The Sabr1na Effect

The Sabr1na Effect

By Sabrina G. Langton

***

Author's Note: I feel... this is an epic. It's just a feeling, though, I could be totally wrong. Doesn't matter this story is the same but quite different. We all know the drill, we all know what we like, we all know what we are used to and we all know my modus operandi, ha... I hope YOU like it...

A wife gets overly excited when she learns her husband is part of the rainbow.

***

I had an admirer

My wife thought it was hilarious, she wouldn't stop teasing me.

All this desperate male attention made me nervous. I knew if he asked me, I would do absolutely anything.

***

Sabr1na: 'If you'd like I could come and clean for you in one of my three French maid uniforms. You know, if you are into that sort of thing, LOL.'

***

"Just because I crossdress, doesn't mean I like the attention of men."

"Maybe not, but because you, well Sabrina, wears short dresses, and high heels and is always showing off her boobs, men are going to want to talk and view her, well, YOU.

My wife of two years Megan knew I liked to crossdress, she knew I had a closet full of female clothes, a vanity full of makeup, and a D-cup breastplate. She knew that when I vanished into thin air, I vanished for a reason, that was the best thing about her. She knew this before we were married and she always gave me my own space. She even gave me my own room.

She was quite annoyed at first, she found everything by accident. She said I had three times more clothes than her, better taste, and more expensive perfume, but her best friends convinced her it was a good thing.

A good thing? Yes, that's what they said.

She was now just explaining the facts. "You know what men like, they see a pretty face, long nails, long legs, you know whatever, they are gonna look, they are gonna try to get close. Get used to it, and stop making believe you aren't flattered."

"Still,"

"Stop, you are loving this and both of us know it. Even Kenneth and Jayden know it."

Unfortunately, my wife was a know-it-all, and what she didn't know her two best friends did. I walked over to her, she was at her laptop, drinking coffee at the kitchen table. She was working, she was in real estate, she needed this distraction, it had provided a smirk on her face all morning.

"You told them?" I felt a little embarrassed.

"You crazy, I told them years ago, probably three minutes after I found all of your heels barely hidden under a 'Barbie' blanket in that over crowded closet of yours, they understand. They don't find it as hysterical as I do. ha..."

***

I had an online social media account, my profile name was Sabr1na, well Sabrina with a one, I thought it was cute. I had had it since Megan and I had first met. I needed something for my femme side. I knew I wouldn't be dressing up as much, I knew I had to try to curb some of my fetishes if I was going to make our friendship and marriage work, so I ramped up my picture taking instead, just like when I was in college. I had almost three years of pictures on my account, I was private and I only followed six other accounts. I followed two dress stores in Brazil, two women who did makeup tutorials, one in Charlotte, North Carolina, and the other in Germany. I followed a travel photographer who posted pictures of Europe and a man whose life seemed so exciting and familiar. His name was Emerson and he lived in Northern California, he owned property in Munich, he traveled, he seemed to have the best life.

I wish I had the best life.

Megan wanted to see my pictures but I didn't want her to have access to them, she would show everyone, EVERYone. Her two friends wanted to see them, I told them no way it was just for me. I would put descriptions on my pictures, imagine I had a more enticing and romantic 'female' life. I had almost a thousand posts, almost a thousand pictures, and videos, I was a little obsessed but it didn't matter no one would ever see them but me, no one would read my thoughts and comments and fantasies but me, and um, now, Emerson.

Emerson was my only follower. The only one.

For the last couple of years, I have commented on his pictures, I commented on all of the accounts I followed. I felt it was good for my karma, I was always so positive. I would buy dresses from the stores in Brazil, I found a distributor right here in Pennsylvania, right near my little town of Ambler. I would buy the products that the women doing tutorials would recommend. I was getting quite good at their techniques, I could make myself look quite beautiful. When I was in femme mode I was chatty, friendly, I imagined I liked to flirt. I would be all dressed up, in one of my new dresses, pantyhose, and heels. I had one of my three blonde wigs on and my face was perfectly made up. My philosophy was 'All or nothing' when it came to my crossdressing. I never had a pair of panties on under my male clothes, I never painted my toenails when I wasn't fully dressed. I was either all female or all male, that was the way I was, the way I liked it. Then when I was completely dressed up my true personality took over, she also came with a sexy voice.

