, they felt that what they were doing was so enjoyable because it was so safe; they weren't in a fraudulent spaceship simulation, they weren't being brainwashed in a monastery, and they weren't risking their lives in shark infested waters. All they were doing was sitting in a room and eating foods which were entirely unthreatening. There was a certain comfort, to the simpleness of it.

And the food tasted wonderful. Anson never knew that plain beef, or plain white bread, could have such flavors. And not just single flavors! With every bite of a piece of bread, he felt richness, layers of flavor.

"Try these," said Andrew excitedly, handing him a tray of several pieces of bread.

"What about them?"

"One is fresh. One is two hours old. One is four hours old, the last is six."

Anson gave him an odd look, but bit into pieces of each slice of bread. They all tasted different! They each had a unique flavor.

"You're brilliant!" said Anson, and Andrew beamed, and suddenly, he felt a little better about his bad experiences in childhood.

But then, after a while, Andrew wheeled out some new samples.

"What are these?"

"Baked Parmesan Zucchini, and Caramelized Broccoli with Garlic," said Andrew.

Anson gave him an odd look. He took a bite of the Zucchini. It tasted incredibly bitter. He spit it out.

"What was that?" Anson said.

"Baked parmesan zucchini," said Andrew patiently.

Jessica tried the caramelized broccoli. She screamed and spit it out.

Andrew smiled as he recalled memories of childhood.

"Awful," said Jessica, rubbing her tongue with a napkin. "What did you put in this?"

"Nothing unusual," said Andrew. "It's you who have been changed."

And then they finally understood that this was the end of the demonstration. They had been given the ability to taste wonderful things from very plain, very basic foods. But the price they had to pay for it was the inability to eat most other foods that had stronger or combined flavors.

"So now we can only eat a handful of very plain kinds of foods?" said Anson.

"Yes," said Andrew. He smiled. "You're just like me."

"I don't think this is going to work for our client," said Anson.

"But just think about the richness of white rice he will never experience! The varied flavors of plain bread, or plain chicken breasts!"

Anson shook his head. "Sorry. The price is simply too high."

********

Later that evening Jessica sipped some wine in their hotel room. She violently spat it out.

"Bitter?" said Anson.

"Still!" said Jessica.

"Andrew did say the full effects would take a few hours to wear off," said Anson. He sipped some wine experimentally. It tasted bitter, but much less than it had an hour ago.

Jessica made a face, and started to strip off her clothing. In moments she was nude, and looking expectantly at him, as she tentatively rubbed her vaginal lips.

"Yes?" said Anson, looking up.

"I need your penis," said Jessica simply. "Inside my vagina. Now, please."

Anson shook his head. "I have too much work to do."

"It will only take a few minutes," said Jessica. "Please, Anson! I have to come. I can't eat normal foods. I have to experience some kind of pleasure!"

"I'm sorry," said Anson.

"What's gotten into you?" Jessica demanded. "Ever since you changed back from being a woman, we haven't... you know... done it. Have you... are you no longer attracted to women?"

Anson put down his datapad. "No! No, no! You're very sexy, Jessica."

"Then fuck me!" said Jessica, sitting down on his lap, and putting her hands around his shoulders.

"I... I can't," said Anson.

"What is it?" Jessica demanded, jumping up. She looked funny, putting her hands on her hips, standing there totally naked.

"It's... this job," Anson lied. "It looks like we're going to fail."

"Everyone fails sometimes, darling," she said, rubbing a hand on his back.

"But it's my biggest commission," said Anson. "It will be a spectacular failure on my record."

"So... you're upset about it?"

"Yes," said Anson.

"I could help ease your pain," she said, snaking a hand between his legs.

"I appreciate it," said Anson. "But I'm just not in the mood right now."

"Men!" Jessica shouted. She marched to the comm and activated it, not caring that she was totally naked.

"Room service!" she fairly shouted.

"Yes," said a robotic voice at the other end.

"I'd like a male sex worker in room... 821," said Jessica. "I'd like one with at least a six inch penis, please."

"Anything else?"

She looked over at Anson. "Yes. Preferably brown hair, light blue eyes, at least six feet tall. And by the way, that six incher? On second thought, better make that a seven."

"Yes Ma'am."

Jessica turned to Anson. "We'll try to be quiet-like. I know you have important work to do."

********

"I'm still confused," said Anson. "How can you say that you are not eating people?"

Jason Fairfax had had a life changing experience in the Andes, nearly 200 years ago.

He had been on a stratoliner which had crashed in bad weather into a mountaintop. Most of the crew and passengers had been killed instantly. It was a miracle that anyone had survived. But 17 of the 296 passengers survived, saved by the plane cracking into two parts before it exploded. Those few who weren't flung out of the plane instantly in the second section managed to survive.

At first, they huddled on the frozen mountaintop, some 10,000 feet up in the sky. They expected rescue quickly. Surely they would be reported as missing. Surely the plane's locating beacon would be traced. Surely satellite surveillance could find them.

Their plane had been reported as missing, but the locator beacon had been destroyed in the crash. And the plane had crashed during a tremendous snowstorm, so the wreckage was covered in just hours.

The passengers waited a day for rescue. Then two. Then three.

They ran out of food. They were starving.

And then it was Jason who lit a fire and cooked the first batch of... beef. It was stringy and tough, but had a tangy flavor.

At first the other survivors were horrified. But hunger drove them to try it. They too started to eat beef.

The corpses, preserved by the cold, started to lose bits and pieces of flesh; around the buttocks, the legs, the arms, and the chest.

