The Riddle of Maya

"I mean...we were right, though," Mike chipped in from the far side of the couch. We had arrived home some fifteen minutes, and I'd managed to relay the whole story to my friends (minus Maya's jab at Sarah), Sarah having only gotten home ten minutes before Mike and I had. I felt guilty, laying this vicious story on her as she was settling in for the night, but she was my friend and deserved to know. She'd listened to the whole ordeal with an expression that had gone from confusion, to shock, and had concluded with outright disgust.

"Shut up, Mike. That bitch-she spends all this time treating you like shit, and then forces herself on you like some sort of fucking predator? I ought to walk into that store soon and break that cunt's nose."

"Sarah," I said, startled, "please, no. Don't do it, it's not worth it."

"I think it would be fuckin' worth it," she grumbled.

"So what now?" Mike interjected. "I mean...how are you gonna deal with it?"

I put my face in my hands. Fuck, Mike was right...what WAS I going to do when I went back to work on Sunday? She was scheduled that same day, and I'd be cooped up in the same space with her the whole time-to say nothing of the rest of the days, weeks, months and maybe years I might be forced to be around her.

"Well," I said, looking back up, "I can't just quit, I need the money. I can't ask Wyatt or Eric to schedule me around Maya, they'll get suspicious. I don't really want to tell them what happened, either, because it'll probably cause a whole lot of problems and send her bitch mode into overdrive."

"No it wouldn't, because he'd probably fire her, man," Mike said, "that would solve your problem."

"Are you kidding? She'd be out for blood if that happened."

"No she wouldn't be," said Sarah, rolling her eyes, "she's, like, in love with you, Ash. Part of me honestly thinks that instead you should just confront her after work and talk to her about it, as uncomfortable as that sounds."

"What?!"

"I mean it, it's an option! Look, she acted like an asshole, but maybe you can talk it out and make sure she understands that what she did was unacceptable!" She shrugged, her point made.

"I mean...I don't know," I said, "I'm just so pissed off-more so about the fact that she's been treating me like shit just because she can't express her feelings, or whatever, than I am about her jumping me, honestly. I mean, I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it to some degree, and part of me actually wanted to take her out back and fuck her 'til she couldn't move. It's just...it's the dishonesty that hit me so hard. I hate it when people are dishonest with me."

"I know," Sarah said quietly, "and I'm sorry that it happened, I really am. I wish she had just been open from the start; it's awful that you had to endure all the bullshit she put you through. But Mike is right; all we can do is try to figure out a game plan."

"My game plan goes like this: I'm not going to do anything." I spoke firmly and with a tone of finality, looking Sarah and Mike in the eye, respectively. "I'm going to go back there on Sunday and pretend like nothing happened. I'm not going to risk damaging our work relationship-or my job security-any further without good reason. So unless she starts any shit, I'm just going to keep my head down and try to move past it."

Mike and Sarah looked at each other, then Sarah spoke. "Look, bullshit aside, if just keeping your job is the goal, then go for it. Sure, it'll involve you awkwardly working with a woman who essentially sexually harassed you, but...well, hey, you have bills to pay."

"I get it," I grumbled, "but I also could have put a stop to it sooner. It was fucked up of her, yeah, but it was also my fault for being a horny piece of shit."

"You were also drunk," she said sharply, "and she cornered you. So, in my opinion, it was mostly her."

"Maybe you're right," I said, "but I don't feel like looking for a new job right now. I've made my decision."

"I'm just wondering how it'll play out," Mike said, "Maya doesn't strike me as someone who lets things go, so I hope you know what you're doing."

So do I, I thought grimly. I really, really hope that I do.

*****

Sunday came, and with it the hour of reckoning that I'd been dreading ever since the discussion with Mike and Sarah. They had hung out with me as much as possible on Saturday-Sarah had even mentioned calling in sick at work, but I wouldn't hear of it-and, overall, they did a solid job of distracting me from what was sure to be an awkward and trying day back on the grind. But, as evening crept up on my world and Sunday loomed menacingly over my head, the worry began to trickle into the back of my mind. I found myself wondering grimly, as I got dressed that morning, if this was how convicts in the Old West felt as they were marched to the gallows. This was hyperbolic, to be sure, but that didn't make me feel any better as I walked through the front door of my work at nine A.M., where Trent and Eric were getting ready to open up.

"Hey Ash, what's up man?"