Sabr1na: 'Emerson I so love this picture, I could imagine myself in my sexiest lingerie, posing with Munich behind me. I would be showing off to the entire city. LOL.'

That was the comment I left on his picture of all these beautiful gothic houses in an old Bavarian part of Germany, in his city. It was almost right across from his bedroom window, It was lovely. I could imagine wearing my sheerest nightgown or my best dress, long earrings jingling, long nails playing with my hair as I traipsed around his city. I love Europe, I especially love Germany, the food, the architecture. I went there while I was in college, I was there for fifteen months, my entire senior year. I always dreamt of going back.

He commented after me, he always commented, he wanted to see me in my lingerie, he wanted to see me pose, he wanted me to show off. I just sent him a couple of emojis, but it made me quite happy.

Sabr1na: 'Emerson wonderful picture, I wish I was there drinking beer and eating sausages with you surrounded by all of your friends while wearing my dirndl dress while wearing my six-inch pumps, Ha.'

I also had a habit of commenting and telling him what I was feeling or wearing at the time, subconsciously I guess I wanted someone to know, someone to imagine how nice I looked. Megan would leave me alone in my room on the other side of the house to dress and take pictures, lately she never wanted to see me, she asked me to lock the door, it seems we both wanted it hidden. She was always out, she was always shopping, she didn't like to know what I was doing anyway, wearing, or imagining. She figured it was my hobby, she liked coupons. It was the two things we did on our own.

Being alone I spent so much time going through Emerson's gorgeous pictures, imagining being involved in someone else's life, talking about something other than coupons. Each time I commented on one of his posts, he would beg me to let him follow my account. He wanted to see what I looked like, wore, got up to. He said the nicest things, he told me he loved women's legs, he loved women's hands, he loved women. Most of his pictures were of his travels, especially in Germany, only a few of them showed others or himself. He was handsome, he was probably single, he was definitely older than me, I was now twenty-nine.

He would probably be disappointed in a crossdresser. He would probably be disappointed in my silicone breasts and synthetic hair. Recently I sent him a direct message and told him, I was a CD, I wore woman's clothes, I'm sorry I bothered him, and I wouldn't do it anymore.

The next day I let him see my pictures, my first and only follower. He said he wasn't bothered at all.

***

Emerson: This is what you have been hiding from me? Thank you for sharing, you are incredibly beautiful. You remind me of someone I once knew.

***

"The guys are taking us out!" Megan called up the stairs, I had just finished, I just shut down my work computer. I was a website designer, I was more creative than technical.

"What? Where?"

"That club they hang out in, there is some kind of party goin' on for Pride month. I want to show off your Sabrina side. We have to take lots of pictures!" Now I was nervous. I never went out with the three of them, she always let me stay home.

Megan was so disinterested in my crossdressing at first, she kind of forgot about it. Then a month ago I made that huge mistake, I told her about Emerson. I had to ask someone, there was really no one else I could breach this subject with. I felt like such a fool afterward.

"Um, Megan?"

"Mmm."

"Remember I told you about that guy that wanted to follow my femme account?"

"Mmm, kinda." She wasn't really paying attention, she was wielding her scissors, she was cutting her coupons from this month's piles of magazines, this week's flyers.

"Well he wants to send me a gift, I told him he didn't have to, but he seems a little adamant about it."

I finally had her attention, she had a weird grin on her face, she needed to know more. I reluctantly told her a little more. She then wanted to know how I started dressing as a girl, and I told her that too, she made me tell her something I never told anyone before. She wanted to know a secret, then and only then would she help me.

She had her arms folded, she was egging me on. "Come on, one quick story, you must have loads of them."

I was thinking I didn't and I was now wishing I didn't say anything. "Um, when I was young probably six, seven, the little girl upstairs from me..."

"Lissa?"

"Mmm-mmm, well she wanted to have a picnic, one on the concrete in the backyard, have Cheerios and Hi-C. So we went into the back, sat on her teddy bear blanket and I asked her to call me by my female name. It was nice. Then the other kids from the block walked into the backyard, they wanted to play tag, they started making fun of me. I ran into the house leaving Lissa in the back by herself." I took a deep breath, I didn't want to finish, I had a slight pain in my chest. "Well anyway, my mother said it was my fault, I shouldn't be playing with girls. She said I learned a valuable lesson that day."

