The Second Date

"I didn't mean to imply it was perfect," I said. "I'm sorry."

"I know, Matt," she replied, with a sigh. "I'm just saying that sometimes I think all of you are the lucky ones. Lucky to be... normal."

"Rose, just because you're a Polly doesn't mean—" I started to say, before she cut me off.

"—Please, Matt. Just... don't." I shut up at that. Her eyes changed to a rich chocolate brown for a moment. "Dylan could have fucking killed you tonight, and I... wasn't any better than him."

"What do you mean? You stopped him."

"I lost control of myself, Matt," she said bitterly. "I... could have killed him, too."

"But you didn't! You... you stopped yourself, Rose. I saw you stop yourself."

"It doesn't matter. I... I want to help people, Matt. I'm supposed to be working with kids! I... want to adopt, to... be a mom someday, and... how am I supposed to do all that when I know I could just... snap at any time? I blacked out, Matt! It's been years, and I thought... I thought I had it under control."

"Had what under control?" She let out a sigh and frowned as she shook her head slowly.

"I mentioned at the park today that there were other things that could trigger a black-out in a Polly." I nodded. "One of those other triggers is a response to a traumatic event, and... I guess tonight just hit a bit too close to home for me."

"Oh. So you blacking out back there was because of something that happened in the past...?

"Yeah," she said, quietly.

"Is it something you want to talk about, or...?" I let the sentence trail off. "You don't have to if you don't want to, Rose, but... maybe it could help?" She let out a sigh.

"Well, therapy clearly hasn't done the trick, but... sure, I'll give It a shot. It's... not something I like talking about, but I... also want you to understand why tonight... went the way it did."

"O-okay," I said, as I repositioned the ice to my swollen lip and a fresh spike of pain shot through my mouth, causing me to wince.

"So... I told you earlier that my dad's in prison." I nodded, and Rose let out a small sigh before continuing. "He always... resented me for being a Polly. My mom was so happy when she found out she was pregnant, and my dad was, too... until he found out I had CPM. They ended up keeping me in the end; my mom refused to give me up. Then they had Nicole, and dad was just happy to have a normal child. Things got better for a while. My childhood was... fine. Dad mostly ignored me and doted on Nicole, and mom tried her best to make sure I grew up well."

"Alright. So... things didn't stay that way, I assume?" Rose shook her head.

"Things took a turn for the worse once I got old enough that I could start changing myself," she said.

"Wait, when does that happen? I just kind of figured you guys could... always do it," I said. Rose raised her eyebrows at me and shook her head.

"We don't develop the means to do it until we hit puberty." She smirked a bit. "God, can you imagine a bunch of Polly toddlers hopped up on sugar and changing themselves? It'd be chaos."

"Oh. I see," I said, cracking a slight smile despite the heavy mood. Rose nodded and her smile faded as her face grew solemn again.

"Anyway, once I could, I started to experiment a bit with my appearance. I was tired of my dad looking at me like I was some kind of freak," she said, frowning. "I thought if I made myself look like the rest of the family, he might treat me better, but... yeah, no - it just made things worse. Mom was working days at the time, and my dad made it clear how he felt about my attempts to... be normal. if I pissed him off, he would... hurt me. I healed myself afterward, of course — I got really good at that."

"Rose, I'm so sorry," I said, as I moved the bag of ice to my other cheek. "But you said he's in jail now? So, he can't hurt you anymore, right?" Rose frowned, and her gaze dropped to her lap again.

So, everything kind of came to a head one night when I was sixteen. My dad called me into the kitchen, and when I got there, he had a knife in his hands - I had forgotten to do the dishes or something stupid like that. We got into an argument and didn't hear my mom pulling up outside. Things escalated and dad ended up... using the knife on me, just as my mom walked in. She freaked out, obviously... went to get the knife from my dad's hands, there was a struggle, and... she ended up getting hurt, too." I gasped and brought my hand up to my face.

"I'm so sorry, Rose." She nodded and looked up at me with tears gathering in her eyes, then took a moment to calm down before continuing.

"A cut's not a big deal for me, since I'm a Polly, but... Matt, when that fucker hurt my mom, I just.... lost it. I... beat the shit out of him that night. Mom was hurt, but she still ended up having to pull me off of him in the end, and if she hadn't..." She let the sentence trail off and shook her head. "Well, I try not to think about that. He had to go to the hospital, and that was the beginning of the end, really. Mom pressed charges, he went to prison, they're obviously not together anymore, and... I got off because I was a minor, but I had to go to therapy to try and help me deal with it; clearly, I've still got work to do on that front, though - which... brings us to tonight. When I saw Dylan hurting you tonight, well... I lost it all over again."

