The Screw

A screw in the wrong place leads to death but the manner was murder.

Gus and Larry work in a locomotive engine house where diesel-electric locomotives are serviced and made ready by loco inspections on a daily basis that they comply with federal r.r. laws before going out on the high iron.

Gussy is a loco electrician who also has a vast knowledge of the loco as a whole but specializes in the electrical part of its operation. He has been doing this for a good twenty-five years, yup general motors Loco's and Alco's by the American Loco Co. Gussy is a rather quiet guy, friendly but very serious and not much of a joker Whereas Larry a good mechanic but could be somewhat better is a rather loudmouthed guy who seems to spend a lot of time trying to come up with a good practical joke.

Gussy's idea of a good time is motorcycling and piano while Larry is always trying to score with the women, he has no real luck but is always bragging about what he wished could have happened. He also has this nagging thing about being right and if someone has the balls to tell him he is wrong, he carries on as if he suddenly turned into a child. This does not happen often, but when it does, the talk of the roundhouse is buzzing for a few days.

Larry started talking about the shed in his back yard, how he was gonna fix it up and make a shop, do some metal or iron fabricating, fix engines and lots of other things as well. George asked if he had power in the shed to which he answered "No" and asked Larry if he could wire the shed for a reasonable amount, mentioning he could wire to code.

Larry said he'd do the job himself but then peppered the guy with?'s on how to do it. Well this George guy was telling Larry nothing as he was not going to make a few bucks. Everyone felt the same about it, they knew George was a good man and knew how to wire to code, he worked on the side at times doing industrial jobs. Since George is a good guy he did tell Larry that if he put in a 'sub-panel, to take out the bonding screw in the neutral bus bar, otherwise a very dangerous situation would be made.

Larry jumped out of his chair as if he had a spark plug wire up his ass and started screaming at George the most lurid disgusting insults to ever hit a man's ears. Larry, who always had to be right thought George was trying to juice him to his death when in actuality he was trying to help Larry.

In the meantime like on week-ends Larry loved to gamble, since he was not winning much, he was starting to go into some debt and the bank threatened forclosure.

So what did Larry do? Well it sure as hell was the dumb thing, instead of cashing in one of his IRA's to free himself of a ten grand debt and he would have still had forty thou but did not want a taxable event, he borrowed from loan sharks! Brilliant. Larry seemed to think he had a charm with men as well and could persuade money-hungry men in expensive suits to not bother him.

Larry it seemed also liked to mess with women who already had a man, which is flat out stupid. He would talk to them in a weird way and tell them things he thought they would like to hear. and start to stock them, showing up where they do their shopping, so to put it bluntly, Larry was looking for trouble.

One Saturday he goes to an electrical supply house to buy the stock needed to wire his shop and an electrical panel was on the list with breakers for it as well.

"So is this panel going to be a 'Mains'? Or a subpanel Larry was asked by Harold, the parts guy.

"No, a subpanel."

"Oh o.k. then let me take out this screw." Said, Harold. So Harold took out the screw a green slotted head and chucked it over his shoulder into the back where shelves of stock are.

"Why did you take out that screw?" Larry asked.

"Because it would be a violation of the electrical code and quite dangerous also. Run the equipment ground conductor to this busbar that connects to the enclosure, and the white wire here. Under no conditions can the white and ground wire meet up again."

Larry probably looked confused.

"By leaving the screw there and pulling say thirty amps on the neutral, that current would liven up the enclosure and put juice on everything that is grounded".

A few weeks later while at work, a strange event happened. A dark blue Lincoln town car with a white carriage top pulls into the parking lot and two men in what look like very expensive suits. We thought they were from the government, the FRA on railroad business.

So the super walks over to them and says, "Greetings gents, I thought you were coming next week."

One gent looks at the other, shrugs his shoulders and says, "You were expecting us next week? What about?"

"About getting an extension on the 92-day locomotive inspection for the 1751".

"Hahahaha, Sir, we are not here from the Railroad administration board, but being in suits I see why you would think that."

"We are looking for Larry Higgins"

It is lunchtime, some of the guys take a fifteen-minute break, eat and get back to work whereas others take the half-hour and clock out.

Larry clocked out and went to pick up a submarine sandwich. He returns and sits down to eat that sandwich along with a bottle of coke.

One of the workers came over to Larry. "Ey Larry, you cross the mob? Two guys in a Lincoln town car were lookin' for ya."

Larry got bent outa shape very quickly, the anger coming out of the blue as it were.

"Fuckin' kinda joke is that? I Gotta tear you apart!"

"Loui's not kidding Larry, two guys were here looking for you." It must have been the seriousness with which the boss spoke as Larry turned grey very quickly. They were driving a Lincoln town car, Larry. I thought they were from the FRA, to be frank about it. They were very well dressed men.