"That's what she said?"

"Mmm, but I, um, I liked Lissa calling me by my girl name, that was what I learned that day. That was the real lesson." I finally looked Megan in the eye, part of me felt like she didn't believe me, like it wasn't such a big deal.

"Okay. What's your girl's name?"

I breathed out, I held onto the table. "Sabrina. Don't make fun of it."

She shrugged, got up, and followed me into my room. "Okay, so what is happening? What do you want to do?"

Whew, I was a little relieved. Then I told her, Emerson wanted me to open an Amazon account under my feminine name, he wanted to buy me things, he wanted me to set up something called a Wishlist. Two weeks later thanks to Megan, I had a new email, two new credit cards, and a brand new Amazon Prime account. Sabr1na was ready to go shopping and receive presents. Sabr1na had a Wishlist.

I didn't want her to see all my pictures and comments, but she did, it was an accident. It was a surprise. I now have two followers. She looked through all of mine and his in one long marathon flicking session. I watched her. I drank three glasses of wine.

"Ha, I love that he is so infatuated with you, it's so funny."

"It's not funny, and I don't want him buying me anything."

"Too late." She laughed, she checked, I had over a dozen items coming to me overnight. "I'm glad I told him your sizes." And she laughed even louder, she started calling him 'My German Sugar Daddy.' I knew this couldn't be good.

*

"Why do I have to go? You have never taken me to this club before?"

Megan was looking through her closet, she was looking for a perfect outfit to hang at a bar. "Well that was before I knew you were transgender, or gender fluid, or, I don't know whatEVER you are. The guys tell me the 'Night Owl' is full of girls like you."

"Um, I don't think I am either of those things." I was getting uncomfortable, Ken and Jayden were two gay men, a couple, they hung out at a gay bar, I wouldn't be comfortable as either gender going there.

She turned around, she stopped rummaging. "You are going, now go put on one of your dresses, I want to show off my trans husband. I want to have fun and be part of something bigger."

After an hour of coming up with excuses, feigning nausea, and lying, she went into my room and into my closet. This was something she had never attempted before. "Here put this on, nothing like pink for your first Pride party," She laughed and headed back to her room to get ready.

I put the dress away, it was bright pink, tight and short, if I was going out into the world then I didn't want to stand out, I wanted to blend in... in the background. I very rarely go out en femme. I very rarely leave my small bedroom. I have a little wrap-around balcony right behind my vanity, right behind the huge windows if I feel the need to have the wind rustle my skirt. Sometimes I go for a ride and feel the wind blow my long hair, I loved driving in heels, I loved flirting with the men I passed. I waved and winked at every single one of them. Sometimes I parked in a quiet parking lot, a supermarket, a park, and I took tiny steps in my new pumps, feeling my breasts bounce as I strut around the empty cars, the empty playground. That was all I needed, I didn't need to go to a club, I didn't need to show off to people up close.

I didn't need to wear pink.

Forty-five rushed minutes later I was brushing my strawberry blonde wig, checking my golden clip-on hoops, and spraying on my Oscar de la Renta Alibi.

"Ready?" Megan was calling, I could hear her getting closer. I dreaded showing her my eyebrows, my outfit, I dreaded her seeing me all dressed up. I felt her watching me as I concentrated on my image. I was a different person when I was feeling like a woman, I always felt that was the preferred and genuine me, I was much more focused on my look, my appearance. As a male, I could care less what I was wearing or even if I was clean or not, but being 'female' was a whole other affair. I was also very different than Megan, I was 5'8" and quite fit. I had long legs and perfect feminine arms. All I needed was a thinner waist and curvier hips, bigger backside, all of which Megan had of course. I was so jealous. She was slightly under five feet, with light brown hair and Asian features from her mother's Korean side. She was quite pretty but she didn't like to show off, she didn't like to wear makeup.

She didn't like my outfit. "What happened to the pink?"

I didn't want to talk, I didn't want to show off my perfect voice. I turned around, she was wearing a T-shirt, a rainbow and the saying 'Love is Love.' She had on tan shorts and two-inch heeled sandals, she looked more ready for the beach than the club. She was eyeing me suspiciously.

