The Sage, His Acolyte, and Her Husband

"Anita, you are sounding quite mysterious."

"I am Saha. I want to talk to you about our spouses."

"Indeed. What's mysterious about that?"

"May I come straight to the point Saha?"

"Certainly."

"Are Monica and David having an affair?" There was prolonged silence from the other end of the line, which of course was understandable. After a while Anita spoke again.

"Are you on line Saha? Stunned what?"

"Not stunned Anita, but your question has set me thinking. She likes him a lot. That is no secret. She is excited about going on the field trips with him, and after her return she bubbles with all that had happened. They speak for long hours on the phone when I am about. I cannot help listening in; they talk mostly about their work. Of course lovers can talk love even in complex mathematical equations, but I have never sensed sexual excitement in the tone or the body language of Monica."

"Same here with David. David's sex drive is weak, very weak. But even he is a human male and with constant companionship of the closest kind may develop sexual interest. Saha I will not beat about the bush. They are having an affair."

"You are speaking as if you were an eye witness to their love making."

"I was Saha. I'll tell you how it happened. It was the day before yesterday. I teach in one of the computer colleges that have sprung up all over the place. One day owing to power outage my college closed early for the day. I came home walking as I always do, and let myself in by the side door, again as I always do. The door of my room was ajar and through the gap I had a clear view the living room sofa. Monica was leaning on the sofa fully clothed of course, and looking up at David. David was holding the back of the sofa and leaning forward stiffly as if he was doing pull up exercises. He was doing just that, but every time his face came close to Monica's he touched her lips with his lips. There was no passion in the kiss, but Monica was pouting her lips too. Monica's hands were on David's shoulder as if she was supporting him partly. From time to time David changed his posture and removed one hand from the sofa and placed it on her breast; she always pushed it away. I watched for a while and then silently I withdrew the way I had come. I closed the door and came round to the front and noisily opened the grill gate and rang the bell. David opened the door. There was not the slightest sniff of guilt in either of them. If I had not seen them with my own eyes I would not have had the faintest suspicion of any wrong doing."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing. Just nothing. I pretended as if I knew nothing."

"You did not confront David."

"Not so far. I have no friends here, or for that matter even in my country with whom I can discuss a matter of this delicacy. I thought and thought of what I should do and finally in desperation I have come to you. You are a stranger, but as you are involved in equal measure we can try to understand what is happening and work out a plan of action."

"You must give me some time to think. I will call in the next half hour."

"No Saha. I will hold the phone. You can take your time thinking. I will wait."

Saha did not take more than a few minutes to come out with a strategy.

"Our married life Anita," said Saha, "has been singularly free of major strains till now. True, many things that interest her do not interest me and vice versa. But we do have many common interests and we have had a wonderful sex life. I feel I can talk this over with Monica. You Anita?"

"Mine is slightly more complex. David has only interest in his work and though I try to take interest in it I cannot say I show enough interest. He has practically no other interests. But I like him very much Saha, very, very much. He is a funny person and makes me and those around him laugh by his blunders and clumsiness. He cannot drive a nail without bashing his thumb, and cannot reverse his car without banging on something. He is totally without any worldly wisdom. He cannot so much as go to the shop to buy anything without someone to guide him. That is the sort of person he is. But he is extremely sincere in whatever he does. I like him and am I bothered I might lose him Saha. I do not think I can continue to live if I lose him."

"If he is the person you say he is then why not discuss the problem frankly with him?"

"I am not sure I can manage it Saha. Why not you discuss it with Monica and then I can work out a plan for David."

"OK."

"When?"

"That I can't say. But soon."

"Then please call me when the two are on a field trip."

Saha replaced the phone, leant back on his easy chair and closed his eyes. Though he sounded casual his head was reeling. He did not mention it to Anita, but he was lost too if Monica was to leave him.

*

David's field of study, the one on which he devoted all his energies, concerned poverty. 'How poor are the poor?' was his area of study. Hitherto he did his researches mainly in the Western world, but in India he found the field so rich for study that he was overwhelmed. His enthusiasm rubbed off on to his colleague Monica, and the two of them had accumulated a vast data and drew some very astonishing conclusions. They read several papers in conferences, and a book commissioned by a well-known publisher was half complete. As the work involved visiting the poorer villages and slums in the city the two of them spent a lot of time together. It was thus not surprising that their relationship had gone beyond the stage of friendship. Saha should have anticipated such a situation, he had not, but now he had to tackle the problem facing him.