"Oh, uh, not much. How's things with you, Trent?"

"Could be worse, at least I'm not in church."

I smiled as I walked past my coworker to the front counter, where Eric appeared to be running over some inventory. He turned to me as I approached the computer, ready to clock in.

"Hey man. I heard about the blow-up with Maya, you gonna be all right when she shows up today?"

"Yeah. Who told you?"

"Wyatt heard about it from Reese, then Wyatt told me. It sounded pretty weird-why would Maya think that you were having your friends harass her?"

"I have no idea," I said, sighing, "it happened, though, and I just want to get through the day without more bullshit."

"Well, look, you didn't hear this from me, but," he lowered his voice, "Wyatt said he was going to bring you both into the back office later today and ask you about it. So...be ready, I guess."

"Great. Thanks for the heads-up."

He nodded and turned back to his inventory work. I clocked in, then walked back to the door, turning on the neon 'open' sign in the window. The day had begun, and with it the countdown. My worries increased exponentially: now Wyatt was going to get involved, and while he wasn't an unreasonable guy, part of me wondered if he'd take Maya's side and either write me up or just flat-out fire me for Thursday's incident and my aggressive response to Maya's accusations. The rational part of me didn't think that that would happen, but who among us is ever an entirely rational thinker all of the time? He valued Maya, and while he liked me, I was arguably more disposable than she was in the grand scheme of things-and that was cause enough for worry in my mind.

All I could do was wait for the hammer to fall and keep myself busy for the duration; I couldn't afford to give Wyatt any more reason to doubt me. But as the morning wore on into afternoon, the surprises just kept on coming as Trent and Eric clocked out at three and Jodi and Maya clocked in. I had expected Maya to be ready to rip into me harder than ever-but instead, as she walked by me towards the counter, she looked at me with a completely neutral expression and simply said "hey, Ash."

I tried not to let my surprise show, and replied "hey Maya."

Nothing further was said. She went to the counter to clock in, leaving me both confused and worried. What was happening? Was she taking the same 'don't bring it up' approach that I had decided to adopt? Maybe, I thought, as I went back to alphabetizing the used PS3 game cases. What would happen when Wyatt eventually questioned us about the events on Thursday, though? Was she going to paint me like some sort of insubordinate asshole? Was she-

Wyatt stuck his thin, bespectacled face out of the office door and called out to his assistant manager, who looked up and over at him.

"Maya, you're in, good! Hey, come on back for a minute, okay?"

"Yeah, on my way, Wyatt."

"Thank you!" There was a click as the door closed again. Maya didn't look at me while she finished whatever she was doing and strode over to the office, opened the door, walking inside and closed it behind her. My Spidey sense began to tingle; it was about to go down, I could feel it.

I remember thinking that I should change my name to Nostra-fucking-damus as Wyatt leaned out of the office a short while later and called out, "Hey-o, Ash, can you come on back for a minute?", before ducking back in and closing the door. Fucking Wyatt, I thought, he always had to stay fucking friendly even when shit was going bad; it was almost condescending, I thought bitterly. I looked over at Jodi-who was working on reorganizing the new 360 games after a pair of preteens had torn through them-and she gave me a worried glance, biting her lower lip. I shrugged, gave her a 'what can you do?' look, and started toward Wyatt's office. It was time to face the music...and hopefully, it would be a tune I could dance to.

*****

"Hey Ash, go on and close the door behind you, then have a seat."

Wyatt's bright green eyes shone from behind his thick, black-framed glasses and he leaned back in his office chair behind his desk. On it were countless video game-related knick-knacks: Pokémon figurines, a Legend of Zelda lunchbox and a Contra coffee mug, among other oddities, were arranged like toy soldiers across its' surface. The walls were plastered with framed promotional posters for video games, some of which dated back to the '80's and '90's. Wyatt had amassed a collection over the years that arguably rivaled some museums, and he often brought in new and rare acquisitions that he'd enthusiastically show off to employees and customers. One thing you could never say about Wyatt was that he lacked passion for his field.

"So Reese tells me that you and Maya got into a pretty serious argument on Thursday," Wyatt said matter-of-factly as I sat down next to Maya in one of the two cushy office chairs that faced the owner's desk, "I was hoping to get your take on it after Maya finishes up."

Oh no, I thought, here we fucking go.