She finally walked closer, but I ignored her, my pinky fixing my pink bottom lip. I let her touch, feel, look at my body. I concentrated on the beautiful woman in the mirror. I was more than a foot taller than her. I was so much blonder than her. I was in a dark green dress, black leopard spots. It had three-quarter sleeves, the neckline came up to my little necklace and the full hem went down to right above my knees, showing off my nude pantyhose, my beige shiny legs.

She gazed down at my heels, they were four inches high, had ankle straps and showed off my French manicure, they matched my long fingernails. They were glued on, they were easy, I could apply a whole set in less than six minutes. She took my hand and shook her head, her nails were coral and chipped. She then looked closer at my face, my makeup. I had dark eyes, long false lashes, I always used a lot of mascara. My eyebrows were thicker, perfectly even, so much more feminine, they were the focal point of my symmetrical face.

Then Megan squinted and looked at my lips, they were dark pink, they looked bigger, more full than when I wasn't wearing any color. I had a gift with lips, they took me a long time to achieve a look I loved.

Thank God her phone dinged, forgetting me for the moment. "Ooh, okay. The Uber is here." She left me to get my bag, take a Dramamine, some magnesium, and a deep breath. I was actually scared, my hands were still shaking, it took extra long to get my lips straight tonight.

*

"We just got here, are you close?" The guys were calling, they were already in Philly, they were ready to drink and meet people, they seemed excited to finally be meeting 'Sabrina.'

"Almost, Sabrina is all dressed up for a night at the opera." Megan was looking at me, I was on the other side of the back seat, I had my legs crossed, I was looking at my nails that were trailing on my nylons. I was imagining I was going away, someplace far away from a gay club, by plane.

"Guys, she's not even paying attention."

She then took pictures of me, then of us together, I had a totally uncomfortable look on my face, I was ready to be sick, I wasn't ready to be going out like this. She pulled me closer, we took a couple of selfies.

"Will you smile?"

She took some more and sent a couple to Ken and Jay. They said I looked perfect. A minute later we were there, my magnesium was just kicking in. We hugged then the guys took more selfies with us, Megan made me put them up on my picture account immediately. She watched me, she wanted me to write that it was my first time all dressed up at a Club, surrounded by other trans girls. I felt funny mainly because I knew Emerson was going to see them. He was going to see the four of us together, he was going to see what looked like a date.

I didn't know why I even cared.

We walked up to the bouncer, he checked our ID, he didn't even pause when he saw mine. He smiled and called me Miss.

Kenneth got us drinks and then he pulled me aside. "Sabrina, are you wearing stockings?"

I wanted to tell him I was wearing ultra sheer pantyhose, I rolled them in my hands and pulled them up one smooth leg. I then did the same thing to the other. I pulled the nylons up over my thighs with my two hands, around my padded hips. I then rubbed my ass. I smoothed the sheer pantyhose some more, making them perfect. I stretched and turned my ankles, left, right, as I rubbed and admired my smooth thighs and then slid on my heels. I wanted to tell him it was my favorite thing to do in the world.

"I am." I was brief, I smiled. I hid my teeth.

"Wow, love that." He bent, he investigated my knees. He moved back up. "You are quite beautiful, you fit in here so well. Look."

I looked around, I was thinking I didn't. I dressed like a woman, a woman ready for a night out, and almost everyone here was dressed slightly crazy or dressed just like the three of them, t-shirts and shorts. Only a couple were overdressed and I think they were part of the show.

*

'Oh, I wanna dance with somebody

I wanna feel the heat with somebody

Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody

With somebody who loves me'

"Thank you for coming out on this beautiful June night, my lovelies." The crowd roared, the master of ceremonies was gearing up the audience, warning everyone to order drinks now, not during the show. We were at a table near the stage, the four of us, it felt even more like a date, we were sitting boy girl boy girl. We were surrounded by so many people. I knew I was dressed too casually for a gay club, there was so much skin on offer. Next to us were four men, they had hardly any clothes on at all, they wore the tightest shirts. On the other side were five women all slightly older than us, they struck up a conversation with Meg. Three of them had the most unusual haircuts.