Monica came back from the field visit in the evening. She rested for an hour, and then after a bath and coffee she came with a sheaf of papers to join Saha on the sofa. As usual she spluttered out all the data sloshing within her. In spite of the storm raging within him Saha managed a bemused smile. He wondered what was so exciting about slums.

"Are you OK?" asked Monica suddenly.

"Why that question?"

"Something is bothering you. What is that?"

"Yes Monica something important is bothering me." Saha hesitated.

"What's that?"

"Are you having an affair with David?" Monica arranged her papers in proper order and filed them in a folder. She then sat up and looked her husband straight in the eye.

"What makes you suspect that we are having an affair?"

"The day before yesterday Anita returned home early from her office and entered by the side door. She saw both of you kissing each other on the lips. She slipped out and then came round to press the front door bell."

"What else did she say?"

"She said she did not know what to do, and having no friends here she decided to approach me. She say she cannot think of life without David by her side." Monica sat head down in deep thought.

"I did not tell her but life without Monica was unthinkable for me too," he said. Monica looked at him but was silent. Saha continued. "You can take time to answer Monica and but I want to hear the story from you. I think of all sorts of horrible things and I am sure the truth will be much less disturbing." Monica remained silent. She then got up and went towards the kitchen.

"Where are you going?"

"To prepare supper."

"We'll go to a movie and eat out."

"Movie today?"

"Why not. Get started. We will be just in time."

In the movie house Saha entwined his hands in hers as he always did; however her response was missing—she did not rub her cheek with the back of his entwined hand.

"Why Monica, does not my hand deserve to feel your cheeks?" he said. She thereupon took his hands and rubbed it gently on her cheeks. He then knew why she had not done so—it was wet with tears.

They got back home and changed.

"Saha, I know I have to tell all but I do not know how a wife can possibly do so to her husband. I'll try anyway. First I must tell you about David. He is quite a remarkable person Sahu. David likes the study of poverty, but he loves the poor, and they take to him in a big way. His mere presence is enough for them to answer any question he may pose to them, through me of course. That is the basis of our success. We have data that other workers have not been able to obtain. More than that he reads significance into data that others find unremarkable. I like to work with him and I like him the way a student may relate to a favourite teacher. A better analogy would be a sage and his acolyte. David's commitment to his cause is as total as any rishi's to God, and his life style is so simple, and personal needs so meagre that he can take to living in the hut of a rishi without any difficulty. But unlike rishis David has little interest in sex though he is not devoid of sexual interest. He is very scrupulous about maintaining the proper behaviour in public, but when on days we have had a notable success, and we are alone he, in his excitement, would jump and sing and dance and hugs me and kiss me the way Westerners do. There is nothing sexual in this.

"One day about nine months ago we were spending a night in a travellers bungalow. I was in one room and he in the next one. There were only two rooms in the building. The caretaker, after supper, cleared the table and left for his quarters. David came to my room and sat on a couch and we discussed some of our findings of the day. After that he took the manuscript of the book, then in its second chapter, and together we worked on the chapter. I was next to him on the couch." Monica stopped.

"You don't have to go into details Monica. A word or two about the relationship is all I need."

"No Sahu. I need to tell you all. Only then will you get the proper picture of our relationship. Please be patient. It is not a long story."

"You may feel embarrassed."

"I want to be embarrassed. I deserve to be embarrassed. Please Sahu."

"OK go ahead."

"We were so close that we were rubbing shoulders and hips. Quite abruptly David picked up the papers on the tea table and bundled them up and threw the bundle on to the dining table. I was surprised for I was anticipating a nightlong session. 'I can't go on Monica. I must have sex,' he said. My reaction to this statement is something I can never understand. I never looked on David as a sex object, and in his behaviour towards me the four months we were in the project he did not at any time show signs that he considered me a sex object either. That apart I had no interest in sex just then. On top of it I was tired. But I said nothing. I just turned and looked him in the eye. All I had to do to stop him was to say 'no', but I did not say it. I just don't know why. Was my admiration for him so great that my mind did not consider refusing a request from him? Probably that is the explanation.

He undid the blouse hooks and went round and undid the bra. He removed my blouse and then my bra. I did not actively assist him, but I moved my arms so that he could remove the blouse. He then undid the pleats of my sari and holding the sari end he went round me twice unwrapping the sari. He threw the sari on the chair and pulled the skirt tape. I did not move a muscle. Even the reflex that prevents exposure did not come to my assistance. The skirt fell. I now stood stark naked before him. Her inspected me with a curious eye. I was wondering what he was going to do next when he bent forward holding his crotch. "Damn it. It won't come up." He said. He looked so miserable and so sad that I got up and went to him and putting my hand on his shoulder asked him what was the problem.