"But you held back, Rose. Tonight, I mean... you stopped. It wasn't like last time, right?"

"I'm still dangerous, Matt," she said glumly.

"For defending your mom? For stepping in when someone gets hurt?" Rose looked like she wanted to speak up, but she ended up staying silent. "Maybe you took it a little too far when you were younger, but as far as I'm concerned, your dad fucking deserved it, Rose. And you're right; Dylan could have killed me if you hadn't intervened. You're not like him, Rose... you help people, not hurt them. You wouldn't hurt your mom, right? Or your sister?"

"Of course not!" Rose exclaimed. "But ever since that night... even now... my mom doesn't look at me the same way, Matt. I've been trying to prove to her that I've made progress... but then I went and flew off the handle all over again tonight. I feel like I'm back at square one again." I dropped the ice onto the couch and took her hands in mine. "Jesus, that's cold!"

"Oops. Sorry," I said, feeling embarrassed as I pulled my hands back and looked at her, my face serious. "You're not back at square one, though, Rose; you have made progress. You may have blacked out again tonight, but you didn't let things go too far this time. A small victory is still a victory, remember?" She nodded ever so slightly, and the corners of her lips perked up slightly. "And even beyond that, you helped steer that guy at the park today in the right direction. You helped me realize how poorly Cait treated me in the past... you've done all sorts of good today, Rose." Heat bloomed in her cheeks at that, and she finally smiled at me. "So yeah, maybe you took a bit of a tumble today—"

"—in more ways than one," she reminded me, with a grin.

"True, but you handled that, too. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that making mistakes is all a part of... learning and growing, like you said... even if you slip up, it's all in service of becoming a better version of yourself. So just... try not to be too hard on yourself, okay? You'll get there, Rose — I know you will." Rose's eyes flashed emerald-green for a moment, and she shot forward and hugged me tightly.

"I know I will," she said, her voice muffled a bit as she dug her head into my shoulder. "Thanks for the pep talk, Matt. It's just hard not to get bogged down when I mess up; I'll see about booking a therapy appointment on Monday. Maybe I can start there." She pulled away and her cheeks turned pink again. "Um... Matt... could I ask you something?"

"Yeah? What's up?"

"I know today was a bit of a mess, but I... still had a really great time with you; last week as well, and I've been... thinking."

"Thinking... about what...?" I asked, feeling a bit confused. Rose's eyes blinked between a light shade of amber and a deep forest green, and she took a few deep breaths to calm herself down. She seemed nervous about something. "Are you okay, Rose?"

"Er, yeah! I'm fine, Matt," she said, flashing a nervous smile. "I've just been thinking about, um... well, I was wondering if you... wanted to maybe make things... official between us?" She looked away as her pale cheeks somehow darkened even further.

"R-really?" I asked, in disbelief. I guess Ryan was right, after all.

"I know it's still kind of early, and if it's too soon for you, I totally get it, I just... wanted to let you know that I really like you... I feel like we just sort of... click really well together, and I was just wondering if you maybe felt the same way?"

"I do!" I piped up, without hesitation. I felt a bit too excited about it, so I took a second to rein myself in a bit. "I mean... I, er... definitely feel the same way, Rose. I feel like we're a good fit for each other too, and to be honest, I had wanted to make things official too, but... I didn't want to move too fast, either." Rose just beamed at me as her eyes turned a luminous shade of green again at my admission.

"So... we're r-really doing this, then?" she asked, her voice quivering with excitement. Instead of answering her, I just leaned forward and pressed my lips against hers, and she eagerly returned the kiss with a smile. My lips were still sore, but I really couldn't care less at that moment. We kissed each other for a bit until Rose finally pulled away and ran a hand through her white locks. "I assume that's a yes?" I just nodded at her and flashed a smile of my own.

She smiled as she pulled out her phone. "Oh my God, Lins is going to flip when I tell her!" She stopped herself and looked over at me with a slight smirk. "Actually, I should probably leave her and Ryan to it. You saw them both making googly eyes at each other all night, right?"

"Yeah, I did. They're definitely into each other."

"Ooooh, maybe they'll couple up, too!" Rose said, excitedly. "That way we could go on double dates together! Aaaah, I'm just so happy right now!" She let out a cute little squeal of delight as her irises turned green again, but then her smile twisted into a grimace as she reached up and gently massaged her forehead. "I could really do without this headache, though. I hope those pills kick in soon. I'm sure I'll be fine tomorrow, though." I nodded and yawned as I got up off the couch.

"Did you want to hit the hay, then? I'm actually pretty worn out - it's been a long night... for the both us, really."

"Agreed," Rose said, with a nod as she stood up and stretched a bit. She pulled her shirt off and frowned at the holes in it, then let out a sigh as she tossed it onto the back of the couch with her pair of stockings from earlier.