Well no one said a word more about it to Larry but everyone had to be wondering when they'd see that same car slowly driving around at times.

A few weeks later Larry never showed up for work on a Monday. No phone call, nothing which was strange, even for Larry. He did like his job and had respect for it.

The engine house guys always have a radio going, they like to hear the music, the news even if at times, the rumbling diesels or the air horns or bell would drown out anything else. Tuesday morning at break time the men are drinking coffee and eating pizza from the night before or muffins from the caterer, the usual banter among railroad men. . .And in the news today, A sad accident to a local man who apparently died of electrocution in his shop, seems he did the work himself. His body spotted by a neighbor seeing a man slumped over and half out of his shop.

"God ya don't suppose. . ."

"You think it's Larry. . .?"

"For the time being, the coroner calls it an electrical accident but according to a few neighbors, a dark blue car with a white carriage top had been seen in the area as of late. Now back to some oldies, Here is Steam from sixty-nine in 'Wanna see you kiss him, goodbye."

Even the boss says, "That is too ironic."

We are all looking at each other in astonishment, surprise total wonder? like what the fuck? could it be that the mafia actually took out a guy we knew?

"Scuse me, sir, I'm Lieutenant Clodumbo, homicide."

"What can I do for you, sir?"

"I'm investigating the death of a man who was electrocuted, this sales slip was in his shop and I wonder if you knew anything about this or if he came across like he would know what he was doing".

"Yeah, I remember him!

"You do?"

"Yeah he bought this stuff and I asked him about the panel, was he going to use it as a 'Mains' or a sub? and he said sub."

"So what's a mains?"

"Mains is the first panel the power comes to after the meter. He said it was going to be a subpanel in his workshop."

"Does that make any kind o' difference?"

"Yes Lieutenant, it certainly does. When he told me it was going to be a subpanel, I took out the bonding screw from the neutral busbar and chucked it into the grove. Otherwise he'd be setting himself up for what could be a fatal shock".

"Well, I don't know much about that, I have a fuse box myself with those glass screw-in jobs, never had any trouble with them. But I did take some pictures of the place where this happened.

"Oh let's see." said the parts guy.

So Columbo showed him the inside of the panel which was easy. Larry had never screwed the dead front panel back on. This would just let the handles of the circuit breakers be exposed, with no live wires.

"Uh Oh, something bad here lieutenant. That screw, I took it OUT!

"You took it OUT?"

"Yeah I just said that. I threw it into the grove as they say. For this to be a safe subpanel, that screw can not be there."

"But it is there."

"That is why Larry was electrocuted, Lieutenant! I told him the neutral and ground can never meet up again."

"So how exactly did this happen Harold, could you explain it to me?"

"Sure Lieutenant, Current comes from the hot wire and returns through the white wire. If nothing is plugged in, there is no current on the white wire. The white wire is the neutral wire. Now, if you have, say an air compressor pulling twenty-five amps, it means that twenty-five amps are on the white wire too. Because that screw got put back in, it made the whole panel enclosure electrically live, and it livened up everything that was hooked to ground, so the tank and everything metal on the compressor was live to ground, say he had the compressor outside to make room or the hose was not long enough, whatever, touch the compressor and with a wet ground. . .not a good way to do things".

"Could Larry have done this? I mean if he felt the screw should be there?

"Well I suppose he could, He'd have to get the same kind of screw though, but why? I mean I told him".

"Lieutenant, if I did not know better, this is the same screw I took out, it has a green screw head and it is made to screw right into the back of the cabinet, and as I said. I took the screw and threw it like this". And I take a screwdriver and remove the screw, again and toss it over my right shoulder.

"I think what you gotta do is get prints off the screw and screwdrivers in his shop."

A day later a man walks in, short, black curly hair a raunchy cigar and he looks like an unmade bed, He has a gruff voice, probably from those cigars

"Mornin' men, I'm Lieutenant Clodumbo, homicide. I'm investigating the murder of Lawrence Higgins."

"He was murdered? One of the guys said.

"Seems so, Does anyone know if Larry did house wiring?

"George spoke up. "He said he was gonna wire his shed, make a shop. I'm licensed to do electrical but he wanted to do the job himself".

"Do you think he could do it safely?" Clodumbo asked in his raspy voice.

"I could not say, I never saw him do any house wiring."

"What kind of guy was he?" Columbo asked.

" He was a pretty good mechanic with air brakes and in general. liked a good joke but could get very mad quite easily at times, still and still a good guy".

"Scuse me, I'm Lieutenant Columbo, I'd like to talk to you about your neighbor.

"Sure. come on in.

Did Mr. Higgins ever do any house wiring for you?"

"Yeah he did, a great job, wrapped the wires around the screws instead o' jus' sticking 'em in the back. He was not licensed but I had the work checked for my home ins. Co. I said I did the work and they told me it was done well and safely".