"I was stupid, Wyatt," she said, "it was...I overreacted, to say the least. I know that I'm supposed to do better...to BE better than this...but I lost my temper, and I shouldn't have. I got the impression that his friend was trying to harass me, and that Ash had put her up to it-as ridiculous as that sounds."

"Yeah?" Wyatt raised his eyebrows, then looked at me. "Did you put her up to it, Ash?"

He looked patiently down his small nose at me, his expression curious. "No, Wyatt," I responded, "I don't think that trying to recruit my friends in order to harass my co-workers is a good idea."

"Well you're correct, it's not-or, it wouldn't be," Wyatt said, "I just wanted to remind you that you do, in fact, have to continue working together after this meeting is over, and I want to make sure that you two aren't going to be holding screaming matches on the floor at random intervals," he said, now looking at Maya, "Maya, you run a tight ship, and you're good at your job, but now I am telling you-not asking-to ease up on Ash. You give him a pretty hard time, and frankly, I've let it slide longer than I should have because I respect your managerial skills-but it sounds like you did cross a line this time. You need to lay off from now on, understand? And I'm sorry I didn't intervene sooner, Ash, I really should have."

"It's...it's okay, Wyatt," I said, trying not to look at Maya, unbelieving of how this conversation was going.

"Cool. Am I clear, Maya?"

"Yes. And...I'm really sorry, Ash," she said softly, as she looked over at me, her cool, blue-gray eyes meeting my own, "I was totally out of line, I had no right to act the way that I did, and I hope we can move past it."

"Yeah, uh...yeah. No problem." I looked between Maya and Wyatt, respectively, and shrugged, trying my best to conceal my surprise. "It's fine. I honestly could have handled it better myself; I did kind of...exacerbate things by blowing up at you."

"A little," Maya said with a smile.

"Okay, yeah, Maya needs to lay off, and Ash, maybe you could stand learn some de-escalation skills. Those are the takeaways here." He clapped his hands once, looked at her and I in that order and raised his thin, dark eyebrows. "We good? You two need to get back out there."

"Yeah," I said, "I'm good."

"Same," said Maya, "I'm good to go."

"All right, then. We're adjourned."

*****

"So it's been three days now."

"About, yeah."

"Okay then, about three days, and she's been...totally cool. It's fuckin' bizarre."

"That's about the long and short of it, Jodi. Total one-eighty, it's like we never had any problems at all. Still kind of sore about Wyatt telling me to 'learn some de-escalation skills', though; like, she was the one freaking out on me, and he knows how she gets sometimes."

"Look, all that aside...wow. She's hardly spoken to you, from what I've seen, and when she does it's always totally polite and cordial. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it for myself, honestly."

I took another bite of my meatball marinara, chewed and swallowed. I stared into Jodi's wide eyes, and in that moment, I made a decision.

"Look," I said, "I'm pretty sure that I know why she apologized, outside of looking good in front of Wyatt-as well as why she's acting the way that she is toward me, but..."

"But...what? Ash, what are you not telling me?"

"Look," I turned and looked around the Grinders dining room, as if someone might be listening in on our soon-to-be salacious conversation, "I need you to keep this to yourself, okay? Because I really, really do not want it getting around."

"Jesus, Ash, fuckin' don't leave me hanging here! Spit it out!"

"Okay, okay! So it happened on Friday. My roommate Mike and I were over at Edie's..."

I proceeded to tell her the entire bar incident story, with every last dirty detail left intact. By the time I had finished, her sandwich had been forgotten, her eyes the size of dinner plates and her mouth agape.

"I...holy fucking shit, Ash."

"Yeah. You and my roommates were right, I guess. Or maybe not, maybe she was just too fucked up or some-"

"No."

"'No'? What do you mean, 'no'?"

"What I mean," she said, "is 'don't fool yourself'. People's true selves come out when they're drunk, and that's what happened. She cut through the bullshit and told you the truth-even if the way that she did it was wholly inappropriate."

"Mike told me somethin' similar, yeah."

After a brief pause, she continued, "So...what are you going to do?"

"Like I told my roommates: nothing. I don't want to make shit even more awkward and complicated, and...I don't know, pursuing a relationship of any kind with Maya would probably be problematic. Plus, I don't even know if the attraction goes any deeper than a sexual one, anyway. I...again, I really don't know, Jodi. She's a mystery to me, and I'm not sure that I want to open Pandora's box here."

"Don't tell me you aren't at least a little bit curious about how she really feels."