"My damned cock does not rise," he said and undid the fly of his pants and showed me his flaccid penis. He tapped it once, and then again. He then pulled up the fly and flounced out of the room and closed the door. I felt sad for him. I noiselessly opened the door of his room and went to his bed. I was naked, and though there was no one about in that building the windows were open and I walked about the room with no clothes on.

He was lying prone with face buried in a pillow. I touched him. He turned but did not get up.

"Look at me David," I said, 'look at my naked body. Your organ may rise. Keep looking." I took his hand and placed it on my breast. He pressed it feebly. I took his hand down and placed it on my pussy. He rubbed softly. He pulled down his pants. His penis was as flaccid as ever. He turned round and once again buried his face in the pillow.

'Go away Monica, please do go away. You are making me miserable,' he said emotionally. I went to my room, dressed, and went to bed.

"He did not make any reference to the episode the next day or any day afterwards. He made no sexual advances for the next three months. Three months later one day when we were working in his house he said he wanted sex. Again he had no erection. This time he did not even try to undress me.

'Is this the same story with Anita too?' I asked.

'In the early part of our married life it was better,' he said, 'but not by much. The fact of the matter Monica is that I am impotent. I have tried to persuade Anita to have discreet relationships with other men but she laughs at the suggestion. She does not miss sexual relations that much she says, and is perfectly happy to be with me as I am.'

'Divorce?'

'No,' he said. 'I can't do without her. I like her very much.'

'Does this impotence disturb you?'

"In the beginning yes, but now I know it is in a way a blessing. I use the energy for my work. Sublimation you can call it. It does not bother me anymore.'

"There has been no attempt at having sex after that. We kiss occasionally when he tries to fondle. I allow him to kiss but I generally push his hands away. He must have kissed and tried to fondle me less half a dozen times in the thirteen months I have been associated with him. One of these Anita to my good luck witnessed."

"Good luck?"

"Yes, keeping all this in my mind has been a torture. Now it has come to the open I am happy that I am not dissimulating anymore. These sex acts leave me cold. He must have noted my unresponsiveness for he sometimes calls me his centrefold. What he means is probably that I am not more alive than those nude pictures in the centrefold of magazines like Playboy. That is my story in all its details. Many men have killed or maimed their women or in the least kicked them out into the street for much less. What do you propose to do?" She turned towards him, and their eyes met. She had spoken calmly as if telling someone else's story but now her self-possession left her. Her large eyes poured tears in torrents.

"I'm miserable Sahu, I wish I were dead," she said and sobbed. "I feel I have cheated you even though I was never emotionally involved with David. To me it has been like a doctor examining me. You have been kind and unsuspecting and I have betrayed your trust. Please Sahu, please don't leave me." Saha caught her in his arms and held her tight allowing her to expend all her pent up emotions. "But I like him a lot Sahu and at the time when he came to me and held me and kissed me and undressed me I was helpless. I simply do not know how to say no to him. I yielded Sahu, shamelessly. If he had been a normal man I would most certainly have slept with him that day."

And then Saha kissed her and she responded with passion. "Please Sahu don't ask me to stop away from the project. I am passionate about my work. For almost five years I waited and now I have got the chance to do the work that has been my dream. And then there is this book that is sure to make a splash when it comes out hopefully next year. I will be a miserable wreck if I were to drop it at this stage. But I am demanding a lot from you. A horrible lot. I just don't know what to do Sahu please help me." He held her tight and she sobbed on his shoulders.

They played with their tongues. She peeled off her nightie and presented him with her nipples and he sucked and sucked as she moaned. She loosened his pyjamas and took hold of his hard penis and rubbed it tenderly. She was now in frenzy. She took his hand and placed it on her clit. He rubbed for a while but she needed more. 'Do it now Sahu, or I'd burst,' she said in a voice hoarse with feeling. Now he was on top and she had orgasms one after another. They lay exhausted in each other's arms.

*

The next day Saha called Anita.

"Any development Saha?"

"Yes, Anita. Our spouses love us as deeply as ever."

"Then there is no danger of them leaving us?"

"None whatsoever. That all you wanted isn't?"

"That mainly but I have a lot more to ask."

"Anita I'm leaving it at that. My advice is that you do that too."

" But I have many unanswered questions?"

"Anita, you have guessed the answers to those questions. Please take it from me that those are the answers."

He rang off.