"Somehow, I don't think my mom will be able to patch those holes up. It's a shame - that was a really cute shirt."

"You really haven't had very good luck with your clothes today, have you?" She shook her head.

"Not really, no - I think I might be due for another thrift store excursion soon - you wanna come with and help me pick out some new clothes sometime soon?"

"Yes. Yes, I do," I said, smiling at her. She let out a yawn herself and stretched a bit.

"Whelp, I'm gonna go get myself ready for bed. If you wanna head in there, I'll be there in a few." I nodded and made my way to Rose's bedroom, taking the time to actually look around. Posters for various artists were hung on the walls - I saw posters for Phoebe Bridgers, The National, and a band called Hotel Mira. There was a bookshelf sitting against the walls that was absolutely stuffed with books, and a desk with a laptop sitting on it next to that. Her dresser was haphazardly stuffed with clothes, and of course, the nightstand where she kept her big-ass bottle of lube sat by the bed - there was a funky-looking old lamp with a polka-dotted shade sitting on top of it. I stripped down to my boxers and climbed into the bed before pulling the covers over me. I couldn't help but fidget and roll around giddily; I couldn't believe Rose and I were actually becoming a couple.

It wasn't long before she came into the room and smiled at me before heading over to her dresser.

"Could you hit the light please? Just pull on the chain."

I did as I was told and pulled the chain; the lamp fizzled to life and flickered a bit before it finally turned on. The bulb glowed with a soft yellow light, and the multi-colored polka dots on the shade cast strange colorful shadows on the wall. "Rose, I'm gonna level with you; this one of the ugliest lamps I've ever seen," I said, with a grin.

"Rude! That lamp is an antique, Matt. It belonged to my grandma," Rose said, as she started digging around in her dresser for a bit. "It has character!"

"You know, I really can't argue with that," I replied, with a chuckle as Rose finally pulled out a nightgown with little cartoon dragons and little dice on it and shoved her dresser drawer closed - it took her a couple tries, but she finally got it.

"The dragons are a cute choice," I said, grinning at her. "You really are big into fantasy, huh?"

"Yup!" she chirped, as she slipped it on. "Sometimes I play D&D here on campus - there's a club for it and everything. You ever played?" I shook my head. "Oh man, we should sometime. I know a guy who could run a nice little one-shot for us if you wanted. That way, you can see if you like it."

"Sounds like fun," I said, as Rose headed over to the light switch by her door. She flipped it and the room darkened; the only light came from the lamp next to me. She walked over to the bed and clambered in beside me, slipping under the covers. She settled into bed and wrapped her arms around me.

"It feels so nice to hold you like this, Matt. You make me feel... safe. Like I can actually be myself around you, you know?" I pulled Rose in close and kissed her, rubbing my hands gently up and down her body and delighting in the tiny goosebumps that prickled up on her skin.

"I'm glad, Rose," I said, as I smiled at her. "Are you starting to feel a bit more comfortable with... looking like that, then?" She let out a sigh and shrugged.

"I don't mind looking like this around you, Matt, but honestly, I'm not really ready to sport this look around other people quite yet. I know I sort of had to earlier at Whiskers, but... dammit, I wasn't going to reschedule just for that. I'd totally change my look up if I didn't have this damn headache. Ever since I blacked out earlier, I can't seem to change anything. I'm a little worried, but I honestly think I'm just tired - it probably just took a lot out of me. My body was in fight or flight mode, after all." I nodded.

"Well, I'm sure you'll be back to normal in the morning, then. should probably head to bed, then, huh?" I asked, softly. She was silent for a moment, then nodded and smiled.

"Yeah, probably. Could you do me a favor and hand me the mask that's in my nightstand please?" she asked. "It's in the bottom drawer." I nodded and reached over and opened the drawer to find a fuzzy blue eye mask. I pulled it out and handed it over to her. She wrapped it around her head and pulled it up onto her forehead, so I could still see her eyes. "It's been a wild night, hasn't it?"

"It has, for sure... but there's nowhere else I'd rather be right now, Rose." She smiled at me.

"I'm glad you're here with me, too. Goodnight, Matt."

"Night, Rose," I said, with a grin. We leaned in and kissed each other one last time, and then broke apart. Rose slipped down her eye mask as I reached over and pulled the chain on Rose's weird-ass old lamp, flooding the room in darkness just before I settled into bed for the night. My eyes were heavy, and I realized just how tired I really was - Rose was right; it had been a hell of a day, but as I laid there and dozed off to the sounds of Rose's gentle breathing next to me, I knew that, despite everything, it was hands-down the best date I'd ever been on - and I couldn't wait for the next one.