"I am! I just-I don't think that I should push it, you know? So I'm gonna drop it entirely. It's that simple."

She chuckled before taking another bite. "What?!" I said, incredulous.

She shook her head slowly as she chewed, swallowed, and said, "Ash, it will not be that simple. Situations like this never are. Like, this is already fucked up enough, and it's not going to go away just by you pretending that it isn't there, or that nothing happened. It'd be like trying to ignore a kitchen fire, you feel me?"

I groaned. "I really, really don't want to talk to her about it, Jo."

"Well, you know what? You might not have a choice if she decides to bring it up herself."

"Doesn't mean I have to respond."

Frustration flashed across her face. "Now you just sound like a coward, Ash." She firmly slapped the remainder of her sandwich down onto her plate and glared at me as I stared wide-eyed in surprise at the sudden outburst. "Look, she isn't going to let it go, I don't think, because she's not that kind of person. She's avoiding you right now, but I've seen her look at you while you're busy, and it's written all over her face: she's upset and she wants to say something. I wasn't sure exactly what was up until today, but now that you've contextualized it for me...yeah, Ash, she's going to approach you at some point. Sooner rather than later, I think. And you really ought to get it over with and at least talk to her about it."

I took another bite of meatball marinara, my thoughts troubled. "It's not like I haven't thought about what I would say if she did," I mumbled after I swallowed.

"Tell me," she demanded pointedly.

"I don't know, just, like...I guess, 'we were drinking and shit got out of hand, let's just put it behind us'? Something like that...? Fuck, that's all I can think of!"

"That works, I guess."

"I really shouldn't start having a fucking workplace affair with my boss, Jodi."

"No one said you had to, Ashley. I'm really just saying that you ought to talk it out and clear the air. Though admittedly, I think you'd make a cute couple."

"Jesus fucking Christ," I mumbled as I took another sizable bite of sandwich, Jodi continuing to watch me ponderously.

*****

The sun shone upon me, warm and kind, on that Wednesday afternoon some two weeks after the meeting in Wyatt's office. I stepped out of the store, soaking in the life-giving rays, when a hand lightly tapped me on the shoulder. I snapped out of my near-trance state and turned to find myself looking into a pair of grey-blue eyes that stared nervously from the pale, pretty face to which they belonged. A mane of dark hair, freshly freed from its' usual half-bun/half-ponytail, fell just past the shoulders beneath it, an errant hand fiddling with a lock in a clear display of anxiety and apprehension.

"Hi, Maya."

"Hi, Ash. How are you?"

"Glad to not be working evening, you?"

She smiled and looked up at the sky, avoiding eye contact. "Okay, I guess. And yeah, me too."

"Cool. What's the plan?"

"Well, uh..."

She paused, looking down while running a hand through her hair. I sighed internally-the time had come. I'd wrestled with the idea for the last few weeks of how I'd handle this situation, if and when it came up(though part of me still wished it would all just go away and never be spoken of again), and in that time of reflection I'd eventually resolved to just hear her out and play it by ear. So, I thought, that's what I'd do now.

"Look, Maya-"

"Yeah, I-I know," she started, slipping her hands into her pockets and looking at her feet, "I know I waited forever, okay? I was just really scared and ashamed, I wanted to give you your space, and I was worried about getting in trouble, and I...I..."

She finally looked at me, her anxiety almost palpable. Her wide-eyed stare told me more than her words ever could-it was definitely time for The Talk.

"Maya," I said, rubbing the back of my neck with my left hand, "look, what I was going to say was...do you want to go sit down somewhere?"

Her face lit up. "Yeah! I-I mean, sure, what did you have in mind?"

"You like sandwiches?"

*****

"Well now, you're new! Welcome to Grinders'!" Tony looked up and smiled at Maya and I as we walked through the front door of the sandwich shop, the bell jangling away.

"Thanks," Maya said, smiling slightly as we approached the counter, "um...what do you recommend, Ash?" She looked at me questioningly.

"Anything," I said, "really, it's all great."

"That's right," Tony said, smiling confidently, "best sandwiches in town, no bull. What looks good?"

After perusing the menu, Maya settled on a shredded chicken and vegetable sub, and I went with a BLT. "Be out in a little bit!" Tony smiled and passed the order through to his kitchen staff, while Maya and I found a booth and sat across from one another. A brief silence overtook us before she found the courage to speak, doing so slowly and quietly.