"Here comes that lieutenant again. Gawd that cigar is worse than diesel smoke!"

"Maybe he gets'em from China?"

"Yeah, look at the Corona Virus, although some think it came from Mexico's Corona beer!"

"Think I'll stick with the virus!"

"What's up Lieutenant?"

"Did Larry talk to anyone here about wiring up his shop?"

"Oh yeah, Hey George come'ere, will ya!"

"Mornin' Lieutenant."

"George, tell the lieutenant about the subpanel."

"Yeah, o.k. Larry wanted to wire up his shop instead of letting me do it. Then he starts asking me how to do it. Like I was gonna tell him? Anyways I did tell him that if he used a mains panel as a subpanel, he had to remove the bonding screw in the neutral bus bar. He got so angry at me so quick he was like the fuckin' devil pounding tin, Thought I was trying to put'em in the grave a lot sooner, but I told him, he had to make sure the neutral bonding screw had to be taken out".

"That's right Lietennent, Larry got white-hot for a few. He gets it in his head he is right, The worse thing that can happen when ya messing with electricity, it has a zero-tolerance for ignorance".

"Excuse me, Lieutenant Clodumbo, right?

"That's me."

"You're checking out the death of Larry Higgins?"

"Yes Ma'am.

"Well my girlfriend Dora was telling me how Larry was always stocking her, She'd be shopping a few times a week and he'd be there watching her, calling her up on her cell phone any time of the day. She went out with him a few times, but called it off, said he was 'creepy' and he would not leave her alone".

"What's her last name?"

"Barnesito, her father works for the railroad.

"She ever Marry?"

"No lt.lieutenant, a very good friend but she wanted to really know a man before she would marry him".

"Oh Man Lt. Clodumbo's here. Damn what is he burning in that cigar? Old underwear? Old socks?

"Hello lt. Columbo, what's happening?

"There a guy here named Barnesito?"

"Yeah you met him, one o' the loco electricians, we call him Barnes, but Barnesito is his proper last name. George Barnesito, the guy who told Larry about the subpanel."

"Hello Lt. what can I do for you?"

"Do you have a daughter, Dora?

"Yes, is she alright?"

"I guess for the most part. I ran into a friend of hers who told me that she was being hounded by some guy she thought was rather creepy. Do you know anything about that?"

"That does sadly happen at times. My Dora is a very nice woman but a bit naive I must say and it seems some guy always wants to take advantage of her".

"Hey Lt. come here will ya?"

"There's that car again."

"What about it?"

"That dark blue Lincoln town car with the carriage top, the two guys were looking for Larry a few weeks before he was like no longer around".

"That so?" said Clodumbo, blowing toxic smoke out of that cigar.

"Loui cracked a joke about it being mafia and Larry was ready ta tear him apart. When the boss told Larry, Larry turned greyer than oatmeal".

"Any idea what this is all about?"

"We heard Larry talk about playing the slots and roulette wheel at times".

"Yeah these guys get into gambling and once they are in hock up to the family jewels, it's pretty hard to get out of."

"Wheeew, Thank God, that's over," said Barnesito to no one under his breath.

"Well it is NOT over! The cause of death is electrocution, but the manner of death is murder, but made to look like an accident." Said Lt. Clodumbo who was really looking at George.

"Lt. How do you know he did not wire up something right?" The foreman asked.

"I had a state electrician check it all out and he said, 'Aside from one thing, everything was done properly."

"So how d'ya know that one thing did not do him in?"

"Cause the guy at the electrical supply house made sure it was taken care of," said the Lt.

"Well, so much for that." Replied the foreman.

"There's someone else who wanted Larry not breathing, someone who knew somethin' bout electricity, now I gotta figure out why".

So Lt. Columbo ran a wants and warrants on George Barnesito, and a back- ground check for any time served. Yup, Barnesito did time in Walpole state Prison for being an accessory to murder. George did not think anyone would consider him to be in any kind of serious trouble but a guy stiffed him on a bet, George needed the cash to get out of the loanshark's jaws and a guy found out the hard way that his tub was wired, and not for sound. It was proven George had something to do with someone not finishing their bath. George had a cast-iron alibi, but still he had eagerly taken a part in someone dying because they stiffed him on a bet.

As Lt. Columbo was escorting him to the police cruiser along with a few officers, George asked, "How did ya know?"

"When you said, "Wheeew thank God that's over". You looked suddenly very relieved and let out a deep sigh. I had ta think you knew something, I ran a background check, Sure enough, some guy never finished his bath and what could've made that happen? I mean it is quiet, no gunshots."

"Guess I'm really screwed huh?" George asked as he was led closer to a police cruiser.

"Look on the bright side, ya went from an accessory to murder to the real thing."