Over time Jason started to notices differences in flavor. Buttock meat was softer, more flavorful. Arm meat was toughest, and hardest to swallow.

By the time rescuers discovered them, twelve days later, they had eaten their way through 22 fellow passengers. The rescue team discovered the half eaten bodies and accepted the lame story that they were "eaten by wolves", even though wolves don't make even cuts of flesh with knives and forks.

After that event, Jason found he was fascinated by the taste of human flesh. He tried to sample the flesh of as many other animals as he could, but none approached the richness of human flesh.

And for a hundred years, Jason was forced to abstain from his favorite food.

But then there were rapid advancements in cloning technology. Jason huddled together with a geneticist, a technological biologist, and a food ethicist and decided to launch People Eats.

"They are not people," Jason assured Anson. "They are merely cloned body parts. Here, let me show you."

He punched up a holo, showing row after row of tubes, filled with bodies being grown. The bodies had arms, and legs, and chests, and necks...but no heads.

"They're people. You just chop off their heads," said Anson.

"No, Mr. Ford, there is no chopping of heads in People Eats," said Jason. "The stem cells representing head growth are simply removed at inception. We only clone body parts."

"But... those are body parts of people," said Jessica, with obvious dismay.

"Not people. People have heads. These have none," said Jason. "Oh, technically, the flesh has the DNA of human beings, but these are definitely, definitely not human beings. The World Government has sent the Department of Human Rights to investigate me on four separate occasions. They have found no human beings in my cookery."

Anson looked at Jessica. She was clearly disgusted by this idea. But he thought it might be perfect for Francisco Odour. Odour clearly despised people. The idea of consuming them might appeal to him.

"What is your menu selection like?" Anson asked.

"The same as you would find in many popular restaurants," said Jason. "Breast, thigh, sirloin, top round, bottom round, all cuts of meat well known to most diners."

"From women and men?" Jessica asked.

"No, only women," said Jason.

"Why not men?" Jessica asked.

"There's no demand for it," said Jason. "Women meat is more flavorful and juicy." He smiled at her. "Ms. Dhomes, you look like you'd taste a lot better than Mr. Ford."

Jessica gave Anson an uncomfortable look.

"Hahahaha," said Jason. "Just joking, of course. We also have other meat choices, such as dark meat and white meat. People usually find dark meat more juicier than white meat."

"Dark meat? White meat?" said Anson.

"Sorry," Jason grinned. "I mean meat from black people or white people. The flesh of black people is juicer, but higher in fat content. Meat of white people is healthier, but dryer."

"And Asian meat?"

"There's no demand for it," said Jason. "Too tough. Too stringy. Not enough meat on the bone." He paused. "If you're interested in white meat, we have several different kinds--blonde, brunette, and redhead."

"You categorize your meat based on the hair color of your cloned body parts?" said Jessica.

"Hair color correlates highly accurately to different meat flavors. We're not entirely sure why. Breast meat of blondes is sweetest, brunettes are juicer, and redheads... oh redheads," said Jason, rolling his eyes.

"What about redheads?"

"Oh my God. Some of the very finest cuts of beef I've ever tasted," said Jason. "You have to try it and see. Say--would you like to go to one of our tasting rooms? We're having a sampling right now."

Anson and Jessica looked at each other.

"Absolutely not," said Jessica.

"Sure," said Anson.

They were led to a room where people were sitting around a big table, munching on different kinds of... meat.

Jason recognized a regular and clapped him on the back, a large balding fat man. "Hello, Mr. Anderson! Back for another sample, I see!"

"Yes. This stuff is great. I tried to get my wife to come, but she doesn't like to eat women," said the man, chewing on what appeared to be a thigh bone. He burped as he put it down and licked his fingers. "Hey, any chances of adding some young girls to the menu?"

"We're working on it, Mr. Anderson," said Jason. "Adding veal to the menu is one of our top priorities."

Jessica looked at Anson with horror in her eyes.

Anson watched the people eating. If he didn't know what they were eating, it would have looked like a steakhouse. People were cutting slices of meat, eating burgers, spooning beef stew... all things that should have been ordinary.

"Would you like to try something, Mr. Ford?" said Jason. "Perhaps a Girl Burger?"

"Girl Burger?"

"Ground thigh ground beef from a delectable redhead. 100% ass fed beef."

"Ass fed?"

"We have found that meat that is fed through a tube in the ass is much more flavorful than meat that is given nutrients the traditional way. In fact, all the food you see here is 100% certified ass fed," said Jason. He held up a burger. It looked really juicy. "Would you like a Girl Burger?"

"No thanks," said Anson.

"How about some sirloin?" Jason asked, indicating a platter of meats. "This comes from one of our finest brunette clones. Her ass meat is simply the tastiest thing you will ever eat."

"What is this?" said Jessica, pointing to a platter filled with very familiar body parts.

They looked like breasts. Cooked human breasts.

"Breast meat, of course," said Jason.

Jessica looked at the cooked female breasts.

Jason whispered in her ear. "It's honey glazed, cooked in an old-fashioned wood-fired oven, and stuffed with wild peppers and mushrooms, and with a cherry on top!" he added, pointing to the teats, which were each covered with a large red cherry.

They saw a diner eating a breast, using a fork and knife to cut off the cherry encrusted nipple on top. "Uuummm," he said loudly, rolling his eyes as he popped the cooked nipple in his mouth, chewing appreciatively. The meat was hot; a thick stream of steam was coming out of the hole on top where the nipple once was.